I glimpse a small patch of bright fire red in the middle of still-green maple leaves as I bike around the lake near my house. It’s not cold yet, but there’s a change in the air. The mornings are cooler and it takes all day for the sun to warm the earth, barely struggling up to the high for the day, like a middle school boy trying to do chin-ups, then sliding quickly back down. Yellow buses lumber through the neighborhood and we notice that dusk tiptoes in earlier. I smile at “bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils”. I want to light candles, make soup, bake muffins. Things are changing.
Whether you’re back to packing lunches and driving carpools, or adjusting to a new baby in your home, or anticipating a change in employment, moving to a new city, or trying to accept a “new normal” without a loved-one, Fall marks a season of change. And even good change can be hard.
For us, we’re in a bittersweet season of “lasts” as we anticipate transitioning out of ministry at the church where we’ve served for almost 30 years – last kick-off Sunday, last Thanksgiving, last Christmas… We look forward, “adventurously expectant” (Romans 8:15 MSG) to what God has next for us, but still… It’s got me reflecting on how to “choose life”(Deuteronomy 13:19) while also in the midst of grieving that inevitably comes with change. Here are three practices I’m engaging in:
- Honor traditions.
In seasons of change, traditions are comforting and reassuring. Throughout Scripture God institutes festivals and celebrations that are woven into the rhythm of the year. One of our traditions through the years as our daughters were growing up, was a “first day of school dinner” to which we invited two single friends on staff to join our family. They are like surrogate aunties for our girls. We always have homemade chicken pot pie and share “first day” highlights. Our girls are grown and living far away now, but their “aunties” are still here and so we gathered a couple weeks ago for the traditional dinner, sharing memories and laughter with thanksgiving. What traditions can you continue to embrace (or even create) during a season of change?
2. Reflect on relationships.
Change in location or circumstances often means change in relationships. Some people you’ve seen regularly will seemingly vanish from your everyday life. Transition is a good time to do a relational Examen. Reflect on the people in your life. Are there any relationships where there might be unresolved issues? Are there questions that you need to ask? Romans 12:18 is a good guide: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Recently, God convicted me that there was a past relationship where I hadn’t sufficiently checked in to make sure there wasn’t unspoken pain. I felt like maybe I hadn’t adequately cared for this person in her time of transition, so I set up a coffee to ask how she felt. Is there someone you’ve been too busy to see in this new season? Might they be hurt?
3. Focus on the unchanging character of God.
Speak gratitude. Some things don’t change. God is faithful. What are the attributes of God, the glimpses of grace and goodness you can call out each day as a counter-weight to the circumstances which may feel out of control or stressful in seasons of change? If you have kids, can you share “God-sightings” around the dinner table? Or journal about them? Or have a texting agreement with a friend – each of you texting how you remember God’s attributes each day?
TheplansoftheLord stand firm forever, the purposes ofhis heart through all generations. Psalm 33:11
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
So, those are my thoughts on what helps when change seems to throw me a loop. What about YOU?? What would you share? If you receive this in email, just click on the title at the top and it will take you to the host site where you can leave a comment.
And…Just for a fun bonus, here’s the chicken pot pie recipe I use 🙂
Crust
Filling
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1 Heat oven to 425°F. Make pie crusts as directed on box for Two-Crust Pie using 9-inch glass pie pan. (I pre-cook the bottom crust for about 10 minutes so it doesn’t get soggy with the filling)
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2 In 2-quart saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Add onion; cook 2 minutes, stirring frequently, until tender. Stir in flour, salt and pepper until well blended. Gradually stir in broth and milk, cooking and stirring until bubbly and thickened.
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3 Stir in chicken and mixed vegetables. Remove from heat. Spoon chicken mixture into crust-lined pan. Top with second crust; seal edge and flute. Cut slits in several places in top crust.
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4 Bake 30 to 40 minutes or until crust is golden brown. During last 15 to 20 minutes of baking, cover crust edge with strips of foil to prevent excessive browning. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.
Thank you Laura for once again sharing your insight and wisdom. The camaraderie and shared experiences really do help this time of year, as we all begin to anticipate the Minnesota weather to come.
I miss seeing you and John. Cabin season is drawing to a close this season, and something I will look forward to, is seeing your two bright faces.
Also, thanks for the cozy fall recipe. I will definitely put it to use.
❤️ Tricia Kane
Thanks Tricia! I’ve missed seeing you too!
Beautiful post Laura; may your day be filled with blessings!
Thank you!
Laura,
I have been thinking about you and the mixed emotions you must have after such a long term of service to CPC. All of the ways you have mentored the moms and the young people in The Upper Room and The Table. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. We never use those two words enough and it is my commitment in 2018 to use those words at least once each day.
A piece of advice given me years ago was to take the time to walk through the living space I was leaving, with a friend, and say goodbye by talking about a memory in each room. I have used this every time I’ve left a house or condo and also when leaving a job or when a friend is moving away. You will be experiencing so many endings and so many memories — please be sure to walk through them with a close friend.
God bless your decisions and I can’t wait to hear about the new choices.
I am going to make chicken pot pie since I have broth and meat in the freezer from the last rotisserie chicken we had. I’ll use your recipe.
Nila
Thank you so much for your kind words, Nila. And I love your idea about going room to room remembering! Lovely!