Author: Laura Crosby (Page 16 of 54)

3 Crucial Commitments for a Strong Marriage, Part 1

Hey Friends, I originally wrote this as one post, but it got so long I decided to split it into three parts, that I’ll publish throughout this week. I’ve cut back so I usually only post once a week, so if you don’t like getting extra mail, just wait a week 🙂 My prayer is that if you’re married or thinking about getting married, you’ll spend some time reflecting on each commitment and add your own thoughts in the comments.

It was about 35 years ago when husband John and I got the news about a nationally known mentor of ours who had had an affair and was being removed from ministry. We felt like we had been in an earthquake and every picture that had been hung straight was now crooked. We were stunned. Heart-broken.

At the time, we were serving at a church in the suburbs of Chicago and spending that evening with close friends who had started an inner-city ministry. Together we wept and John said “If this can happen to ____________, it can happen to anyone.”

In a rare moment of clarity I yelled, “THIS DIDN’T JUST HAPPEN TO THEM!!! They made a series of choices!”

And choices have consequences, AMIRIGHT?

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The Secret Mary Knew About Thriving in a Plan B Life

It’s the day before Easter as I write this, and I’ve been thinking about Mary.

Mary, the mama to Jesus. The one who, as a teenager was probably zoned out, day-dreaming about her fiancĂ© and the cozy family life they’d have together with a passel of kids and a dog and a minivan, when a crazy heavenly disrupter showed up and announced Plan B. He tells her a lot of blow-her-mind stuff like she’s pregnant with the Messiah even though she’s not married, and she’s poor, and a “no-one”. But she knows her Lord intimately enough to trust Him. And she says,

“I am a servant of the Lord; let this happen to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38)

Did she have any idea what she was agreeing to? Did she mourn the loss of her Plan A that day?

She knew she was giving up the dream of a traditional marriage and pregnancy, but did she still envision a normal family life with Jesus as her son?

We think of Jesus in the garden before death, praying and saying, “Not my will but Yours.” but how many times did Mary have to pray that throughout her life?

When his brothers were jealous? When people mocked Him? When He did things she didn’t understand? When He was arrested and nailed to a cross? What of these things would Mary have chosen as her Plan A?

I’m betting that not one person reading this is living the “Plan A” life they envisioned. Even if you’ve had a pretty drama-free life, something is different than you imagined.

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3 Ways to Connect in an Isolating World

This week, John and I are on vacation in Florida.

We step into pick-up games of tennis where we know no one.

I go to Starbucks where (unlike at home), no one knows me.

We go to church and look for connection among a sea of unfamiliar faces.

Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, confident or shy, we’ve all been in situations where we walk into a social gathering, a work event, the elevator in the building where we live, a church foyer, and know no one.

With so many eyes focused on phone screens,  world is becoming more and more isolating. A Huffington Post article says,

Our time has been called the “age of loneliness.” It’s estimated that one in five Americanssuffers from persistent loneliness, and while we’re more connected than ever before, social media may actually be exacerbating the problem.

So how can you reach out and connect?  It can take intentionality and courage, but it helps if you realize most people are as unsure as you are. Here are some suggestions:

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5 Ways to Respond When Leaders Prove Human

Sunday we celebrated our Easter God, but on Monday we still live between the now and not yet, between Easter and Jesus’ return, in a world still filled with pain and pride and power struggles. We all do our best to follow Jesus, but we lurch and stumble along like toddlers, falling into the mud every few steps, lifting our arms for Jesus to pick us up and dust us off once again.

John and I have been increasingly heartsick over the past few weeks. We are trying to love and support a group of good friends and colleagues who are in the muck and mire of a very public ministry mess. They are all gifted, kingdom-minded leaders who I trust are each doing their best to respond as accusations are leveled and the media spins sensational headlines.

Maybe you have been in a similar situation, caught between friends who are divorcing, or in the middle of some drama at work, or conflict at your church. Or maybe you’re the one who’s in the mud wondering “What happened?”

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A Catalytic “OneWord” Prompt for April

Well, it’s April and we’re 3 months into the new year. Can you even remember your One Word (IF you chose one!)?

I decided we need each other if we’re going to cooperate with God on His work in us, so I’m posting a One Word exercise at the beginning of each month that may help. If you want to look at the first two prompts, look here and here.

This month I was motivated by a post from Life Church on the power of personal declarations 

Craig Groeschel says,

“Our lives move in the direction of our strongest thoughts.” 

It’s kind of like the difference between looking at a flower bulb and saying “That’s an ugly mess”, and looking at it and saying “That is a picture of soon-to-be-beauty”.

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Jesus is my Homeboy?

I like making plans. Our family teases me that my go-to is “God loves you and Laura has a wonderful plan for your life!”

I’m full of ideas. For other people. And God.

Is this ever you? You pray, and you can make it sound like a humble request, but you’re really telling Jesus what to do, right? It’s like “Here’s the plan, Jesus. This is the way I want it done so this is the way I’m sure You want to do it. Mkay?”

In Mark 6, when everyone is hungry, the disciples TELL Jesus (the Messiah, BTW) to send the people away. But He’s like “Um, no, that’s not my plan guys.” It always cracks me up when the disciples tell Jesus what to do in the Bible, but I should really recognize myself and be a tad embarrassed if I’m honest.

When I see this in Scripture it’s like the disciples are just Not. Paying. Attention.

Throughout the book of Mark Jesus predicts his death over and over, and  immediately after the third time, the disciples are like “Yeah, yeah, death and destruction…whatever…But we want places of honor, You down with that?”

Jesus responds with what I think He would often say to us if we were listening.

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How to Find a Mentor

I hear so often these days from young women who would love to have a spiritual mentor. They say they want someone to “pour into” them. Some don’t have a great relationship with their mom, but most just long for another voice from someone a little further into the story God is writing with their life.

I’ve never had a “formal” mentor who met with me regularly and had an agenda, but I have had relationships with women who have greatly impacted my life. The relationships that I have with young women each look very different from each other. One wants challenge and to read or study together. Another wants parenting encouragement. A third is looking mostly for guidance about discerning God’s will as a newer Christian.

What if you want to be a mentor, or find a mentor?

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The Third Way of Prayer

Seems like lately everyone around me has been experiencing loss, deep pain, or unexpected trauma.  As I walk along a wooded path my shoulders feel heavy. My spirit matches the damp gray afternoon and I dodge icy patches and sooty piles of snow. My prayers are more like a litany of lament, and it’s appropriate. There is a time for that. Absolutely. You may be lamenting, and God welcomes that.

There is also time for thanksgiving, for focusing not on what has been lost, but on all that we have to be grateful for…a kind of perspective corrective. We list one thousand gifts in a journal. We pay attention to our blessings.  We try to “think lovely thoughts”. Thanksgiving is always right and good.

But there’s a third way of praying  that has been most important to me in this heavy season.

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Jesus Outside the Lines

At our church (CPC) we’ve been in a great season of exploring how Jesus stepped outside the lines of his culture in order to love others well. It has been a rich and challenging study, so I thought I’d share some quotes, questions, and resources that have been stretching and helpful.

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Satan and Other Stuff I Don’t want to Think About, part 2

Bagpipes echo “Amazing Grace” as Billy Graham’s casket is taken from his memorial service under a tent in his birthplace of Charlotte, North Carolina Friday. I was only able to catch the second half of the service on TV, but it brought me to tears with awe and gratitude that we have the privilege of telling people about Jesus.

Billy wasn’t infallible, but he got a lot right. And the big thing I see is that he simply shared the truth from God’s Word. Period. He marinated in it. It was naturally a part of his vocabulary.

Monday I confessed that I don’t give Satan enough thought.  I wrote about my need (maybe yours too?) for a corrected, healthy awareness of Satan and his agenda. Satan’s agenda is to separate us from God. His M.O.? Lies.

He (Satan) was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies. John 8:44 NASB

When Jesus goes into the wilderness, Satan uses three lies to tempt Him (Matthew 4). Satan basically tempted Jesus (and tempts each of us) to buy into false identities. A few that he uses are:

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