Tag: discipline (Page 1 of 2)

A One Word Challenge for November

November 4, 2018 /

I burst into the house, arms full of groceries. “John, you’re never going to believe this!” I say to my husband who is watching a football game on T.V. “I had TWO, not one but TWO people thank me for my patience standing in lines today! Can you believe that???”

I am NOT a patient person! And I get impatient with myself for BEING impatient! But this is one of the fruits of the Spirit that has been my Word for the year. Although no-one will ever describe me as patient, there are tiny victories where I see the Holy Spirit exhibiting patience through me.

So here’s your One Word challenge for November: Celebrate even small wins!

Example: I HATE technology. It’s detail-y and unreliable and evil I’m convinced. As a person of little patience, it can drive me crazy when it doesn’t respond the way I want immediately. The other day I was preparing to speak and I had created a power point presentation to go with my talk. I opened it, but all it showed was a blank screen. I took a deep breath and tried opening it about 5 different ways. Then I went to a flash drive I thought I had saved it on, and tried that way. No luck.

Here’s where the win comes in. In the past I would have given up and either called my tech-savvy friend Heather to come over, or just scrapped it. Instead, this time I persevered and took it on as a creative problem-solving challenge (like a spy assignment!). Eventually I cracked the code and celebrated this small evidence of progress in the area of patience and perseverance – fruit of the Spirit, not fruit of Laura.

Share one of your small wins in the comments! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the website where you scroll down to leave a comment. If this is your first or second time to comment, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up immediately…it will! Looking forward to hearing from you!

How to Get Better at Anything (A One Word Challenge for October)

October 5, 2018 /

Getting better at anything…. ugh, it’s not easy, right?

It’s not easy, but it is simple. Jon Acuff

If you chose One Word for the year (or if you have any goal ever at all) this is for you.

If you want your kids to be better swimmers, you get them in the water, right?

If you want your kids to learn to read, you read with them, right?

If you want them to get better at social interaction maybe you take them to a party and coach them.

God, as our heavenly parent allows us to be put in situations that stretch the muscles that need stretching so they get stronger.

Have you experienced this?

My One Word is “Fruit”, and specifically the fruit of the Spirit that is PATIENCE! Even the way I write that word says how I feel about it.  Lord have mercy!

Perhaps because this is my word, the Lord seems to keep putting me in situations where I need to WAIT. Where I need PATIENCE. And He says, “Just do it.”

I had an important note I wanted to mail. I was a hard note, a risky note. I knelt to pray before I sent it. As I prayed about it, I heard “Wait.”

“Why?!” I asked. I racked my brain and couldn’t think of a possible reason why I should wait.  Maybe it wasn’t really God speaking to me, but on the off-chance that it was, I figured I’d better obey. It required patience and discipline to wait, which may have been God’s strategy all along, but it was sooooo hard! The next day I reread the note and noticed something I hadn’t before – one line that sounded a little passive-aggressive. Ugh. Ok, Lord, score one for “wait”.

In general, my husband and I are in a season of transition which does NOT suit my personality well – perfect for someone who needs to learn patience, amiright? I’m a “J” on the Meyers Briggs inventory which means I want to make a PLAN! I want to DO something! I want to to FIGURE IT OUT AND MOVE ON!” Recently I was waiting for my family to meet me for dinner while in D.C. and decided to do a prayer walk, asking God for a vision for a post-transition future. And again, I heard that stupid word from Him, “Wait.”

So my suggestion for a One Word challenge for October is to look at your life and notice where God has been allowing you to be put in situations where your One Word muscles are stretched. Talk to Him about those situations. As always, I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments. If you receive this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the website where you can post a comment. Don’t worry if your comment doesn’t appear immediately – the first couple of times you post I have to ok them.

I remain confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord (Psalm 27:13-14).

Catching up on One Word

September 6, 2018 /

Are any of you familiar with the Enneagram? Well if you are, I’m a “7” which means I get distracted by ALL OF THE THINGS! Especially in the summer when there’s just so much awesomeness to see and do! Even if you’re not a 7 or whatever, maybe you can relate.

Summer is distracting in the best way possible. Our routines change. We’re outside 24/7 here in Minnesota because, winter. There are lakes and bide rides and cookouts and travel and tennis and bonfires… And then there’s some other writing and speaking I’ve been doing. Anyway, that’s my excuse for neglecting the blog for awhile. I’m guessing you’ve been so busy you haven’t missed it.

So let’s catch up a little. I missed the One Word Prompt for July and August. How’s that going? Here’s a challenge for September:

  • Who is someone who models your word? In whom do you see joy or patience or fruitfulness or whatever?
  • Ask them out to coffee and talk to them about how they have seen God grow them in that area.

My One Word is “fruit” and more specifically “patience”. Fortunately I’m married to the most patient person I know. I realized I can be learning from him!  I asked him how he does it (apart from the work of the Holy Spirit) and he said years ago he recognized that he didn’t like seeing impatience in others and so he decided to basically “fake it” til he made it. He decided to act like a patient person until he actually felt patient. True patience grew in him over time.

!

How are you doing? What can you celebrate today? Maybe join Paul in saying;

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Philippians 3:14

A Catalytic One Word Prompt for May

May 1, 2018 /

Did you choose One Word for the year way back in January? Do you remember it?  I’m posting a One Word exercise at the beginning of each month that may help as we try to cooperate with God’s work in our life.  If you want to look at the first three prompts, look here , here and here

This past Sunday I preached on Jesus being tempted by Satan in the wilderness. There is so much in this passage, but the overwhelming message is that we each face our own wilderness – places of temptation. We are in a battle, but God has equipped us for it. The one offensive weapon He gives us is “the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God” (Ephesians 6:1). So… a question:

Are we effectively using God’s Word to grow in our One Word?

My idea for this month is to find a verse or passage to personalize and memorize that may help us in this journey of transformation. So my one word is “fruit”. I found these verses in Psalm 1 and have personalized them.

My delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and I meditate on his law day and night. I am
   like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season. Psalm 1:2-3

Confession: I work hard at it, but I’m a terrible memorizer. Can I share a resource that’s been hugely helpful to me? It’s called Scripture Typer   You can input the verses you want to memorize and it takes you through a process where you type the verse with it in front of you first, then with some words missing, and then from memory. It saves and tracks your progress. As a visual learner it’s been great for me. Check it out!

AND…I’d LOVE for you to share your verses in the comments below!

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A Catalytic “OneWord” Prompt for April

April 1, 2018 /

Well, it’s April and we’re 3 months into the new year. Can you even remember your One Word (IF you chose one!)?

I decided we need each other if we’re going to cooperate with God on His work in us, so I’m posting a One Word exercise at the beginning of each month that may help. If you want to look at the first two prompts, look here and here.

This month I was motivated by a post from Life Church on the power of personal declarations 

Craig Groeschel says,

“Our lives move in the direction of our strongest thoughts.” 

It’s kind of like the difference between looking at a flower bulb and saying “That’s an ugly mess”, and looking at it and saying “That is a picture of soon-to-be-beauty”.

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Why it’s Important to Make Your Bed

October 1, 2017 /

If you’ve read this blog for any time at all, you know I am captivated by the idea of “small things”. I’ve always thought of this in the sense of doing small acts of service, or giving words of encouragement – the widow of Zarephath showing up with her tiny bit of flour and oil, or Jesus choosing dropouts for disciples, or Namaan dipping in the water – things that seem counter to the world’s economy.

But recently I heard a sermon, and I’ve been thinking of Zechariah 4:10 differently. It brought to mind a story from a couple years ago when, during a commencement speech at the University of Texas, the commander of the forces that organized the raid to kill Osama bin Laden told the graduates:

The U.S. Navy Admiral went on to say:

“If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task, and another, and another. And by the end of the day that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. 

Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that the little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right. And if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made — that you made. And a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.” 

Instead of thinking about “small things” as stewardship or service, I’ve been thinking of it as the small commitments to disciplines that God can use to equip us or train us, having exponential impact.

Jeff Manion writes,

“Greatness is rarely achieved by doing great things, but by doing good things repeatedly” 

For Daniel, “making his bed” was the discipline of refusing to eat the royal food.

Daniel 1:8 “But Daniel resolved  not to defile himself with the royal food and wine…”

On the surface this discipline might just seem dumb. Who doesn’t like Lou Malnati’s pizza and Ben and Jerry’s ice cream? But this wasn’t just about being healthy. It was about not eating food that had been sacrificed to idols. For Daniel, this discipline reminded him who was the most powerful in his life and it wasn’t the king.

For David, “making his bed” was the discipline (long before Goliath) of faithfully remaining – guarding stinky, muddy sheep while his brothers were off doing the fun stuff fighting the bad guys. While pursuing this unseen discipline God was preparing him for more.

1 Samuel 17:37 The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”

My friends inspire me in this area of discipline.

For one who has just endured a painful break-up, “making his bed” has meant the discipline of not drinking at all for a time because he recognizes his temptation to numb with alcohol in this season.

For another friend, Mycah, “making her bed” is the discipline of Sabbathing.  And the thing that strikes me about her, is that it didn’t start with the “small thing” of Sabbath. It started with the smaller discipline of not using social media on Fridays, and then not working on Fridays, and then turning her phone off from Thursday night to Saturday morning.

Still another friend talked to me about “making her bed” as the discipline of gratitude in a season of hard circumstances.

We don’t “make our bed” in order to gain God’s attention or favor. He’s crazy about us, messy bed and all.  Grace, grace, and more grace is the bedrock of our relationship with Him! Instead, I like Doug Rumford’s definition of discipline:

“A means to develop soul memory for reflexive spiritual responsiveness.”

What are the small disciplines God wants to use to train you? Are there ways you see that physical discipline impacts spiritual discipline?

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

 

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The Discomfort of Lent

February 28, 2017 /

Today is Ash Wednesday, and as evidenced by my “Spring it Up” post on Monday, I’d really prefer to focus on the positive than face my sin and Jesus’ sacrifice.

I’ve shared before and before that I’m pretty much a failure at Lent. Like John says, I’m more of a Christmas than Easter girl. Could we skip over the Lent chapter please?  But there’s no rebirth without death, no salvation without facing my sin, so I continue to try to enter in, to talk to God. This is a repost from a few years ago…

As I mentioned the other day, we’re on vacation in Florida and the other morning we decided to attend an Ash Wednesday service at a lovely little Episcopal Chapel near where we’re staying.

I was on high alert from the moment we entered because I’m not Episcopalian and I was sure I was going to mess up and kneel at the wrong time, or not know the secret handshake that would get me communion, or ask forgiveness for my “debts” instead of my “trespasses”.

I took my cues from a girl across the aisle who clearly knew the liturgical ropes, bowing to the Bible when it went by and making the sign of the cross on her forehead, lips, and heart.  I was fascinated.

Like I said, I’m not Episcopalian and I’m not Catholic either, but by turns throughout my life I have been disdainful towards, curious about, and, in the past five years, enriched by many of  their practices.

When I was growing up all I knew was that the Catholic kids went to St. Petronille for church (named after a guy who must have been on the JV team of saints because I’ve never heard of him since and neither has my husband who did grow up Catholic).  They got to get out of school early on Wednesday to go to Catechism and got to eat fish on Friday.  We never had fish in my family.  So they were special and kind of mysterious to me.

On Wednesday, while I still struggled to own the words of liturgy in a way that was meaningful, I deeply appreciated the silence, the reverence, and the simplicity of a worship gathering full of Scripture.  These guys really do repentance big time!

Anyway, all this has got me thinking about Lent and the question many people ask, “What are you giving up for Lent?”

Confession:  As far as I can remember I’ve never given up anything for Lent.

It’s just not been a part of my spiritual tradition.  And frankly, when I have considered it I’ve always thought “Well I could give up Starbucks if I wanted to, but I don’t have to so I won’t.”  I am so not into sacrifice.  I realize this exposes one of the idols I daily pray to relinquish – the idol of comfort.  Ugh!

I know it’s easy to abuse this practice…make it a badge of honor, a “work of righteousness”, an end instead of a means.  But, I’ve been reading about it and I’m wondering if it might be a good spiritual practice for me, identifying with Jesus in some small way, this voluntary sacrifice stuff.  I’m cringing even as I write this.  I find myself thinking, “Could I pick something I like, but don’t like too much?  Kind of ease into this maybe?”

I want to know… What is experience with giving up something for Lent?  Does it help you to see your sin and become more like Jesus?

If you’re reading this on email or on your phone and want to comment, just click on the title and then scroll down!

Couple quotes on Lent…

“Lenten disciplines help us to abstain from the daily distractions that prevent us from seeing and naming reality correctly. As we allow some of the external trappings of our lives to be stripped away, we can return to a truer sense of ourselves and a deeper pursuit of God.” Ruth Haley Barton

“Like going with Jesus into the wilderness for forty days, that we might come face to ugly face with our enemy.  Our sacrificing that we might become more like Christ in His sacrifice.”  Ann Voskamp

 Check out another great article on Lent by Ruth Haley Barton here! 

3 Questions I’m Asking About Spiritual Disciplines

January 23, 2017 /

When Katy was about 5 years old she did something I thought deserved a “time out” so I told her to sit on the stairs. A few minutes later, I walked by and heard her mumbling something.

“What are you saying Katy?”

Scowling and with the most disgusted, put-upon tone she could muster she said, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, later on however it produces a harvest of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it!”*

So if “discipline” is unpleasant,  “spiritual disciplines” will be something I hate…a necessary burden to make me more like Jesus, right?  But then I read Matthew 11:28-30:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

And then there’s Matthew 15:8-9 where Jesus says:

“‘These people honor me with their lips,
    but their hearts are far from me.
They worship me in vain;
    their teachings are merely human rules.’”

A spiritual practice is not an end in itself – not something we do to get spiritual brownie points, but rather, training we choose, like training for a marathon, that bit by bit, stretches our spiritual muscles, draws us closer to God, and transforms us into people who are more like Him.

In Adele Calhoun’s Spiritual Disciplines Handbook,** she writes, “The simple truth is that wanting to keep company with Jesus has a staying power that ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts’ seldom have.”

So, three questions I’m asking myself:

  1. Where is my desire and longing? Where am I least like Jesus, but long to be?
  2. How do I want or need to be with God? (For example, I am an extrovert, so the discipline of silence and solitude has been stretching, but so fruitful)
  3. What spiritual practices might the Holy Spirit be inviting me to step into? As I do, they may be hard, but do they foster love and intimacy with the Lord, or resentment? Is this something I am doing with Jesus, or something that is ill-fitting and legalistic?

The post on fasting seems to have hit a nerve!  Some of you identified with my struggle, and some of you thanked me for being authentic, but you guys are way too shy about sharing your wisdom, insights and encouragement that could benefit everyone!  So many of you respond directly to me instead of posting in the comments. I thought you’d like to see some valuable thoughts that folks sent me or posted on FB:

I trained like you would for a marathon. I started out fasting from sugar . . . the next time I added bread . . . meat . . . vegetables . . . fruits . . . juice . . . until I could just drink water. One day a week. These days I am working on fasting from all electronic devices one day a week!

—

My husband and I have been regularly fasting over many years. It is challenging yes, but the benefits so outweigh the discomfort, that we actually enjoy it, especially the 21 day fast Daniel fast we do at the beginning of the year. The awareness of God, how He strengthens and enables us to go through is amazing.  Starting can be difficult but when it becomes a part of your life, it’s much easier. Drawing closer to God in this way is worth it.
—
Fasting? You have come to the right person!
When I became Orthodox I knew right away this was not something I was going to like. We fast on Wednesdays and Fridays — Wednesdays because it was the day Christ was betrayed and Friday because that was the day Christ was crucified. It is all done to remember our Lord . These are not strict fasts– only no meat or dairy but that is bad enough for a little fat person who loves her ice cream, yogurt, cheese and COOKIES. However I’ve discovered that Oreos are legal!
 
Seriously, I have grown to look forward to the discipline especially of the 40 day fasts of Nativity and Lent. Still only no meat or dairy for those. The process has drawn me closer to my Lord and His sacrifice. Easy? No but so worthwhile and beneficial to my spiritual growth. Forgive me for sounding”preachy” but the whole experience has has been an eye- opener for me and among other things has taught me that I am never too old to learn new helps in my spiritual life.
 
Disclaimers also come with these fasts– do not make anyone else uncomfortable by fasting ( as if invited out or there is no other food available)  Thinking of someone else always comes first.
 *Hebrews 12:11 which we had memorized as a family.
** Highly recommend this book! In it there is a chapter on fasting.
Some posts on this blog contain Amazon affiliate links – I receive a tiny commission on any purchases you make from links, but I’m not paid to recommend any particular item. I’d never include a link to anything I didn’t own or feel great about endorsing.

The Busy Burden and Badge

September 9, 2016 /

When you ask a friend, “How you doing?” I bet I can guess the answer you hear 99% of the time. It’s a version of the same response I get.

“I’m too busy!”

Busy has become both a burden and a badge of honor. We are stressed, but we are secretly kind of relieved that we are soooo in demand. We are soooo important to the world. We’re kind of a big deal.

An acquaintance of mine who’s also one of my favorite authors has a new book out that’s been getting a lot of traction. The gist of it is basically:

I was too busy. I learned to say “no”. It helps to have a lake cabin to retreat to.

You’re too busy. Learn to say “no”. It helps to have a lake cabin to retreat to.

Many, especially young women around me, find this simple message tremendously freeing and validating. I’m all for it and I’m thrilled for any resource that helps us become more grounded and Jesus-centered, but what are we actually doing about it? We don’t have to live by default or as cosmic victims. We all have choices. As Craig Groeschel says,

“We all have time for what we choose to have time for.”

What about if we asked some of these questions about our choices:

  • What am I filling my life with? How much of it is vital to who I want to become and who is most important to me?
  • How attached am I to my phone, to social media? What is it replacing?
  • Am I spending more time invested in relationships with the characters on Homeland than the people in my own home?
  • What is the most important thing I’ve been distracted from doing?

Adele Calhoun, in her chapter on Rest in Invitations from God, writes about soft addictions. These are behaviors that sap time, money, and energy just like work. She sites the statistic that 91% of us have soft addictions. They are the ways we overuse good things: food, caffeine, exercise TV, Internet, texting, Facebook, work, and shopping.

My friend James preached recently and talked about this as the stuff that pollutes the springs of Living Water Jesus promises us, clogging our lives like milfoil.

“Filling our blank spaces with every addiction, reduces our capacity to give and receive love.” he says. At risk are family dinners, face-to-face date nights, devotions, prayer walks…

Some of the things that keep us from lives that are peace and joy-filled are comparison, perfectionism, fear, and shame. Ironically, these are things that are reinforced more and more through social media, 24/7 news cycles, t.v. and ads.

Evidence of too-busy-too-preocupied-to-be-present-disease is present everywhere. Phones are just one distracting urgent-over-important choice among many.

When I see parents with kids in tow, absorbed on their smartphones, oblivious to their children. I want to snatch the phone and say “DON’T DO IT!! I know it doesn’t seem like it, but your time with them is so fleeting! God has entrusted them to you. You have stewardship of these precious ones for 18 years. Make the most of it! Talk to them! Listen to them!”

But it’s not just parents. It’s 20-something singles (and 50-somethings…ahem), gripped by FOMO, who hold their smartphone through a meal like a security blanket.

I’m not in a stressful busy season of life. I have margin. But I’ve lived to experience the truth a mentor of mine shared with me when I was in my twenties. She said:

“Yes, it’s especially hard to prioritize in seasons when you have little kids, or high stress jobs with long hours. However, in some ways it doesn’t get easier no matter what season you’re in. You will ALWAYS be tempted by distractions, and the Evil One knows exactly what is most tempting to derail you. How you spend your time is always a choice, so work hard RIGHT NOW to put good practices in place.”

When we listen more to the Lover of our souls than the Liar, we find grace and acceptance just as we are.

Then we’ll hear:

“I’m cheering you on as you serve Hamburger Helper and leave the carpet un-vacuumed because I love it when you choose people over ‘perfection'”

“The world won’t end if a few emails go unanswered for 12 hours. I’m delighted that you chose to walk with Me and talk to Me tonight.”

“It’s ok if you don’t know what Donald Trump said today, you listened fully to your 2 year old’s excited rambling about something crucially important to him.”

“Way to go. A phone-free walk outside with a friend who shares your heart is better for your soul than scrolling FB feeds for a virtual community buzz.”

We’re in this together! Let’s encourage each other today as we try to choose what’s most important to our souls.

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After I finished writing this, I happened to listen to a great podcast by Craig Groeschel called “I choose Important over Urgent”. I highly recommend it if you want more on this subject!

 

Two Ways to Lean Into Your One Word

January 9, 2015 /

My friend Nancy has like the most awesome, toned arms of anyone I know.  And she’s my age which, let’s just say isn’t twenty-something.  When she is on stage sometimes it’s hard to concentrate on what she’s saying because I’m wondering what I’d have to do to get those well-sculpted arms in place of my soft, wobbly ones that cause me to shy away from anything sleeveless.

I know, it sounds a little whacky, but tell me you’ve never coveted a specific body part of someone else!  Anyway, stick with me here.

It’s not magic.  Nancy didn’t drift into arm amazingness. Just like people don’t drift into spiritual maturity.  Just like you and I aren’t going to drift into our One Word for 2015.

Change is a greedy, stubborn varmint.  He requires intention and attention if he’s gonna come through for us with sculpted arms, or growth in character.

I told you about my One Word fail last year, so I’m doing things a little differently this year with my One Word – STRONGER. Continue reading

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