Author: Laura Crosby (Page 15 of 54)

Catching up on One Word

September 6, 2018 /

Are any of you familiar with the Enneagram? Well if you are, I’m a “7” which means I get distracted by ALL OF THE THINGS! Especially in the summer when there’s just so much awesomeness to see and do! Even if you’re not a 7 or whatever, maybe you can relate.

Summer is distracting in the best way possible. Our routines change. We’re outside 24/7 here in Minnesota because, winter. There are lakes and bide rides and cookouts and travel and tennis and bonfires… And then there’s some other writing and speaking I’ve been doing. Anyway, that’s my excuse for neglecting the blog for awhile. I’m guessing you’ve been so busy you haven’t missed it.

So let’s catch up a little. I missed the One Word Prompt for July and August. How’s that going? Here’s a challenge for September:

  • Who is someone who models your word? In whom do you see joy or patience or fruitfulness or whatever?
  • Ask them out to coffee and talk to them about how they have seen God grow them in that area.

My One Word is “fruit” and more specifically “patience”. Fortunately I’m married to the most patient person I know. I realized I can be learning from him!  I asked him how he does it (apart from the work of the Holy Spirit) and he said years ago he recognized that he didn’t like seeing impatience in others and so he decided to basically “fake it” til he made it. He decided to act like a patient person until he actually felt patient. True patience grew in him over time.

!

How are you doing? What can you celebrate today? Maybe join Paul in saying;

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Philippians 3:14

How to Have a Hard Conversation

August 15, 2018 /

We all have our stuff, right? The steep learning curve stuff. The stuff we’re not good at and would like to run from. For most of us, loving confrontation is one of those things. It seems that lately I’ve been in more conversations than ever about this and how we can do it well. I went back to this post from a few years ago and thought it was worth looking at again.

Recently we met for dinner with a young couple we love whose marriage is in crisis.

Another friend’s teenage son entered rehab.

Two friends had to fire employees.

One needs to break up with her boyfriend.

AAAAARRRGGGHHH!  For the love of world peace!

In each of these situations a crucial conversation (or series of them) was called for.  Conversations where emotions ran high.  Sometimes there was a difference of opinion.   Perhaps there was hard truth that needed to be clearly, but gently communicated.

John and I often repeat something our friend Nancy Beach once said: “Leadership is a series of hard conversations.”  I think that might as well be “LIFE is a series of hard conversations.”

In August we took a large group from our church to the annual Leadership Summit at Willow Creek.  The most pertinent talk for many of us was called “Crucial Conversations” by Joseph Grenny.

He said, any time you find yourself stuck, there are crucial conversations you’re not having, or not having well. Continue reading

A One Word Challenge for June

June 7, 2018 /

You know something I think many of us aren’t good at as Christians? Celebrating.

I think we’re pretty good at beating ourselves up, and judging others, comparing with others, and rationalizing stuff, but enjoying small wins where we see God at work bringing about change in our lives? Not so much.

I feel guilty and self-conscious noting accomplishments. Pride goes before a fall and all that. (Proverbs 16:18)

But the Bible talks about celebrations, festivals, and feasts. They are meant to generate thanksgiving, mindfulness, and praise of the Lord. The difference between patting ourselves on the back and what God describes in His Word is the orientation. Here are just a few examples.

Celebrate God. Sing together—everyone! All you honest hearts, raise the roof! Psalm 32:11

“This will be a memorial day for you; you will celebrate it as a festival to God down through the generations.” Exodus 12:14

Dress your priests up in salvation clothes, let your holy people celebrate goodness. 2 Chronicles6:41

Hezekiah and the congregation celebrated: God had established a firm foundation for the lives of the people—and so quickly! 2 Chronicles 29:36

Is my celebration all about me, Me, ME, or am I acknowledging God’s gracious work in my life?

It’s June. We’re halfway through 2018. Most of us who chose One Word have been at least vaguely aware of it. I’ve posted a kick in the pants at the beginning of each month to try to help us cooperate with the work God may want to do in our lives around the word we chose. But this month, let’s celebrate! What is at least one small win you can thank God for? 

Post a “win” in the comments. If you receive this through email all you need to do is click on the title. It will take you to the post and you just scroll down to leave a comment. If you haven’t commented before, it won’t show up immediately, but don’t worry, it will eventually! 

I’ll go first. My word is “fruit” as in the “fruit of the spirit”. Specifically I’m challenged with the patience and perseverance required to finish scary, challenging, long-term tasks. Reminding myself that it is the all-powerful spirit of God in me that enables this, instead of my own grit alone, helps. It also helps to remember my “why”. One of my small wins was persevering through technical challenges and finishing my first freebie (You can click here to get it.) with automated follow up welcome emails. The reason this is important is because I want to get life-giving resources into your hands and to build relationships – to reassure you this is a safe, and nurturing place to connect with Jesus and others.

Ok, your turn! What win can you celebrate?

 

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How Can I Hear God’s Voice?

May 31, 2018 /

This spring I visited a small group of our church’s High School Junior girls. They had a bunch of questions and their leader was kind enough to think I might have some credibility with them.

They asked all the usual stuff about why bad things happen to good people, and gay marriage, and conflict, but at the very end, one of the girls said, “Why doesn’t God speak the way He used to in the Old Testament?”

I think what she really wanted to know was, “Is this bigger than big creator of the universe, also close? Does He still care about talking to little ol’ me, or does a person need to be Moses to hear from Him?”

Continue reading

Books, Recipes, and Resources To Refresh You This Summer!

May 28, 2018 /

Woohooo! Summer finally arrived in Minnesota! April 15th we had a blizzard, and May  25th we had 90 degree plus temperatures. Oh Minnesota, you keep us on our toes! When summer finally arrives, cabins open and church attendance drops by one million percent because no one wants go go indoors ever. And it’s all good. We play hard while we can.

Summer is my jam. I feel more fully alive than any other time of year. Summer is lakes and biking and picnics and good books and refreshment. So I thought I’d share a few of my favorite things from the past month.

First, books. But even before that, a disclaimer: I find it really hard to review books because we all read through the lenses of our age, experience, and current circumstances. Something I think is “Meh” you may think changed your life. Ok, onward…

Continue reading

2 Guiding Principles for Tough Seasons of Leadership

May 18, 2018 /

“Leadership is a series of hard conversations.” A friend of ours said this to us years ago, and it has proven to be uncomfortably true.

Sometimes we’re on the initiating end of the hard conversation, sometimes on the receiving end. Many times both.

Sometimes people are observing hard conversations from afar and feel the need to pass judgment.

In ministry leadership, we invest more deeply, and get hurt more profoundly…Maybe it’s because of our perceptions of what love should look like – all grace no truth. Maybe it’s because we feel a deeper connection to each other in the Body of Christ, and therefore have a deeper sense of betrayal when we’re on the receiving end of a hard conversation. Maybe it’s because we’re all so, so human and as hard as we try, We. All. Mess. Up.

Recently my husband and I have been in a windstorm – on both the initiating end, and the receiving end of hard conversations, all of us doing our best.

Can I suggest two principles as we all walk through leadership challenges and hard conversations in different contexts?

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Mothers or Not Day

May 12, 2018 /

For most women the challenge of living through Mother’s Day joyfully each year is pretty much like getting out of Target without spending at least one hundred and seventy-nine dollars. It’s a unicorn. A pipe dream.

It tends to bring up ALL OF THE FEELS. Yes, joy, but also, lament, shame, longing, anger, fatigue…

There are single women who long to have a husband and kids, and married women trying desperately to get pregnant when each month, they cry in the bathroom with evidence that denies it.

There are kids of all ages who have lost their mothers, or have strained relationships with their moms.

There are moms with kids who are prodigals, far from home, and moms whose children have died, and mothers whose kids are struggling with emotional, physical, or intellectual challenges.

There are mamas who are overwhelmed with littles, who feel like every other mom is Mary Poppins, and they’re the only one without a magical carpet bag of tricks.

And others who feel guilty that they should feel more grateful, but Just. Feel. Tired.

These are legit.

Jesus says “Come to Me… with all of it. I am your safe place, your refuge, your cheerleader, your comforter. And like a loving parent holding us, He pats us gently and says “I’m here…I’m here…It’s gonna be ok. You’re doing great. Just hang on.”

Maybe we could find some way to say that to each other this Mother’s Day?

 

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A Catalytic One Word Prompt for May

May 1, 2018 /

Did you choose One Word for the year way back in January? Do you remember it?  I’m posting a One Word exercise at the beginning of each month that may help as we try to cooperate with God’s work in our life.  If you want to look at the first three prompts, look here , here and here

This past Sunday I preached on Jesus being tempted by Satan in the wilderness. There is so much in this passage, but the overwhelming message is that we each face our own wilderness – places of temptation. We are in a battle, but God has equipped us for it. The one offensive weapon He gives us is “the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God” (Ephesians 6:1). So… a question:

Are we effectively using God’s Word to grow in our One Word?

My idea for this month is to find a verse or passage to personalize and memorize that may help us in this journey of transformation. So my one word is “fruit”. I found these verses in Psalm 1 and have personalized them.

My delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and I meditate on his law day and night. I am
   like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season. Psalm 1:2-3

Confession: I work hard at it, but I’m a terrible memorizer. Can I share a resource that’s been hugely helpful to me? It’s called Scripture Typer   You can input the verses you want to memorize and it takes you through a process where you type the verse with it in front of you first, then with some words missing, and then from memory. It saves and tracks your progress. As a visual learner it’s been great for me. Check it out!

AND…I’d LOVE for you to share your verses in the comments below!

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3 Crucial Commitments for a Strong Marriage, Part 3

April 26, 2018 /

This week we’ve been looking at different commitments to strengthen our marriages. The last one ties into the story I shared on Monday about navigating carefully. Have you ever been driving cross-country and find yourself fighting fatigue, nodding off and jerking back to alertness, clutching the wheel more tightly? We can make commitments to nurture and protect, but what if we still find ourselves drifting towards the wrong lane?

3. Commitment to Course Correct

Sometimes we make allowances for a season when there are unique circumstances, but it’s easy to let temporary choices become habits that get us off course.

There may be a season when you have to travel a lot for work and you find yourself drifting apart from your spouse. At what point are you accommodating your career over your marriage and need to course correct?

You’re individuals and you may have separate interests, that involve relationships outside your marriage, but if the majority of time you spend on hobbies and social activities doesn’t include your spouse, you may need to course correct.

There may be a time when you’re stretched thin or have babies with crazy schedules and sleep becomes a priority over worshipping together on Sunday, but when does it become a habit rather than an exception and you need to course correct?

There may be time when you feel like you need to care for yourself, but it’s important to discern when self-centeredness becomes the norm over serving your spouse, and you need to course-correct.

There have been a couple of times in our marriage when we felt we needed the help of a counselor. Not because there was anything dramatic going on, but to do just a little course correction. We’ve told our married kids that if they ever want counseling and cost is a deterrent, we’ll pay.

What if you talked to your spouse tonight and had the courage to ask, “How are we doing? Are there areas where we’re getting a little off-course and need to make little corrections?” When we talk about potential dangers, when we bring them into the light, we start to drain them of their power.

Like I’ve written before, we’ve become more acutely aware of the spiritual battle that is going on. It’s so easy to let little stuff slide, but Peter reminds us:

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

Maybe take a minute to pray for your marriage and the marriages of those close to you right now?

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3 Crucial Commitments for a Strong Marriage, Part 2

April 25, 2018 /

Monday I posted the first in this series of commitments to strengthen our marriages. About a week ago there was a news story that made me think about the second commitment in marriage that’s crucial. The story was about a woman who went at high speed around a sharp curve in California and went through the guardrail, crashing into the ocean. It made me think of how many accidents have been prevented by that guardrail over the years.

It turns out that the woman who crashed through the guardrail in California wanted to, and we will find a way around our guardrails too if we’re determined to crash. But, if we want to set ourselves up for success in our marriage, we’ll install some form of guardrail before we’re on a slick, winding road. The Bible reiterates this.

The wisdom of the wise keeps life on track; the foolishness of fools lands them in the ditch.

The wise watch their steps and avoid evil; fools are headstrong and reckless. Proverbs 14:8, 16

So here’s the second commitment:

Continue reading

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