Tag: questions (Page 1 of 2)

Two Important Questions to Ask of People Different From Us

January 6, 2020 /

Some things are just tough.

Like figuring out why people are fascinated with the Kardashians, or how to fold fitted sheets, or what makes some people able to eat a kabillion Trader Joe’s dark chocolate covered almonds with sea salt and not gain a pound.

Or, you know…how to achieve peace between all the people in all the places.

When it comes to the Middle East I keep wanting to say, “Lord I’m a bear of Very Little Brain” like Winnie the Pooh.

I have a long way to go, but God is patient and often a theme gradually emerges.

The truest thing I’m learning about peace is that keeping people at a distance makes it easy to demonize them.

But coming close topples the walls of misunderstanding.

This morning God reinforced this as I re-read the story of when God comes close to Hagar.

Sarah, wife of Abraham, mistreated Hagar, the surrogate “wife” who runs away into the desert, (Sounds like “Real Wives of the Middle East”, right?)

Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar each have a story.  Each are seen and loved by God. But they have trouble seeing and loving each other.

In the desert and in her pain, God meets Hagar and models something I’m thinking I can learn from (even with my little bear brain).

Even though Abraham and Sarah only call Hagar “servant”, God calls her by name.

He sees her!  (16:13)

And He asks her two questions:

Where have you come from?

and

Where are you going?

Traveling in the Middle East I’ve learned that everyone has a story of injustices that have happened in the past, and everyone is trying to hold on to their hopes for a future.

As we try to draw close and understand those who are different from us, whether it’s Israeli’s and Palestinians or Republicans and Democrats, gay and straight, I wonder if learning someone’s name, looking them in the eye and asking them questions like these is a place to start…

Who might you ask today:  Where have you come from?  Where do you want to go?

 

One Key to Racial Reconciliation

October 17, 2016 /

This weekend a video went viral of a confrontation between a policeman in our town and a young African American. As hard as it is to watch, John and I have viewed it several times. We’ve prayed, and reflected, and read the many articles and responses.

(Warning – graphic language)

Everyone watches through a certain lens, with particular baggage, expectations, and bias.

People are quick to take sides. To want to say this person was RIGHT and this person was WRONG.

But what if issues like racial tension became less about one-upmanship and more about relationship? 

What if our posture was more one of humility, curiosity, and respect towards those different from us?

As I’ve reflected on this, I really think one of the keys to racial reconciliation is that we ask more questions, and listen longer than is comfortable.

I wonder how this cop and this young black man would answer these questions about the incident:

  • How did you feel during this experience and why?
  • What were you thinking? What motivated you to respond the way you did?
  • What, if anything might you do differently if you were to have a “do over”?

Whoever’s “side” we gravitate towards initially, what if we were to listen carefully to “the other’s” answers and ask more questions?

What if the cop were to invite the young man out for coffee and just listen?

What if the cop were to listen deeply to the young man’s answers with respect and without defensiveness?

What if the young man were to listen deeply to the cop’s perspective?

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. 1 Cor. 13

Three Questions to Ask When God Doesn’t Make Sense

January 18, 2016 /

It was January cold. I was 14-years-old and a brand new Christian, bravely bubbling over with faith and excitement about Jesus, reading my cool Bible and believing and praying.

Unknown

My friends were new to this Jesus too. Together faith was a daily adventure of new discoveries.

One frigid Friday night, we were bouncing along on a yellow school bus with our youth group down dark rural roads  heading to a ski weekend on the slopes of what pass for “mountains” in northern Wisconsin.

Jostling, laughing, gossiping, singing in the back of the bus, we were having a great time til someone bumped into me and a contact popped out of my eye onto the dark, sooty grit below our feet.

This is not a crisis except if you’re a teenage girl who wouldn’t be caught dead in glasses. (Plus, contacts all those years ago were darn expensive)

Everyone dropped to their knees, scouring the gross, wet rubber floor for the tiny piece of clear plastic.

We. Looked. Forever.

Nothing.

Still on our knees, we were ready to give up when one of my fellow newbies ventured, “You guys…What if… we pray???!!! Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?”

We closed our eyes, and my friend said, “Lord we can’t find this contact. You know where it is. Please help us.”

I literally opened my eyes, looked down, and astonished, picked up the lost contact.

We were ecstatic.

The creator of the universe – God Himself! – heard and responded to a few teenage girls with a little faith.

To this day I have no doubt that God graciously intervened on our behalf.

Fast forward to last year at this time. My brother David was diagnosed with Melanoma. Continue reading

Finding a Mentor and Being a Mentor

March 4, 2015 /

I sat across from a young woman at Turtle Bread where I often meet with people I’m mentoring.  It’s a vibrant little neighborhood place with a retro black and white tile floor and vintage distressed tables. It makes me feel hip, like I’m in a French café but in the middle Minneapolis. Such illusions. 🙂

turtle bread

I hesitate to use the word “mentoring” because it sounds so official and important and I am so definitely NOT. (seriously.) However, I’m blessed to be friends with some young women who I meet with one on one in what they refer to as a “mentoring” relationship.  Because people ask me about these relationships often, I thought I’d write a bit about them.

Finding a mentor is a little like finding a date on Match.com.  You have ideas of what you want, but you’re also grateful if anyone says “yes” at all.  If you want some suggestions on finding a mentor, check this out.

Being a mentor is a little like jumping out of an airplane – you’re scared, but willing to take the leap. You feel out of control and completely dependent on the pro you’re harnessed to. That is, you’re acutely aware of dependence on God. If you want more on being  a mentor, check this out. Continue reading

What are You Afraid Of?

February 9, 2015 /

This weekend I did something I didn’t want to do. I opened myself to something when I really wanted to remain safe, and closed. I did it because I thought it would be good for me, like eating Kale or going to Yoga class.  Healthy, but uncomfortable and not very palatable.

I put myself in an environment with a speaker whose theology I don’t always agree with. It was a situation where there would be questions and theories and ambiguity and nuance and I was afraid this person might speak for God in ways that wouldn’t make Him happy. More accurately, he might speak for God in ways that I wouldn’t.

My inclination is to run from controversy and fog like I’d run from an angry bear in the forest. But I want to be brave.

I’ve always preferred black and white to gray, the safe middle to the unknown edges when it comes to theology, and yet, I came out of seminary with more questions than I went in with, but also a bigger, safer, though more mysterious God.

Maybe I went in thinking I could study God like a scientist studies monkeys and learns to predict their movements.  But it was more like diving into the ocean with alternately crashing 10 foot high swells and then motionless becalmed water. The pull of the tide, and the dark, fathomless depths with sea caves and weird creatures.

So why, if I’ve felt secure enough to thrash in the sea with God, does my stomach clench when I’m in situations where someone might say something “wrong”, angry, or… gasp, even heretical? Continue reading

5 Questions To Ask Your Family This Christmas

December 17, 2014 /

So you’ve done the running around and the shopping and cleaning and baking and now we’re getting close to the time when family will be arriving at your house, or you’ll be traveling to theirs.

Our daughter Maggie arrived this morning at 3:30 a.m. to spend a few days before she heads to Texas to be with her in-laws, and Katy arrives Saturday.

Sometimes we’re so stressed and busy during the holidays that we don’t really reflect on what we want to have happen while we’re together – you know, how to be truly present to each other. Then before we know it Christmas is over, family is gone and we’re left thinking “woulda-coulda-shoulda”.

So I got to thinking about questions I want to make sure to ask when we’re around the dinner table, or at the coffee shop. Continue reading

5 Questions About…Mentoring

June 26, 2014 /

Do you have friends who you look forward to spending time with because they are just. so. much. FUN?  Heather is one of those people in my life.  I know whenever we get together the ideas will be exploding like confetti and laughter will punctuate our conversation.   She is the discipleship pastor at the National Community Church in D.C. – one of the most vibrant and innovative faith communities I know.  Heather has also written two books, Community is Messy (about small group ministry) and Amazed and Confused (about Habbakuk).  You should check them out!

HZ.20131.  One of the things I admire about you is the way you build into others around you.  How did that come to be a value in your ministry?

I don’t think there was one catalytic moment; it was just a slow process of recognizing the way that God was working in my life and taking note of where I was feeling most fulfilled, seeing the most fruit, and having the most fun. I was captivated by 2 Timothy 2:2, realizing that the only investments we can make that truly last are the investments we make in other people.  Growing people grow people. I’d rather grow people than manage programs.

2.  Can you tell about an experience you have had with someone who built into you and what you learned from it? Continue reading

5 Questions About…

June 11, 2014 /

Do you have a nickname?  It’s not a nickname exactly, but in our family, and with my close friends, I’m known as “Idea Woman”.

I’ve shared before that husband John says the first line of the 4 Spiritual Laws should really read: God loves you and LAURA has a wonderful plan for your life!

imagesimages-1

So, I’ll admit that there are people who see me coming with that “IDEA gleam” in my eye and are tempted to run away.

The other thing I’m accused of is grilling asking a lot of questions of people I meet.  Frankly, besides wanting to be a spy, I also want to be Katie Couric (and yes, look like her too).

All that to say, I’m really excited about an idea I had for a new blog series called “5 Questions About….”  I have so many incredibly talented friends that I thought, what if I send some of them 5 questions about different topics that they have great insights on?

So, one day weekly til l run out of friends or topics, we’ll be doing 5 Questions About… Leadership, Hospitality, Singleness, God’s plans, Mentoring, Risk, etc.  (I’ll alternate these with One Word posts.)

“An expert is someone who knows some of the worst mistakes that can be made in his subject, and how to avoid them.” Werner Heisenberg

Everyone is an expert at something.  Who is someone with a gift or a skill you’d like to learn from?  Give them a call today and set up a time for coffee.  You might say, “I really admire your understanding of ________ and I’d love to learn from you.  Could we spend an hour together?”  Everyone likes to share their knowledge and experience!

There’s so much we can learn from each other!

Proverbs 23:12 says, Give yourselves to disciplined instruction; open your ears to tested knowledge.

What’s a topic you’d like to ask 5 questions about?  

 

What Hagar Taught me About Peace

February 12, 2014 /

Some things are just tough.

Like figuring out why people are fascinated with Snooki, or how to fold fitted sheets, or what makes some people able to eat a kabillion Trader Joe’s dark chocolate covered almonds with sea salt and not gain a pound.

Or, you know…how to achieve peace between all the people in all the places.

When it comes to the Middle East I keep wanting to say, “Lord I’m a bear of Very Little Brain” like Winnie the Pooh.

I have a long way to go, but God is patient and often a theme gradually emerges.

The truest thing I’m learning about peace is that keeping people at a distance makes it easy to demonize them.

But coming close topples the walls of misunderstanding.

This morning God reinforced this as I re-read the story of when God comes close to Hagar.

Sarah, wife of Abraham, has mistreated Hagar, the surrogate “wife” who runs away into the desert, heading back to Egypt (does that sound like areality TV show, or what?)

Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar each have a story.  Each are seen and loved by God. But they have trouble seeing and loving each other.

Here’s what spoke to me.  In the desert and in her pain, God meets Hagar and models something I’m thinking I can learn from (even with my little bear brain).

Even though Abraham and Sarah only call Hagar “servant”, God calls her by name.

He sees her!  (16:13)

And He asks her two questions:

Where have you come from? and Where are you going?

Here in the Middle East everyone has a story of injustices that have happened in the past and everyone is trying to hold on to their hopes for a future.

As we try to draw close and understand those who are different from us, whether it’s Israeli’s and Palestinians or Republicans and Democrats, gay and straight, I wonder if learning someone’s name, looking them in the eye and asking them questions like these is a place to start…

Who might you ask today:

Where have you come from?

Where do you want to go?

 

Three Scathingly Brilliant Ideas and Two Words

January 20, 2014 /

My nickname in our family is “Idea Woman”.  Often I am mocked with the refrain “God loves you and Laura has a wonderful plan for your life.”

It’s ok.  I’ll own it.  I can’t help the way my mind works.  Ideas just kind of spurt out like fireworks.

While they were growing up, the girls and I used to watch the old movie “The Trouble with Angels” about Haley Mills causing mischief in a catholic boarding school.  We often repeat her line, “I have a scathingly brilliant idea!“ with a gleam in our eyes.

All that to say, in the past couple years I’ve been struck by three things that friends have done that seem scathingly brilliant and I want to share them with you.  These are not my ideas.  I just wish I had thought of them! Continue reading

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