Tag: technology

What’s at the Root of Your Loneliness and What Can You Do About it?

September 10, 2022 /

Recently, a pastor I was listening to, shared some information that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about (and not in a happy clappy way).

Back in the late 80’s and early 90’s, scientists experimented with a closed ecological system in Arizona called Biosphere 2. I don’t do science or math and maybe you don’t either, but stick with me.

They created rainforest, ocean, wetlands, savannah, and desert inside a dome in order to see if something similar could be used in outer space.

Here’s what happened. The trees grew quickly, but then fell over!  One commentator said, “the lack of wind created trees with much softer wood than that species would normally make in the wild. They grew more quickly than they did in the wild, but were harmed in the long run as a consequence.” 

This stuck with me because I’ve been thinking about how much comfort and convenience has become an idol in our (MY!) lives.

We’re so committed to comfort and convenience through technology that there is less and less “wind” in our lives to help deepen our relational roots with God and others.

Think about some of the ways we try to prevent any relational wind in our lives.

  • We order through Amazon, or mobile order our coffee so we don’t have to interact with an actual person who may be irritating to us, and we get what we want as quickly as we want. Like magic!

  • We attend online church (if we attend at all) so we can cherry-pick the communicator we like, with the music we like, at the time we like, and fast-forward through anything that might be boring or challenge our status quo.

  • We keep our heads down, eyes on our phone screens to protect us from awkward social situations and prevent us from ever having a moment to look around and be present to God and others.

  • We stream movies so we don’t have the inconvenience of driving to a theater, or text an excuse and bail at the last minute because we don’t feel like going out.

We choose to be consumers at the cost of community.


Again, I really don’t want to think about this, but I see 3 consequences of this abundantly technological life of no wind:

1. It gives us the misperception that we are God.

We are in control of all of the things, so what need do we have of fostering a closer relationship with the true sovereign God? Is technology our new tower of Babel? Where we originally got off track was in our desire to be autonomous. To “be” God. We’re not. He knows what we don’t know. He sees what we don’t see. He is our good and sovereign creator. We were meant for a dependent relationship with Him.

2. It isolates us,

preventing us from the comforting and spiritually formative relationships God created us for.

A new report suggests that 36% of all Americans—including 61% of young adults and 51% of mothers with young children—feel “serious loneliness.”

The effect of all this technology is comfort, yes, but also isolation. Loneliness. Connection comes at a cost.

A friend of mine had been a barista for years, but recently quit, partly because with mobile orders there was so little of the human interaction he loved.

3. It makes us less grateful.

We just moved back from the Bay area of California where the weather is close to perfect. Basically 72 degrees and sunny. Every. Day. (almost).

That’s great, but you start to take it for granted. You never have to adjust or adapt. Someone I knew planned an outdoor wedding with no contingency plan for bad weather!

Here in Minnesota I think we are over-the-top obnoxious about our gorgeous summers and falls because the winters are so harsh. The grit makes us more aware of the gift.

We can’t control the weather, but the ability to adjust the thermostat of our lives in so many areas dulls our senses to the work of God and His image in others.

SO WHAT??! Why choose what feels inconvenient? We’re weary of all the “wind” of the war and the economy and politics and Covid.

Deep breath. That’s not what I’m talking about. Instead of giving into the anxiety that these things produce, maybe pray:

Lord, today, may I not forget my need of you.

May I look up and around more than I look down at my phone.

Help me to listen with my eyes as well as my ears.

Prompt me to pause to pet puppies, compliment the cute dress on the stranger in line at the grocery store, make the soup for a sick friend, go next door to welcome the new neighbors, and bike to church even when the preacher of the day isn’t my favorite.

Make me a world-class noticer of the longing, the loneliness, the battered and the beautiful, all around me.

When I see something, remind me to say something – “thanks”, “sorry”, “wow.“

May I show up when it’s easier to shut down.

May I be a truth-teller and a grace-giver instead of a canceler of relationships when things get uncomfortable.

May connecting with You and others trump comfort, and may commitment take priority over the convenience of staying home.

Amen

6 Vital Practices to Fill You Up During a Draining Season

September 28, 2020 /

There’s a reason I haven’t been posting lately. It’s because I feel like there are just too many words coming at us. Too much news, too many emails, too much technology. We are feeling dehumanized and desperately long for the things that remind us we are made in God’s image.

We miss hugs, talking in person, laughing around a table…And if you’re like me, almost anything on a screen makes you feel weary.

I’m popping on today to suggest some practices that might help. But before we look at things to fill us up, what about putting boundaries on the things that drain us and make us feel dehumanized?

A few boundaries I’ve found helpful:

  • Turn off ringer and leave phone in one place in the house when you are home so it’s not nearby.
  • Tape one reliable news show instead of having news on in the background or turning it on indiscriminately.
  • Set your phone for boundaries. Go to Settings, then “Screen time” and set “Down time” (times when your apps won’t be available to you) and “App limits” (you can choose to set a time limit on certain apps you may be tempted to use too much and your phone will notify when you’re at your limit)

After limiting what drains you, commit to some practices that fill you. Here are some of my suggestions. Maybe just pick one to focus on today, or add yours in the comments!

1.Breathe

I used to think it was dumb when leaders had us pause to pay attention to our breath as a pre-cursor for prayer. I was wrong. Maybe it is the prevalence of technology and a 24/7 news cycle that has brought home the value of this practice that truly helps me be more present to God.

“God is the oxygen of your soul. Connecting body breath to God is a spiritual practice.”

Adele Calhoun

Go outside and sit on your front step (or on a park bench) and breathe in deeply. Think of the breath of God (the Holy Spirit – Ruach ) filling every inch of your body. Breathe out the care and anxiety you’re carrying.

Then use your senses. What are 5 things you see? What are 5 things you feel? Hear? Smell? Just sit, and breathe. What’s the invitation of God in this moment? Be present and human.

2.Create

Make something with your hands. Anything. Especially if your day is spent mostly using your mind. For me that looks like sewing masks, or baking, or creating environments for gathering people. Maybe for you it might be creative lettering, or photography or making a care package for someone.

3.Read

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

When we read Scripture, it reminds us that we are not alone. We are not the first to experience this mess. God is not surprised or overwhelmed, or insufficient for what we are facing. There are wonderful parallels to this season in Exodus chapters 12-18 if you want a place to start.

When we read books about people and places different from us, it helps us look beyond ourselves and our own circumstances. It’s not escapist entertainment, but I think the book, American Dirt, is one of the best books I read this summer. It took me into the world of the immigrant experience as a mother and son flee Mexico for the U.S.

What good books are you reading?

4.Smile

During this incredibly stressful season, we need to laugh. We need beautiful pictures and stories that lift our spirits, inspire us, or make us smile. Most of you know I deleted Twitter and am rarely on FB, but I love Instagram because it brings joy. I follow tons of dog and travel feeds. I’ll spare you those, but here are a just a few of my favorite feeds.

If you want adventure, follow @jimmychin .
If you want to experience life on a delightful sheep farm, follow @sweckerfarm (especially her daily stories!)
For encouragement (even if you have his book) follow @charliemackesie !
If you wish you lived in the British countryside, follow @suddenjourneys (Especially her daily stories!!).
If you’d like to live in Paris, follow @alexandrine_ar !
For awe and wonder at God’s creation, follow @usinterior !

5. Thank

Study after study has shown that the practice of gratitude has benefits both physically and emotionally. You may want to keep a gratitude journal, or practice sharing 3 things you’re thankful for at dinner each night.

What are you thankful for right now?

6. Get Out (while wearing a mask at a social distance).

I want to be careful and wise with this one because we all have unique circumstances, and some will be limited more than others. But, within reason, how can you stay connected in person with others?

When the pandemic started, we decided to invest in making our outdoor space more welcoming and conducive to gathering people with distance. We bought a few more chairs and years ago we got a white tent at Costco (which is actually advertised as a carport).

Our daughter, Katy says she’s discovered paddle-boarding to be an ideal socially distanced activity to do with friends. For me, tennis is my go-to.

Maybe “getting out” is inviting friends to outdoor spaces with you, but I also read a great article recently on the importance of “casual connections” – how they provide needed emotional support and contribute to our sense of well-being. God did not create us for isolation, right?

The article talks about “consequential strangers” (like baristas, beauticians, checkout people at the grocery store) who give us the feeling that we belong to a community – a basic human need. 

Consequential strangers “are as vital to our well-being, growth, and day-to-day existence as family and close friends. Consequential strangers anchor us in the world and give us a sense of being plugged in to something larger…They are vital social connections – people who help you get through the day and make life more interesting.” *

What is one of these practices you might try today? What would you add?

*Melinda Blau and Karen L. Fingerman “The Power of People Who Don’t Seem to Matter…But Really Do.”

A Little Reassurance for Everyday Intimidation

September 13, 2014 /

What’s “that thing” for you?  The thing that intimidates you?  The thing that is hard to face…that threatens to undo you?  It might be embarrassing to admit.

Maybe it’s speaking in front of crowds… Driving in city traffic?  Facing your boss on Monday morning?  Or facing your mother?

For me, it’s technology.  Cursed technology.

I’m in the process (and it’s a looooong process) of trying to make this blog and ministry platform better.  Hopefully you’ll notice some positive changes over the next few months, but the first steps I’ve had to take have involved a boatload of technological instructions that have been, shall we say…spiritually formative (read: MADDENING AND SCARES THE PANTS OFF ME).  It has felt like 2 steps backwards when I’m trying to go forward (can you relate?)

I swear I picture a huge curtain like in the Wizard of Oz and gleeful little imps behind it working a control panel with levers and switches designed to send me hurtling into the abyss.images

Anyway, all that to say that some of you were kind to share or tweet about this post from last week, but if people clicked to read there was…a big fat NOTHING.  Sorry!

Others of you missed this post because I was unable to transfer subscribers til yesterday.

BUT, here’s the great thing (and where YOU come in).

What I experienced in this intimidating process is exactly what I hope you experience when you show up at this blog site.  

I was reminded, and I want to remind you: Continue reading

4 Things to do When You’re Afraid of Snakes or Technology or…

June 6, 2014 /

Last year my One Word was Fearless.  Even if it wasn’t your “word”, it clearly struck a cord with many of you.

I’d really like to say, “Fear shmear!  Puh-lease!  We’ve dealt with you and we’re so done!  Shaking the fear dust off our feet!  Moving on!”

Unfortunately, like bad hair days and weeds, it can keep showing up.  What’s a current fear of yours?   Is it a risk in business?  A parenting decision?  A move or change? 

Recently as daughter Maggie was getting ready to head to northern Uganda she was researching snakes – a phobia we both share.

She texted me asking if I thought mace would deter a Black Mamba.  I said I thought it might just make him angrier.  Her husband, Austin did research and assured her that she’d have 20 minutes to find an antidote (in the middle of nowhere) before she died.  And then this:IMG_7102

So, she’s got that advice in her hip pocket.

But a fear of mine, not as dramatic as snakes, has been plaguing me recently – fear of technology.

Laura to technology is like the Cubs to baseball.  #Fail.  And I HATE making mistakes!

Recently it was creating and trying to figure out how to embed a survey that loomed large.  Now on the other side of it, I am trying to reflect on what I’m learning about facing fears, especially when I feel inadequate.  Here are a few of my learnings.  I’d love to hear yours!

1.  Study.  Like Maggie googling snakes in Africa, the more I can learn about something the better off I’ll be.  Frankly that’s a pain with technology because I’d prefer to have someone sit down and show me, but instead I had to google tutorials.  Still, it paid off.  Knowledge is power.  Or a tiny bit of courage.

2.  Ask, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”  For me the worst that could happen did.  A wrong button was hit and those of you who subscribe received an empty post.  How humiliating!  (Again, I HATE appearing incompetent).  But was it as catastrophic as the apocalypse? No.  You guys are a forgiving lot and I dusted myself off and tried again.

3. Identify the benefits of failure.   Often the fear is worse than the thing itself.  There can be huge growth, relief, and pride on the other side of walking through our fears, even if temporary failure is part of the deal.

I don’t just fear technology, I basically hate it.  It’s detail-y and scienc-y and science is close to math and we all know I don’t do math, so it takes a tremendous amount of discipline to MAKE myself do any projects involving technology.  But that discipline pays off in learning new skills, and diminished fear for the future.

4.  Pray.  (You figure I had to put that one in, eh?).  Honestly my prayers regarding my fears are usually an inarticulate “Helpmehelpmehelpme!”.  I’m learning I’m better off if I pray scripture – either paying attention and praying for the character qualities of those in the Bible who face their fears – like Daniel, Joseph, and Nehemiah, or claiming God’s promises of His presence and guidance.

So, what’s a current fear of yours?  What are you learning?  

 

 

Spiritual ADD

October 12, 2012 /

Often people ask me for suggestions of good devotionals or Bible studies.  It happened again this past week after John preached on the Bread of Life and it got me to thinking.  I’m delighted to share what’s been helpful to me, but with a few caveats and a request to hear from you too.  I am so grateful for my relationship with Jesus but…

Continue reading

The Most Important Thing to do When You Make a Mistake

June 12, 2012 /

When was the last time you made an embarrassing mistake?

My answer would be, “Yesterday, thanks so much for bringing it up!”

I’ve been convinced for quite awhile that evil elves live inside my computer and conspire against me with every technological weapon at their disposal, putting their tiny pointed heads together and hatching plans for my destruction.

Continue reading

How to Be Where You Are

January 23, 2012 /

I love this photo I saw recently of a basket at the door to someone’s home.

But beyond that, what about the Obama White House, where cabinet members needed to tag and leave their phones before entering a meeting?

Be where you are.

I love these examples because they model what we all desire.  For people to be truly present and attentive.

But it’s also convicting, because I’m an ADD, multi-tasking friend and wife who isn’t always “present” to others.

Have you ever been talking to someone on the phone and can hear them typing on their computer while they talk to you?  Or people having coffee with you, texting (even under the table!) at the same time they’re talking to you?  Or you’re in a meeting and someone is surreptitiously checking FB?

Does it make you wonder if you’re that boring?  Or if they’re that important?

I keep thinking of Luke 10 where it says “Martha was distracted“, but “Mary chose what was better.”  Being present to Jesus.  Is technology distracting me from my relationship with Jesus, others, and even myself?

Just this morning as I was reading scripture, and praying, I stopped to text someone I thought of.  Could it have waited?  Absolutely.  I wonder…when we’re not fully present are we really saying to the other (in this case, Jesus)…

  • Someone or something else is more important than you.
  • I am more important than you.
  • Posting, tweeting, texting, being in demand defines my value.

Here’s something that really impacted me this week.  I’m not an “important” person (yeah, yeah, I know I’m important to God, but I mean in a worldly sense).  I’m not famous, but somehow I’ve been privileged to spend time with many people who are.  Leaders who are having a huge impact in the world.  They are smart, articulate, anointed, sought after, and extremely busy.

This past week I was with one of the most gifted, influential teachers of our day, and the thing that struck me the most powerfully was that I never once saw him check his iphone while he was with us.

He wasn’t receiving texts during dinner.

He didn’t interrupt conversations to answer a call.

His eyes didn’t stray around, searching for more “important” people other than who he was talking to.

And he didn’t hurry through the room.  He was truly present to the people he was with.

That in itself is a big deal.  But the question I thought of beyond that was, what does this say about his ability to be present to Jesus?  To not allow the demands, interruptions, requests, distract him from the discipline of being truly with Jesus?  I wonder if these two things are related.

How might the practice of being present to Jesus affect our ability to be present to each other?  And vice versa.  Does practicing being present in one relationship carry over into another?

How can we “Hang up and arrive.” as Jon Acuff says?

Are there times we leave our phone at home?  Days we turn it off?

How much does technology affect your ability to be present to Jesus and others?

Is There an App for That?

October 28, 2011 /

I’ve told you before that our family likes to make a game out of anything.  Especially if there are points involved.  Maggie is famous for making up these games and somehow she always ends up being the boss of the game in charge of giving and (more importantly) taking away points.

Anyway, when the girls were growing up we would work on memorizing scripture.  Now don’t get the idea this was any systematized, consistent, we’ve-now-memorized-the-whole-book-of-Leviticus kind of thing, but we would do a game from time to time at dinner where we would go around the table and each person would have to say one word of the verse we were memorizing in order.  Like this (Hebrews 12:11):

Laura: No

Maggie: discipline

Katy: seems

John: ?

Well the girls thought it was hysterical because the person who was the WORST at this game was John, the professional holy man.  He would have them cracking up as he tried to guess the most likely words like “LOVE!, JESUS!, GRACE!….RATS!”

Now, I’m NOT a good memorizer either, but I’ve been hugely impacted by the way God has used my meager attempts at putting His word in my heart, and it is uncanny how He’ll bring a verse to mind (or even part of a verse 🙂 at just the moment I need it encouraging (or convicting!) me.

Since Maggie’s birthday and since John finally gave up his $15 phone, we now all have Iphones.  I’ve discovered a verse memory app that I really like.  Just type in “Bible Memory Verses” in the search box of the App Store.  It’s free and it’s the first one that pops up (Woody Hays).  It has a lot of core verses already in-putted, but you can also add your own and can designate some as target verses you’re working on.  The coolest thing is that you can pull up a verse and touch “blanks” and it will create the verse with mostly blanks you need to fill in.  If you forget a word you can just tap the blank and it supplies the word your missing.

My big idea is to have our family all work on the same verse again.  The girls were all for it, (I think mostly cause they’re looking forward to us going around the table at Thanksgiving and watching John sweat.)  In order to get buy-in I told Katy she could pick the first one (although maybe I should ask John so he’d have a head start).   She chose Isaiah 58:11 for our first group effort.  You’re welcome to join us or pick your own verse and ask someone to join you.

For Spirit Stretch Friday I thought I’d pass this along in case you’d like to add the app.  Obviously you don’t need a special phone to find effective ways to memorize scripture!  Is there other technology that you’ve found helpful in following Jesus?

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