Tag: reflection

4 Things to do When You’re Out of Control

March 23, 2020 /

I walked to my Starbucks the other day, feeling all sunshiny and full of hope for the one thing I could still count on in our time of chaos, and they are closed indefinitely. (Is God still on His throne??!!)

We were supposed to fly to Chicago last weekend to see my parents, but our flight was cancelled.

I haven’t bought toilet paper in a month and now there is none to be found. I heard a podcast the other day highlighting the different kinds of leaves to use if you run out of toilet paper!

A friend had a birthday this week and I couldn’t give her a hug.

Most of us are planners, amiright?

We plan to go to the gym while the kids are in school. We plan a vacation for Spring Break. We choose to meet friends for coffee, or play tennis, or watch the Master’s golf tournament on T.V.

We love doing what we want, when we want, with no interference.

During this season when nothing is going as we planned and all our illusions of control have been shattered, I think it’s important to pay attention to how we’re responding.

How is loss of control affecting you?

Do you notice little power struggles between you and family members becoming intensified?

Are everyday preferences a battle ground to exert control when so much has been taken away?

John likes complete darkness watching T.V. and low lighting all of the time. I like light, and when most of the other choices in my life have been taken away, this tiny little thing becomes more important.

I realize subconsciously I’m thinking, “I MAY NOT HAVE TOILET PAPER, BUT I WILL HAVE LIGHT DARNIT!”

What are some things we can do to assure that we’ll come out the other side of this better human beings than we were before?

1.Pay attention to what triggers you and be curious. Why is this bugging me? How important is it?

2.Get creative about the choices you DO have! Find ways to chose connection, service, and fun! Maggie and Austin did a virtual Happy Hour and Bingo night with friends. Folks with margin are reading books on video to give parents with restless kids a break.

3.Create a breath prayer for those times when you feel triggered by “out of control” feelings. All you do to create a breath prayer is choose a name for God that is important to you in this season. Breathe it in. Then breathe out a phrase that sums up what you need.

Lately mine has been: “Prince of Peace, settle me down.”

4.Gain perspective by reflecting on all the ways God has been faithful in the past – Guidance? Provision? Course correction? Say a prayer of praise. Look at Psalm 77 for an encouraging model of honesty and choice.

What’s been helpful to you during this time of change, loss, and uncertainty?

I’ve been posting very brief devotional thoughts on my Instagram Stories, and continuing to try to bring joy, encouragement and inspiration on my feed. I’d love to hear from you there!

How Paying Attention Can Transform You

April 15, 2019 /

Every once in awhile one of the tennis pros who is trying to teach me will stand behind me as I serve and take a video of me on his phone. Then (and this is the really hard part!) HE’LL MAKE ME WATCH IT!

He’ll slow it down and show frame by frame what I look like, pointing out when my feet and hands and arms are in the right position, and when they are off (which is a lot of the time!).

The other day our favorite golf pro, Sarah, did this with John.

Most of us would say we want to be more self-aware, but it can be painful when blind-spots are revealed, amIright?

Even David, known as “a man after God’s own heart” was blind to his sin and prayed,

Test me, Lord, and try me,
    examine my heart and my mind;
 for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love
    and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.

Psalm 26:2-3

Ignatius of Loyola who founded the Jesuits, created a practice called the Examen. It’s a technique of prayerful reflection, looking back over your day in order to discern times of “consolation” – when we sensed God’s pleasure, and times of “desolation”, when we turned away from Him.

The Examen is like watching a video of your day, frame by frame and noticing the presence of God.

Here are the steps.

  • RECOGNIZE (God’s presence) I want to look at my day with God’s eyes, not just my own.
  • REJOICE – The day I have lived is a gift from God. Thank Him.
  • REVIEW – Carefully review the day, guided by the Holy Spirit, looking for times when I sensed the joy of the Lord, or the absence of the life He desires for me.
  • REPENT – Face the places I ignored, or turned away from God and ask forgiveness
  • RECALIBRATE – I ask God to help me cooperate with His work in and through me in the coming day.

So here’s briefly what the Examen looked like in my life the other day.

I praised God for the amazing birdsongs I heard, for bright pink flowers and sunset, and all of His creation…Text exchanges from our daughters that brought joy and life, an encouraging verse from His Word…

I recognized God’s pleasure and presence as I wrote a note of encouragement, when I served my husband by taking out the trash, when a friend and I walked together, sharing our hearts…

I was convicted that I talked way too much with a friend, was self-centered in a relationship, and was impatient with John. I was intolerant of old, slow people who bear the image of Jesus. I asked forgiveness.

I asked God to help me be more aware of the Imago Dei in everyone I encounter. I asked Him to help me think of my own desires less, and serve others.

What do you think? Maybe try it when you get into bed tonight?

A Faith that Carries Out

January 2, 2017 /

It’s New Year’s Day weekend and everyone in ministry is very tired. Every parent is tired. Every salesperson is tired. Maybe everyone everywhere is a little tired and ready to get back to a predictable routine. We love the sparkle and special of the Christmas season, but we’re ready to cross over into 2017.

Even if we may feel a little bit like this:

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Sunday I had the privilege of preaching at our church and I loved diving into the story of Joshua leading the Israelites across the Jordan river in Joshua 1-4.

We all have Jordan moments and we’re all at a crossing of sorts as we go into 2017. There is lots to learn from Joshua in this account, but one thing l thought I’d share with you is from Joshua 4:2

When the whole nation was finally across, God spoke to Joshua: “Select twelve men from the people, a man from each tribe, and tell them, ‘From right here, the middle of the Jordan where the feet of the priests are standing firm, take twelve stones. Carry them across with you and set them down in the place where you camp tonight.’”

After they have prepared,

after the Ark, representing the presence of the Lord has gone ahead

after the waters of the Jordan have been pulled back,

after the Israelites have crossed over,

God sends them back to carry out 12 stones. He has them pile those 12 stones as a memorial – a faith that points back to God’s faithfulness.

Think about what you are carrying out of 2016. 

Think back over each month. What might God want you to go back and remember to take out?

Resilience? Trust? Patience? Strength?

Are there experiences that could be millstones that God wants to make into stepping stones?

Are there things that could be stumbling blocks that God wants to make into building blocks?

Are there things you may have a tendency to trip over that God wants you to triumph over with His help?

Maybe talk to Him about all these stones. And embrace a faith that carries out.

One Tool For Growth in 2015

January 2, 2015 /

I know, I know…it’s almost New Year’s Eve so it must be time for another one of my “journaling is so valuable” posts.  Some of you will delete as soon as you see the word “journal”, just like me when I read “gluten-free” or “ab crunches”.  Just not gonna go there.

But wait! Hold on just a minute (or 5 as the case may be).  There’s a new resource I want to tell you about that is NOT these: Continue reading

What to do When You Want to Flip off the Other Guy

September 19, 2014 /

I was stuck in a single lane of traffic, late for a meeting, with a car in front of me from Rhode Island and a driver who couldn’t decide which way she wanted to turn (bless her heart).  AAARRRRGGHHH!  I found myself, once again bemoaning the fact that Christians don’t seem to have acceptable hand gestures for situations like this.

My road rage was just one of the times recently that I’ve noticed an increase in irritability, and impatience.  My “one word” for this year is “choose life”, but recently I started to notice a pattern of “not life” and needed to address it.

Like my friend says, I’m more of a “jet fuel drinker” than a “candle-lighter”.  I realized that in a summer of activity I had abandoned some of the spiritual practices that feed my soul.  I naturally resist the slower more contemplative disciplines of life with Jesus, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Continue reading

One Word and Clark Griswold

December 13, 2013 /

Back in January, (yep, it’s been a long time) we talked about choosing One Word for 2013 – a word that God might desire to expand in our life…grow us into.

 My word was Fearless, which gave birth to Fearless Fridays, because even if that wasn’t your word, we all deal with Fear in various forms.  

In January I also posted some thoughts from my brother, David, on this.  So the other day I asked him for an update.

I’d love to hear from you too!  What has your experience been with your One Word (if you identified one)?  If you didn’t, looking back now, what is one word that would summarize your 2013?  Post your thoughts in the comment section!

Continue reading

The One Word that Might Change Your 2013

January 4, 2013 /

I’ve been reading and listening to boat loads of advice in the past two weeks on resolutions, goals, and all things to make the 2013 me stronger, more successful, and more godly (all with a flatter tummy of course).

You too?  Feeling a little overwhelmed?

Some advocate shorter term goals and then evaluation and refinement, instead of setting big year-long goals.  I like that.

Others suggest making a “stop” list.  Yeah, I like that too.

And others admonish us to start and end our goal-setting with prayer.  Yep.  Good word.

But the newish “in” thing seems to be choosing ONE WORD for the year.

Trashing a list of resolutions and instead focusing on one word, one word to live into with God for the year.

Continue reading

What Do You Do New Year’s Eve Morning?

December 31, 2012 /

New Year’s Eve morning is a quiet one at Starbucks.  We’re reading backwards.

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Every year, during the week between Christmas and New Year’s day, my husband John and I make a practice of reading back over our journals from the past year.  As we do we try to pay attention to themes that God might be impressing on us.  We look for holy moments of His faithfulness to be thankful for, and answered prayer.  We try to read between the lines for blind spots we may be missing.

This is kind of like doing a yearly Examen.  Looking for the activity of God.  I’ve shared before that I’m spiritually ADD.  If I don’t make a discipline of paying attention, I’m like the spacey traveler who perpetually makes a wrong turn and all of a sudden looks around wondering how they got where they are.

A couple of weeks ago I heard about a study that was done on 300 of history’s greatest minds from a wide variety of disciplines.  The researcher, Catherine Cox, found one common theme among them.  They all kept a journal of one kind or another!

Yeah, I know, I’ve written before about how journaling isn’t for everyone, but today, at this dividing line between old and new, maybe consider looking back over 2012 and…

Identify three experiences or choices that have been life-giving this past year…where you have seen the activity of God.

And three places where perhaps you’ve neglected to seek God’s direction, forgiveness, or the power to reconcile.

Sharing these with someone else may make it more meaningful.  For me, I’m noticing the “with God” life this past year most clearly in places where I’ve stepped out, responding to invitations in new areas I would never would have dreamed up on my own (like in the areas of advocacy and reconciliation – so outside my comfort zone!).   I’d love to hear what you see as you look back over the year!

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