Dear Comparison,
I’ve decided it’s time. I’m breaking up with you.
No, it’s not me, it’s you.
And no, we can’t still be friends.
You seduced me by whispering sweet nothings in my ear about “better than”. You flattered me with “friends”, “followers” or awards, “likes”, “favorites”…
But you’re a two-faced lover and now I see the real you. Those sweet whispers easily morph into ugly taunts of “not as _____ as”. Subtle accusations that lead to envy and discouragement and an unhealthy soul.
It’s tempting to stay in relationship with you because some days…oh you make me feel so good. So…superior! You flatter me with “better than”. But for me to feel “better” means that someone else must feel “worse”.
And while I know we live in the real world of hierarchies, I want to focus on the truth that really we’re all just “different”. Uniquely beautiful and gifted and valuable.
I know I’ll be tempted to take your calls again. I’ll be tempted to believe your press when it feeds my pride. But, Comparison, really I’m never as good as you say, or as bad as you might lead me to believe.
I just am.
I just am. Truly beloved and valued by One.
You may try to stalk me like vigilant paparazzi, but I’m getting a restraining order. I will silence any whispers that echo your taunts. I will turn off, unfollow, or unsubscribe those voices that reinforce the “-er’s” (as in prettier, smarter, creative-er, successful-er, funnier) – the love language of you, Comparison.
But I won’t just to undo. I vow instead to do. To turn to the life-giving voices and relationships that point me back to the One true lover of my soul.
My NCV (New Crosby version) of Romans 8:35ff reads:
Who shall separate us from the love of Jesus? Can “less than” or “singleness” or “not as good as” or “infertile”?
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither air-brushed photos, or top 10 lists, or “below the grading curve”, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Breaking up is hard to do, Comparison, but don’t call. I quit you.
Surely it is hard to do but such a communication would save anyone future troubles! It is clear and to the point! Thank you for sharing Laura. I picked my lessons.
Thank you, Richard! Cheering you on from across the ocean!
This message should be on banners and shouted from the rooftop!! Comparison has a way of bringing us down and immobilising us. Thank you for the reminder to slam the door when comparison comes calling…slam dunk!
So hard, eh, my Canadian friend?! With you on the journey!
This was AWESOME, Laura!! I can’t wait to share it with my co-workers, family and friends! You are so clever!!! Thank you!