Tag: listening (Page 2 of 3)

The Discipline of Different

March 8, 2016 /

I sit and stare. Very uninspired.

I’m doing a “Read through the Bible in a Year” plan.

The good part of this is that I don’t just get to choose my favorite parts to read each day – you know the blue sky promises, and the verses that support my own biases and self-righteousness.

The bad part is that I don’t get to choose my favorite parts to read each day.

This was part of my reading recently.

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You notice there is no highlighting, no notes written in the margin, no underlining. It’s God’s instructions for the Tabernacle in Exodus 26.

Bo.Ring. Continue reading

How to be a Thirst-Quencher

May 6, 2015 /

“Come and see a man who knows all about the things I did, who knows me inside and out.” John 4:29 MSG

This was part of my reading this morning.  You know who says this…the loose woman who goes to draw water in the hottest time when no one else is around, so she can avoid the judgmental stares of fellow thirstys. Kind of like a morbidly obese man shopping at the 24 hour grocery store at midnight.

Instead, the woman at the well runs into Jesus who sees her, and knows her and loves her. And the story of her life is forever changed.

The woman looking for water, the morbidly obese man looking for groceries, you, me. We’re all thirsty. Continue reading

When Life is Loud and Crazy and You’re Doing All of the Things

March 20, 2015 /

Confession: I went running on a tiny island in the Bahamas this morning and I felt guilty that we have generous friends who have lent us their home here, and we can take the time to enjoy it in this season of our lives.  And as I am running feeling all the guilty feelings, here’s what I’m thinking…

I’m wondering how many of you read the post on Wednesday about doing good, and you sighed deep, and your shoulders slumped, and you Just. Felt. Tired. Even more tired maybe than usual. Because for you it’s a season of weariness.

  • You’re a single 20-something working two jobs while trying to put yourself through grad school.
  • You’re a business owner with huge responsibilities to bring in revenue, and cast vision, and lead your staff well.
  • You’re a married mom working outside the home and raising kids while trying to keep your marriage alive.
  • You’re homeschooling 4 kids and volunteering as a coach or a deacon or a leader in some capacity.
  • You’re a single mom juggling job, daycare, car-pooling, finances, house repairs and….

You’re stretched to the max.

You read the post and wanted to throw something at the screen and yell, “I don’t need a kick in the pants! I need a latte and a massage!” Continue reading

5 Things to Do When a Friend is Hurting

March 9, 2015 /

A few weeks ago I wrote about those times when we feel like we’re under water and we’re trying to help a drowning friend, but everything is in slow motion, silent and hollow, and we can’t communicate and it’s so frustrating.

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One of the common elements I notice with friends who are in hard seasons is loneliness. Not necessarily that they are alone, but they feel isolated. We feel bad and we want to fix it or DO something and we don’t know what to say or do.

My friend Betsy Anderson came in and shared on this subject with a community of young married couples I shepherd at church last Sunday.

She is wise and kind and has experienced a tremendous amount of pain herself.  She has written curriculum and taught workshops on caring for each other in community.  I’m not good at this, but I’m learning from her. Here are a few of her good insights: Continue reading

Two Practices to Help you Get off the Moving Walkway

February 23, 2015 /

Returning to Real Life after a vacation (even a short one) in a Warm Place is a little like jumping onto one of those moving walkways at the airport in the “keep walking” lane. You’re concentrating on getting Somewhere and thinking about Things, while juggling luggage and trying not to run over other moving walkers.  It’s easy to be absorbed with lists and tasks rather than present to God and others.

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This was my challenge last week. Real Life kept getting in the way of a Real Relationship with God – you know, where you actually are still, and listen, and talk to Him and say “What do You have to tell me about Yourself and myself, Jesus?”  I’d be humming along, getting things done – even good things like reading the Bible – and all of a sudden realize that being with Jesus was kind of like brushing my teeth – I was going through the motions without thinking about it.

Here’s what happens when being with Jesus is like brushing my teeth – I start feeling fat and ugly and discouraged and cranky, tired, and out of sorts – kind of like a toddler who needs a nap or a time out. Continue reading

Holding My Breath

July 2, 2014 /

It’s summertime, which for me conjures up memories of being at the “Lake House” with my cousins, perpetually in a wet swim suit, rarely out of the lake.  One of the many games we would play was “who-can-hold-their-breath-longest-without-dying”.

Ok, it wasn’t a real active game, but you know…simple pleasures.  And nobody actually died so our parents considered it a win.

Sometimes, as adults, without even thinking about it, we play life like the  “who-can-hold-their-breath-longest-without-dying” game.

When I started running, I became much more aware of the importance of rhythm and rest, and basics. Like breathing.  And not holding our breath til we, you know, pass out.

This is not about Sabbath, but Selah. Selah is a term used mostly in the Psalms and a few times in Habbakuk that is a bit of a mystery.  Scholars aren’t positive what it means, but they think it means “rest” or “pause”.

Mark Batterson says, like in music, if Sabbath is a full rest, maybe Selah is a sixteenth rest.  A chance to catch your breath.

Or maybe Selah is the life jacket that helps us pop up above the water of everyday stress.

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If, as Eugene Peterson says, Sabbath is a day of “shutting down and shutting up.” maybe Selah moments are those in your day where you stop to think about breathing.  Reorient, and remember that you’re not in control, but you know the One who is. Continue reading

Changing the Conversation

March 3, 2014 /

Last night most of America was watching the Oscars...the red carpet beautiful people who seem to be as good at dodging questions as a politician running for office.  Many questions the press hurls at them are inappropriately personal or just stupid.  Who wouldn’t want to avoid some of that?  But there are other times when changing the conversation is positive, and important to growth.

This afternoon I’m leaving on a trip to Israel/Palestine.  I’m traveling with a few people from our church, led by Telos, an organization we’ve been partnering with that desires to engage evangelicals in conversations with Israelis and Palestinians pursuing peace.

This is hard stuff.  Complicated and intense and emotional, and personal for so many.  Frankly, I might prefer it if Jesus invited me to follow Him into, say…Hawaii maybe. Continue reading

Lost In Soweto and Bethlehem

December 24, 2013 /

“Let us drown out the howling nonsense of Gomorrah with the melodies of the New Jerusalem.” – Spurgeon

In 1996, shortly after the Rwandan genocide, just when AIDS was gaining attention, not many years after the end of Apartheid in South Africa, John and I got lost in Soweto.

There were six of us, white americans crammed in a car, driving around in circles until we stumbled upon the place where Nelson Mandela came and spoke after his release from prison. As I remember, it it was large and cavernous.  We walked inside, the only ones there.

In the silence, our friend started singing in a crystal clear voice, “Amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.  I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.”

The notes softly bounced off the ceiling, the floor, the walls.  It was a holy moment.  We let it wash over us.  It was a melody of the New Jerusalem.

Many years later I walked into the church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, crowded with tourists, wanting a piece of Jesus, but not necessarily wanting the sacrifice necessary for Peace. Continue reading

Three Things to Listen For

May 22, 2013 /

John and I “mentor” several young men and women, but I’m not crazy about that word.  Basically we’re all just travelers on a road trip trying to help each other find the exits, and the Culvers, scrape up enough money for tolls, and not crash.

All of us stumble and run and trudge along with each other.  Parent and child, friends of different generations, boss and staff, coaches, teachers, trainers…

Healthy or wounded or recovering, energized at times and weary at others, seeking sometimes, finding at others.  Discouraged or joy-filled we need each other.  

In all relationships I want to be present to God and to the other at the same time.  Kind of like when I’m in the Great Room at church after worship, talking to someone I can always discern John’s voice if he’s also in the room.  It’s distinctive and I know it.  How I long for that same ear attuned God’s voice while I’m in conversation with others!

Awhile ago I heard someone suggest that as we are present to God with others, there is often one of three things He may want us to listen for that may be needed.

1 Thessalonians 2:11,12 says “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.”

Whether it’s a child or friend or co-worker, does this person need encouragement and affirmation?  A picture of what’s possible?  Celebration of what you’ve seen in them?  Naming their gifts?

Or do they need an empathic listening ear?  Someone to sit by their side and remind them they’re not alone?

Lastly, might they need a kick in the butt?  Maybe that takes the form of correction or facing hard truth, or setting the bar higher?

This being present to God and others doesn’t come naturally for me.  It takes practice and  paying attention.  And sometimes I just ask the person, “What do need most today?”

As I reflect over my conversations from yesterday, I was responsive to God’s nudging with friends who needed comfort and encouragement, but with the boy I tutor, I think urging – more challenge – was called for, and I missed it in the moment.

What about you?

God Told Me…Maybe

March 27, 2013 /

Yesterday I got a call from a young friend trying to make a big decision.

And he said “God told me…” a bunch of times throughout the conversation.

I squirmed and felt just a tiny bit uncomfortable as I listened.

I’m not crazy about that phrase.  Not because I don’t think God “speaks”, but because 99% the time when I hear those particular words, what “God tells” the person seems to be rationalizing something they really, really already want to do.

Continue reading

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