Tag: transformation (Page 1 of 2)

The Biggest Mystery of my Life with God

August 5, 2019 /

Prayer. I do it. I grow from it. I can’t “figure it out”.

Prayer is the biggest mystery of my life with God.

  • If God knows everything, why take the time to tell Him what’s on my mind?
  • If God knows what’s best and I desire His will above all, what does it matter what I want?
  • I have complete faith that God can do anything, but who am I to pray with the assurance that He will do what I ask?
  • Why did God choose to miraculously heal my friend, but not my brother even though the same body of believers were praying with faith for both?

Can you relate?

In the end, the reason I pray is to draw close to God and bring my will in line with His. We want to develop an

…attentiveness to God that is so intimate that over time we develop an intuitive sense of God’s heart and purpose in any given moment. We become familiar with God’s voice—the tone, quality, and content—just as we become familiar with the voice of a human being we know well. 

Ruth Hayley Barton

So anyway, my small group decided to read “Letters to Malcom, Chiefly on Prayer” this summer.

Let me just say that it is…deep. It may not be the book we should have picked to make everything simple and clear. This was our text chain last week.

Although prayer is still a mystery, experimenting and sharing our experiences has been helpful. So I thought I’d invite you to virtually join our little band of merry women.

3 Things We’ve identified that we’re not good at (there’s a lot more, but let’s start with 3):

  1. Listening is part of prayer and we’re not good at it.
  2. We’re also not good at confession.
  3. Integrating prayer into the ordinary moments of daily life is hard and we’re not good at that either.

What about you?

Here’s a practice that we did together:

Remember the acronym ACTS? Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication? Well, what if we added L – listening? (My friend said now we’ll pronounce it “axle”). Here’s an exercise we tried together:

Close your eyes and think of one specific prayer concern.

Start by offering prayers of adoration – How is God’s character sufficient for this specific concern?

Next, consider confession related to your prayer burden. Maybe you need to confess that you don’t have faith for this concern, or that you have been striving and trying to control the outcome, or that you have made an idol of the desire in your heart.

Thanksgiving. What can you thank God for in the waiting? What has He already provided?

Supplication. Just lay out what is on your heart.

Listening. Be still for several minutes. Don’t try to manufacture anything. I’ve found that often God brings to mind an image or vision in these moments, but sometimes He’ll bring Scripture to mind. Other times, crickets. Nothing. But that’s ok. You are putting yourself in God’s presence.

 Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear. 

C.S. Lewis

I was praying for a friend’s marriage, so here’s my example:

Lord, you are our Creator. You made us for relationship with you and each other. I praise you for your good plans for us. I praise you for your wisdom that you make available to us. You are our Protector, a shield around us.

I confess that I often worry about my friends’ marriage and strive to manage or give advice instead of entrusting them to you. Forgive me for trying to do your job in this and other situations.

Thank you Father, that my friends know you as their Lord and Savior. Thank you that they have healthy role models. Thank you that they are committed to you and each other. Thank you that you have provided them with resources for counsel.

Lord, I pray that you would put a hedge of protection around this couple. Don’t let the devil get a foothold in their marriage. Guard them from temptation and self-centeredness. Draw them to yourself. Please bring greater understanding and love in their relationship. In the strong name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

As I was silent and “listened”, the Lord didn’t bring words to mind, but instead an image of Him gently tucking my friends in with love.

How do you feel about prayer?

I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away!

And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of inspiration, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

Good Talk!

June 8, 2019 /

Look at you! You trivialize religion, turn spiritual conversation into empty gossip.

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The other night we went out with some close friends we hadn’t seen in awhile. It was a fun dinner of catching up, but afterwards I felt an air of regret. It seemed like our conversation had been mostly about things and people – not malicious gossip, but certainly not the kind of dialog that is inspiring or high-minded.

A mentor of ours used to quote Eleanor Roosevelt:

Great Minds Discuss Ideas; Average Minds Discuss Events; Small Minds Discuss People.

Not every conversation has to be deep and meaningful. We can just “be” together and laugh, but I also don’t want to miss out on what God might have for us to gain in community.

Reflecting on our evening with friends, I compared it in my mind to several other meals we have had over the past six months.

There are people in our life who don’t press for control, but are aware of opportunities to bring richness to our conversations that we can easily miss.

A colleague once said, “There’s a difference between being mechanical or legalistic and being intentional.”

Last month we were with some dear friends for a weekend in England. At our first meal together, the husband said, “On Sunday night I don’t want to look back and think, ‘Oh what an opportunity we missed!‘ So let’s make our conversations count.”

At each subsequent meal, he asked each of us to bring up different things on our hearts that we are wrestling with. As a result we talked about the difficulty and messiness of discipleship, change, identity, parenting, humility, leadership, accountability, culture, theology, sexuality and prayer! Our friendship was strengthened and we were enriched.

Other friends, think carefully about a question to throw out in a group. One mentor of ours at a dinner for 10 people around a table asked if any of us knew what the work “bespoke” meant. He had read it recently in a book and discovered that it means “special or unique”. He went on to ask each of us around the table what “bespoke” gift we had received in the past year. Our faith was strengthened as we listened to special gifts of God’s grace and faithfulness in the lives of our friends.

Another friend, who opens his home to young men every Tuesday night, is careful to create a safe environment and prioritize authenticity and acceptance. Recently he asked, “Are you hopeful? Why? Be honest.”

Questions and intention can keep our marriages fresh too. Recently I heard about some weekly questions that had been adapted from those in the book, A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken and posted them on Instagram.⠀

I tweaked them some more, and John and I have started talking about them every Sunday. Weird to start after 35 years of marriage? Maybe a little, but worth it! Give it a try or make up your own.

So this is what I’ve been thinking about…I don’t want to make conversation contrived or bring intensity to every interaction, but I also don’t want to default to the trivial and miss out on the richness of community discussion.

What if we took a minute before going into a social situation to prayerfully consider a question to pose if the timing is right? Here are some I’ve thought of:

  • What’s been a life-giving experience for you lately?
  • What keeps you awake at night?
  • What’s one prayer you have for your kids? For the church?

What would you add?

As always, I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away! And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of inspiration, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

colossians 4:6

A Blessing for The New Year

December 27, 2018 /

I sit and stare at my computer screen after triaging emails that have accumulated over the holidays. I’m tired. I bet you are too.

We’ve baked the special cookies and wrapped presents we hoped would delight. We’ve tried to be present to Jesus and kept traditions and navigated family drama, and made time to sit by the Christmas tree.

We’ve tried to remember to breathe. 

But now it’s the end of the year and we’re tired, and as we consider whether to make resolutions, we’re tempted to think of all the things that haven’t happened in 2018 – the pregnancy, the boyfriend, the job, the healing…

We think of the ways we’ve messed up – the rejection letter, or the One Word that we haven’t seen fleshed out in our life perfectly. 

“I am learning ever so slowly that maturity and a growing faith show up not in our ability to stand up straight and blameless, but in our willingness to turn, again and again, back to the face of God. Not once, but a thousand times once and then a thousand times more.” 

Emily P. Freeman

Me too.

It’s hard to be both honest and hopeful. We need to be gentle with ourselves and remember our hope isn’t in a resolution made or broken, but in God who is good.

And so, we trust…

“…that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

that “we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” 2 Cor. 3:18 NASB

As 2018 comes to a close, I’d like to offer a blessing:

This day, may you be assured that you are seen and loved as is, not “only if”. May you know that your proud Papa is cheering you on, beaming at the small, teetering steps you’ve taken in 2018. May you hear Him singing over you, see Him delighting in you, and have faith to let Him take your hand and walk you into a new year. Amen.

A Selfie Gospel?

February 22, 2017 /

Living an authentic Christian life is just hard, isn’t it?

In a world of curated shiny “selfies” we want to be honest about our own mess and love others well in the midst of theirs. We don’t want to be the fakey judgey plastic Christians, banging others over the head with our Bibles, ignoring our own sin.

In the past few years I think there have been some brave, articulate Christians who have modeled vulnerability and authenticity well. It’s been a much-needed corrective to a Christian culture that just wants to show happy-clappy to the world and use the sword of Truth as a weapon of mass destruction.

These truth-tellers have been detailed and explicit about their mess, and God’s love, but sometimes I feel we’re in danger overcompensating – of making an idol out of authenticity and stopping short of truly grieving it as sin.

It seems like it has become more noble to talk about our sin than actually repent of it.

A pastor stands up or a writer writes “real” –  confessing motives, actions, thoughts, words – a heart that is darker than we’d guess.

We’re like, “Wow! That is so great! He is sooooo AUTHENTIC!!”

We applaud their courageous honesty and breathe a sigh of relief. “Phew! I’m not the only one”, we think.

When we feel safe to show our rough edges, our failures, our missteps; we may celebrate grace. Yay! There’s NOTHING we can do to be holy, or good enough. I’m ok, you’re ok.

But have we translated Jesus’ acceptance of us right where we are, into an endorsement of whatever feels good to our culture? Has his patience in our minds morphed into tolerance of everything?

Does it mean we ignore God’s grief over our sin, or the price that He paid to rescue us, or the dreams that He has for our growth in character that is like Him?

Has “authentic” become code for celebrating sin under the guise of “Jesus is Love so it’s all good”?

Has love become all comfort and no cost?

Do we think someone loves us only if they endorse our behavior?

Here’s what I’ve been thinking… We get into trouble when we omit God from any Gospel equation.

You may say, “Well, duh!” but think about how inclined we are to do this.

Truth – Grace = Gospel – God  (pharisaical)

Grace – Truth = Gospel – God  (self-centered)

Both omit God from the equation.

 Do you take the kindness of God for granted? Do you see His patience and tolerance as signs that He is a pushover when it comes to sin? How could you not know that His kindness is guiding our hearts to turn away from distractions and habitual sin to walk a new path? Romans 2:4 The Voice

Clearly I’m not the only one thinking about this.

And…

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The church is where we as the broken and beloved come to receive grace and forgiveness, to place ourselves in God’s hands for His refining and redemptive work. This is not easy stuff! I’m thankful for grace AND truth… grateful that we’re on the way together.

 

What if You Don’t Like the Chapter You’re Living?

September 29, 2016 /

Last week I spoke to a large gathering of young moms. As I looked around the room of women seated at round tables I saw the fatigue of too little sleep, and the hopeful expressions of “please nourish me with something other than goldfish crackers”.

I know that most of them (probably with toddlers wrapped around their legs), stood in front of a mirror fretting about what to wear and how to camouflage a bulge here or there. I know I did too.

They worried about how much of their true story to reveal. They wondered if the chapter they’re living is important or impossible.

Each of us, married or single, parents or not, old or young, are living a chapter in the larger story of God.

You may not like this chapter you’re living right now. You may think it’s not important to the Storyline.

You see signs like this and you want to hurl something.

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But God’s story doesn’t depend on our setting.

How did Moses feel about his chapter in the wilderness when God was writing a chapter of character refinement?

How did John feel about his chapter exiled on Patmos when God was writing a chapter of encouragement for the future?

How did Peter feel about his chapter in jail when God was writing a story of salvation for a jailer?

How did Joseph feel when he was sold into slavery when God was writing a chapter of rescue for His people?

Or how did Elizabeth feel during the MANY chapters of her life when she was barren when God was writing a chapter of preparation.

In Exodus 3:21 God says to his people in slavery (READ: crappy chapter!):

“I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed.”

But this promise isn’t fulfilled until Exodus 12:36! That’s chapters 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 11 that the Israelites had to trust that God was at work writing a redemptive story even though they couldn’t see it! They had to trust that even in the midst of harsh punishment and plagues and Pharaoh’s hard heart, God was at work. And they weren’t very good at it. Like you and I are often not very good at trusting that God is working in ways we can’t see.

God repeated His promises to the Israelites in Exodus 6, “but they did not listen to Him because of their discouragement and harsh labor.”

Sin is when we reject God’s script and try to write another one. We want to snatch the pen out of His hand and write ourselves out of a situation that God may be using for purposes we can’t see yet.

When we moved from Washington D.C. to Minneapolis, humanly speaking there was not enough time to sell our house in D.C. and close on one in our new state before John started work. We had two daughters under 3 years old, and I did not relish the idea of being a nomad wandering in the wilderness without a home (cue the violins). CLEARLY God needed my help with the script. I chose to snatch the pen away and try to write my own story.

And so I made an unethical choice. Before John had formally been offered the job, I whispered in the ear of a realtor friend that he could “unofficially” show our house on the DL while we were away in Minneapolis candidating.

When we arrived back in D.C. I called the realtor to ask if my plan had worked and he had a buyer. He said “Nope!”.

As soon as I hung up the phone, it rang. I picked it up and it was a different realtor who had no idea we were moving, but she had been in our house. She had a couple who had been looking for a home for a two years. She had described our house to them and they wanted to buy it sight unseen at asking price if we were willing to sell it.

And God said “HA!! I will ALWAYS be a better author than you. Trust me!”

If you’re living a chapter that seems like Egypt, seems impossible, it may be that you’re living Exodus 4-11, and like in chapter 12, a teacher recently pointed out to me that you won’t have to leave empty handed. Think about what you may be able to take with you from this chapter you’re living.

 

The T.V. Preacher and Me

September 15, 2016 /

Very early most mornings at Starbucks, my elderly gentleman friend Stan, walks over from his home in the neighborhood to buy his morning paper and stops by my “office” to chat. The other day he was telling me about a new t.v. preacher he had discovered who he really likes.

I asked the name of this guy and when Stan told me I gulped and bit my tongue as I continued to listen. I wanted to say “Stan! Don’t you know about this guy?! Don’t you know about what he DID back in the day?!! I would never listen to him!”

And then the Holy Spirit tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, “What if you were judged by all your past sins? What if you weren’t allowed to grow and change?”

I thought, “Jesus is about forever tries and redemption and new life. Am I?”

It made me think about all the people I’ve “written off” with labels like “out-of-control”, “racist”, “addict”, “unhealthy”, “materialistic”, “victim”…

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I thought of the woman caught in adultery in John 8 and I wondered how Jesus’ grace affected her. Did she change? Did people let her become something other than the label, “adulterer”? Were they able to see the label Jesus gave her: “Beloved”?

Today there’s someone who comes to mind who I’ve given the label, “User”. I haven’t seen him for years, but today I’m praying for him and in my mind as I pray, I’m picturing that label being removed from him, and replaced by one that says “Beloved”.

Fitbit Faith

September 12, 2016 /

For my birthday I received the absolutely delightful gift of a Fitbit from a dear friend.

I LOVE it! John says they designed this little gadget with type A, goal-setting, competitive, rule-followers like me in mind.

This magical wristband tracks your activity, sleep, and may even make your breakfast for you (I’m still looking into that).

At least 10,000 steps a day is the target. John just shakes his head and laughs when I jump up and start walking in circles around the kitchen island after my wrist has tingled and a prompt has reminded me I have 75 more steps to go in order to make 250 for the hour. Whatever…It works for me.

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But I’ve found this little motivational marvel has some lessons for my faith as well as my physical fitness.

  • Things are not always what they seem. Facing the facts is life-giving. Before I had hard data, I assumed some activities were more beneficial than they actually are, and I discounted some that turn out to be valuable. In the realm of the spirit, Satan is the father of lies and will always be distorting, distracting, and discouraging. This is why it is so important for us to “bring every thought captive” to the Truth of God’s Word.
  • Intention is crucial. No one drifts into fitness and no one drifts into spiritual maturity. Discipline pays off. Every tiny step of obedience adds up. Evennnnnnntually it will pay off on the scale physically, but more importantly discipline pays off in spiritual transformation over time.
  • Intention CAN become legalism. I have been known to run up and down stairs at 11:30 at night just to get in my last hundred steps if it’s been a slow day. I’m such a rule-follower that I need to be careful that I’m more about the big picture than the letter of the law. When a goal, or a task (no matter how good) becomes more important than loving the person in front of me, I need a reset. I also need to be willing to LET IT GOOOOOO. God, our loving Father is all about grace, not shame.

As helpful as this might be for me, writer Chris Rogers points out that Spiritual discipline is more romance than formula.  Whatever is going to stir us to greater depths of love and devotion to Jesus is where we need to take our steps. Are you with me?!

Movies and Two Questions to Help You Live a Better Story

January 5, 2015 /

I, like 99% of Americans am bracing for my post-holiday diet.  This will include all the dis’s – discipline, discomfort, and disappointment that I let things get so out of hand.

I’ve been eating like a bear preparing for hibernation. But it’s not only food that’s been filling me up. With all the new holiday releases, we’ve had a bunch of titles on our “want to see” list.

We saw three movies over the past couple weeks and they filled me up in different ways.

In all three the main character faced pain, conflict, drama, and intense challenges.

I thought that all three were compelling stories well-told on the screen.

One left me sleepless – tossing and turning trying to process why I felt so sad and heavy from the watching.

The other two, although very different from each other, left me informed and inspired.  I walked away feeling stronger, more resolved to live a better story.

As we discussed the first movie around the dinner table I said I didn’t like the main character much. I didn’t like her values or her language.  Mostly I didn’t like the lack of redemption or the trajectory of her life I saw.  As I said this I probably sounded like uptight “Movie Mom” but it was honestly what I felt.

My twenty-somethings responded that this is real life.  This is the way most people live and talk.

Well, yeah, of course it is. I get that.  And I see value in authenticity and exposing ourselves to truth that may be hard to watch because life is sometimes hard to watch. We need to understand a world where not everyone grows the way we’d like them to.

But here’s the thing.  I aspire to something different than most of the “real” world.   Continue reading

One Reason You Shouldn’t Memorize Scripture

October 13, 2014 /

So, the other day I posted on Longings, Set-backs, and 3 Keys to Small Victories.  It was about goals and next steps and cheerleaders, but mostly it was about perseverance.

Perseverance is an ugly word in my vocabulary because it involves another “p word” I hate – patience.  Perseverance and patience are both “growing edges” in my life.  That’s the nice way of saying I stink at both, and God has His work cut out for Him.

This is where Scripture comes in. I’ve been trying to memorize a passage on patience and perseverance.

I think I’ve mentioned Scripture Typer before.  It’s a great Scripture memory app.  Lately I’ve been using it to help me memorize James 1:1-5.  Actually “lately” might be stretching it.  I’ve been working on it lately, but also for a looooong time.  Don’t mock, you mockers.

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In case you haven’t memorized this one, here it is:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

Anyway, I’ve really been getting in the groove…my little fingers scurrying across the keys, typing THE WORDS, faster, faster, faster.

So today I’m blitzing along, trying to check “MEMORIZE SCRIPTURE” off my To-do list so I can get back to all the maddening REAL stuff I’m trying to persevere and power through.

Then Bam!  The Holy Spirit clonks me on the head. Continue reading

What I’m Not Reading

April 14, 2014 /

I’m home.  Home to my little house in my “Mayberry” neighborhood and my community filled with people who cheer and frustrate, and are broken and in the process of being put back together just like me.

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The past two months have been rich and stimulating and very, very full.  Full of new relationships and places and ideas, and stories and prayers and intense conversations.  It’s been wonderful and overwhelming at the same time.  And not the norm.

I love variety and travel and learning new things.  It’s a blessing.  But I need to get back to living my real life.

So…this is the pile of books I’m not reading.

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Don’t get me wrong.  They look really good and I’m excited about digging into them, but here’s where I’ve felt a pinch in the butt by the Holy Spirit.

I’m getting fat.

It’s crazy wonderful to be exposed to stimulating relationships and new information and great books, but the danger is we become obese – filled up with all of the deliciousness and getting no exercise.  Processing and applying nothing.  A holy hoarder if you will.

I think…”Oh that’s such a great IDEA!!  I should tell someone and they should DO it!”

“I will think more about _______________(insert anything I hear that I’m convicted or excited about) and how real that can be real in my life…someday.”

“I’m gonna Tweet that quote!”

We consume more, tweet more, Instagram more than we live into.

These days I need to do more living into.

I have a friend who used to say, “Start reading Jesus’ words in the New Testament and when you get to a command, stop, and don’t read further until you do it.”

And then there’s Jen Hatmaker who writes, “At some point, the church stopped living the Bible and decided just to study it, culling the feast parts and whitewashing the fast parts.  We are addicted to the buffet, skillfully discarding the costly discipleship required after consuming.”

I’ll get around to reading these books and be glad I did, but not today.

Today I need to write a note of encouragement, take a walk and pray present, do laundry, and forgive that person who dinged me.  I need to create stuff and breathe deep and serve others in my real-life community.

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For you the challenge may be the opposite.  Maybe you need to stop doing and be still.  Or maybe you’re starving for more sustenance and need to fill up with inspiration from God’s Word and information about the needs in His world.

What are you living into today?

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