This week, John and I are on vacation in Florida.

We step into pick-up games of tennis where we know no one.

I go to Starbucks where (unlike at home), no one knows me.

We go to church and look for connection among a sea of unfamiliar faces.

Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, confident or shy, we’ve all been in situations where we walk into a social gathering, a work event, the elevator in the building where we live, a church foyer, and know no one.

With so many eyes focused on phone screens,  world is becoming more and more isolating. A Huffington Post article says,

Our time has been called the “age of loneliness.” It’s estimated that one in five Americanssuffers from persistent loneliness, and while we’re more connected than ever before, social media may actually be exacerbating the problem.

So how can you reach out and connect?  It can take intentionality and courage, but it helps if you realize most people are as unsure as you are. Here are some suggestions:

  1. Notice and lead with compassionate curiosity.

If a mom has a kid throwing a tantrum in Target and you can relate, say so! “Don’t worry. We’ve all been there. It will get easier.”

If you’re at a party or church, look for someone alone and empathize. “Hi, you look about as clueless as I am. I’m __________ . I’m new here. You too?” or “I don’t know anyone here. You either?”

If someone is juggling packages or looks lost, help! You might say, “Looks like you’re having a hard time, can I help?”

Take a risk!

2. Connect through kids or pets. Who doesn’t love to have someone ooh or ahh over their baby or dog? There are so many easy questions to ask! How old? Where did his/her name come from? What breed? (Dog not kid :))

3. Ask for a story. My favorite way to connect these days is when I see someone with a tattoo I ask them to tell me the story behind it. If someone is wearing an unusual accessory (like a shirt with a saying on it, or a piece of jewelry that looks handmade) it may be an opportunity to ask for the story of where they got it.

What would you add to my list?

Remember, the world is full of friends you just haven’t met yet! 

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Colossians 4:6