Tag: spirit stretch friday (Page 3 of 3)

The Spiritual Discipline of Plan B

February 10, 2012 /

Ice cubes.  6 small potatoes.  A get-well card.

Sometimes in line at the grocery store don’t you feel like the check-out folks are wondering, “What’s she really up to??”

In this case, each item represented “Plan B” on a day that screamed “I live a PLAN B LIFE!” in big and small ways.

  • The ice cubes were for our broken ice maker.
  • The potatoes for a recipe gone wrong.
  • The card for a friend having a double mastectomy.

But this was just a small glimpse of bigger realities of disappointments and losses that got me asking questions like:

  • Lord, why is everyone else always in control and why do I never get my way?  (Clearly no Theresa of Avila here!)
  • Where are You in this and what are You trying to teach me?  Submission?  Humility?  Trust in your redemptive power? (Could I have Door 2 instead please?)
  • Is there anyone not living a “Plan B” life?  (Hard for me to think of anyone, but then I didn’t really want to think about anyone else cuz this was all about ME!)
  • How did Your Bible guys handle Plan B’s?  (Moses, David, Abraham, Paul…wow, a lot of Plan B’s)

Somehow, the most important Plan B discipline for the Bible guys seemed to be leaning in.  Not understanding necessarily.  Not having 1-2-3 answers.  But having the faith to say, “I choose to believe in you, God, more than this disappointment.”

Perhaps the spiritual discipline of Plan B involves giving up the illusion of control…giving up trying to write our own story and letting God write His story through us.

Or this…One line stood out in my Bible reading yesterday morning…”Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?…How much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him?” (Mt.7)  I wonder how often God’s bread just looks like a stone to me because I think I know better than Him how my good gift should appear.  Part of the discipline of Plan B seems to be trusting in God’s goodness...His identity even when we can’t see or understand His activity.

Clearly I don’t have this figured out.  This is just me, wrestling with God after a Plan B day in a Plan B life.

I like to have a plan for everything.  And like all people, I like the plan to go my way.  Plan B is not my strong suit, but maybe it is actually my sweet spot (and yours), because it puts me where God wants me, needing to lean into Him.  For His grace.  His presence.  His power.  His understanding.

What’s your Plan B situation?  What are you learning in it about spiritual discipline?

A resource you might want to pick up if you’re struggling with this is Pete Wilson’s book titled Plan B!

Chariots or “Likes”?

January 27, 2012 /

A friend of mine has 52,216 followers on Twitter.  Another has 36,333.

Last time I looked, I had 42 :).

That doesn’t bother me, but this on another friend’s blog…

Hmmm… Deep breath.

There are days when I’m humming along, feeling pretty good, and then, even accidentally sometimes, I’ll see a number, and I turn small and envious, and discontent.

I’m embarrassed to admit this, but am I the only one?  Which numbers affect your sense of well-being?    Number of dates you’ve had in the last year?  The number on your scale?  Number of days since your kids called?  Number of sales? Number of friends on Facebook?

So Monday I read, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.”  Ps. 20:7

I don’t know about you, but there aren’t many horses or chariots in my neighborhood, so it is not a temptation for me to trust that Charlton Heston is going to come careening down my street, whip in hand, vanquishing all my foes, cleaning up all my insecurities.

But there IS the temptation to trust in other things.

I’m wondering…if this verse were written today (no, I’m not changing scripture, just wondering) might it read:

“Some trust in ‘followers’,  ‘likes’, ‘hits’, ‘friends’ and full email boxes, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.”

But here’s a hard question.  What does that look like?  Trusting in God?  And not being derailed by either praise or the lack of it?

How do I resist having praise go straight to my head and criticism straight to my heart?

A couple of years ago I learned about a “Welcoming Prayer”, originated by Mary Mrozowski, that I have adapted and personalized for my own use most mornings.  Maybe part of trusting God is reminding ourselves and preparing for the battle we face each day.

Here’s my version of the Welcoming Prayer, prayed with hands open upwards:

Holy Spirit,  Welcome.

I let go of my need for affirmation and approval…

I let go of my need for recognition from…(This is the most important part for me. I insert here, specific people or places I’m tempted to look to for approval)

Holy Spirit, Welcome.

I let go of my need for power and control…

I let go of my need to change…(I insert here, specific people or situations I’m tempted to try to control)

Holy Spirit, Welcome.

Find rest my soul, in God alone.
For my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
He is my fortress; I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
He is my mighty rock, my refuge. Psalm 62:5-7

Lord, help me to be a follower instead of seeking followers.  You are enough.

Which derails you most often? Praise or the lack of it?

Wile E. Coyote and Fixing January, part 2

January 20, 2012 /

Last Friday I wrote about Wile E. Coyote and Fixing January .  January and I still have challenging relationship, but I’ve been trying to affirm her where I can.  You know, cuz that’s what Jesus would do.   But our counselor says we’ve got a long way to go.  I’ve been working at the practice of being thankful, but I’ve also had some other thoughts (And so have you!  Check out the good ideas in the comments on the original post).

I’ve been thinking about one of my favorite axioms from Mark Batterson.

Change of pace + Change of place = Change of perspective

True that.

Not many of us are able to apply this by taking a vacation on a beach in Mexico, but I’ve been trying to be creative by shaking things up a bit.

Here are some of the things I’m trying.

1.  New Experiences.  John and I got a groupon and have been taking dance lessons with some friends of ours.  Hysterical.  Not only have we laughed our heads off, I’ve been reminded how much I like control, and have been comforted by the fact that this may be the one thing I can do that John can’t.  Well, actually he just can’t do it worse than I can’t do it.  It’s humbling and healthy for both of us to laugh at ourselves.

2.  New Relationships.  Ok, this one is more for me than John cuz he’s an introvert and doesn’t really like people, but we each have met a ton of young couples at our church this fall.  I met some.  He met others.  None of them really knew each other.  We wanted to help them connect and get to know them better so last weekend we invited them to a “Come to Cook” dinner where everyone pitched in on teams to pull the meal together.  People are always more comfortable when they have a job to do so it was so much fun!

3.  New Practices.  This fall I got involved in helping facilitate the Willow Creek Association online courses called LIFT  (Leadership Intensives for Transformation).  I can’t recommend these highly enough.  If you want huge value for your investment, check these out.  They are mostly 7 week courses around topics of leadership and spiritual formation.  You receive an assignment each Monday that may include watching a video, doing a self-assessment, reading an article, and interacting online around several application/discussion questions.  The total time investment each week is only 2 hours and you can fit it in whenever it’s convenient for you!  Most classes also include a couple of virtual classroom experiences when everyone is online at the same time, interacting around a video teaching.  I’ll be facilitating the Leading for Results class that was created, and is taught by Henry Cloud around his book, Integrity.  It starts February 6th and it’s for EVERYONE, not just ministry leaders.  I did it for the first time this fall and thought the content was the most practical and relevant I’d seen.  I’d love to have you join in!

What about YOU?  What are the life-giving new experiences, relationships, or practices you’ve tried or want to try?  Share with us!

Wile E. Coyote and Fixing January

January 13, 2012 /

If you’re on a New Year high, victory dancing your way through January with the Rocky theme song playing in the background, high-fiving your co-workers as you check off New Year’s resolutions left and right, and trying to hide the corner of your Superman cape under your street clothes, this post is not for you.  Stop reading now.

I do think there are people who fit the above description.  And right now, in gloomy Minnesota where there is still only gray and soot and no snow, I really envy you.  But I also think that for many people there is a trajectory up and to the right from October through January 1st, and then…It gets ugly.

It goes like this:

September – “bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils”, the smell of woodsmoke and new text books

October – Autumnal pumpkinny delight, a cornicopia of color, cute kids in cowboy costumes and caramel corn (for Pete’s sake!)

November – Over the river and through the woods Americana… Family football, Thanksgiving, and turkey sandwiches

December – Anticipation and Celebration.  Twinkle lights and Jesus.  Need I say more?

January 1st – Parties, broom ball, resolutions and new beginnings

But then like Wile E. Coyote, being chased by Road Runner, we scamper lickety split straight off the cliff into thin air.  We hang there, the first week of January, look over our shoulder to the firm ground of December, and proceed to plummet into the abyss that is 2012.

Reality sets in.  You realize you actually have to DO something if you want to accomplish the resolutions you optimistically committed to and there’s an interminable winter ahead where a 3 hour football game at the end of the month is about the only mildly bright spot til…well, til Mother’s Day if you live in Minnesota.  It’s all you can do to limp along.

All that to say I’ve been a cranky pants and I’ve been trying figure out what spiritual practices might help me be more Jesusy in January (and the following 3 months if I’m honest).  I have a couple ideas but I’d be delighted to hear yours too.

My first idea is to switch the order of holidays.  October, November and December are hogging all the best holidays and what is January left with?  MLK’s birthday??  I say we move Thanksgiving to January.

Not exactly.  But kind of.  I remember hearing about a couple who was having marriage trouble and went to a counselor.  He told them to go home and all he wanted them to do was affirm 10 things about the other every day for a month.  Then come back.

“Thank you for ….”  “I like the way you…”

The couple did it, came back and had fallen in love all over again.  Problem solved. (Oh that all marital issues were that easy, eh?)

When I was teaching school we called that “self-fulfilling prophecy.”  Tell a kid enough times that he’s responsible and he’ll rise to your expectations and be responsible.

So here’s my thinking… January and I have not been on speaking terms exactly, and I’m thinking, what if we tried the practice of gratitude.  Infusing our day with as many shout outs of “Thank you!” and “Way to go!” and “Yea God!” as possible.  Has to be genuine, but you know my love of competition so I’m gonna make it a game to see if I can make January seem like November – a month of Thanksgiving.

Today I’m thankful for Katy and Maggie who always make me laugh, a body healthy enough to run this morning, my daily mocha from barista Corey, a husband who’s my favorite person in the world, and new friends coming for dinner.  What are you thankful for?

What Formed You in 2011?

December 30, 2011 /

Tuesday night was daughter Maggie’s last night at home and I asked the family what they felt had been the most formative relationship, experience or spiritual practice for each of them this past year.  Like, what has God used to mold us into people who are hopefully more like Him?

I’m thankful they’re a patient, gracious bunch and they humor me when I pose these questions from time to time (As a side note however, we have totally bombed at the Crosby family Scripture memory challenge, but that’s another story).  In answer to the formation question, what the two girls shared was related to a spiritual practice.  For my husband, John it was an experience.  How would you answer that question?

Mine was an experience too.  For me, processing loss  that I’ve experienced on a bunch of different fronts over the past few years, was what I felt God used to form a deeper understanding of His character resulting in greater peace.

As I processed the losses I struggled to trust that God was still at work on my behalf for His glory.  At one point this year I was riding my bike and in my spirit I ranted, “God I keep showing up, but it sure doesn’t feel like You are!”

And quietly, gently, I sensed the Holy Spirit respond, “Oh yes I am.”

And in that moment I realized that I was equating “showing up” with ACTION.  My way.  My time! (like immediately).

After that little interaction, God kept bringing to mind example after example to correct my misperception.

“You may have experienced loss, but…

I am at work in unseen ways like with Elisha, surrounding him with horses and chariots (2 Kings 6:15-17)

I am never late.  I have a plan like with Lazarus (John 11)

I hear and respond whether you see it right away or not like with Daniel (Daniel 10:12-13).”

“God is a God who sometimes hides Himself but never a God who absents Himself; sometimes in the dark, but never at a distance.”  Matthew Henry

We’re all works in process, right?  We’ve never arrived.  But I think my answer to “What has formed you?” would be wrestling with God in loss.  And what He seems to be forming is trust and peace.  Slowly but surely.  What about you?

As you look back on 2011 what has been the most formative relationship, experience, or spiritual practice in your life?  What do you think God desires to form in you through it?

Come Holy Spirit

December 16, 2011 /

I was maneuvering laboriously, with stops and starts, through the parking lot at Costco yesterday, thinking for the millionth time that the Costco parking lot is either an outer ring of hell or a brilliant opportunity for spiritual formation.  

As I dodged runaway giant shopping carts,

and waited for pedestrians absorbed in studying their shopping lists wandering blindly in the middle of the row,

and backed up for cars in front of me that slammed on their brakes upon spying the tell-tale white reverse lights of a car vacating a parking place they could nab…

I thought of a spiritual practice a friend of mine has been advocating.  The simple practice of saying “Come Holy Spirit” throughout the day in situations like this that require patience, understanding, and discipline beyond me.

Continue reading

Breathe

December 9, 2011 /

I really wish I liked Yoga more. It’s healthy.  And it’s so in.  But I’m not crazy about it.

Here are the only things I like about Yoga:

  • the comfy pants that are like legal pajamas,
  • the fact that you do it in a group with great people, and not, for example on a stationary bike in your basement (like a crazy introvert),
  • the corpse pose (where you lay still with soft music playing)…

And one more thing…

They remind you to breathe.  In fact, I think that’s the only part I consistently get right when I go.  I mess up all the poses.  And I can’t make myself pretzelize (is that a word?) like my friend Brooke.

But then they say, “Don’t forget to breathe.” and I think “Yes!  I’ve got that down!  Score!” (Can you tell I’m better at competitive sports than contemplative ones?)

Sometimes the best I can do at Yoga is to just keep breathing.  Sometimes in the Christmas season it seems that way also.  You too?

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One Thing that will Completely Change Your Day

December 2, 2011 /

This may sound weird, but I hope you’ll give it a chance.

What if, today, as a spiritual experiment for Spirit Stretch Friday, you tried praying for everyone you see.

I’ve told you I’m no spiritual giant (obviously!), and I don’t think I’m a good pray-er, but I’ve tried this and it’s powerful.  Formative.  Eye-opening.

You don’t know what to pray for strangers?  I know!  That’s the beauty of it!                    You have to be present,                                                                                                                               to try to enter in,                                                                                                                                to see each person as a beloved child of God as you pray for them.

Here’s what it might look like…

“Lord, please give that frazzled mom grace and patience as she deals with her kids in the grocery store.”

“For that man with the worried look, Father please give what only You can give – guidance, peace, resources.”

“Jesus remind that teenager that she is loved.  Please put someone in her life to encourage her today.”

“Lord, may this salesperson experience something of Your love and grace through me.”

When I’ve tried this, what I’ve found is that it really helps me to see each person more as I think Jesus might.  When people are rude (like someone who cuts me off in traffic), in order to pray for them it makes me think, “What must be going on in that person’s life that they are acting like that?”  It helps me to be more gracious and slow down a bit.

I know it sounds a little strange, but might you be willing to try this experiment today?    I’d love to hear what happens.

Not Kim Kardashian

November 18, 2011 /

Last week I felt pretty good.  Maybe you did too.

I was thinking, “Boy I’m glad I’m not Kim Kardashian, Rick Perry, or Joe Paterno!”  And then there’s Jerry Sandusky who, this week admitted to “Horsing around” with kids.  Each of them has had their mistakes broadcast, ridiculed, autopsied.  Their intellect, integrity, and wisdom were brought into question.

My response?  “Phew!  Glad I dodged those bullets!”

“Can’t BELIEVE they were so stupid, evil, clueless, out-of-control…”

“I would NEVER have…”

I may even have thought, “I’m thankful I’ve never pulled a “Rick Perry” on national TV, bless his heart.”

And I felt just a little better about myself, focusing on THEM.  You know THEM.  All the others who I compare myself to who are much worse than I am.

Or not.  Maybe my sins are just…different.

And more easily hidden.

What if the ugly stuff of my life (or yours) was replayed (over, and over, and over again) on the Today Show for millions to dissect and comment on what they would have done differently?

All this his has prompted me to return to an ancient prayer practice called the Jesus Prayer or the prayer of the heart.

Each time I hear something about someone else’s sin, I’m trying to use it as a prompt to pray the Jesus prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”

Have you tried this prayer practice?  I resisted it initially.  How does this help our quest to have a better self-image??  And who likes using the word SINNER??!!  But I am (and I hate to draw attention to this, but there’s a chance you might be too) And in praying this it’s a reminder that I’m dependent on the reconciling work of Jesus.  Just like Kim.  Stretching muscles of humility, centering, worship…

I haven’t bailed on my marriage, but I’ve bailed on other commitments.  Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

I haven’t forgotten key components of my economic strategy on national television, but I’ve gotten tons of other stuff wrong.  Lord have mercy.

I haven’t covered up sexual sin, but I haven’t always confronted injustice.  Lord have mercy.

Thankfully, at least this week, my sins aren’t being played on national television, but I’m just as in need of God’s mercy and Psalm 103:11-12 reassures me and all of us.  “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

What do you think of this?  Is the Jesus prayer easy or hard for you?

Necessary Endings?

November 11, 2011 /

One of the most stretching things for my spirit is letting go.  I’m reflecting, in this season on change, and death, and release.  And the hope of new seasons.  Will you join me?  Praying today, with hands open, palms down, relinquishing the dead things I may be clinging to.  Shame, control, past pain, unhealthy relationships…thankful that God is a God of life and hope.  A God who changes old to new.

“Oh God of endings,                                                                                                                                                            you promised to be with me always,                                                                                    even to the end of time.                                                                                                        Move with me now in these occasions of last things, of shivering vulnerabilities and letting go…

…Be with me in my end of things,

dead ways,
 dead words,                                                                                                                                   dead self I hold so tightly,                                                                                                        defend so blindly,                                                                                                                          fear losing so frantically…”                                                                                                         Excerpt from Guerillas of Grace by Ted Loder

 

 

This day I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.  Now choose life so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him.  For the Lord is your life.” Deut. 30:19-20.

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