Tag: prayer (Page 2 of 9)

Ever Wonder If You’ve Heard God Wrong?

June 19, 2019 /

A week ago my small group was sitting around our harvest table finishing off yummy enchiladas when one of my young mom friends with toddlers shared about a difficult decision she and her husband made which she was still anguishing over.

This couple prayed and prayed, seeking wisdom from the Lord about whether to spend their limited budget on some extra child care that would free up a little time for them to nurture their marriage in a very stressful season of travel for her husband, or use the funds to send one of their kids to a private school that they think might provide a particularly nurturing environment.

They were faithful in prayer and sought information and guidance that might inform their decision. They are committed to God’s Word and want to honor Him. They made a decision, but keep wondering what the consequences might be.

Have you ever wondered if you might have heard God wrong?

Over thirty years ago, John and I were serving at a church in the suburbs of Chicago. We were open to moving and received a call from a church in Washington D.C. As we prayed about whether to accept this position, John reminded me this wasn’t a shell game with God. It wasn’t like there was necessarily just one right answer. Our job was to trust God and try to discern what we thought would be most pleasing to Him.

After much prayer we decided this move would be honoring to God and we ended up moving to D.C. Here’s what happened:

via GIPHY

  • I went 8 months pregnant with our second child, her sister just 19 months old
  • D.C. had the highest cost of living in the nation at the time and we had no money.
  • We moved away from all our family for the first time and knew no one.
  • Our church was a cathedral type church, drawing from a large area so we didn’t see the people we worshipped with during the week – hard to build community.
  • The area we lived in had no moms who had made the choice to stay at home with their kids so I went to the park every day and would basically say to any stranger, “Will you be my friend?”

John went to a transition seminar that was required when he started the job. He came home and said, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we won! We had more stress points than anyone else! The bad news is, they said we should be in counseling.”

The bottom line was that our years in D.C. were maybe the hardest of our marriage. We kept saying, “Lord, did we get this wrong? How could this be Your will and feel like such a bad fit? Why is this so hard?”

We’ll never know this side of heaven whether pride or impatience or something else clouded our discernment of God’s will, or if we were exactly where He wanted us. But as we have reflected on this season, here are some things we’ve observed:

  1. Just because circumstances are hard doesn’t mean you’re outside God’s will. Although we prayed fervently, things never got easier during the time we lived in D.C., but God was still faithful. We learned to be grateful that He was our shelter, our rock, unchanging. “Great is Thy Faithfulness” became our anthem. “Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, Blessings all mine and ten thousand beside!”

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

Romans 8:37-39 msg

2. Sometimes God wants to do a work in you instead of for you. As we look back, we see many ways God was preparing us for things to come. We experienced deeper intimacy with Him and greater dependence on Him. God knit our family together in love with Him and each other because that’s all we had.

So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.

2 corinthians 4:16-18 Msg

3. We may mess up. We may get it wrong, but God promises to redeem as we turn to Him. We came away from our time in D.C. with more humility and awareness of our fallibility than if we had gone from “strength to strength.”

…we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

romans 8:28 msg

What’s been your experience with discerning God’s will? As always, I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away! And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of inspiration, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

My First Question For Jesus

February 12, 2019 /

What’s the first question you want to ask Jesus when you get to heaven?

Is it some of the heavy “why’s” of suffering or prayers not answered in the way you wanted?

This may sound frivolous, but I’ve always said my first question is going to be, “Why did I have to be sleep-deprived when my kids were little so I wasn’t awake enough to fully enjoy them?”

My dream is to be able to time-travel back to the days when my kids were 1 and 2 years old, but with the energy and perspective I have now – so I could be fully present with joy. This is what I was thinking about as I biked to coffee this morning.

When I sat down to read at my delightful Zimbabwean coffee shop, an aha jumped off the pages at me from the book of Proverbs.

The primary ingredient of wisdom is humility.

And here’s how it gave me a possible answer to my question for Jesus.

When we are sleep deprived and our kids are little with a bajillionty questions , we are desperate.

When we are sleep deprived and our teens are out with the car and curfew is creeping closer, we’re desperate.

When we are sleep-deprived because we know our college student is struggling for acceptance and there’s nothing we can do about it, we’re desperate.

Desperation fosters dependence on God. 

Dependence on God = Humility

Perhaps our Friend, Jesus, wants us to realize right from the beginning, that we’re going to need a partner much bigger and wiser than ourselves in this job of parenting. Maybe He wants us to experience the truth that “His strength is perfected in our weakness.”

Today maybe Jesus is inviting us to open our hands and pray for our kids, knowing we’ll let them down, but He won’t. Our power is limited, but His isn’t. Our love is finite, but His is beyond anything we can imagine. We may be sleep-deprived, but He’s always awake.

I’d love to hear from you! If you subscribe and receive this in an email, just click on the title at the top and then scroll down to where you can leave a comment. If it’s your first time sharing, don’t worry when your comment doesn’t show up right away! It will as soon as I see it! Also, Instagram is my favorite place to hang out. Come introduce yourself over there!

We’re better together!

5 Ways to Respond When Leaders Prove Human

April 3, 2018 /

Sunday we celebrated our Easter God, but on Monday we still live between the now and not yet, between Easter and Jesus’ return, in a world still filled with pain and pride and power struggles. We all do our best to follow Jesus, but we lurch and stumble along like toddlers, falling into the mud every few steps, lifting our arms for Jesus to pick us up and dust us off once again.

John and I have been increasingly heartsick over the past few weeks. We are trying to love and support a group of good friends and colleagues who are in the muck and mire of a very public ministry mess. They are all gifted, kingdom-minded leaders who I trust are each doing their best to respond as accusations are leveled and the media spins sensational headlines.

Maybe you have been in a similar situation, caught between friends who are divorcing, or in the middle of some drama at work, or conflict at your church. Or maybe you’re the one who’s in the mud wondering “What happened?”

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Jesus is my Homeboy?

March 24, 2018 /

I like making plans. Our family teases me that my go-to is “God loves you and Laura has a wonderful plan for your life!”

I’m full of ideas. For other people. And God.

Is this ever you? You pray, and you can make it sound like a humble request, but you’re really telling Jesus what to do, right? It’s like “Here’s the plan, Jesus. This is the way I want it done so this is the way I’m sure You want to do it. Mkay?”

In Mark 6, when everyone is hungry, the disciples TELL Jesus (the Messiah, BTW) to send the people away. But He’s like “Um, no, that’s not my plan guys.” It always cracks me up when the disciples tell Jesus what to do in the Bible, but I should really recognize myself and be a tad embarrassed if I’m honest.

When I see this in Scripture it’s like the disciples are just Not. Paying. Attention.

Throughout the book of Mark Jesus predicts his death over and over, and  immediately after the third time, the disciples are like “Yeah, yeah, death and destruction…whatever…But we want places of honor, You down with that?”

Jesus responds with what I think He would often say to us if we were listening.

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The Third Way of Prayer

March 11, 2018 /

Seems like lately everyone around me has been experiencing loss, deep pain, or unexpected trauma.  As I walk along a wooded path my shoulders feel heavy. My spirit matches the damp gray afternoon and I dodge icy patches and sooty piles of snow. My prayers are more like a litany of lament, and it’s appropriate. There is a time for that. Absolutely. You may be lamenting, and God welcomes that.

There is also time for thanksgiving, for focusing not on what has been lost, but on all that we have to be grateful for…a kind of perspective corrective. We list one thousand gifts in a journal. We pay attention to our blessings.  We try to “think lovely thoughts”. Thanksgiving is always right and good.

But there’s a third way of praying  that has been most important to me in this heavy season.

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What Do Formation and Escape Have to Do With You?

February 4, 2018 /

As I write this, I’m sitting in an airport lounge in Seoul, Korea.

We’ve been in the air over 17 hours and have 5 more to go in order to reach Hanoi, Vietnam, our destination.  I have something to drink, and a soft chair, and an internet connection, and I’m blessed to be heading to see the work of God in a new part of the world (to me). This is the best case scenario.

Still, travel represents one of the everyday experiences God can use for transformation. When we travel, so much is out of our control.

Think cancelled flights, lost luggage, crying babies, delays, and slow people who clog the TSA lines.

It doesn’t matter if it’s international travel, or going to Target with two toddlers in tow, our formation often comes in situations we want to escape from.

I think of another “traveler” – Moses – and his “toddlers”, the Israelites. If he had had his choice he probably would have gone it alone, and preferred straight line from Egypt to the Promised Land, bypassing the 40 years in the desert wandering thing.

When the Israelites are being difficult, Moses says, “What am I to do with these people?” Which is exactly the question you may be asking today.

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How to be a Perfect Parent

January 14, 2018 /

Sweaty but eager, we gather around our tennis coach after a drill.  In wrapping up, he reminds us of something he says often about “winning”. “Instead of worrying about whether you’re winning, you need to just stay in the present point. You need to detach from the outcome.”

Immediately one of the other moms on the team says, “That’s what I do with my kids!”

Does that mean she doesn’t care if her kids are convicts or racists or just neglect to say “thank you”? Not at all! It just means that she knows she can only be responsible for her part.

When they’re little that includes coaching and consequences, time-outs and training.

And prayer. Lots of prayer.

I have a mentor friend who used to tell her kids, “I have you basically for 18 years and I’m going to steward that time as wisely and prayerfully as I can.” Does that mean when they turned 18 she tore up her “mom card” and said “Phew, I’m done!”? Absolutely not. She continues to pray, trusting God to get her kids where they need to go. 

Another friend has a grown daughter with issues. She kept rescuing her daughter from the consequences of her bad choices as an adult until she had a “Detach from the outcome” moment. She realized her actions were driven by what others might think of her as a parent if they saw her daughter’s destructive behavior. She opened her hands and acknowledged that her daughter was differentiated from her – an adult, responsible for her own choices. Again, that didn’t mean she stopped loving and praying fervently for her daughter. It meant she clarified what was her job, and what was her daughter’s job.

But the other day I was talking to one of my closest friends about a family member we’ve prayed for for 15 years without seeing the fruit we have begged God for. WHY Lord?

I wonder…What might it have been like for the father in the parable of the prodigal son?

How long was the son gone? How long did the dad pray?

Did he go over in his mind all the mistakes he had made as a parent? The times when he lost his temper? The times they skipped family devotions? That time he was too busy to play catch? Did he struggle to trust God to forgive and redeem his parental shortcomings?

Did he pray, somedays feeling like it was hopeless – like his son would never come to his senses?

He let his son go. He let him experience the consequences of his actions. Did he fight the urge every day to run to the “far country” and rescue him?

Did he struggle to know what his part was and what God’s part was? What the parable says is that he kept waiting and watching.

“When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him.” Luke 15:20

How can you be a perfect parent? You admit you’re not, and you embrace your job to pray and wait and watch, trusting the only One who is.

God, the one and only—
    I’ll wait as long as he says.
Everything I hope for comes from him,
    so why not?
He’s solid rock under my feet,
    breathing room for my soul… Psalm 62:5-6

 

 

5 Words that Made me Stop

September 3, 2017 /

I’m a “J” on the Myers Briggs. That means I like quick decision-making and closure. I’m impulsive. A “jump first, ask questions later” kind of girl. Can anyone relate?

So a few weeks ago when I sensed a prompting (that I thought was from God), I was ready to act on it. Like immediately.

This nudge involved speaking a loving question into a friend’s life, but it was about a painful subject .

And then, this morning, before I did anything (this is one reason why morning quiet time is crucial for me! :)) I read 2 Samuel 2:1 “David inquired of the Lord”. The sentence sounded familiar so I checked in Bible Gateway. Sure enough I had read a version of  that same phrase 9 times about David! But this morning I didn’t just read it, I heard it as an additional reminder to me from God.

These 5 words stopped me in my tracks.

Inquiring of the Lord is a check-in with our divine Mentor of sorts. For me it meant praying about my prompting. “Lord this is what I THINK you want me to do. Will you confirm it in my spirit if so? Will you give me Your words if it is Your will?” And then I was still. (Always VERY hard for me!)

The way the Lord answered was to encourage me to put myself in my friend’s place.

Are the words you feel prompted to speak true? Yes.

Would they feel helpful or life-giving to you if you were in her place? Yes.

Are they necessary? No, they are not necessary I guess. I’m sure You, Lord, could find another way to talk to her, but You tapped me, and You remind me “put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” (Eph. 4:25)

After “inquiring of the Lord” and really trying to listen for His response, I prayerfully wrote a note to my friend. Thankfully she received it with gratitude and reflection.

However, there have been times when I thought I was responding to a prompting, only to be blasted by the receiver, causing me to slink away like a scolded puppy. There have been other times when I haven’t spoken up in spite of a prompting and have regretted it as I watched a friend walk into ruin.

Bottom line? I think all we can do is our part – be attentive to the Holy Spirit and carefully inquire of the Lord before we speak. Then have the courage to either speak up or keep our mouths shut with courage as He leads us.

What has your experience been with nudges from the Holy Spirit?

 

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When God’s Answer to Prayer Looks Different Than we Expect

June 22, 2017 /

It seems like infertility comes up in at least half of the conversations I’m a part.

Or, someone mourns the death of a dream – what feels like unanswered prayer.

I’ve never dealt with infertility personally. I can’t begin to understand the depth of pain, confusion, and frustration that couples experience. But I do know what the death of a dream feels like. I can recognize the expressions of weariness, longing, and “what’s wrong with me that God doesn’t answer this prayer that I feel like is coming from a pure place?”

I have godly, faithful friends who have prayerfully entered into IVF or adoption. They have dreams, but open hands, desiring to be responsive to God’s leading. They do their part. They are responsible. They read and ask questions and look at finances and trust God. They pray for guidance and clear direction and step forward in faith.

And then, and then…. There’s no pregnancy, or no adoption match, or the adopted child endangers the rest of the family and has to be released to a different home.

And my friends are left asking, “Whaaat? God we trusted You!!! We thought we were following your leading!!!! Where did we go wrong?  A + B is supposed to = C! What is wrong with OUR MATH? Don’t you love us? Aren’t you a good God? We thought you were!”

It saddens me when I see people grieving and at the same time, beating themselves up for “Reading God wrong.”

As followers of Jesus we really want to be honest about the desires of our hearts. We also really want God’s direction and want to submit to His will that may look different than ours.

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What Does God Have to Say to You Today?

April 25, 2017 /

I’m a lake girl. I grew up learning to swim in a lake in Wisconsin that was big and deep and dark blue and often the wind whipped the waves into a frenzy. But it was a place I felt safe, treading water or diving under into the silent calm beneath the surface.

Friday I was not on a lake, but by the Pacific Ocean.

I walk along the beach wrapped the early morning air, cool and damp. The spray of crashing waves reaches out to tickle me every once in awhile. Fog shrouds the mountains encircling the bay, making them look like a watercolor painting or a dream – fuzzy in the distance.

My prayer is one common to me on my walks.

“Lord, what do you have to teach me about myself and Yourself today?”

There’s rarely an immediate answer, but rather, like an old-school photo developing in a water tray, something gradually emerges.

Usually.

I’m encouraged by this promise as I walk:

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3

Sometimes the picture that develops is heart-warming… encouraging. Sometimes it’s convicting.

Sometimes it feels profound, but often, like today, it’s just a series of small reminders as I reflect on the power of the ocean before me.

The Lord whispers, “You can let the waves wreck you or refine you.”

Lord, how powerful is your love!

The waves of Your grace relentlessly pour over me like the tide coming in.

Help me not to resist the waters of Your correction that smooth my rough edges like polished sea glass on the shore.

Your faithfulness teaches me I can remain safe in storms.

Do you not realize who I am? Do you not fear Me? Do you not shake in the presence of the Eternal, the Creator of all things? 

It is I who has drawn for all time the boundaries of the sea.

The waves may crash and roar against the sand, But the waters do not cross the lines I have drawn. Jeremiah 5:22 (Voice)

“God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him. We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom, courageous in seastorm and earthquake, Before the rush and roar of oceans, the tremors that shift mountains. Jacob-wrestling God fights for us, God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.” Psalm 46:1-3

When we are mature – attaining the whole measure of the fullness of Christ – “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.” Ephesians 4:14 (NIV)

What are you learning about yourself and God today?

 

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