Tag: waiting

Soul Food When You Hate Waiting

May 2, 2020 /

I read somewhere this week that we’re past the initial phase of this pandemic when adrenaline was giving us energy. Now we’re just weary, realizing we’re going to need to slog along, waiting for a return to “normal” for longer than we hoped.

via GIPHY

One of the things my spiritual director has encouraged me to reflect on is what God accomplished in times of waiting in the Bible.

via GIPHY

For example, when Mary and Martha send for Jesus to come heal Lazarus, it says:

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, 

john 11:5-6

Later Jesus says to the disciples:

“Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there…

john 11:14-15

Jesus makes some clear statements about why (so that God would be glorified and they would believe), but what else might He have wanted to accomplish by dilly-dallying and allowing Lazarus to die? Why make Mary and Martha wait?

I hate to admit it, but waiting makes me desperate, and passionate and I can interact with Jesus a little like this…

via GIPHY

Maybe that’s another reason why He allows me to be in situations where I have to wait. My relationship with Him is intensified. It’s raw and real, and draws me closer to Him.

If you’ve been through a hard time with someone –

  • waiting to get news with a family member in the E.R.
  • waiting with a friend to talk to police after being the victim of a crime
  • waiting with your family for your unemployment check to come
  • waiting with your spouse to get pregnant
  • waiting with colleagues to find out if the client wants to hire you

– you get to know your companions on a whole different level right?

Vulnerability leads to greater intimacy. And waiting makes us vulnerable.

I’ll be honest. I like greater intimacy with Jesus, but I sure don’t like what it takes to get me there! Anyway…enough serious stuff.

Whether you’re waiting for the pandemic to be over, or waiting for something else, I hope some of these posts from Instagram make you smile. You can find me, or any of these accounts here.

My Therapist Says
Bustle

Another thing I’m trying to do while waiting is find things to celebrate!

Cinco de Mayo is coming up Tuesday and I’m going to try these shrimp tacos from pinchofyum.com that Maggie and Katy have been raving about. They’ve assured me liberal substitutions are permitted!

pinchofyum.com

What’s keeping your spirits up during these days of waiting? What are you learning?

Being Where Your Feet Are

November 26, 2019 /

Recently I was shopping in my favorite store, looking for a cozy top for Minnesota where it’s currently 18 degrees. The young sales girl who was helping me had heard that I’m in ministry, and shared that she and her pastor husband moved to the Twin Cities about 6 months ago from L.A.

She said that although they trust God’s plan, they are anxious to move back to L.A. next year (or as soon as possible). They don’t like it here! Can you even???

I just listened and empathized with how hard change and moving to a new community is, but after I left, I got to wondering if maybe I should have said more.

I remember when we moved cross country, away from home – me 8 months pregnant with our second child. We moved from the kindly homegrown midwest we had always known, to fast-paced, status-driven, political, transient Washington D.C. It was hard and lonely but honestly the most spiritually formative time of our life.

In the thick of things, I cried a LOT and every day I got on my knees and prayed that God would help me to be fully there (until He saw fit to graciously spring us from that purgatory :))

I think of Moses when he ran away after killing the Egyptian. He tried to take charge of a situation, but messed up, ran to the desert and tended sheep. Got married. Spent time in silence and solitude. Did he long to get out of there? Did he feel like he was waiting but didn’t know for what? Did he ever feel like “This is NOT where I belong!”?

The 40 years he was in the desert waiting, maybe he was learning humility, perseverance, faithfulness. How much was Moses totally present, with God, daily in order to learn these things?

https://www.instagram.com/thepracticeco/

It’s tempting to lean forward, to focus on

  • when the kids start school
  • when I get the job
  • when I get married
  • when we’ll “get there”, wherever “there” is that we long for.

But I don’t want to be so focused on the future, that I miss what God has to show me today.

We love a coffee shop in Naples, Florida, called Kunjani. They have a t-shirt that has been a great reminder to me. It says, “Be where your feet are.”

Did Moses have to work hard to be where his feet were in the desert? I do! Even when I’m not in a desert!

Maybe start with a prayer, “Lord, what do You have to teach me about Yourself and myself today? Here and now. Help me to be present and pay attention.”

Would you share where your feet are today in the comments please?

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

2 Things to Control When You Feel Out of Control

November 18, 2019 /

He [Abraham] did not know where he was going.

hebrews 11:8

I don’t know about you, but I ALWAYS want to know where I’m going! I want to know the PLAN, and (if I’m honest) I want CONTROL over the plan!

But often I’m dealing with “out of control”.

Recently I was with a group of friends sharing prayer concerns that felt out of control.

  • One has a husband in a toxic job and financial stress.
  • Another is struggling with a young child’s behavior.
  • A third has in-law tensions.
  • One is dealing with health issues, and another has a college student struggling with anxiety.
  • Me? I continue to feel like I’m being tossed around by a leaf-blower with no place to land for any length of time.

These are all situations where we feel out of control – praying and waiting and wanting to DO SOMETHING TO FIX IT! Can you relate? What’s your “out of control”?

If it’s any comfort, we’re not alone. The Bible is filled with out-of-control people who can’t fix their stuff on their own (think Sarah who’s barren, Moses chased by Egyptians, Hagar outcast, Mary a pregnant virgin…), and maybe out of control is the best place to be.

Maybe it’s good to know we will fail without divine intervention! Maybe we’re always there to a degree, but we just don’t realize it. And when we do, it’s an opportunity to lean in and experience God’s sufficiency.

You do your part. You pray. You wait expectantly. But what can you control while you’re waiting?

  1. Your tongue. By this I mean, now is the time to be ruthlessly honest. Show up authentically with God and pour out your heart. (check out Psalm 6)

Tell Him how hard this is, but also recite what you are counting on to be true about Him. Remind Him and yourself that He will never leave you, He is able to do immeasurably more than you ask or imagine, He is all powerful, His timing is perfect…

When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you…

psalm42:6 Msg

Just this morning I received an email that hit me hard and brought me to tears. A door that I thought was clearly open, was shut. I journaled about it, saying it felt like a game of cat and mouse. I was honest about my disappointment, but then I went back to the verses that the Lord gave me in a similar time of disappointment.

This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? … [No!] So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?

matthew 7:9-11

I’ve combined a couple of thoughts from Lysa TerKeurst and Craig Groeschel and made them a mantra:

God is good.

God is good to me.

God is good at being God.

I don’t sit where He sits.

I don’t see what He sees.

I don’t know what He knows.

God loves me beyond what I can understand.

2. Your ears. Who and what are you listening to? Sarah Bessey uses the phrase “Guard your gates”. Imagine there is a gate protecting your mind. You get to decide what you open it to. If you guard your gates, then nothing will come into your mind and heart that you don’t want in there.

Consider turning off any t.v. show, radio station, podcast, or social media that draws your heart away from God and weakens your faith.

We can also share with friends who will help bear our burdens, and listen to wise godly counselors who will encourage us in our waiting. Might you share the “out of control” you’re trusting God for in the comments so we can pray for each other?

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

When Your Waiting is Wearying

January 23, 2019 /

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.

Psalm 62:5

All waiting is hard. Some waits are more brutal than others.

It’s 7:30 a.m. in Florida as I write this. My sweet 88 and 85 year old parents are stuck in the Detroit airport on their way home from visiting us here. There is ice and snow pelting the Midwest. Oh, January.

Mom and Dad are “sleeping” in black vinyl and chrome airport seats not designed for comfort. They have been there since 5:00 p.m. last night when their connecting flight to Chicago was cancelled. The rescheduled flight has been pushed later and later to the point that they probably would get home quicker if they bought boots and walked.

They are waiting, waiting, waiting. But here’s the thing. We know that at some point, a flight will take off, carrying them from Detroit to Chicago. They are waiting with a sure end.

Also this morning as I’m writing, I jump up every few seconds to catch the sun as it lifts through the clouds above the Atlantic Ocean. I wait for the sunrise. I am waiting with a sure end.

Our friend Alyssa was pregnant, waiting a week past her due date, but the doctors comforted her, saying at some point her baby girl would be born. It was a sure thing.

However, as Emily P. Freeman says, “All waiting is not created equal. This I know for sure.”

I have other friends who are waiting without a certain end.

One who is waiting to get pregnant.

One who is waiting for healing.

One who is waiting to meet the man who she longs to marry.

There is no clear picture of the end. No guarantee that at some point someone official will call your number, and say “Ok, it’s time. You’re done waiting for exactly what you want.”

Years ago I was waiting for a job, a title, a paycheck – validation that my calling was legit. That job never came. What I learned was that what I was waiting for wasn’t as important as Who I was waiting with.

Who > What  

When my focus is on Emmanuel, God with me, I am reminded that He loves me more than I can imagine.

I am assured that He will work all things together for good as I seek Him in the waiting.

I am secure in my identity as a cherished child of His regardless of circumstances.

I am prompted to consider that His perspective is greater than mine, His purposes will prevail.

I am a terrible wait-er. Much easier for me to write this than to practice it. But practice we must.

So, today if you are weary of waiting, take a deep breath.

Breathe in the nearness of your friend Jesus who waits with you.

I started thinking about this prompted by Emily P. Freeman. If you’d like more on waiting, check out her wonderful podcast, The Next Right Thing.

What Do Formation and Escape Have to Do With You?

February 4, 2018 /

As I write this, I’m sitting in an airport lounge in Seoul, Korea.

We’ve been in the air over 17 hours and have 5 more to go in order to reach Hanoi, Vietnam, our destination.  I have something to drink, and a soft chair, and an internet connection, and I’m blessed to be heading to see the work of God in a new part of the world (to me). This is the best case scenario.

Still, travel represents one of the everyday experiences God can use for transformation. When we travel, so much is out of our control.

Think cancelled flights, lost luggage, crying babies, delays, and slow people who clog the TSA lines.

It doesn’t matter if it’s international travel, or going to Target with two toddlers in tow, our formation often comes in situations we want to escape from.

I think of another “traveler” – Moses – and his “toddlers”, the Israelites. If he had had his choice he probably would have gone it alone, and preferred straight line from Egypt to the Promised Land, bypassing the 40 years in the desert wandering thing.

When the Israelites are being difficult, Moses says, “What am I to do with these people?” Which is exactly the question you may be asking today.

Continue reading

The Waiting Room

October 31, 2016 /

I’m not a good wait-er.  At all.

As a wait-er you’re not in control (When are you ever, really?  But it feels worse when you’re waiting).

It feels like you can’t DO anything constructive.

It feels like everyone else is going on with their life and you’re on hold.

Most of us are waiting for something.

I have friends who are waiting for a husband.  Or a wife.

Friends who are waiting for a prodigal to return.

For an acceptance letter.  Or a baby.

Waiting for a diagnosis.  Or a cure.

Waiting for a job.  Or someone to need them.  Or a place where they feel like they’d be missed if they were gone.

Something I heard Holly Furtick say a few years ago really stuck with me.

She said, “What seems like a pointless or painful waiting room can be God’s most productive workroom.”

I thought “Aha!!  I love being productive!  Now she’s going to talk about what we can DO to CHANGE things and get out of the waiting room!”  Not so much.

The work that we do while waiting is most often soul work.  Inside stuff that requires patience (Does anyone like that word?), obedience, discernment and cooperation with God.

A few years ago my mom had surgery. In the waiting room where my Dad and I sat, they had this nifty flat screen and on it were listed all the patients in surgery for the day.  It tracked their progress, from pre-op, to surgery, to recovery room, to permanent room.  In addition, if the surgery was long, they’d send word out with a nurse as to how it was going.

When I’m waiting I could really use a spiritual progress monitor showing exactly how I’m doing and when it’s all gonna be over.

But instead of even enduring in the comfortable, clean lounge of a hospital, waiting often seems a lot more like we’re survivors of the Titanic, clinging to God among the wreckage in cold, dark water.  Disoriented and desperate to do something.

Every once in awhile we’ll flail our arms and try to swim to shore deluded into thinking we can swim the hundreds of miles on our own.  But we realize we can’t and we go back to clinging.

Clinging is the work of the waiting room.

We cling and we say “Lord, help me to see you. Somehow.  Today. Even for a second.

design-2

And slowly, ever so slowly, the wait results in just a little bit more of the weight of His glory being formed in us.

Maybe the moment when we get the job or the baby or the whatever, isn’t the big deal, but rather the thousands of moments you choose courage and hope as you cling to the One who loves you.

One more thing…With my dad in the waiting room, it was easier because we had the company of each other.  So, today, if you’re waiting and you’re reading this, know that you’re not alone.

What’s your experience of waiting?

Three Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Waiting

February 2, 2015 /

“Waiting is our destiny as creatures who cannot by themselves bring about what they hope for. We wait in the darkness for a flame we cannot light; we wait in fear for a happy ending we cannot write. We wait for a not yet that feels like a not ever. Waiting is the hardest work of hope.” Lewis Smedes

The other day a young mom asked if we could meet for coffee.  I had no idea what she wanted to talk about so when she said, “I want to ask what you’ve learned about waiting.” I’m sure my expression must have conveyed the incredulity I felt.  I wanted to say, “What??! Waiting  is one of my WORST things!

Couldn’t you ask about Gilmore Girls trivia or how to hone spy skills so you’re ready in case the CIA calls?  Those are my good things!

But no, it was waiting she was struggling with.  At least I could empathize because I’ve done a lot of it.

I remember the time I got trapped in my OBGYN’s exam room, sitting in my lovely paper gown on a table for an hour “And NO PHONE!” to call and remind someone I was there. Tiptoeing paper-garbed to the front desk did not seem to be a reasonable choice, and I thought as soon as I got dressed the Dr. would show up.

Even if not stuck in a Dr.’s office, most of us are waiting for something.  Waiting for a job or a baby or a husband or healing or whatever.

Turns out a lot of us can relate to not being good “wait-ers”.  The Today Show talked about a recent study that said: Continue reading

What to do When You’re Stuck, part 2

May 29, 2014 /

Tuesday (yes, I’m a little off schedule with the holiday weekend) I wrote about the universal experience of feeling stuck from time to time.  For a week, or a month, or maybe you feel like you’re living a “stuck” life.

I shared some things I’ve been learning and trying to apply from Nehemiah who never acted without praying, and never prayed without acting.  Like peanut butter and jelly, prayer and action were inseparable in Nehemiah’s life as he got the Israelites unstuck and lead them in re-building the walls around Jerusalem.

But it turns out there was more.  Instead of pb & j, it was more like a BLT.  There was a third distinguishing characteristic in Nehemiah’s life – praise.

Over and over again he acknowledges dependence on God’s character – His power, His help, His care.  Nehemiah doesn’t lose sight of who’s God and who’s NOT.  He prays on behalf of the people “whom You redeemed by YOUR great strength and YOUR mighty hand.”

He reminds others “our God will fight for us” and says “Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome…”  He tells others about “the gracious hand of God” repeatedly, and acknowledges the work is done “with the help of our God.”

So…PRAY, ACT, PRAISE, REPEAT.  But what if this “magic” formula doesn’t work in 52 days like it did for Nehemiah?

Sometimes I believe we stay stuck because God is at work “unsticking” other stuff in us that we’re not aware needs unsticking.  Character stuff that may not be our priority, but is His.  Like the stubborn leftover egg in a frying pan, He scrapes away.Unknown

What if our prayers in these seasons included, “Lord, help me not just to obsess on getting unstuck, but for as long as I’m here, show me what You want to form in me.  Help me to be present to You in each moment.”

Our friend, Steve Hayner, is “stuck” in a season of scary, debilitating cancer.  He is beautifully living out a life with similar character qualities to Nehemiah.  The other day he wrote this:

 In J.B. Phillips’ translation of the New Testament, he renders Romans 5:1-5 this way: 

1-2 Since then it is by faith that we are justified, let us grasp the fact that we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through [Christ] we have confidently entered into this new relationship of grace, and here we take our stand, in happy certainty of the glorious things he has for us in the future.

3-5 This doesn’t mean, of course, that we have only a hope of future joys—we can be full of joy here and now even in our trials and troubles. Taken in the right spirit these very things will give us patient endurance; this in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces a steady hope, a hope that will never disappoint us. Already we have some experience of the love of God flooding through our hearts by the Holy Spirit given to us.

 

These were great verses to wake up to this morning.  Life is lived in the grace of Jesus through and through–whether the grace is obvious in our immediate circumstances or not. With Jesus at work in our lives, God’s “good” is always being done and we always continue to grow and to be transformed.
Have you been in a situation of feeling “stuck” over a long season?  What do you feel like God was forming in you?

Waiting at Gate C6, C9, E10, H5…

February 11, 2013 /

I’ve spent a lot of time in airports this past week.  And this was not a happy thing.

It’s not like I was going someplace exotic like Bora Bora, or ran into Mumford and Sons on their way to the Grammys.

With the mega snowstorm that hit plus, normal mechanical stuff, It was just a matter of multiple delayed flights where each update means a gate change and a later departure.

And so it meant sitting.

And waiting.  Hours and hours of waiting.

Years ago John and I heard a motivational speaker who, in these situations used the refrain “You can cancel my flight, but you can’t cancel my day!” 

That sounds so…positive!  So cheery.  So empowering. 

But it’s just an annoying quote when your life is about being productive and on the go and you’re sitting in an airport, missing the event you’re scheduled for, or waiting to get home and your husband texts that line to you.  Are you with me?

When your plans are upended and you feel upended like Charlie Brown, once more having the football snatched away just as he was kicking, and you’re out of control, how do you control what you can – your attitude?

I’d like to be super spiritual and tell you all the Scripture that came to mind, but here’s how it went.

First I tried the practice of thanksgiving.  I was very thankful they aborted the first take off of one of my flights half-way down the runway, throwing on the brakes when an emergency light came on.  Safety is always good in my book.

And I was thankful for the cute little girl in the terminal with the Tinkerbell peeking out of her backpack.  And then I was pretty much done with thankfulness (with apologies to Anne Voskamp :)).  Still unproductive and waiting…

Next I tried praying while unclenching my hands, letting go of my need for power and control.  Very unproductive and still waiting (but it felt like the right thing to do)

Then, I tried to see Jesus.  To be present and aware of passengers around me who I might encourage. But every head was down, every eye seemed to be glued to Iphones while mine was dead (This was not on my “things I’m thankful for” list!).

Lastly I tried to smile.  I had just heard about a new study out that shows that smiling affects your attitude, reduces stress, and increases heart health.  Sounded good to me.

I tried, but I felt kind of like a Stepford Wife, plastic and robotic.  And I think people wondered if I was a little “off” shall we say.  I was unproductive, still waiting, and my mouth muscles hurt.

In the end I bought a Chik-fil-A sandwich and a People magazine.

0-2

I remember hearing someone say once that God wants to give us a “snow day” every week with Sabbath.  Why do we resist?  Why do we seem so addicted to “doing”… to being recognized for what we accomplish?  Is it born out of a fear that being God’s beloved child isn’t enough?

Maybe, we need to relax and remember God’s ok with unproductive.  Having Chik-fil-A and a little Sabbath at Gate C6 was not a bad thing.

How do you handle interruptions to your plans and out-of-controledness?

What are you Waiting For?

May 2, 2012 /

Last week I was down in the Chicago area because my mom was having surgery and I wanted to be there to help out and cheer her on.

Her last words as she was going in were “Isn’t he CUTE??” with a gleam in her eye as she pointed to her doctor.  Her first words out of surgery were “How does my hair look?”  Her doctor warned her not to sell her leftover Oxycodone on the street corner.

She’s scrappy and has a remarkable spirit and my dad is devoted and I wasn’t really needed, but it made me feel better to be there.

On the day of her surgery my dad and I spent pretty much all day in the waiting room.  I’m not a good wait-er.  At all.  As a wait-er

You’re not in control (When are you ever, really?  But it feels worse when you’re waiting).

It feels like you can’t DO anything constructive.

It feels like everyone else is going on with their life and you’re on hold.

Most of us are waiting for something.

I have friends who are waiting for a husband.  Or a wife.

Friends who are waiting for a prodigal to return.

For an acceptance letter.  Or a baby.

Waiting for a diagnosis.  Or a cure.

Waiting for a job.  Or someone to need them.  Or a place where they feel like they’d be missed if they were gone.

Recently, I heard Holly Furtick speak on waiting, and something she said has been rolling around in my brain ever since.

She said, “What seems like a pointless or painful waiting room can be God’s most productive workroom.”

I thought “Aha!!  I love being productive!  She’s going to talk about what we can DO to CHANGE things and get out of the waiting room!”  Not so much.

The work that we do while waiting is most often soul work.  Inside stuff that requires patience (Does anyone like that word?), obedience, discernment and cooperation with God.

In the waiting room of the hospital where Dad and I were they had this nifty flat screen and on it were listed all the patients in surgery for the day.  It tracked their progress, from pre-op, to surgery, to recovery room, to permanent room.  In addition, if the surgery was long, they’d send word out with a nurse as to how it was going.

When I’m waiting I could really use a spiritual progress monitor showing exactly how I’m doing and when it’s all gonna be over.

But instead of even enduring in the comfortable, clean lounge of a hospital, waiting often seems a lot more like we’re survivors of the Titanic, clinging to God among the wreckage in cold, dark water.  Disoriented and desperate to do something.

Every once in awhile we’ll flail our arms and try to swim to shore deluded into thinking we can swim the hundreds of miles on our own.  But we realize we can’t and we go back to clinging.

Clinging is the work of the waiting room.

We cling and we say “Lord, help me to see you. Somehow.  Today. Even for a second.  Help me to focus on Your purpose rather than my problem.”

And slowly, ever so slowly, the wait results in just a little bit more of the weight of His glory being formed in us.  Maybe the moment when we get the job or the baby or the whatever, isn’t the big deal, but rather the thousands of moments you choose courage and hope as you cling to the One who loves you.

One more thing…With my dad in the waiting room, it was easier because we had the company of each other.  So, today, if you’re waiting and you’re reading this, know that you’re not alone.

What’s your experience of waiting?

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