Tag: nurture

3 Crucial Commitments for a Strong Marriage, Part 1

Hey Friends, I originally wrote this as one post, but it got so long I decided to split it into three parts, that I’ll publish throughout this week. I’ve cut back so I usually only post once a week, so if you don’t like getting extra mail, just wait a week 🙂 My prayer is that if you’re married or thinking about getting married, you’ll spend some time reflecting on each commitment and add your own thoughts in the comments.

It was about 35 years ago when husband John and I got the news about a nationally known mentor of ours who had had an affair and was being removed from ministry. We felt like we had been in an earthquake and every picture that had been hung straight was now crooked. We were stunned. Heart-broken.

At the time, we were serving at a church in the suburbs of Chicago and spending that evening with close friends who had started an inner-city ministry. Together we wept and John said “If this can happen to ____________, it can happen to anyone.”

In a rare moment of clarity I yelled, “THIS DIDN’T JUST HAPPEN TO THEM!!! They made a series of choices!”

And choices have consequences, AMIRIGHT?

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Neighboring Challenge, Day 1 – Fill Up

In my family I’m known for driving my car on fumes – going as long and as far as I possibly can without actually running out of gas. I seem to have an uncanny ability to drive my car that holds 15 gallons of gas, 15.8 gallons worth of miles.

I’m also prone to stretching my “tank” when it comes to hospitality. If I don’t first fill up with a Jesus heart and perspective, although I keep going, I notice 3 things can happen:

  1. It becomes about the externals – appearances, logistics, food…This can promote pride, or discouragement, neither of which please God.
  2. I am more focused on tasks than on being present to the people in my home.
  3. I am anxious because I want to be in control instead of letting the Spirit guide.

Most of us are super familiar with the story of Mary and Martha, but take another look.

Luke 10:38-42 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary,who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Ask yourself: What are you worried or upset about? Open your hands and give those things to Jesus.

Just a few thoughts about this passage to keep things in perspective:

  • Note, we tend to bash Martha and praise Mary for being so spiritual, but if Martha doesn’t open her home, Mary doesn’t have a place to sit and listen to Jesus.
  • Jesus admonished Martha for being “worried and upset”, not for serving.
  • Martha did what was expected of women. Mary did what was expected of men (sitting at the feet of a teacher). Jesus broke down the wall that divided men and women.
  • “Mary has chosen…” We always have choices! If it’s a choice between Jesus and jobs, choose Jesus first.

Neighboring Challenge: 

To neighbor well we need to fill up first.

  • Picture you car dashboard with the gas gauge. Do you feel spiritually, physically, emotionally full or empty? Somewhere in between? What changes is it possible for you to make in order to fill up? Is there a spiritual practice that might help? Consider joining me on Facebook Live at noon CST Monday to hear more about a resource I’m offering.
  • Walk through your home praying – dedicate each room to the Lord’s purposes.

I’d love to see and hear your responses throughout this challenge – in the comments or on Instagram, or Facebook! Use the hashtag #neighboring. (Follow on Instagram or like the FB page if you want it to show up in your feed)

How to Write a Better Marriage Story than TomKat

Dear Max and Emily,

What a picture of joy!  It was a hot Minnesota summer afternoon and there was laughter and dancing and prayers and great hopes for your future together.  You were surrounded by people who love you.

So…right.

You did a lot of hard work to get to this place.  You did the pre-marital counseling thing and the financial seminar thing, and you really tried to honor God in every way as you walked towards marriage.

And now you’re here.  You’re married.

But the news these days is filled with stories of TomKat and John Edwards and Kim Kardashian, and Arnold Swarzenager.  And a thousand  million more examples of infidelity and “irreconcilable differences” and custody battles.  Disheartening, eh?

Why do you think you’ll be different than Kim and Arnold and whoever?  What will give you an edge so you won’t be another bad statistic in a few years.  Or 15?

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