Laura Crosby

Page 16 of 99

3 Crucial Commitments for a Strong Marriage, Part 3

April 26, 2018 /

This week we’ve been looking at different commitments to strengthen our marriages. The last one ties into the story I shared on Monday about navigating carefully. Have you ever been driving cross-country and find yourself fighting fatigue, nodding off and jerking back to alertness, clutching the wheel more tightly? We can make commitments to nurture and protect, but what if we still find ourselves drifting towards the wrong lane?

3. Commitment to Course Correct

Sometimes we make allowances for a season when there are unique circumstances, but it’s easy to let temporary choices become habits that get us off course.

There may be a season when you have to travel a lot for work and you find yourself drifting apart from your spouse. At what point are you accommodating your career over your marriage and need to course correct?

You’re individuals and you may have separate interests, that involve relationships outside your marriage, but if the majority of time you spend on hobbies and social activities doesn’t include your spouse, you may need to course correct.

There may be a time when you’re stretched thin or have babies with crazy schedules and sleep becomes a priority over worshipping together on Sunday, but when does it become a habit rather than an exception and you need to course correct?

There may be time when you feel like you need to care for yourself, but it’s important to discern when self-centeredness becomes the norm over serving your spouse, and you need to course-correct.

There have been a couple of times in our marriage when we felt we needed the help of a counselor. Not because there was anything dramatic going on, but to do just a little course correction. We’ve told our married kids that if they ever want counseling and cost is a deterrent, we’ll pay.

What if you talked to your spouse tonight and had the courage to ask, “How are we doing? Are there areas where we’re getting a little off-course and need to make little corrections?” When we talk about potential dangers, when we bring them into the light, we start to drain them of their power.

Like I’ve written before, we’ve become more acutely aware of the spiritual battle that is going on. It’s so easy to let little stuff slide, but Peter reminds us:

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Maybe take a minute to pray for your marriage and the marriages of those close to you right now?

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

3 Crucial Commitments for a Strong Marriage, Part 2

April 25, 2018 /

Monday I posted the first in this series of commitments to strengthen our marriages. About a week ago there was a news story that made me think about the second commitment in marriage that’s crucial. The story was about a woman who went at high speed around a sharp curve in California and went through the guardrail, crashing into the ocean. It made me think of how many accidents have been prevented by that guardrail over the years.

It turns out that the woman who crashed through the guardrail in California wanted to, and we will find a way around our guardrails too if we’re determined to crash. But, if we want to set ourselves up for success in our marriage, we’ll install some form of guardrail before we’re on a slick, winding road. The Bible reiterates this.

The wisdom of the wise keeps life on track; the foolishness of fools lands them in the ditch.

The wise watch their steps and avoid evil; fools are headstrong and reckless. Proverbs 14:8, 16

So here’s the second commitment:

Continue reading

3 Crucial Commitments for a Strong Marriage, Part 1

April 22, 2018 /

Hey Friends, I originally wrote this as one post, but it got so long I decided to split it into three parts, that I’ll publish throughout this week. I’ve cut back so I usually only post once a week, so if you don’t like getting extra mail, just wait a week 🙂 My prayer is that if you’re married or thinking about getting married, you’ll spend some time reflecting on each commitment and add your own thoughts in the comments.

It was about 35 years ago when husband John and I got the news about a nationally known mentor of ours who had had an affair and was being removed from ministry. We felt like we had been in an earthquake and every picture that had been hung straight was now crooked. We were stunned. Heart-broken.

At the time, we were serving at a church in the suburbs of Chicago and spending that evening with close friends who had started an inner-city ministry. Together we wept and John said “If this can happen to ____________, it can happen to anyone.”

In a rare moment of clarity I yelled, “THIS DIDN’T JUST HAPPEN TO THEM!!! They made a series of choices!”

And choices have consequences, AMIRIGHT?

Continue reading

The Secret Mary Knew About Thriving in a Plan B Life

April 16, 2018 /

It’s the day before Easter as I write this, and I’ve been thinking about Mary.

Mary, the mama to Jesus. The one who, as a teenager was probably zoned out, day-dreaming about her fiancé and the cozy family life they’d have together with a passel of kids and a dog and a minivan, when a crazy heavenly disrupter showed up and announced Plan B. He tells her a lot of blow-her-mind stuff like she’s pregnant with the Messiah even though she’s not married, and she’s poor, and a “no-one”. But she knows her Lord intimately enough to trust Him. And she says,

“I am a servant of the Lord; let this happen to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

Did she have any idea what she was agreeing to? Did she mourn the loss of her Plan A that day?

She knew she was giving up the dream of a traditional marriage and pregnancy, but did she still envision a normal family life with Jesus as her son?

We think of Jesus in the garden before death, praying and saying, “Not my will but Yours.” but how many times did Mary have to pray that throughout her life?

When his brothers were jealous? When people mocked Him? When He did things she didn’t understand? When He was arrested and nailed to a cross? What of these things would Mary have chosen as her Plan A?

I’m betting that not one person reading this is living the “Plan A” life they envisioned. Even if you’ve had a pretty drama-free life, something is different than you imagined.

Continue reading

3 Ways to Connect in an Isolating World

April 11, 2018 /

This week, John and I are on vacation in Florida.

We step into pick-up games of tennis where we know no one.

I go to Starbucks where (unlike at home), no one knows me.

We go to church and look for connection among a sea of unfamiliar faces.

Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, confident or shy, we’ve all been in situations where we walk into a social gathering, a work event, the elevator in the building where we live, a church foyer, and know no one.

With so many eyes focused on phone screens,  world is becoming more and more isolating. A Huffington Post article says,

Our time has been called the “age of loneliness.” It’s estimated that one in five Americanssuffers from persistent loneliness, and while we’re more connected than ever before, social media may actually be exacerbating the problem.

So how can you reach out and connect?  It can take intentionality and courage, but it helps if you realize most people are as unsure as you are. Here are some suggestions:

Continue reading

5 Ways to Respond When Leaders Prove Human

April 3, 2018 /

Sunday we celebrated our Easter God, but on Monday we still live between the now and not yet, between Easter and Jesus’ return, in a world still filled with pain and pride and power struggles. We all do our best to follow Jesus, but we lurch and stumble along like toddlers, falling into the mud every few steps, lifting our arms for Jesus to pick us up and dust us off once again.

John and I have been increasingly heartsick over the past few weeks. We are trying to love and support a group of good friends and colleagues who are in the muck and mire of a very public ministry mess. They are all gifted, kingdom-minded leaders who I trust are each doing their best to respond as accusations are leveled and the media spins sensational headlines.

Maybe you have been in a similar situation, caught between friends who are divorcing, or in the middle of some drama at work, or conflict at your church. Or maybe you’re the one who’s in the mud wondering “What happened?”

Continue reading

A Catalytic “OneWord” Prompt for April

April 1, 2018 /

Well, it’s April and we’re 3 months into the new year. Can you even remember your One Word (IF you chose one!)?

I decided we need each other if we’re going to cooperate with God on His work in us, so I’m posting a One Word exercise at the beginning of each month that may help. If you want to look at the first two prompts, look here and here.

This month I was motivated by a post from Life Church on the power of personal declarations 

Craig Groeschel says,

“Our lives move in the direction of our strongest thoughts.” 

It’s kind of like the difference between looking at a flower bulb and saying “That’s an ugly mess”, and looking at it and saying “That is a picture of soon-to-be-beauty”.

Continue reading

Jesus is my Homeboy?

March 24, 2018 /

I like making plans. Our family teases me that my go-to is “God loves you and Laura has a wonderful plan for your life!”

I’m full of ideas. For other people. And God.

Is this ever you? You pray, and you can make it sound like a humble request, but you’re really telling Jesus what to do, right? It’s like “Here’s the plan, Jesus. This is the way I want it done so this is the way I’m sure You want to do it. Mkay?”

In Mark 6, when everyone is hungry, the disciples TELL Jesus (the Messiah, BTW) to send the people away. But He’s like “Um, no, that’s not my plan guys.” It always cracks me up when the disciples tell Jesus what to do in the Bible, but I should really recognize myself and be a tad embarrassed if I’m honest.

When I see this in Scripture it’s like the disciples are just Not. Paying. Attention.

Throughout the book of Mark Jesus predicts his death over and over, and  immediately after the third time, the disciples are like “Yeah, yeah, death and destruction…whatever…But we want places of honor, You down with that?”

Jesus responds with what I think He would often say to us if we were listening.

Continue reading

How to Find a Mentor

March 20, 2018 /

I hear so often these days from young women who would love to have a spiritual mentor. They say they want someone to “pour into” them. Some don’t have a great relationship with their mom, but most just long for another voice from someone a little further into the story God is writing with their life.

I’ve never had a “formal” mentor who met with me regularly and had an agenda, but I have had relationships with women who have greatly impacted my life. The relationships that I have with young women each look very different from each other. One wants challenge and to read or study together. Another wants parenting encouragement. A third is looking mostly for guidance about discerning God’s will as a newer Christian.

What if you want to be a mentor, or find a mentor?

Continue reading

The Third Way of Prayer

March 11, 2018 /

Seems like lately everyone around me has been experiencing loss, deep pain, or unexpected trauma.  As I walk along a wooded path my shoulders feel heavy. My spirit matches the damp gray afternoon and I dodge icy patches and sooty piles of snow. My prayers are more like a litany of lament, and it’s appropriate. There is a time for that. Absolutely. You may be lamenting, and God welcomes that.

There is also time for thanksgiving, for focusing not on what has been lost, but on all that we have to be grateful for…a kind of perspective corrective. We list one thousand gifts in a journal. We pay attention to our blessings.  We try to “think lovely thoughts”. Thanksgiving is always right and good.

But there’s a third way of praying  that has been most important to me in this heavy season.

Continue reading

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2024 Laura Crosby

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑