Tag: tongue

One of the Most Cringe-worthy Verses in the Bible

October 22, 2022 /

I like to talk. I get excited. I like to ask questions and share stories. Lots of big hand gestures. Maybe you too? This can be a strength when you want to connect with people, but…

Ever leave a party and stress about that you said too much?

Yeah, me either. Rarely happens 🙄.

For me, one of the most cringe-worthy verses in the Bible is “Where words are many, sin is not absent.” (Proverbs 10:19)

The other day, I was reflecting on something I shared at a social gathering.

And after beating myself up about what would be characterized as gossip, or at least sharing information that wasn’t strictly kind, necessary, or helpful, I got more constructive and asked myself “Why?”

Why was I so motivated to say what I did?

Honestly, the information I had, gave me power and status in the eyes of people I wanted to like me.

A friend of mine sent me this quote the other day:

“There is nothing in your life too terrible or too sad that will not be your friend when you find the right name to call it…”

Laurens vanderPost

If I were to name the why it might be “insecurity” or “longing for importance”.

And why that? Maybe I’m not rooted enough in the truth of my belovedness to God. Who or what is telling me I’m not important or valuable to others? What is the truth, the words Jesus speaks over me?

So after you ask yourself why, and name the thing beneath the thing, then what do you do?

  • Confess. Ask forgiveness.

Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed.

James 5:16 Msg
  • Prepare for the future. Naming this, hopefully will make me more aware of the temptation when I walk into a similar situation in the future.

Reminding myself that I am a beloved child of the King who doesn’t need the approval or validation of anyone and praying that God would guard my heart and tongue may help.

Can you relate? What would you add? Share in comments.

Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.

Proverbs 10:19

Un-burn

March 21, 2012 /

We’re back home from a long trip that was intense…full of new information, new relationships, hard stuff and steep learning curves.  I feel like I should be full of energy and productivity, catching up on all that I missed while we were out of the country.  But I’ve got nothing.  The truth is, that with travel our spiritual and physical rhythms of health got all out of whack and what I feel like God is saying to me is “Sabbath”.  So I hope you’ll be ok with me re-posting some thoughts from February 2011.

My husband, John has been leading our church and our denomination through some controversial waters lately, making it seem some days like he’s Jason Bourne running the gauntlet with a lot of people shooting at him. One person threatened him and called him a terrorist… A tad scary. I asked if there wasn’t “someone” we should report that to. As our friend Sharon says, “Words matter.”

A couple months ago John met with a good friend of ours for coffee.

This should have been a good thing. It was with someone we love and respect.

But when he came home he was …dejected I guess is the word for it. Because this appointment was an attempt to start rebuilding a relationship that has been damaged by gossip. Gossip that was totally unfounded. And as much as John could deny this slander, the damage had been done. He was frustrated and tired and sad.

He and I have been overwhelmed and discouraged at different times experiencing the destructive power of the tongue.

In the Bible James says the tongue can destroy like a forest fire. How do you “un-burn” a forest after a fire?

We just can’t totally undo the damage of words. It seems there’s always a lingering wound, a seed of doubt, a bit of suspicion. I think about how long it takes a charred forest to experience re-growth and I grieve the damage that will take so long to repair. You just have to carefully protect and nurture the new life that starts to grow out of the ashes and pray no one sets another fire.

Why do we seem to want to expect the worst of others, especially leaders?  To make us feel better about ourselves?

How delighted must Satan be when our gossip destroys the unity that Jesus called the Church to model?

This is an example from our life, but it’s not about “us”. It’s about all of us…it’s about the Body of Christ and our posture towards each other.

As someone who has both sinned in this way, and experienced the terrible fall-out from others who have, I want to renew my commitment to honest, direct conversations and words that build up.

I feel like I should have Proverbs 10:19 tatooed on my hand: “Where words are many sin is not absent.”

What’s your experience with gossip?  Have you been wounded by it?  Do you struggle yourself?

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