Tag: relationship

Are You Settling For Second-hand Jesus?

Recently, my husband and I were reunited in London after he had been golfing for a week with his brothers in Ireland. We had so much to catch up on – me about my time in London, and he about his time in Ireland.

He enthusiastically tried to describe all he had experienced – the vibrant green of the hills, the foggy drizzle, the cliffs over the ocean (and each golf shot :)). I appreciated his description, but it just wasn’t the same as experiencing it first-hand.

The next morning it’s zero dark thirty before the birds are up. I sit with my phone, earbuds, laptop, and Bible. A grande skim mocha, now lukewarm is also next to me on the table at the coffee shop. I stretch and consider journaling a couple of quotes.

I watch a video clip of Craig Groeschel teaching on anxiety, read the words of Tim Keller on praise, listen to an audio teaching from an obscure theologian, scroll through scriptural inspiration from others on Instagram, and then the Holy Spirit whispers, “Are the words I spoke to them, distracting you from the words I want to speak to you this morning? Are you settling for a second-hand relationship with me?”

ARRGHHH! Whaaat? You mean like hearing my husband describe his experience in Ireland, or Iike hearing about freshly baked bread, but not being able to smell it or bite into a piece with a crusty outside, and soft, warm, buttery inside?

Second-hand experiences are like second-hand faith.

Does any of this sound like something you’d say or feel?

  • I don’t have TIME for ANYTHING except keeping my kids alive! If Jesus is going to talk to me directly He’s going to have to shout over the noise of toddlers.
  • I love taking notes on sermons and filling in the blanks for my Bible study. I love getting the “right” answers. It gives me such a feeling of accomplishment without doing the work of figuring out the Bible!
  • Beth Moore and Lysa TerKeurst are so much better at coming up with insights into God’s Word than I am! I really like the ease of reading their summary of a passage in my devotional and how they’re applying it.

There isn’t anything wrong with learning from others.

In 2 Timothy 1:5 we see the value of a legacy of faith – mentors who inspire and teach us. Paul writes, 

“I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.”

But we can’t just live off of someone else’s story. We each need a first-hand experience of God.

We see the powerful effect of spending time with Jesus in Acts 4:13,

“When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.”

Wow! The world could TELL that these guys had spent time with Jesus!

Yep, God appeared to biggies like Moses (Exodus 3:5), but he also showed up and spoke to Hagar! He showed up for Hagar! An outcast in the desert! (Genesis 16). And the Samaritan woman at the well! (John 4) Similar situation, different God-story.

He walked with Abraham, wrestled with Jacob, whispered to Elijah, argued with Job, and struck Paul blind to get his attention. 

 As I think about what marked these people with first-hand faith, I can think of two important qualities that characterized their lives.

  1. They were relational.  They talked and listened to God.  Ever noticed how many times in the Old Testament it says someone “inquired of the Lord”?  Maybe your first-hand faith step is to read a small portion of Scripture and then to be still and then say “Come Holy Spirit…speak, prompt, enlighten me this day in response to what I’ve read.” 
  2. They were responsive. Because they got to know God and His character, they had the faith to respond to His direction. They could take big steps of faith because they knew a big God. As you spend time with God, note specifically what you observe about His character that can strengthen and encourage you to obey.

Isn’t it incredibly exciting that the story God has scripted for you and me isn’t inferior to Joshua’s or Hannah’s or Ruth’s or Lysa TerKeurst’s or Craig Groeschel’s, or anyone’s?! Each of us can have the personal, first-hand relationship with God that they did.

Whose faith inspires you?  What’s one small or courageous step you can take today to experience a first-hand faith?

When You Pray and it Doesn’t “Work”

For 6 months I got used to waking in the middle of the night, prompted to pray for my brother, who was fighting cancer. I prayed with many others for healing. I prayed specifically, passionately and with complete faith in God’s power.

He died July 18th.

You’ve had a similar experience? Yeah, I thought so.

These days I can get downright snippy with God. Now I wake in the night, or my mind turns to Him through the day and I sometimes think, “Why bother? Why talk to God about the lesser things when He did not seem to care enough to fix this great big thing?”IMG_1403

Of course I know some of the “right” theological answers to this question.

Yes, David was ultimately healed and is alive and whole and free of pain with Jesus.

Yes, we live in a broken world and illness and death are a consequence of the fall…God is sovereign…Our minds are too small to grasp His grander plans…He will cause ALL things to work together for good to those who love Him…He is more concerned about our character than our comfort… Blah blah blah…

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Sometimes when you FEEL in the “depths of despair” as Anne of Green Gables would say, you don’t care about the words.

But I keep praying. I keep talking to God and I’ll tell you why.

I keep praying for the same reason a child keeps talking to her parents after she hasn’t gotten her way.

There’s something deep inside me that still knows that God loves me and I am drawn to Him.

There is something in me that knows there is something bigger going on.

Prayer doesn’t “work” in the way we’d like it to. It doesn’t “work” as in we pray to get what we want. We pray to get what God wants.

I think we make the mistake of seeing prayer as transactional, when it’s primarily relational.

I still don’t know what to do with those verses that exhort us to ask and receive, be the widow badgering the judge, have faith to move mountains, but I can get on-board with this thought from Tim Keller.

We can be sure our prayers are answered precisely in the way we would want them to be answered if we knew everything God knows. Tim Keller

Prayer makes more sense to me when I envision myself in a boat tethered to the shore (God) and prayer is the process by which I pull myself to it/Him – pull my will in line with His.

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Still, I often feel tossed around by the huge waves of confusion. I squint to even see the shore, desperately trying to hold on to the rope that tethers me to to Truth. I have been reading Philip Yancey’s book on prayer and find I’m in good company.

“The only final solution to unanswered prayer is Paul’s explanation to the Corinthians: ‘For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.’ No human being, no matter how wise or how spiritual, can interpret the ways of God, explaining why one miracle and not another, why an apparent intervention here and not there. Along with the apostle Paul, we can only wait, and trust.” Philip Yancey

What has your experience been with understanding prayer?

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Checking Jesus off my List

Yesterday morning I tried to check Jesus off my to-do list.

This happens in seasons of stress and busyness (are there any seasons of not-stress-and-busyness??).  I check him off by giving Him a nod (Read: glance at a paragraph of a devotional or toss up a “bless so-and-so”).  Check.  Done.  Moving on to important stuff.

The thing is, when I do that, it’s kind of like being in the “fun” house at the circus.  Deadlines, people, circumstances become distorted like in those crazy mirrors – scarier than they really are.  My perspective is skewed.

I feel the fear of failure.

I feel the pressure of performance, not the presence of Jesus.

I miss the sacred moments.  I miss the small mercies to be thankful for.

But yesterday Jesus didn’t seem to want to remain as just a checkmark.  He graciously kept showing up in my day, reminding me that He goes before me and behind me (Isaiah 52:12b).

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Praying Present

The other day I prayed a lot.

But not at all.

Not really.

I journalled thoughts kind of aimed at God like a wad of paper flipped haphazardly over my shoulder towards the trash can.

I repeated the words of the Lord’s Prayer in church along with everyone else.  Really fast like in a race.

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Stupid Prayers?

I remember an acquaintance of ours once saying “So-and-so fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.”

Some days I think he might say that about me.

Today I was driving home from the grocery store and all of a sudden I realized that I was praying that something would “happen” so that the couple who booked the wedding photographer that Maggie and Austin want would…you knowcancel.

Now, I didn’t pray that the couple who booked him would be struck dead or break up or anything.  But still, it was kind of like I was asking the godfather to “fix” a basketball game or something.

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And then I shook myself as I turned the corner at the stoplight and thought “I’m a terrible human being!  That’s such a stupid prayer!  I should be praying for Obama, Africa, or global warming.”

Do you think “stupid” is a word in God’s vocabulary?  Is there such a thing as a “stupid prayer”?

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