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I ran into a 23-year-old friend the other day and asked how she was doing. “Being in your twenties is…awkward!” she answered. “All these questions about what you’re going to do with your life…who you’ll be, where you’ll go…what to say ‘yes’ to.”
That same day I had coffee with a fifty-something friend who said her son is wrestling with some of the same unsettledness, and she herself is in a time of transition that has raised questions about God’s direction. She said, “I thought by this age I’d have it figured out and be cruising along!”
24 hours earlier I had had dinner with a thirty-something friend who said, “My life looks a lot different now than I thought it would.”
Each person’s situation was different, but there was a common theme. If I were God (a job that’s apparently already taken) I’d give detailed instructions like,
“Susan, I want you to move to 673 Elm St., Provo Utah, join the Church-of-People-on-the-Right-Track, take the job with State Farm, (not General Mills), and order the tomato soup at Panera for lunch.”
And sometimes in the Bible God does that, like when God gives Ananias specific instructions (Acts 9:11) to go to the house of Judas on the street called Straight, (Love it!), but often it’s a bit fuzzier, like in Acts 15:28 where Paul writes, “It seemed good to us and the Holy Spirit…”
When I’m in seasons of discernment and transition, the three words that I feel like God often whispers to me are “Open your hands”
- Open your hands…to release your plans in favor of God’s. Acknowledge your dreams, but don’t clutch them. Release them to God to change, add, refine…
- Open your hands…to receive counsel from wise advisors who know you well, but don’t clutch it either.
- Open your hands…to use what God has put in them, whether that seems like saying “yes” to dramatic invitations, or something that seems very small and quiet. Respond to what God has put right in front of you.
That’s just me. What has been helpful to you when making life decisions? What have you sensed God whispering to you?
If you want some more thoughts on this, take a look at this post by Steven Furtick: http://www.stevenfurtick.com/personal-development/obedience-creates-opportunity/
Here’s an email one of our daughters sent to friends recently, asking them to save October 15th. Why that day? Here’s what she wrote:
“Because it’s magical. Because it’s the day of my birth! And I demand that you all celebrate with me. I don’t have an exact plan yet, but you can assume that it will involve you all, celebratory beverages, and you all telling me how glad you are that I was born. “
I love it! Now of course she was writing that tongue in cheek. She’s not at all arrogant, but unlike most of us, she does have a pretty healthy self-image.
I, on the other hand, am more like the rest of the world, and deal with insecurity in varying degrees depending on how many cookies I’ve eaten, a song I heard on the radio, and the barometric pressure that day.
I LOVE Mark Batterson’s thought: “Our focus determines our reality.”
Am I focusing on ME and how I stack up compared to everyone else? Or am I focusing on GOD and the truth that I am a beloved child of His and He delights in me?
That’s is why this little exercise I read in a Beth Moore study has been really helpful. Thought I’d share it for Spirit Stretch Friday.
Personalize Romans 8 by filling in the blanks.
“I am convinced that neither _____________nor _________________will be able to separate [me] from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Your first thought might be, “Oh that’s nice”, but really think about it! What would YOU put in the blanks today? Is it a person who’s been critical, a loss, a failure, ?
Do you struggle with insecurity? How do you deal with it? If you’re a man is it different for you?
I was sitting in church on the aisle on a Sunday awhile ago, feeling alone and out of place. Have you ever felt that way? (I figure if I have, I’m not the only one!). The sanctuary was darkened for a video when I felt a strong hand squeeze my shoulder from behind. I turned to see a dear friend who I love and hadn’t seen in a long time. I jumped up to give him a quick hug. I whispered, “I’ve missed you so much.” But no words were necessary. In that small moment, that small gesture, it was like Jesus was reminding me, “I see you. I care, and I’m glad you’re here.”
Isn’t this part of what it means to be brothers and sisters in the body of Christ? Showing up and being the visible reminder of God’s invisible presence? Although there are times when all of us want to be anonymous, what struck me was the power of being noticed. How many people do I walk by each day who are feeling left out and need to be reminded that they matter? That God sees them and cares?
A mentor of ours said once that a leader is someone who walks more slowly through a room, noticing God and others rather than hurrying to the next task.
Have you been in a situation when a hug from someone felt like a hug from Jesus?
We were in D.C. a couple weeks ago visiting our daughters, Katy and Maggie. One morning I was at a Starbucks waiting for Maggie. I was sitting at a table outside at the busy intersection of 15th and K. Sitting next to me was an African American man. Here’s what went through my mind…
He looks like he might be homeless.
We usually keep McDonald’s gift cards to give to people in need who we might meet, but I don’t have any with me right now.
I do have my CVS Pharmacy Frequent customer card…
He has a multiple plastic bags and he’s drinking milk from a half-gallon jug.
Maybe he’s not homeless! (maybe I have no responsibility)
He has a scraggly beard, but his clothes don’t look dirty.
He’s bought a drink from Starbucks and he’s not asking for money or anything, just eating his breakfast.
D.C. has one of the highest crime rate in the nation – lots of angry people. What if I say “Hi” and he gets angry, pulls out a gun, and shoots me!? (ok, maybe I have a bit of an imagination)
I figure my choices are:
A. Pray fervently that he’s an eccentric millionaire and will finish his breakfast and go to go to his fancy office.
B. Move to a different table where I can do my devotions and read about Jesus without having to worry about homeless people.
C. Leave Starbucks, try to find a McDonald’s, come back, and “accidentally” drop a gift card along with a nice Bible verse on his table as I walk by.
D. Say, “Hi, my name is Laura, are you homeless (or a psychopath and if so please don’t shoot me)?”
Maggie and a friend arrived and the man left, but I continued to think about him the rest of the day. As I reflected on what Jesus would have done, what struck me was that it wouldn’t have mattered whether the person was homeless or a housewife, a drug-addict or a demagogue.
I think He would have made a point of acknowledging them – of honoring the person by looking them in the eye with love and respect, and if nothing else, I think He would have greeted them, because who doesn’t want to feel noticed and welcomed?
I think the bottom line is that Jesus would always turn TOWARDS and not away. (I LOVE Mark 10:21 when Jesus is with the rich young ruler – “Jesus looked at him and loved him.”)
So who am I turning away from today? Or who am I too self-conscious or self-absorbed to speak to? Where is Jesus in all of this?
Have you ever been in a situation like this where you weren’t sure what Jesus would do? Or you knew what He’d do, but it felt too uncomfortable for you?
I hate scales. They’re so….ungracious.
Like many people, I struggle with my weight. Ten pounds up, ten pounds down, ten pounds up… (If you don’t struggle with your weight I’m not sure we can be friends). A discipline that’s become really important for me is weighing in.
A few years ago I heard a podcast where the speaker did something fascinating. He asked 3 brave (foolish?) people to come up on stage and tell the congregation what they thought they weighed. Then he pulled out a scale. He asked each of them to get on the scale one at a time, and, you guessed it, each of them had said they weighed significantly less than they actually did. The scale was the truth-teller.
That gave me an idea. The discipline of weighing in makes me aware of how I might need to adjust my eating or exercise. It’s pretty stupid if I make myself face the truth and then don’t do anything about it. So just recently I decided this physical discipline might be combined with a spiritual discipline.
This may sound really cheesy, but awhile ago I wrote these verses on a card and put them on the scale:
James 2:22-25 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Those who listen to the word but do not do what it says are like people who look at their faces in a mirror and, after looking at themselves, go away and immediately forget what they look like. But those who look intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continue in it – not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it – they will be blessed in what they do.
So the other day I REALLY didn’t want to get on the scale. I KNEW I was not going to like what I’d see because the day before I had eaten more than I should. But I made myself get on the scale anyway and you know what? I DIDN’T like what the scale said, but in addition, as I thought about the verse on the scale, God brought to mind something else I really didn’t want to face – someone I needed to go to and ask forgiveness. I needed to DO something.
The great thing was that when I did have the hard conversation I needed to have, the person was extremely gracious and I felt like it honored God and brought our relationship to a healthier place.
That scale and that verse were reminders that part of growing in discipleship is facing some things we don’t want to face and then doing something about it.
Maybe this practice helps stretch the spiritual muscles of examination, obedience, humility… What do you think? Is there a discipline in your life that helps you face the truth?
Confession #1: I used to look down my nose at women who played tennis, deciding they were snotty rich suburban women who had nothing more meaningful to do with their time.
Confession # 2: I started playing tennis this summer and am on a team of the worst players in the universe. (http://awakemysoulblog.com/2011/10/03/youve-got-this/)
Confession #3: I’m enjoying it. I think it brings balance to my life. And I think I also have a meaningful life outside of this sport, so either I was wrong before, or I’m deluded now and I really am a loser.
All that was prelude to Confession #4: Today I lost a match that I thought was totally unfair, and I was totally ticked, and it was really hard to be Jesusy about it.
Why was it unfair you ask? Because I was playing against SERENA WILLIAMS in the “worst-players-in-the-universe-league”!!! Clearly Serena got confused and went to the wrong court!
Ok, maybe it wasn’t ACTUALLY Serena Williams, but it might as well have been. The girl I played belonged in this league about as much as Serena would have. She was a ringer and she took this deal veeeerrrry seriously. Like U.S. Open seriously. It was a grave injustice.
This made it hard:
- not to get killed as tennis balls rocketed towards me at 200 m.p.h.
- to pray “Come Holy Spirit, help me to be gracious” WHILE I was dodging the balls coming at me, AND saying “Great shot” repeatedly through gritted teeth.
It struck me as quite bizarre that God might be using this stupid tennis match to actually form something in me…
- To submit to something that felt unfair.
- To put my pride to death and resist reporting her to the highest authorities in tennis world for public censure on the nightly news.
- To humble myself to listen receptively when she told me after the match all the mistakes I had made.
- To genuinely affirm the talent I saw in her. (Lest you think I handled this with Mother Theresa-like poise and grace, I did call and rant to my daughter Maggie after the match)
- Probably most important, it prompted me to do something for people who are TRULY experiencing injustice by taking action in the International Justice Mission’s campaign to stop Human Trafficking. http://www.ijm.org/justice-campaigns/tvpra (You can too! If I can do this ANYONE can!)
When have you gotten angry at something that hasn’t been fair? Is it something you’ve challenged, or covered with grace?
I think both are appropriate in different situations. How do you determine when to do which?
“So how are you and what are you doing these days?” A seemingly simple and innocent question from a friend I hadn’t seen in a few months.
I want to yell, “DOING??? What am I DOING?? I’m Road Runner running straight off the cliff and not realizing it! I’m Charlie Brown constantly falling flat trying to kick the football! I’m like the psycho squirrels in my back yard, frantically spinning around, more than a little confused about which way is up!”
Fortunately I catch myself, realizing this might not be an appropriate answer, especially since we’re in the middle of a crowded Starbucks and I’d probably start crying and that would be ugly.
Instead I smile and answer confidently, “Oh everything’s good! I’m doing a variety of ministry stuff…Thankful for family and friends…” Which is true as far as it goes, but certainly gives a different impression than my first answer!
Have you ever felt like everyone else has their life together with a master plan complete with long and short range goals and is right on track doing meaningful work on the highway to success?
I was thinking about this as I rode through my neighborhood the other day. I love my neighborhood. It’s kind of a cross between Mayberry (remember the old Andy Griffith show?) and Stars Hollow (remember Gilmore Girls?).
Every morning very early, I either walk (when the snow is blowing), or ride my bike down Glenhurst, over to Huntington, right on 38th, left on Joppa to 39th to Raleigh to Starbucks where Cory starts my drink before I’m in the door.
I ride past Stanley the dog (named after the Hockey cup), who is always sitting outside keeping watch over his corner of the world,
neighbors sitting on their front porch with coffee, the house with the picket fence , the one with the window boxes that will soon be heaped with pumpkins and gourds as the season changes…
If I ride through my neighborhood in the humid summer evenings I hear dads mowing lawns, kids out playing on a slip and slide, parents on Adirondack chairs chatting over the squeals of their kids. As dusk falls I love the smell of hamburgers on the grill, and seeing into a lighted house where a young girl practices piano in a bay window.
How much is my neighborhood like me? Like you?
What’s going on behind the Capra-esque (It’s a Wonderful Life reference 🙂 ) façade? Is it as good as it looks or is there loneliness, and despair lurking?
Are there people just waiting for someone to ask “How are you doing, really?
Recently I had to write a profile describing who I am and what I do for a class I’m involved in. As I read over it, it was like my neighborhood.
Everything I wrote was true (like the answer I gave my friend in Starbucks), but it gave a picture of a totally together woman with an idyllic life and that is so not true of me! It didn’t reflect any of the brokenness, or insecurity or pain that I wrestle with. Now here’s the thing…I was writing this for a small group of 5 who are in ministry. This was a safe and appropriate place to share a little more deeply and authentically. If I had, would the others have breathed a deep sigh of relief and jumped into a more meaningful life-giving dialog?
Do you ever feel like everyone else has it all together?
Are there places you appropriately and honestly share who you are or are you always in “image management” mode?
Do you have a friend that you might call today and ask, “How are you doing? Really?”
Last week I wrote that I’m going to try suggesting a creative spiritual experiment or resource on Fridays. If you’re like me it’s easy to read stuff like this and say, “Oh, great idea.” but not do anything about it. My hope is that a bunch of us in this blogommunity (yes, I made up that word) might say, “YES! I’m in!” and give these things a shot over the weekend. I asked Katy and Maggie for an idea of what to call this and Maggie suggested “Spirit Stretch Fridays”. But if any of you have other ideas share!! Put ’em in the comments!
Here in Minnesota we have had the most delightfully bizarre week of summer weather right smack dab in October when we’re usually worried about when the first snowfall is going to come. I’ve written before (rather obnoxiously) about how I’m sure Jesus is just like me in my preference for being outdoors. http://laurac-payingattention.blogspot.com/2011/08/jesus-is-just-like-me.html
But in some ways I really do think getting outside and paying attention can be a spiritual discipline for a bunch of reasons:
– If spiritual exercises are about stretching spiritual muscles, this one stretches our humility, praise, and perspective muscles because we stop doing work and focus on something other than ourselves.
– It right-sizes our problems. It’s a reminder that regardless of anything else, God is in control – the seasons will change, the leaves will fall, the snow will blow, everything will die, and then, miraculously, (especially in Minnesota it seems!) He’ll do it all over again! Spring WILL arrive again and the earth will be reborn.
– It right-sizes US. It’s a reminder of the power and majesty of God. How big He is and how small I am. The world will not stop spinning if I take time out to rest.
– It prompts us to do what we were made to do! “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.” Psalm 150:6
I love this quote:
Every human being is “formed to be a spectator of the created world and given eyes that he might be led to its Author by contemplating so beautiful a representation.” John Calvin
So maybe get outside and walk or ride or play this weekend! Here’s a little of what I’ve been seeing…
Psalm 73:18 Praise be to the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does marvelous deeds. Praise be to His glorious name forever; may the whole earth be filled with His glory.
If you want to see some REALLY spectacular pictures, check out Anne Voskamp’s :
And don’t forget to post ideas you have!
We have many gorgeous autumnal days here in Minnesota. (Autumnal is a word my husband likes to use and once made the mistake of trying to use it in a compliment, as in “Honey you look really autumnal.” Note to husbands: Do not try this) Anyway, awhile ago I was taking a walk around a lake. I stopped to adjust my ipod and a young woman power-walked past me. I smiled and fell in walking briskly about 30 yards behind her.
She anxiously looked over her shoulder at me and tried to speed up, swinging her arms more vigorously. It was apparent that it was very important to her to walk faster than me.
It became comical as we went around a wooded bend. Thinking she was obscured from my view for a minute, she glanced back, and jogged a few yards to get farther ahead.
Since she had her back to me and couldn’t see me unless she turned around, I mischievously jogged a few yards on the straightaway to close the gap and freak her out.
We went on like this until I came upon a stunningly beautiful maple tree in a hundred shades of turning…green to gold, to orange to red… I stopped in my tracks. I looked ahead at the girl who was “running her race” in relation to me and thought how often this is a picture of my spiritual journey.
Both of us were more concerned about the progress of the other than of truly being present in the moment, attentive to what God had for us as individuals. I could keep walking, trying to keep pace with the girl in front of me, or I could choose to turn aside to this tree, as Moses to his burning bush and say, “What do you have for me, Lord?”
It brought to mind Jesus’ conversation with Peter in John 21. Jesus tells Peter about his future and commands him to follow, but Peter looks at the other disciple, John and says, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus’ response is basically, “Don’t worry about my plans for him. That shouldn’t matter to you. Just YOU follow me.”
Do YOU ever get caught up in comparison and striving to run a race that isn’t yours? What do you do about it??
Hi, I’m Laura – a Jesus-follower who gets it wrong a lot, but is still beloved just like you.
