Recently we were traveling in England and Scotland. During a two-week timeframe we missed one train, and got off of another train at the (WAY) wrong stop. This was John’s fault, but I wasn’t paying attention and blindly followed him onto the rainy platform in “the middle of nowhere”. I also walked 2 miles in the exact wrong direction trying to find a town that was as illusive as Brigadoon.

We have a saying in our family: Often wrong, never uncertain!

Bottom line: Sometimes we don’t end up where we thought we’d be.

This past week a close friend died suddenly, leaving his family reeling with a new normal they never expected. They feel “in the middle of nowhere.”

Maybe you too are where you never thought you’d be. Maybe you’re

  • Getting intervention help for a child who is not developing at the rate doctors say he or she should.
  • Going to therapy for a marriage in crisis instead of planning an anniversary celebration.
  • Struggling with more month than money and wondering if you need to get a job outside the home.
  • Grieving a miscarriage or planning a funeral instead of a birth or birthday party.

Our travel misadventures got me thinking about what we learned there that can be applied to the many “plan b” life situations we find ourselves in.

  1. Ask for help. People are predisposed to want to help you get where you’re going, to encourage with “Yes! Just a bit further. This is the right road!” or to say, “You’re not too far off.” or “The next train will be along shortly.

A friend found out 2 weeks before her fourth child was born that he would have Downs Syndrome and would probably need heart surgery. This was an unexpected shock. Life changed drastically, but she reached out to others around the country who are parents of kids with special needs and got both advice and invaluable support. We need to remember that God has given us companions for the journey.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT

2. Be where your feet are. Look around you. Be honest about the frustration of where you are, but also ask “What is there to be thankful for?” Right now. Right here.

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

1st Thessalonians 5:18 NLT

3. Learn from the detour. Who are you becoming? How might this path be shaping you? Might God be teaching you dependence on Him, patience, grace?

 Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory.

1 Peter 1:7 MSG

4. Live “top down”. When we live “bottom up” we start with our circumstances and project onto God. If our circumstances are good, God must be good. If our circumstances are bad, God must be bad. When we live “top down” we start with the character of God and interpret our circumstances in light of that truth.

We trust that He sees what we don’t see. He knows what we don’t know. He is good no matter what. He is good at being God.

My help and glory are in God
    —granite-strength and safe-harbor-God—
So trust him absolutely, people;
    lay your lives on the line for him.
    God is a safe place to be.

Psalm 62:7-8 MSG

Are you feeling like you’re “in the middle of nowhere”? These 4 suggestions may not make the loss less painful, but which might help?

As always, I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away! And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of inspiration, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

Also, check out this free spiritual reflection exercise to help you thrive in a Plan B life! Click here: http://eepurl.com/drwvSv