Tag: spiritual formation (Page 1 of 3)

Soul Food for Lent

March 7, 2020 /

I’ve never liked Lent.

As a kid, Catholics were the bunch who got to leave school early on Wednesdays to go to “CCD”, and did a criss-cross applesauce motion with their hands when they prayed, and had to eat fish on Fridays. The whys and whereof’s were a total mystery to the rest of us – the uninitiated.

As young adult it seemed like the thing to do to go with the flow so I half-heartedly tried giving up something for lent, choosing something like desserts that would serve me and my waistline as well as Jesus. It was all about trying to be as disciplined as Jesus, appear holy, and lose some weight.

This author said it well:

“Our practice of Lent has been too easily turned into a competition, a scaling of the spiritual ladder, proudly (even if silently) chuckling at those who too easily give up on the gym or the wagon.”

EMMY R. KEGLER

Also, as a 7 on the Enneagram, I have a built in excuse for being bad at “Lenting”. I’m all about joy and run from grief and sacrifice like Wile E. Coyote being chased by Road Runner.

But this is exactly why it’s important for me to pay attention to the experiences, reflection, and practices of Lent.

One way spiritual formation happens is when we pay attention with Jesus, to what makes us uncomfortable, and respond.

I truly believe what’s meaningful for one person in preparing for Easter, may not be fruitful for another. This is why, when I saw Sarah Bessey’s 40 Simple Practices for Lent, I thought, brilliant! But…

Though I love this idea and many of Sarah’s suggestions, not all of them resonate with me, so I took the ones that were meaningful and substituted my own where I wanted.

I have found it really drawing me to Jesus so far, but only as I don’t view it as a checklist, but instead, suggestions for focused reflection.

And you know what?? You could do this too!

I linked to Sarah’s list, and I’ll put mine below (remember, I’m using a bunch of her ideas – noted with *). But you can make your own list too.

Or just choose one or two things from the list! No legalism here. It’s between you and God.

Also, whatever you decide, I’m not going in order, but choosing each day one that feels right.

  1. Subscribe to a Lenten devotional or app (I’m doing the one from NCC )
  2. Choose to fast from speaking negatively about anyone or complaining for the day. Reflect on this fast.
  3. Pray for your enemies or those who have hurt you by name. Bless them as beloved children of God.*
  4. Read a contemporary book on suffering or loss such as A Grace Disguised (memoir), Shades of Light (fiction), or What Grieving People Wish You Knew About What Really Helps (nonfiction)
  5. Choose silence – no phone or internet.*
  6. Donate 40 things to charity.*
  7. Practice Sabbath. Worship. Power off. Do something that brings you joy.
  8. Repent. Read Amos 5*
  9. Look for light and beauty around you today. As you notice it, thank Jesus for the darkness, and ugly brutality He endured for you.
  10. Choose the discipline of secret service today. Bless someone anonymously. Don’t tell anyone.
  11. Write a prayer or blessing for your church staff. Drop it off with treats.
  12. Speak words of forgiveness out loud to yourself for that thing you’ve been holding onto for too long.*
  13. Light a candle and reflect on one word from Scripture for five minutes. Examples: mercy, forgiven, beloved.*
  14. At dinner, pray for persecuted Christians around the world.
  15. Plant a flower bulb. Take it to someone who needs hope in their darkness.
  16. Imagine God looking at you with infinite love, and tenderness, kindness and mercy.*
  17. Write out Matthew 11:28-30 and tape it to your mirror.*
  18. Read Psalm 139 from an unfamiliar translation like The Passion.
  19. Text someone who may feel lonely or unseen a word of encouragement.
  20. Do a biblical word study of “wilderness”
  21. Unfollow or mute 5 social media accounts that make you feel angry, afraid, or envious.*
  22. Give away 40 compliments or words of affirmation to strangers and friends.
  23. Write a thank you note to someone who has sacrificed for you.
  24. Read Ted Loder’s “I Praise You for this Resurrection Madness” from Guerrillas of Grace
  25. Do a prayer walk through your neighborhood.
  26. Listen to “See a Victory”. What does it mean to you personally that the battle belongs to the Lord? How does it impact you that you know the end of the story?
  27. Write a Psalm of Lament for injustice you or people you love have experienced.*
  28. Tip someone 40% ( a sacrifice)
  29. Say the breath prayer “Lord I can’t. You can.” as you picture those you’re praying for.
  30. Read Psalm 51 in 3 different versions.*
  31. Attend a Stations of the Cross service, or do a reflection on them (I’m using Remember Me, by Sharon Garlough Brown, but it is a sequel and won’t be as meaningful if you haven’t read Shades of Light first.)
  32. Repeat the Jesus prayer throughout the day: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God have mercy on me, a sinner.” Consider using “beloved” in place of “sinner”.*
  33. Take dinner to a busy family with little kids. (These moms in particular are in a season of sacrifice for their family)
  34. Listen to Sara Groves’ song “We Wait”. Reflect on what it was like for the women around Jesus to wait through the Sabbath, doing nothing after He was crucified.
  35. Donate 40 canned goods to a food shelf.*
  36. Invite some friends over for dinner. Ask them to share a time when someone sacrificed for them.
  37. Go sit in an empty sanctuary and pray for all that will go on in that space.
  38. Choose a name for Jesus – Lamb of God, Prince of Peace, Bread of Life, Bridegroom… and look up Scripture to help you flesh out your understanding.
  39. Advocate for the oppressed. Check out IJM or World Vision.
  40. Use the practice of Lectio Divina (repeated reflective reading) with this verse: John 16:33.

What are you doing for Lent? Anything? Share what’s meaningful in the comments!

I’m over on Instagram if you want to come hang out! I’ll try to post some pictures of what this has looked like for me with the hashtag #whatlentlookslike.

What About the Undramatic Life?

February 17, 2020 /

“It probably takes many years of monastic practice to equal the spiritual growth generated by one sleepless night with a sick child.”

Douglas Abrams with Dalai Lama and Bishop Desmond Tutu, Book of Joy

So, recently someone recommended a lovely hike nearby to an area where the patron saint of Switzerland, Niklaus von Flue was born and lived in the 1400s.

He was a wealthy farmer who married and had 10 kids with his wife, but when the youngest was under a year old and the oldest was 20, he left them to become a hermit. According to history, he led an intense prayer life in his cloister (not far from his home), focusing on the suffering of Christ. Bless!

WHAT ABOUT HIS WIFE?? I can’t judge from my spot of privilege 500 years later, but I also can’t help inserting a little eye roll here and asking the question, “Who identified with the suffering of Jesus more – Nik, or his wife who had to deal with the daily stuff of dirty dishes, dirty diapers, and discipline with 10 kids to raise?”

We can elevate the dramatic, the “big” gestures of sacrifice for Jesus as the ones that really “count” in the kingdom and bring radical transformation of us as disciples, but really?

I’ve been thinking about “death by paper cuts” – the spiritual formation that can happen when we invite Jesus into the ordinary irritations of the everyday.

Come Holy Spirit, to the line at the grocery store.

May I find all the things to be grateful for even in the midst of disappointment today.

Come give me patience at the airport when my flight is cancelled.

Help me to see You, Jesus, in the joy of my kids at play.

Give me a willing heart to serve my husband in ways that are inconvenient.

Help me to be present to others as You are to me.

God desires to be recognizable in us in all we do.”

Beth Moore

What is the most ordinary place where you recognize God trying to form you more into His likeness?

The Benefit of Walking Awake

January 27, 2020 /

I walk on medieval cobblestones through the pre-dawn fog that is more reminiscent of London than Lucerne where we are based temporarily. The mountains that ring the city are completely hidden.

Coffee is calling my name as I head towards bridges across the Reuss river. I pass one of my favorite ancient buildings that I have discovered was a brothel in “days of yore.” I take time to pray for all those trapped in sex slavery and our friends who are working tirelessly to free them.

Heavenly Father, bring light to dark places of shame and rejection. May those who are trapped know they are beloved by you. You are the God who sees them and will act on their behalf. “A bruised reed you will not break and a smoldering wick you will not snuff out. In faithfulness You will bring justice.” Lord, for those working on their behalf, “Strengthen the feeble hands, and steady the knees that give way.”

The church bells of the city start to echo back and forth across the water and I pause to lift up all those we know in ministry around the world – worshipping in rented school gyms, and retrofitted reclaimed sanctuaries in Great Britain, with holy hands raised in African mud huts and home churches everywhere.

Holy Spirit anoint and empower them, give them insight, patience, wisdom and compassion. Help them to listen to Your voice above all. Give them soft hearts and thick skin

The early bike “rush hour” has begun …

…and I look for the father and son who pass me every day – Dad on a bike, son on a scooter, side by side. Dad protects, and gives his son a push every once in awhile to keep them together. It makes me think of the role of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Lord, strengthen our families. Give fathers and mothers grace, energy, and patience sufficient for today. May we have hearts wholly devoted to you. Guard us from temptation and give us discernment as we interact with a culture that often is at odds with the values you would have us live by. May you bless our children, young or old, with unmistakeable glimpses of Your faithfulness and great love for them today.

I wish I could tell you I do this every morning. I don’t!

I get distracted and make “to-do” lists in my head (or have imaginary conversations where I tell off the company that won’t refund me for the skin care cream I sent back).

I share this one morning glimpse in the hopes that maybe we can encourage each other to pay attention to the small promptings of God through our everyday life.

Like believers over the centuries have “prayed the hours”, how might we weave prayer into the ordinary moments of our days? What are the natural sights, sounds, or smells that might be triggers to draw us to the Lord?

I’ve become convinced that the major challenge of spiritual formation is paying attention…walking awake to the movement of God and responding.

What if we let the sight of a homeless man, or the cry of a baby, or the sound of an ambulance siren, or the beauty of a sunrise, draw us to God instead of being “b roll” that we don’t notice?

What’s your experience been? What would you add?

Soul Food to Enlarge Your Heart For the New Year

December 31, 2019 /
@andrearhowey

Like many of you, I’m a little off schedule about now. I hate routines, but they also save me and I’m ready to get back into a healthy rhythm. Anyone else with me?

Christmas was “different” this year. It was our first time away from home, family and friends for a holiday that is full of sacred meaning, memories, and traditions for me.

Some of you, following me on Instagram have seen the lovely images of this place we are blessed to serve for a short time. Some of you may be in a hard season and may have felt a twinge of resentment or envy. I so do not want that! I want to bring you along and I want to be honest about all of it.

I’m the first to say we’re privileged to be able to dive into this adventure and enjoy a myriad of new experiences and relationships. We’re incredibly grateful!

I’m also kind of like the mom who struggles with infertility and after having a baby doesn’t feel like she can have a bad day or get frustrated with her little one because, she HAS a little one. I feel guilty if I get emotionally wrung out or have a frustrating day grocery shopping, because I’m get to live in Lucerne for Pete’s sake!

But I don’t want the beauty of Switzerland to obscure the intense personal pain we’ve encountered in the faith community here. Grieving parents, broken marriages, addiction, emotional breakdowns, loneliness… We’re serving in a small church where basically we’re responsible for all of the things, and we’re definitely not gifted at all of the things! (Read: counseling, administration, technology…)

I want to tell the truth and say we miss our church and the friends we have so much history with. Without complaint, I want to say honestly that as much as I love travel, I’m also a nester, a celebrator, a tradition-keeper. I’ve tried to be present to God and others here, but a part of my heart is at home.

Enough about me. How was your Christmas?

I know for some of you the holidays are incredibly hard and you’re glad they’re almost over. You’ve made it through the first Christmas with an empty chair, or taken the high road when the topic turned to politics around the table, or courageously apologized to a family member, or put up some needed boundaries. Know that you are seen and prayed for and I’m cheering you on.

What do you do to prepare for a new year? I’ve shared our New Years Eve practice in the past, and this year I’ve added some questions for you to reflect on.

Now onto the joyful stuff from Instagram and around the internet.

@ashton.creates
@letterfolk

I loved this story (and video below) about an adorably sneaky comfort dog!

And this brought such joy!

As we approach the new year, let’s breathe deep, lean hard, and press on, knowing that God’s love holds.

When Sacred Rituals Become Empty Routines

December 2, 2019 /

It was a quintessential November morning – steely skies hanging over bare branched trees and brown fields resting for the winter. John and I started out driving east towards Wisconsin on 494, heading to my hometown in the suburbs of Chicago for Thanksgiving.

I was happily zipping along when suddenly I had to swerve to keep the car on the correct route. I had automatically prepared to get off on Rt. 5 – the road that leads to the airport because I drive there so much.

I was on auto-pilot. Not paying attention.

Think of all the things you do mindlessly out of habit. Maybe some of those routines have to do with your relationship with Jesus.

For thirty years John and I knew exactly what to expect at church.

We knew the words to the songs. The way to do communion. The rhythm of the service. It was comfortable. Familiar as my favorite tattered sweatshirt.

But there has been an advantage to not being committed to ministry at one specific church for the past year.

As we’ve attended over 20 churches, often we haven’t known the words or how to do communion, or if people raise their hands, or kneel or audibly say “Amen!” during the sermon.

There have been different styles of worship, and different environments for gathering – stained glass windows and schools and office buildings. It’s often been uncomfortable, but stretching in a healthy way.

I show up expectantly. Listen more intently to God’s Word. See with fresh eyes. Have my assumptions challenged.

A study has been done that says we stop thinking about the lyrics of songs after singing them thirty times. The familiar can be the enemy of spiritual growth.

John and I used to remind each other: “There is nothing so dangerous as the habitual handling of holy things.”

Mark Batterson writes,

“If we aren’t careful, we aren’t really worshiping God; we’re just lip-synching.”

Being shaken up in our expressions of worship, has made me think about how shaking up other spiritual routines might be a good thing.

  • If you don’t usually kneel when you pray, try it.
  • Listen to a new worship song.
  • If you read a set devotional, try just reading and reflecting on God’s character in a passage of Scripture instead.
  • Or try walking and listening to Pray as You Go app.
  • Experiment with bullet journalling.
  • Maybe you do the same thing every Advent and it’s time to try something new to open your eyes to the wonder of Jesus in a fresh way.

What would you add? Share in the comments!

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

Soul Food and Church

November 14, 2019 /

This is a little bit different type of “Soul Food” post today with some questions I’d REALLY love to hear your feedback on, so be sure to scroll to the bottom.

One of the best and worst things about leaving the church where we served for 30 years is that we attend a new and different church almost every week.

We’ve been to tiny church plants that meet in schools, and inner city worship spaces where we were the only couple with light skin. We’ve been to hipster gatherings in retrofitted industrial space, and liturgical worship in cathedrals.

We’ve seen that there is tons of room for many solid, biblical expressions of faith. The Body of Christ is amazing and there’s lots to celebrate about His work around the world! We are inspired by different creative practices we love. But we’ve also had the truth reinforced that there is no perfect church!

There is so much controversy and constructive conversation about church these days.

We read…

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:24-25

But how many of you have heard (or spoken!) statements like these:

  • “I’ve been hurt by the church and I won’t go back.”
  • “With 24/7 online worship, podcasts with world-class speakers, and small groups, is traditional church necessary?”
  • “People in the church are hypocrites.”
  • “My kids are grown. I don’t need the church to be spiritual.”

Some friends of ours have left the church they were attending and aren’t going anywhere now. When we asked them why they said, “We worked our tails off to engage and make friends, but just didn’t seem to get any response so we gave up. We couldn’t make community happen.”

So, two questions I’m thinking about today…

  1. Is it important to attend a brick and mortar church regularly?
  2. What are legitimate reasons to seek out a different church?

Recently, I’ve had several different people ask me about changing churches. It might be theological concerns, or a vague sense that the Spirit is absent, or lack of programs that meet their needs. I passed along the article I’m linking below, and also offered these thoughts:

You need to discern what you believe the biblical “non-negotiables” are, and what falls into the category of “disputable matters” (Romans 14:1) – places where you may disagree, but you understand there is room for people to land on either side of the theological spectrum. There is no perfect church where you’ll agree with everything, but if you go to church and feel like you are leaving mad, or arguing in your head with what is said each week, another faith community may be a better fit for you.

If you’re considering changing churches, this is a good read: Three Things to Consider Before Leaving Your Church

I’ve written a bunch about this in the past. You might want to check out Missing Church.

Scott Sauls makes his case for attending/being part of a church here.

And we see convicting posts about being the church, like these on Instagram.

I’m really interested in your feedback on this!

  • Do you attend a brick and mortar church? If so, how regularly?
  • What are your reasons for going to church or not on a given Sunday, honestly??

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

When Your Waiting is Wearying

January 23, 2019 /

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.

Psalm 62:5

All waiting is hard. Some waits are more brutal than others.

It’s 7:30 a.m. in Florida as I write this. My sweet 88 and 85 year old parents are stuck in the Detroit airport on their way home from visiting us here. There is ice and snow pelting the Midwest. Oh, January.

Mom and Dad are “sleeping” in black vinyl and chrome airport seats not designed for comfort. They have been there since 5:00 p.m. last night when their connecting flight to Chicago was cancelled. The rescheduled flight has been pushed later and later to the point that they probably would get home quicker if they bought boots and walked.

They are waiting, waiting, waiting. But here’s the thing. We know that at some point, a flight will take off, carrying them from Detroit to Chicago. They are waiting with a sure end.

Also this morning as I’m writing, I jump up every few seconds to catch the sun as it lifts through the clouds above the Atlantic Ocean. I wait for the sunrise. I am waiting with a sure end.

Our friend Alyssa was pregnant, waiting a week past her due date, but the doctors comforted her, saying at some point her baby girl would be born. It was a sure thing.

However, as Emily P. Freeman says, “All waiting is not created equal. This I know for sure.”

I have other friends who are waiting without a certain end.

One who is waiting to get pregnant.

One who is waiting for healing.

One who is waiting to meet the man who she longs to marry.

There is no clear picture of the end. No guarantee that at some point someone official will call your number, and say “Ok, it’s time. You’re done waiting for exactly what you want.”

Years ago I was waiting for a job, a title, a paycheck – validation that my calling was legit. That job never came. What I learned was that what I was waiting for wasn’t as important as Who I was waiting with.

Who > What  

When my focus is on Emmanuel, God with me, I am reminded that He loves me more than I can imagine.

I am assured that He will work all things together for good as I seek Him in the waiting.

I am secure in my identity as a cherished child of His regardless of circumstances.

I am prompted to consider that His perspective is greater than mine, His purposes will prevail.

I am a terrible wait-er. Much easier for me to write this than to practice it. But practice we must.

So, today if you are weary of waiting, take a deep breath.

Breathe in the nearness of your friend Jesus who waits with you.

I started thinking about this prompted by Emily P. Freeman. If you’d like more on waiting, check out her wonderful podcast, The Next Right Thing.

Missing Church

December 20, 2018 /

When I was growing up we never missed church.

Really.

I’m sure we must have had one week when someone was sick, but I honestly don’t remember it. “Going to church” was a commitment. It was a given.

Yeah, I know “church” isn’t just a place. It’s not the building.  The New Testament word for “church” is ekklesia, which means “the called out ones.” WE are the church.

But our God cares about places too. He is a God of rhythms, rituals, and rocks. He commanded the Israelites to build a tabernacle, a temple, and to pile stones in specific places so they wouldn’t forget His faithfulness or formation of them. I think “going to church” as an act of worship, is significant. When we “miss church” we miss something more than an item on our to-do list.

In this season of “lasts” for John and I as we anticipate leaving ministry at CPC,  I want to be at church every possible chance I get. I want to be present to all the people in this community I love, and present to God at the same time.

I want to be greeted by Debbie at the door of the Great Room, and sit in “my” pew, and remember all the marking moments I’ve experienced here. I want to serve communion, and receive it too. I want to snag one of Sharon’s famous cookies at the receptionist’s desk when she works on Wednesdays. I want to see Noel in the Bobcat shoveling snow, and hear Jane practicing the organ. I want to eavesdrop as Michelle patiently helps someone who is new and lost and has wandered into the bookstore. I want to hold a baby at Mom’s Morning and pray with the Catalyst community. I want to hug Dinny at the 9:30 service, and give Betsy a kiss in her wheelchair at the 11:00. I want to bring dinner to Families Moving Forward and I want to be run down by rambunctious teens in the hallway on a Wednesday night, and I want to listen as Heather leads the littles in choir song.

I don’t want to miss church. 

Each of these things by themselves is not dramatically significant. But together, like dots of color in an impressionist painting, they create a picture of how God has been forming me.  

Like one of my favorite verses says, “Do not despise the day of small things.” (Zechariah 4:10)

As much as I crave being present in the actual church building these days, it’s rarely convenient to go to church. I may be tired, or want to meet friends for brunch, or there’s snow (dontcha know). But in going at a time I don’t choose, maybe I cooperate with God in my formation as well as worship Him.

The people who sit around me in the pews aren’t always people who are easy for me to love. I may run into someone who’s been super critical, or has different political leanings than I do, or is awkward to talk to. Maybe by not missing church Jesus forms me into a tiny bit more gracious, empathetic person.

The songs we sing aren’t always my favorites. There may be fussy toddlers who are distracting, and sometimes I would rather be making my to-do list instead of trying to listen for God’s Word to me. Sometimes the prayers go too long or the silence is too short. But perhaps Jesus is using these to form patience, or tolerance, or humility in me.

The inconveniences of “going to church”  are exactly the reasons that it’s important for me not to miss. Because bit by bit, God is going to use these things to make me more like Him if I pay attention.

Church isn’t easy. It takes patience and prayer and perseverance. We’re broken people with rough edges, rubbing against each other as we try to follow Jesus. But God uses this proximity to each other and to Him, to create something beautiful.

As John and I transition out of ministry at CPC, we won’t miss church on Sundays (we’ll go to church somewhere!), but we’ll sure miss this church where God has showed up and showed off, and formed us into the people we are today. 

How to Find a Mentor

March 20, 2018 /

I hear so often these days from young women who would love to have a spiritual mentor. They say they want someone to “pour into” them. Some don’t have a great relationship with their mom, but most just long for another voice from someone a little further into the story God is writing with their life.

I’ve never had a “formal” mentor who met with me regularly and had an agenda, but I have had relationships with women who have greatly impacted my life. The relationships that I have with young women each look very different from each other. One wants challenge and to read or study together. Another wants parenting encouragement. A third is looking mostly for guidance about discerning God’s will as a newer Christian.

What if you want to be a mentor, or find a mentor?

Continue reading

What Do Formation and Escape Have to Do With You?

February 4, 2018 /

As I write this, I’m sitting in an airport lounge in Seoul, Korea.

We’ve been in the air over 17 hours and have 5 more to go in order to reach Hanoi, Vietnam, our destination.  I have something to drink, and a soft chair, and an internet connection, and I’m blessed to be heading to see the work of God in a new part of the world (to me). This is the best case scenario.

Still, travel represents one of the everyday experiences God can use for transformation. When we travel, so much is out of our control.

Think cancelled flights, lost luggage, crying babies, delays, and slow people who clog the TSA lines.

It doesn’t matter if it’s international travel, or going to Target with two toddlers in tow, our formation often comes in situations we want to escape from.

I think of another “traveler” – Moses – and his “toddlers”, the Israelites. If he had had his choice he probably would have gone it alone, and preferred straight line from Egypt to the Promised Land, bypassing the 40 years in the desert wandering thing.

When the Israelites are being difficult, Moses says, “What am I to do with these people?” Which is exactly the question you may be asking today.

Continue reading

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