My husband John and I used to love mowing our lawn. I don’t know why. Maybe because it was outside in the wide green world and it gave us a break from kid duty. These days, not so much. (note: in place of the grass in this picture, the other day we got snow 😬)
Our front yard is a steep hill that is ankle twisting and we have a tree that seems to take sadistic glee in throwing down small branches like grenades to block our path so we have to stop multiple times to clear the minefield.
Anyway, I was mowing the lawn the other day, thinking John would probably hear and come out to relieve me at some point. It’s possible I may have speculated about a way to turn up the volume on the mower, or considered “accidentally” ramming it into the side of the house so John would know how sacrificially I was serving him!
But he didn’t seem to notice, and didn’t come out. Eventually I realized I was going to have to do the whole thing. And I started tallying my scorecard.
You know what I mean. When you start making a list in your head all the things you’ve done for your spouse or your friend, versus what he (or she) has done for you to decide if it’s even-Steven or if you should be ticked that you’ve done more to sacrifice/serve/go out of your way for them than they have for you.
Who’s on your scorecard? Your spouse? A sibling? A friend or colleague?
As I thought about it, John was way ahead on this particular day. He had done laundry, made up the guest room bed, and sat on hold for many minutes trying to sort out our insurance because our car was stolen. Hmmm….He “wins” this round.
Then I thought, “What if God kept score like I do?” The good, the bad, what I do (ostensibly) for Him, what I do for myself… It would never balance out.
Fortunate the person against whom the Lord does not keep score.
Romans 4:7 msg
Acts 10:29 says Jesus, filled with power and the Holy Spirit “went around doing good…” Not because He wanted to draw attention to Himself, or because the people He came across were so deserving, or because He wanted to balance out a scorecard.
Grace spoils us rotten. We don’t do math in our family, but even I know it doesn’t add up.
The secret to my parents’ marriage seems to be their ability to out-serve each other. They don’t keep score. My dad is inordinately patient, waiting for my mom in the car outside church, grocery stores, clothing shops, farm stands… when she doesn’t deserve it.
And my mom accommodates my dad’s picky eating habits, making him a special side salad with the homemade thousand island dressing, or a separate casserole without onions, zucchini, or mushrooms when he doesn’t deserve it.
Grace promotes grace. The more aware we are of the lavish love of God, the more we desire to serve Him. When I feel spoiled by John, when he serves me, I want to serve him.
But what if for now, I tear up the score card, put my head down and focus on blessing John, praying for him as I push the mower through the minefield of my self-centeredness?
I glimpse a small patch of bright fire red in the middle of still-green maple leaves as I bike through my neighborhood to Starbucks early in the morning, greeting dog-walkers and porch sitters with their first cup of coffee. Cardinals chirp and I imagine they are discussing plans to head south.
It’s not cold yet, but there’s a change in the air. The mornings are cooler and soon it will take all day for the sun to warm the earth, barely struggling up to the high, like a middle school boy trying to do chin-ups, then sliding quickly back down.
Yellow buses lumber through the neighborhood doing practice runs and we notice that dusk tiptoes in earlier. I smile at “bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils”. I want to light candles, make soup, bake muffins. Things are changing.
Whether you’re back to packing lunches and driving carpools, adjusting to a new baby in your home, or anticipating a change in employment, moving to a new city, or trying to accept a “new normal” without a loved-one, Fall marks a season of change. And even good change can be hard.
I’ve enjoyed a glorious summer at home in Minnesota. This week I need to head back to California where my husband has an interim pastoral position. I’m so thankful for home and summer, but I’m also thankful I’ll be reunited with John and our west-coast daughter and son-in-law.
I look forward, “adventurously expectant” (Romans 8:15 MSG) to what God has next, but still… It’s got me reflecting on how to “choose life”(Deuteronomy 13:19) while also in the midst of the grieving that inevitably comes with change.
Here are three practices I’m engaging in:
1. Honor Traditions
In seasons of change, traditions are comforting and reassuring. Throughout Scripture God institutes festivals and celebrations that are woven into the rhythm of the year to help us remember His faithfulness.
One of our traditions through the years as our daughters were growing up, was a “first day of school dinner” to which we invited two single friends on staff to join our family. They are like surrogate aunties for our girls. We always had homemade chicken pot pie and share “first day” highlights with laughter and thanksgiving.
What traditions can you continue to embrace (or even create) during a season of change?
2. Reflect on Relationships
Change in location or circumstances often means change in relationships. Some people you’ve seen regularly will seemingly vanish from your everyday life.
Transition is a good time to do a relational Examen. Reflect on the people in your life.
Are there any relationships where there might be unresolved issues?
Who are the friends that remain steadfast through changing seasons? How do you continue to nurture those relationships?
Are there places where God is prompting you to reach out and make new friends?
Recently, God convicted me that there was a past relationship where I hadn’t sufficiently checked in to make sure there wasn’t unspoken pain. I felt like maybe I hadn’t adequately cared for this person in her time of transition, so I set up a coffee to ask how she felt. Is there someone you’ve been too busy to see in this new season? Might they be hurt?
3. Focus on the unchanging character of God
What are the attributes of God, the glimpses of grace and goodness you can call out each day as a counter-weight to the circumstances which may feel out of control or stressful in seasons of change?
If you have kids, can you share “God-sightings” around the dinner table?
Or journal about them? Or have a texting agreement with a friend – each of you texting how you remember God’s attributes each day?
The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.
psalm 33:11
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness
lamentations 3:22-23
So, those are my thoughts on what helps when change seems to throw me a loop. Maybe just pick one to focus on each day this week.
And what ideas would YOU share? If you receive this in email, just click on the title at the top and it will take you to the host site where you can leave a comment.
And…Just for a fun bonus, here’s the chicken pot pie recipe I use. Maybe consider making it and inviting some new friends over!
Crust
1 box Pillsbury refrigerated pie crusts, softened as directed on box
Filling
1/3 cup butter
1/3 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 3/4 cups chicken broth (from 32-oz carton)
1/2 cup whole milk
2 1/2 cups shredded cooked chicken (I splurge on rotisserie chicken already deboned)
2 cups frozen mixed vegetables, thawed
** I usually cut down on either the broth or the milk, and I add about a Tablespoon of “Better than Boullion organic chicken base” Can also add sautéed mushrooms. Steps
1 Heat oven to 425°F. Make pie crusts as directed on box for Two-Crust Pie using 9-inch glass pie pan. (I pre-cook the bottom crust for about 10 minutes so it doesn’t get soggy with the filling)
2 In 2-quart saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Add onion; cook 2 minutes, stirring frequently, until tender. Stir in flour, salt and pepper until well blended. Gradually stir in broth and milk, cooking and stirring until bubbly and thickened.
3 Stir in chicken and mixed vegetables. Remove from heat. Spoon chicken mixture into crust-lined pan. Top with second crust; seal edge and flute. Cut slits in several places in top crust.
4 Bake 30 to 40 minutes or until crust is golden brown. During last 15 to 20 minutes of baking, cover crust edge with strips of foil to prevent excessive browning. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.
There’s a reason I haven’t been posting lately. It’s because I feel like there are just too many words coming at us. Too much news, too many emails, too much technology. We are feeling dehumanized and desperately long for the things that remind us we are made in God’s image.
We miss hugs, talking in person, laughing around a table…And if you’re like me, almost anything on a screen makes you feel weary.
I’m popping on today to suggest some practices that might help. But before we look at things to fill us up, what about putting boundaries on the things that drain us and make us feel dehumanized?
A few boundaries I’ve found helpful:
Turn off ringer and leave phone in one place in the house when you are home so it’s not nearby.
Tape one reliable news show instead of having news on in the background or turning it on indiscriminately.
Set your phone for boundaries. Go to Settings, then “Screen time” and set “Down time” (times when your apps won’t be available to you) and “App limits” (you can choose to set a time limit on certain apps you may be tempted to use too much and your phone will notify when you’re at your limit)
After limiting what drains you, commit to some practices that fill you. Here are some of my suggestions. Maybe just pick one to focus on today, or add yours in the comments!
1.Breathe
I used to think it was dumb when leaders had us pause to pay attention to our breath as a pre-cursor for prayer. I was wrong. Maybe it is the prevalence of technology and a 24/7 news cycle that has brought home the value of this practice that truly helps me be more present to God.
“God is the oxygen of your soul. Connecting body breath to God is a spiritual practice.”
Adele Calhoun
Go outside and sit on your front step (or on a park bench) and breathe in deeply. Think of the breath of God (the Holy Spirit – Ruach ) filling every inch of your body. Breathe out the care and anxiety you’re carrying.
Then use your senses. What are 5 things you see? What are 5 things you feel? Hear? Smell? Just sit, and breathe. What’s the invitation of God in this moment? Be present and human.
2.Create
Make something with your hands. Anything. Especially if your day is spent mostly using your mind. For me that looks like sewing masks, or baking, or creating environments for gathering people. Maybe for you it might be creative lettering, or photography or making a care package for someone.
3.Read
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8
When we read Scripture, it reminds us that we are not alone. We are not the first to experience this mess. God is not surprised or overwhelmed, or insufficient for what we are facing. There are wonderful parallels to this season in Exodus chapters 12-18 if you want a place to start.
When we read books about people and places different from us, it helps us look beyond ourselves and our own circumstances. It’s not escapist entertainment, but I think the book, American Dirt, is one of the best books I read this summer. It took me into the world of the immigrant experience as a mother and son flee Mexico for the U.S.
What good books are you reading?
4.Smile
During this incredibly stressful season, we need to laugh. We need beautiful pictures and stories that lift our spirits, inspire us, or make us smile. Most of you know I deleted Twitter and am rarely on FB, but I love Instagram because it brings joy. I follow tons of dog and travel feeds. I’ll spare you those, but here are a just a few of my favorite feeds.
If you want adventure, follow @jimmychin .If you want to experience life on a delightful sheep farm, follow @sweckerfarm (especially her daily stories!)For encouragement (even if you have his book) follow @charliemackesie !If you wish you lived in the British countryside, follow @suddenjourneys (Especially her daily stories!!).If you’d like to live in Paris, follow @alexandrine_ar !For awe and wonder at God’s creation, follow @usinterior !
5. Thank
Study after study has shown that the practice of gratitude has benefits both physically and emotionally. You may want to keep a gratitude journal, or practice sharing 3 things you’re thankful for at dinner each night.
What are you thankful for right now?
6. Get Out (while wearing a mask at a social distance).
I want to be careful and wise with this one because we all have unique circumstances, and some will be limited more than others. But, within reason, how can you stay connected in person with others?
When the pandemic started, we decided to invest in making our outdoor space more welcoming and conducive to gathering people with distance. We bought a few more chairs and years ago we got a white tent at Costco (which is actually advertised as a carport).
Our daughter, Katy says she’s discovered paddle-boarding to be an ideal socially distanced activity to do with friends. For me, tennis is my go-to.
Maybe “getting out” is inviting friends to outdoor spaces with you, but I also read a great article recently on the importance of “casual connections” – how they provide needed emotional support and contribute to our sense of well-being. God did not create us for isolation, right?
The article talks about “consequential strangers” (like baristas, beauticians, checkout people at the grocery store) who give us the feeling that we belong to a community – a basic human need.
Consequential strangers “are as vital to our well-being, growth, and day-to-day existence as family and close friends. Consequential strangers anchor us in the world and give us a sense of being plugged in to something larger…They are vital social connections – people who help you get through the day and make life more interesting.” *
What is one of these practices you might try today? What would you add?
*Melinda Blau and Karen L. Fingerman “The Power of People Who Don’t Seem to Matter…But Really Do.”
The other day I posted some thoughts about complicated relationships and the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Still, there are hard decisions to navigate when there is conflict among friends or family. How do we commit to both grace and truth?
If your 7 year old daughter scores two goals and plays a great game of soccer, but kicks someone on the opposing team while they’re down and walks away, is it right to only say “Way to go! You were awesome! You are such a great soccer player!”?
Is it a blessing to only affirm without also naming the pain caused to the opposing player? Obviously not, but other situations aren’t as clear. It’s…complicated, right?
Truth without grace isn’t really true. Rather, it is aggression disguised as discernment. And grace without truth isn’t really gracious. Rather, it is codependency disguised as love.
Some of us lean towards grace, but are afraid of speaking truth. We hate the discomfort. We want people to like us.
Others lean towards truth telling. We are justice oriented, committed to right and wrong. We feel it’s most important not to let an offense slide.
How do we live like Jesus in these complicated relationships?
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14
You know the TSA motto? “If you see something, say something.” Maybe it applies to relationships too…with a caveat.
Regardless of how you feel, if you see something positive in the other – anything “excellent or praiseworthy” call it out! Affirm! Cheer! Celebrate!
But… If you see/feel something negative or wounding? That’s trickier.
Maybe say something, but first sit with it in the presence of God. Ask yourself:
Why do I feel offended? Is this about me and some wound from my past, or is this about them?
What is my part in this offense? Owning that is part of the “say something” too.
If I talk to the other about this,is my motive one of blessing and bringing life (even if it is hard or uncomfortable), or do I just want to make myself feel better by telling them what a mean person they are?
What matters more to us—that we successfully put others in their place, or that we are known to love well? God have mercy on us if we do not love well because all that matters to us is being right and winning arguments.
scot sauls
4. Will this person be able to “hear” truth from me(as opposed to someone else), right now, and receive it in a way that is helpful? My spiritual director pointed out that timing is important. Look at Jesus’ words:
“I still have many things to tell you, but you can’t handle them now.”
John 16:12
Ohmygosh I have gotten this wrong sooooo many times! Know that as I post this, I’m stumbling along, asking Jesus to grow me in this area.
A friend of ours recently said, “You can say anything as long as you say it at the right time and in the right key.” Paul said it like this:
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4:6
What about you? You KNOW I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away! And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of joy and community connection, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)
I grew up in a classic TV “Leave it to Beaver” type home. No, my mom didn’t wear pearls while vacuuming, but life was predictable. You were kind to people and they were kind to you. You made mistakes, but you owned them, asked forgiveness, and it was given.
Life was simple. Safe. We were far from perfect (ahem), but I wasn’t aware of any drama growing up. My parents didn’t gossip, and they didn’t “ice” people out when there was conflict.
Boy did I get a wake-up call in adulthood! Relationships can be…complicated, right?
Someone criticizes us, or hurts our feelings…to our face, or worse, behind our back.
Several years ago, my husband John and I sat with a friend and colleague as he spewed criticism with such intensity and vitriol that it felt physical, like a bucket of bitterness was being dumped on our heads. John listened long and then said, “You’re right. We may not agree on everything, but here are two places where I think I made mistakes.” He proceeded to name them specifically.
After that, I waited for our friend to respond with some recognition of the possibility that perhaps his perspective was limited, or he also might be fallible. I hoped at least, for a recommitment to partnership in ministry, or acknowledgment of God’s redemptive power, but it never came.
Hard stuff to swallow. My journals reflect how much I have wrestled with what, if anything, to do in response.
Maybe you’ve been in a similar situation. What do you do?
It seems we often move to one of two extremes when someone offends us.
We lob “truth” grenades – hurling an explosive angry tirade towards the other (often in an email or even on social media), and then retreating to our bunker.
Or…
2. We stuff our resentment in the guise of “grace”, paste on a smile, and never address it.
Both may feel safe, but really? Maybe we’re just cowards either way.
In Scripture we’re told:
“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing….” 1 Peter 3:9
But what does that look like in real life?
Usually in complicated relationships there’s plenty of blame to go around. We tend to magnify the ways we feel mistreated and minimize our own responsibility. I know I do!
Instead, we need to both ask for forgiveness, and offer forgiveness where needed.
Forgiveness is a way of blessing the other. Forgiveness says ” I want God’s best for you regardless of what you’ve done to me.”
…reconciliation is an interpersonal process where you dialogue with the offender about what happened, exchange stories, express the hurt, listen for the remorse, and begin to reestablish trust. It’s a much more complicated, involved process that includes, but moves beyond forgiveness. Forgiveness is solo, reconciliation is a joint venture.
Ryan howes
Forgiveness is always possible, and so is redemption, but reconciliation is not. We are called to forgive no matter what, but if the other person is not willing to engage or own their part, you may not be able to reconcile the relationship. Even without reconciliation God can always, always redeem the pain though, if we look to Him to teach us through it.
What does it look like to choose blessing, to be “for” the other person whether they have been kind to you, or not?
Maybe, beyond forgiveness, it means praying for the other as authentically as you can.
Lord, I pray that You would pour out your love and mercy on friends who have hurt us. Help me to see the pain that may be motivating their words and actions. Help me to extend grace to them as You do to me.
What have you learned about navigating conflict? I’ll post more on this next week, but in the meantime, I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away! And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of joy and community, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)
Two well-written, engaging books I read over the holidays?
Winter Solstice by Rosamund Pilcher, about a variety of people whose lives intersect one Christmas at an old house in snowy northern Scotland. Loved it!
And Shepherds Abiding by Jan Karon. I love the Mitford books with all the characters – quirky, gentle, kind, hopeful. I had read this, but rereading it at Christmas was perfect.
I glimpse a small patch of bright fire red in the middle of still-green maple leaves as I bike around the lake near my house. It’s not cold yet, but there’s a change in the air. The mornings are cooler and it takes all day for the sun to warm the earth, barely struggling up to the high for the day, like a middle school boy trying to do chin-ups, then sliding quickly back down. Yellow buses lumber through the neighborhood and we notice that dusk tiptoes in earlier. I smile at “bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils”. I want to light candles, make soup, bake muffins. Things are changing.
Whether you’re back to packing lunches and driving carpools, or adjusting to a new baby in your home, or anticipating a change in employment, moving to a new city, or trying to accept a “new normal” without a loved-one, Fall marks a season of change. And even good change can be hard.
For us, we’re in a bittersweet season of “lasts” as we anticipate transitioning out of ministry at the church where we’ve served for almost 30 years – last kick-off Sunday, last Thanksgiving, last Christmas… We look forward, “adventurously expectant” (Romans 8:15 MSG) to what God has next for us, but still… It’s got me reflecting on how to “choose life”(Deuteronomy 13:19) while also in the midst of grieving that inevitably comes with change. Here are three practices I’m engaging in:
Honor traditions.
In seasons of change, traditions are comforting and reassuring. Throughout Scripture God institutes festivals and celebrations that are woven into the rhythm of the year. One of our traditions through the years as our daughters were growing up, was a “first day of school dinner” to which we invited two single friends on staff to join our family. They are like surrogate aunties for our girls. We always have homemade chicken pot pie and share “first day” highlights. Our girls are grown and living far away now, but their “aunties” are still here and so we gathered a couple weeks ago for the traditional dinner, sharing memories and laughter with thanksgiving. What traditions can you continue to embrace (or even create) during a season of change?
2. Reflect on relationships.
Change in location or circumstances often means change in relationships. Some people you’ve seen regularly will seemingly vanish from your everyday life. Transition is a good time to do a relational Examen. Reflect on the people in your life. Are there any relationships where there might be unresolved issues? Are there questions that you need to ask? Romans 12:18 is a good guide: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, liveatpeacewith everyone.”
Recently, God convicted me that there was a past relationship where I hadn’t sufficiently checked in to make sure there wasn’t unspoken pain. I felt like maybe I hadn’t adequately cared for this person in her time of transition, so I set up a coffee to ask how she felt. Is there someone you’ve been too busy to see in this new season? Might they be hurt?
3. Focus on the unchanging character of God.
Speak gratitude. Some things don’t change. God is faithful. What are the attributes of God, the glimpses of grace and goodness you can call out each day as a counter-weight to the circumstances which may feel out of control or stressful in seasons of change? If you have kids, can you share “God-sightings” around the dinner table? Or journal about them? Or have a texting agreement with a friend – each of you texting how you remember God’s attributes each day?
TheplansoftheLord stand firm forever, the purposes ofhis heart through all generations. Psalm 33:11
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
So, those are my thoughts on what helps when change seems to throw me a loop. What about YOU?? What would you share? If you receive this in email, just click on the title at the top and it will take you to the host site where you can leave a comment.
And…Just for a fun bonus, here’s the chicken pot pie recipe I use 🙂
Crust
1 box Pillsbury refrigerated pie crusts, softened as directed on box
Filling
1/3 cup butter
1/3 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 3/4 cups chicken broth (from 32-oz carton)
1/2 cup milk
2 1/2 cups shredded cooked chicken (I splurge on rotisserie chicken already deboned)
2 cups frozen mixed vegetables, thawed
** I usually cut down on either the broth or the milk, and I add about a Tablespoon of “Better than Boullion organic chicken base”
Can also add sautéed mushrooms.
Steps
1 Heat oven to 425°F. Make pie crusts as directed on box for Two-Crust Pie using 9-inch glass pie pan. (I pre-cook the bottom crust for about 10 minutes so it doesn’t get soggy with the filling)
2 In 2-quart saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Add onion; cook 2 minutes, stirring frequently, until tender. Stir in flour, salt and pepper until well blended. Gradually stir in broth and milk, cooking and stirring until bubbly and thickened.
3 Stir in chicken and mixed vegetables. Remove from heat. Spoon chicken mixture into crust-lined pan. Top with second crust; seal edge and flute. Cut slits in several places in top crust.
4 Bake 30 to 40 minutes or until crust is golden brown. During last 15 to 20 minutes of baking, cover crust edge with strips of foil to prevent excessive browning. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.
A friend of mine returns after a holiday visit with her in-laws. The relationship with her mother-in-law has been rough as a pot-hole-filled Minneapolis winter road from the start. Different interests, different expectations for the relationship, different cultures, different education…all of these are factors that leave these two both feeling like they are walking through a minefield whenever they are together.
They each go into time together armored up…wary. Over time, they have come to anticipate detonation rather than delight. The other becomes freeze-framed as a caricature of their worst self…
“She is so ____________”
“Why is she so sensitive about _________________”
“I always have to __________________.”
Whether an in-law, or colleague or friendship that has soured, most of us have a relationship like this in our lives. I do. And as I have been reflecting on my friend with the in-law, and me with a difficult friendship, this is where the Lord has led me.
Humility promotes healing.
To improve a strained relationship we need to remove our armor, examine our own failings, and offer two authentic words.
I mentioned a couple weeks ago that John and I had preached together on relationships. Specifically we talked about the baggage we bring that can weigh relationships down.
Years ago we were crossing the border between Israel and Egypt. Yeah, there was a tiny bit of tension…
Anyway, my suitcase went through the TSA scanner and we were waiting for the OK to go ahead, but a couple of soldiers kept staring at the X-ray screen, talking animatedly and using hand gestures that didn’t look particularly encouraging, especially when they called over reinforcements and then pointed at me saying “Come here!”
“What is THAT?” they asked pointing to a shape on the X-ray picture. Continue reading
I walk into a ballroom filled with 500 strangers and the one person I know – the person who invited me – is in charge and busy with the drama of last minute details.
I feel alone, conspicuous, and try to resist the urge to take out my cell phone and look busy.
At least I have an assigned table so I don’t have to deal with the awkwardness of asking permission to join a group, like a lost dog looking for a handout.
I gulp, sit down, and turn to the first person I see, stick out my hand and say, “Hi, I’m Laura. I don’t think we’ve met.”
Fast forward to more recently. I walk into a large home packed with 300 people, many who are friends I’m excited to talk to. There’s good food and laughter and meaningful conversation, but there are strangers here also – people I see out of the corner of my eye who are on the fringes, feeling uncomfortable and longing for someone to talk to.
I work hard to be present to the person I’m in conversation with, but the connector in me also desperately wants to “rescue” all those uncomfortable folks on the margins.
Introvert or extrovert, we’ve all been in situations where we are the happy Golden Retriever who’s friends with everyone, and the lonely mutt, hungry for a pat on the head.
In the past week we’ve gotten two letters from people who feel like they’re on the outside and can’t get in. So I’ve been thinking a lot about this.
Here are five things I think it’s important for us to remember:Continue reading
