Tag: perspective (Page 1 of 4)

Something I’m Struggling With…Maybe You Too?

November 5, 2022 /

I have a lot of questions for God about prayer.

Probably because we don’t always agree on things. I can get confused when I pray and try to trade places with Him, because I really like running the show myself.

God’s plans are perfect, but they’re not easy. They are for our formation and His glory, but I want them to be for my comfort and convenience. Why can’t He just get with the Laura plan?

We have gratification goals. God has galaxy goals.

We see now. God sees eternity.

There’s a verse I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

The mother of James and John asked Jesus if her sons might be able to sit at His right and left side in His kingdom. I picture it kind of like me running into Bill Gates in the grocery store (although I’m sure Bill doesn’t do his own shopping) and asking him to make my daughters CEO’s of two of his companies.

Jesus’ response?

“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them.

Matthew 20:22

I’m guessing Jesus wants to say that to me a lot.

In another place, Jesus rebukes Peter who’s arguing with him about the cross.

“You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.”

mark 8:33

I can imagine Jesus saying that to me too!

The most helpful picture I have of how prayer works is that of me in a small boat on a lake. The boat is tethered by a long rope to a huge redwood tree on the shore. My job isn’t to pull the redwood to me, but to pull me in my boat to the redwood.

The goal of prayer isn’t to make God adjust to my will, but to humbly align myself with His will.

“Faith means trusting that if I knew what God knows and loved like God loves, I’d do what God does.“

john ortberg

I marvel at people who are so sure of God’s will that they pray boldly, like a boss. I’m not that confident, which is good motivation to get to know Him better.

A friend of mine shares the story of two little girls who were playing by a pond. Denise fell in and Maria managed to grab her friend’s long hair and hold her head above the water until help came.

The press picked up the story and interviewed the hero, Maria, asking how the event had changed her life. She answered: “Denise won’t play with me anymore; she says I pulled her hair!”

                                       Yank Get Off GIF

 

Sometimes it feels like God is pulling our hair when He’s saving our lives.

Lord, You know what we don’t know. You see what we don’t see. You are good. Help us to pray according to Your will, and trust you even when we don’t understand.

What are your thoughts on prayer?

3 Suggestions for When God is Puzzling

June 25, 2022 /

During Covid I did a puzzle that absolutely drove me crazy. There was so much white. And black. And pieces that looked the same.

It took a tremendous amount of patience and perseverance (two things that are NOT my strong suit!). I actually came to see it as a spiritual discipline – stretching muscles that ached and didn’t want to be stretched.

I wrote last week that we’re in a season of transition, like many of you are. Again, this is not my strong suit. The hundreds of white puzzle pieces, like ordinary days can seem to be baffling. Where do they go? How do they help make sense of the whole?

When we read Bible stories we can see the whole picture. We can jump to the end and see how things turn out. But David didn’t know how things were going to unfold when he had been anointed king, and Saul was chasing him around the countryside trying to kill him! Esther didn’t know the specifics of God’s plan to use her to save the Jews. They trusted God and took the next right step.

A friend of mine said to me, “I wish I had known on May 5th that I would have a job on Dec. 5th. Because I didn’t, I lived in the house of fear.”

Here are 3 suggestions for when God is puzzling:

1. Step back and thank God for the bigger picture that He is creating with all the pieces of your life – the boring white ones, the confusing ones, the seemingly ugly ones, and the beautiful ones.

..keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

1 peter 1:10-11

2. Remind yourself of God’s sovereignty. He knows what we don’t know. He sees what we don’t see. He is a good God.

We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails.

Proverbs 19:21 MSG

3. Ask: Lord, what do you want to refine in me through this?

We are not defined by our circumstances, but merely refined through them. We can view our circumstances as happening to us or for us.

Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.

1 Peter 4:12-13

If you’re going through a time of change, you might also like to sign up for my free resource to help you process with the Lord. It will give you Scripture and some journal prompts.

I’d love to hear what kind of change you’re navigating in the comments below!

A Story to Rescue Your Monday from Despair

July 20, 2020 /

We’re in the middle of a pandemic, political division, racism, unemployment challenges, questions about what’s going to happen with our kids when school starts, and it’s Monday morning.

You may have had a stellar weekend picnicking in the sun, biking, going to “the lake”, but now it’s Monday in all its Mondayness.  And the week stretches out in front of you like a flat road across the barren pan-handle of Oklahoma.

Before you buckle down for multiple Zoom calls, or start washing sandy clothes from the weekend, read on.  It may make you feel better about your day.

Awhile ago I was listening to the radio and a woman called in with an experience that was, um…unbelievable. Except that it really happened.

The caller had been on a road trip with her friend. They stopped to get gas and go to the bathroom. The woman went into the stall, and sat down.  She put her keys on her lap, at which point the keys slid into the toilet.

The toilet was the auto-flush kind so she was afraid to stand up for fear her keys would be washed down the toilet.  

Panicky, she was able to reach her cell phone and call her friend who was outside filling the car with gas.

The friend came into the bathroom, and although she was a large woman, she squeezed under the stall door.

She knelt and (unbelievably) reached under her friend, into the toilet for the keys.  I know, I know…so many questions!  

(At this point I could spiritualize this and quote Proverbs 18:24 “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is friend who sticks closer than a brother.”, but really?)

As I was listening to the story, I thought, “How could this get any worse?!”

It did.

The radio caller, on the toilet, had a gag reflex to the whole situation at that point, and threw up on her friend’s head as she kneeled in front of her trying to rescue the keys!  (Aren’t you glad I haven’t provided “art” here?)

Attitude is all in our perspective, right?

I share this because it’s Monday, and maybe we can all start the week thanking God that no one has thrown up on our head.  Yet.

And may we all have friends as devoted as this caller’s.

What helps you keep life in perspective? When has a friend rescued you and made your day?

Soul Food in a Time of Uncertainty

March 15, 2020 /

We may not have toilet paper, but John has made sure we have what’s really essential!

Everything’s a little “off” right now, right? Flights, schools, worship services…and any semblance of a schedule for my posts apparently!

I usually try to post once on Tuesday and then share some links around a theme on Friday called “Soul Food”, but I thought it might be helpful for me to share four “Don’ts” and two “Do’s” while many of you are at home.

1.Don’t be afraid.

My friend Sue said that Young Life leaders are being encouraged to pray Psalm 91 every day for 91 one days. Great idea, and it reminded me of a good podcast I listened to this week on Psalm 91 called “How Do We Pray in the Midst of Fear?” You might like it too!

Here’s some additional encouragement from Instagram.

Maybe play this in the background while you work in the kitchen, or play it over your kids.

2. Don’t despair if your kids’ school is closed.

How about giving your kids the fun job of coming up with motions for a Scripture verse? Beth Moore simplified 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 to Stay alert! Stand firm! Show courage! Be strong! Do love!

There are some churches with great online resources, both for family worship experiences, Bible activities, and ways to talk to your kids about the pandemic. Here are a few good ones:

National Community Church

Check out Elevation Church‘s Elevation eKidz on Pinterest.

One night when our kids were in grade school, when John got home I led all of us into our Master Bedroom walk-in closet with only a candle. We sat on the floor and talked about places where people can’t worship freely and may not even have Bibles. We tried to remember all the scripture we could from memory and then we prayed for the persecuted church.

Want educational? Take a virtual tour of a famous museum from around the world!

3. Don’t lose perspective.

4. Don’t lose your sense of humor.

Picture from the UK 🙂

5. Do share.

After being away from my kitchen for almost 4 months, I’ve been loving making a bunch of meals to freeze or share with new mamas or those in need. I shared a super easy stew recipe on Instagram this week.

Thriving Home (great for family-friendly freezer meals), and Half-Baked Harvest are other go-to’s for good recipes. Here’s another favorite recipe I‘ve shared before.(I leave out the broth)

Ok, that’s it for now. I’m going to treat myself and go tackle one of the books on my stack! How are you spending your Corona virus days?

P.S. If you want a good thriller, check out What She Knew

What Stories are you Telling Yourself That May be Derailing You?

July 23, 2019 /

“Are you playing in the Tennis Invitational this year?”

My friend had no idea that would be a painful question, but it was.

I’m a relative newbie to the game of tennis. I was only able to start playing a few years ago after back surgery. After looking down my nose at “women who tennis”, I’m embarrassed by how much I love it. I am passionate about improving and I work hard. I love the community of players I’ve gotten to know.

This experience may sound sooo ridiculous in light of, you know…real life pain around the world, but stick with me.

Every year there is a “Tennis Invitational” at our courts. It’s a day and a half event of friendly competition with dinner. Super fun.

I wasn’t even aware of it for a long time. Probably because it’s for “better players”.

Then 3 years ago the coaches were desperate at the last minute and asked me to sub in. Same thing happened 2 years ago. Last year I was invited to play for real.

This year? Crickets. Nothing. I was uninvited.

Those are the facts.

I felt confused and hurt, especially when I discovered a friend who plays at my level was invited.

The narratives I constructed to try to make sense of the facts?

  • They think I’m getting worse instead of better.
  • Someone complained about my level of play last year.
  • It was a clerical error last year and I was invited by mistake.
  • They have an age limit. They don’t want me because I’m “old”.
  • One of the coaches is mad at me.

All these “stories” motivate me to feel self-conscious, wary, and discouraged.

What if there’s another story that I’m not aware of?

There’s a difference between facts and the story we tell ourselves.

Example: A friend cancels plans with you three times in a row.

That’s a fact.

The story you may tell yourself is that she doesn’t value your friendship anymore. You are not important to her.

Example: You reach out to two different guys on a dating app and neither of them responds to you.

That’s a fact.

The story you tell yourself is that you’re “undatable”. You aren’t pretty enough.

Unless we are covered in Teflon, we tend to gravitate towards the worst interpretation of events.

But what if there’s another story? How do we know what’s true?

As I’ve been grappling with situations like this in my own life, two action steps have come to mind.

  1. Inquire for better understanding. Go to the source. Yikes! This feels hard, risky, vulnerable. It’s also not always possible or realistic to go directly to the other person (like with a dating app). But, when possible, being honest about the facts, and your feelings, and asking for additional information or the true narrative may be the best course of action. With the dating example, it might be wise to ask a close friend who may have some insight that will be helpful.

2. Ask God for His perspective. Facts are facts. Maybe you’re not as good as you thought you were. Maybe your friend has moved into a new season without you. Maybe there are issues you need to work on to become a healthier date. But what story is God writing? What qualities might He want to develop in you?

  • Perseverance? James 1:2-4
  • Humility? 1 Peter 5:5-9
  • Dependence? Psalm 62:5-8

Is it possible you’re giving the people in your life more power to say who you are than God? Remember in Genesis 3:10-11 when Adam was ashamed in the Garden of Eden and God asked him “Who told you that…?” God’s implication was “Not me…I’m not the one who told you to be ashamed.”

@charliemackesy Instagram

P.S. I screwed up my courage and questioned for better understanding. The story was nuanced and made sense. Afterwards I felt lighter, and like I could breathe easier.

Do you struggle with telling yourself all the negative stories?

I’d love to hear from you! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the site where you can post a comment. If it’s your first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away!

And if you’re interested in some smaller doses of inspiration, join me over on Instagram. (You can turn on “notifications” in the upper right-hand corner if you want to know when there is a post.)

Perspectives from a Baton Pass, Part 2

February 10, 2019 /

A few weeks ago on a Thursday night I sat in the sanctuary of our church, alone, replaying many holy moments I’ve experienced there.

I cried tears of both gratitude and sadness at leaving.

I prayed, and wrote a note to the leaders who will have the privilege of serving here next.

I took my note up to John’s office where he was finishing up final paper work and we put our notes together with a baton on his desk. We prayed with thanksgiving for our time, and asked for wisdom, grace, and perseverance for the leader who will pick up the baton and run the next leg of this race with CPC.

And then we closed the door one last time.

We moved through the church to different places that were meaningful to us, praying in each for God’s continuing work.

We prayed in the spot where we had first brought our blond curly-headed tinies into church, and in the room where I’ve joyfully walked alongside young couples on their faith journey.

We remembered the places where we saw reconciliation happen between broken people, and laughed again about the llama that went into labor in the gym, and the time we had someone ride a motorcycle down the aisle for a children’s sermon.

We ended up back in the sanctuary and looked at where our friend served communion one last time as he was dying, and where our daughters were baptized, and where one walked down the aisle to be married. It’s where people far from God came to know of His crazy love for them and it’s where a creative staff person shot off fireworks to recreate Acts 2.

We were overwhelmed thinking of God’s great protection and guidance for us and our family, and before we left, we stood one last time facing the cross and sang Great is Thy Faithfulness.

It was holy. And yes, I cried the entire time.

Totally by God’s grace, we have finished this leg of the race. If you’re running a tough leg of your marathon, know that He sees you. He’s with you, and you’re being cheered for.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2

As always, I’d love to hear from you! If you subscribe, just click on the title and then scroll down to leave a comment. If you haven’t commented before, it won’t show up immediately, but don’t worry! It will once I see it!

Also, my favorite place to hang out is over on Instagram. I’d love to connect with you there too!

Perspectives From a Baton Pass, Part 1

February 7, 2019 /

It’s 11:45 Christmas Eve. The sanctuary glows with candlelight bouncing off the arched windows and reflecting in the eyes of the faithful gathered. John and I are serving communion one last time in the last worship service at the end of our 30 years in this faith community.

We know the hopes and dreams and fears and failures of most of the people who walk up to receive the bread and wine. It both moves us to tears of gratitude and strengthens us immeasurably. We are broken, and Jesus puts us back together. He is good.

We are at the end of a leg of the race, ready to pass the baton. For us, a time of change, or any change for anyone – change in job, location, relationship, whatever…gives us a chance to notice the work of God in our lives over time and question how we have been formed.

We treasure so many marking moments of grace and reconciliation and healing that we’ve shared with people we love over the years at this church.

There have been hard times too. Tears and questions and conflict and misunderstandings, and very difficult leadership decisions.

I’ve worried a lot. I’ve doubted myself, not because of a Word from the Lord, but because I let the words of others pierce me.

Like our friend Steve who ran the Grand Canyon, we look back over the hilly terrain we’ve run and the perspective brings a visceral sense of being strengthened in the Lord. There have been some really rough stretches, but God’s plans have prevailed.

If I were to say anything to my 30 year old self who came to CPC with two tinies in tow, it would be “REALLY rest in God. It’s gonna be ok if you do your best to play to an audience of One. Learn from critics who are wise, but listen for His voice above all.”

The words that keep coming to me in this season are “secure” and “unshaken”.

I envision a huge oak tree with branches reaching out and up towards the sky. In the wind those top branches get whipped around, back and forth. It can be scary if that’s where you stay. And that is often where I’ve perched. But even in the wind, the trunk remains secure and unshaken. That’s where we belong.

Think of your life right now, and the things that threaten to shake you. Consider these verses.

I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch with everything there is to know of God. Then you will have minds confident and at rest, focused on Christ, God’s great mystery.  

Colossians 2:2-3

We have made many, many mistakes, but we have done our best to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, knowing He is the Redeemer and can cause all things to work together for good. The more we have gotten to know Him, the more confident and at rest we’ve been.

He will stand and shepherd his flock
    in the strength of the Lord,
    in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God.
And they will live securely, for then his greatness
    will reach to the ends of the earth.

Micah 5:4

There are a lot of question marks about what comes next, but God has carried us this far. He will not abandon us. We are secure in Him.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.


Psalm 33:11

We are fickle, but He is not. We waver, but He does not. We are merely privileged partners in the good work He prepared in advance for us to do.

Football, Calendars, and the Examen

January 2, 2019 /

Have you ever thought of football and the Examen together?

Last Sunday someone graciously gave us tickets to the Vikings/Bears game. Amazing seats in front of former head coach and Minnesota legend, Bud Grant (who told us to sit down).

Seats with a suite full of every kind of food you could imagine.

Unfortunately, the actual play on the field this Sunday left us a little disappointed. It was a slow game and we lost to the Bears, but it got me thinking about these stats for how much we see when we watch football on TV.

  • The average NFL football game lasts 174 minutes.
  • Actual amount of time the ball is in play on the field: 10 minutes, 43 seconds. 
  • The rest of the 174 minutes:
    • Commercials: 60 minutes
    •  Players milling around: 75 minutes
    •  Replays: 17 minutes
    •  Cheerleaders: 3 seconds

All of this is just a round about way to get us thinking about this question: What is getting the most air time in your life? 

Is it the most important stuff?

Have you ever considered doing a calendar Examen?

The Examen is an ancient practice you may be familiar with.

It simply means you look back over your day and identify where you sensed being most alive to God’s presence and pleasure (the “spiritual” word is “consolation”) and where He felt most absent (“desolation”)…Where you experienced separation or turned away from God.

So a calendar Examen might mean looking at what’s getting the most “air time” in your life and if it’s the most important stuff. Maybe ask:

  • If the Lord was looking over my shoulder at my calendar, what would He say are my priorities?
  • Where do I experience the pleasure of God? In what environments am I bearing fruit?
  • Are there areas of my life where I’m turning your back on God or ignoring His presence? Do I compartmentalize my faith in only certain squares on my calendar?
  • Are there environments or relationships that draw my attention away from God? 

You might consider writing some of these questions in your journal, or on a calendar page.

May you be open to all that our Friend Jesus might say to you today, and may you receive the gift of His grace.

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. If you subscribe via email, just click on the title and it will take you to my website where you can scroll down and share your experience. Don’t worry if your comment doesn’t show up right away. It will!

If you want to connect further, you’ll find me almost daily on Instagram. I’d love to see you there!

When you Can’t See The Road Ahead

October 26, 2015 /

Last week I drove down to my hometown in the suburbs of Chicago on Saturday for a run honoring my brother. After the race on Sunday husband John warned me that I needed to get on the road back to Minneapolis early because of my “condition”.

I have “night blindness” which means I have no depth perception when it gets dark. My perspective is flat. Skewed. I can’t tell how far or close things are (You know, like cars, or stoplights, or the shoulder of the road – the little things.)  And I can’t anticipate turns in the road. So when I didn’t leave Chicago until after 1:00 and hit bad traffic it meant driving the last two hours in deep darkness.

In the dark my eyes play tricks on me. My emotions play tricks on me. It feels kind of like being on that Disney World roller coaster in the dark that has a name with “Terror” in the title. There are times when I’m sure I’m driving off the road into certain destruction. Really.

IMG_1968

For anyone, in the days of loss – loss of person, job, dream – weird shapes loom and threaten in the darkness.  It can feel very scary. Nothing is certain. Life feels unpredictable.

As I concentrated hard and prayed, it struck me how all of us have “night blindness” . Whether it’s the dark of discouragement and challenging circumstances, or the illusion of control and self-sufficiency, or a hill on the route of our personal marathon, we don’t see things as they really are – as only God sees them. Continue reading

“No People”

March 13, 2015 /

Today I had lunch with a dear friend. We sat at a table outside on an upper terrace, eating in the toasty sun. Yes, you read that right. Outside. In MN. In March. Clearly evidence of a benevolent God.

One of the reasons I like my friend is we agree on pretty much everything. Religion, politics, Kim Kardashian… Who doesn’t like spending time with “yes people” who support all your opinions?

But as I was driving home, I thought… one of the many things I admire about my husband is that he actively seeks out “no people”.  He engages and asks questions of people he knows have different opinions or perspectives than he does.  You know…people who see a blue dress when you know it’s white.

Unknown

Now, don’t get me wrong; John’s no push-over.  He’s grounded in an informed worldview, but he’s also humble enough to know he may have missed considering some things. He knows there is wisdom to be gained in listening to those who disagree with him. I am in awe of how secure he is in Christ in a way that makes him not defensive.

It is hard, but I’m trying to be more open to entering into conversations with folks who differ from me without getting anxious, fearful, or defensive. I try to listen well. And I try to remember to breathe and say to myself “You have nothing to prove and nothing to lose.” 

Maybe think of someone who sees a different color dress and ask them more about what they think today.

And if you haven’t taken the 2015 Survey, I’d love to hear from you – click on this link.

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