Tag: modeling

Why We all Need an Aunt Joyce

October 24, 2016 /

My Aunt Joyce is 87 years old. She is my mom’s sister, 5 years her senior.

When they shared a bedroom as kids Aunt Joyce convinced my mom that at night she climbed out the window and became Wonder Woman, her tights and cape hidden in the gutter of the roof. (I don’t think she realized Wonder Woman doesn’t wear a cape).

golden_age_wonder_woman_by_byrne_colored_by_xplosiveink-d4yrypg

As much as I love Aunt Joyce, she lives thousands of miles away and until recently we weren’t in close contact.

Then two things happened. David got cancer, and she (who has never EVER owned a computer) got an iPad.

You might say Aunt Joyce is a late bloomer. She gives me hope for myself.

Aunt Joyce got her ears pierced at 84. But she won’t buy dangly earrings because she thinks it draws attention to her less-than-young-looking neck.

She was distressed after she had cataract surgery and she could see her imperfections more clearly. She asked me to pray for her pride because she said even Nancy, her Clinique girl would not be able to help her.

She stood in the background while David was in hospice, praying. Just praying. The whole time she reminded me of the presence of the Holy Spirit. Sure, steady, peace-filled. A quiet comforter.

Aunt Joyce has lost her husband and two sons. It’s easy for her to question why God still has her here, but she decided she has two purposes – to pray, and to encourage “the elderly”. Yep, you read that right.

She has a goal of having her whole church over to her apartment, a few at a time, for dinner. She asks me to pray for grace and patience when she is having the “elderly” over for coffee. They can be a bit cranky, you know.

Recently Aunt Joyce sent me this wonderful quote on prayer:

“Fall upon prayer as your only aid and help in this life. When you are weary, pray. When you are joyful, let your joy feed deeper prayer. When in hunger or thirst, open your heart to the Lord. When in exultation bind your life more firmly to God. When prayer itself if hard, pray all the more. For prayer is ascent to the heart of God who is its true and proper Master in every condition of this life.” Archimandrite Irenei

We all need an Aunt Joyce

  • to remind us, as Craig Groeschel says, “If you’re not dead, you’re not done.”
  • to remind us of the value of “small things” (Zechariah 4:10)

God is great not because nothing is too big for Him. God is great because nothing is too small for Him either. Mark Batterson

  • to remind us that “A changed world begins with us … and a changed us begins when we pray.” Eugene Peterson (James 5:15b)
  • to model a quiet, godly life of faithfulness that clings to God no matter what (1 Thes. 4:11)

And, like Wonder Woman and Super Girl (or Lucy and Ethel) I just stared open-mouth last year when my mom, the other half of this dynamic duo, said she thought she and Dad (82 and 85 years old) ought to take the 2-6 a.m. shift hosting the homeless at their church on Christmas Eve.

This is the same mom who texts and sends pictures on her iPhone, and dresses so hip that her granddaughters have been known to borrow her stuff.

Who are these women??? I want to be like them when I grow up.

How to Get a Mentor

May 12, 2013 /

I’ve always felt kind of bummed that I have never had a formal “mentor”.

You know, someone to meet with me regularly in a discipling relationship…to challenge me and encourage me and model all those disciply things.

Even though it’s never been structured like that, John and I have both had mentor-types that have been hugely influential.  We’re really so grateful for amazing Jesus-followers we’ve learned from.  When we were out to dinner the other night I was struck by how often we quote what these older wiser folks have taught us!

About five years ago our daughter, Katy, was interested in finding a mentor and asked me what I thought. It’s certainly not an exact science, and affinity and timing are key, but I reflected a bit and came up with the following suggestions on how to get a mentor…

  1. Put yourself in environments where you’re around people who are living out a life of discipleship you find authentic and winsome (No, not Superwoman or Spiderman, just someone a little more mature in the faith than you are maybe)
  2. Identify several people (or just one) you admire and would like to spend time with.
  3. Invite each of the people out to coffee or lunch.  Tell them you’d like the opportunity to get to know them better and ask them some questions to learn from them.
  4. Before you meet with someone, think of questions you’d like to ask them.  Maybe ask them to share their faith story with you.  Or maybe what books have been most formative in their life?  How do they grow in their faith?  What is one big mistake they’ve learned from?
  5. After you’ve met with the potential mentors, decide if you’d like to ask one of them to enter into a mentoring relationship with more regular contact.
  6. Decide exactly what it is you desire from the relationship.  Some mentoring relationships are short-term, for a season, maybe focused around a particular skill.  Others are open-ended.
  7. When you meet with someone to ask them to be your mentor, be clear what it is you want from them and why.  What are your goals?  How structured do you want to be?  How often would you like to meet?  Even if they have to say  “no” for whatever reason, they will be flattered and you will have benefited from the time together.  If they say “no”, ask them for other suggestions of mentor-types they think it would be good for you to get to know.
  8. Remember there are many different kinds of mentors.  Think outside the box!  Book mentors, Skype, small groups, yearly retreats are all possibilities…

Do you have a mentor?  What have they taught you?

Just a Quote

June 29, 2012 /

“Our legacy is the trail of bread crumbs we leave leading toward Jesus.  Make it look like you lived in a bakery.”  Bob Goff

Reflecting on my “crumbs” from yesterday…Where did they lead people?

Were they crumbs of grace?  Inclusion?  Value?  Encouragement?

What about you?

When Practice becomes part of Personality

January 9, 2012 /

I am a pray-er, but I don’t feel like I’m a very good one.  I don’t keep lists of prayer requests for others or date them or write down answers when they come, and I feel guilty that I pray on the fly a lot.  I journal prayers, but honestly they’re pretty self-centered.  I think I’m inconsistent in my intensity and devotion to this practice.

The thing is, I (and I think many of us) compartmentalize prayer like a word picture I read recently.  We can see prayer like little squares of syrup in a waffle that don’t spill over into other squares.  Prayer is in this square, and not that square.  We’re precise.  We follow guidelines.  We’re, dare I say, stingy with our syrup.

But I have the privilege of being friends with a man who is a drench-the-waffle-with-syrup-and-have-it-sog-up-everything kind of pray-er.  Literally, anytime and ANYWHERE you see him, he will ALWAYS say, “Let’s have a prayer.”

He prayed with a friend of ours over the broccoli in the produce section of the grocery store.

He huddled up with a bunch of half-dressed men in the locker room at the pool.

He jogged around our church praying for us when we first moved to Minnesota.  He prays with our daughters in the middle of a crowded room, oblivious to all around him.

Here’s the thing.  For Roger, prayer is not a practice.  Not a thing he does.  Not a square of his waffle to be filled with syrup.  It’s part of who he is.

Who Roger is is someone deeply in love with, and constantly in conversation with his heavenly Father.

Roger shows me someone with…

  • A posture of humility and dependence on God.  Someone whose life says “My God is big and I am small.”
  • An understanding of the character of God – His power, mercy, sovereignty
  • A perspective – an affirmation of who is ultimately in control.

Roger is about 587 years old, so he’s had lots of time to practice, but I wonder, at what point did this practice become a part of his personality?

What are ways you’ve found to incorporate prayer into the moments of your day?

© 2024 Laura Crosby

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑