Tag: identity (Page 3 of 4)

The Words you Hear

December 11, 2013 /

This past weekend my husband John and I preached together at our church.  It’s always such an overwhelming and…sobering (?), scary (?) privilege to preach and ask for God’s voice to drown out anything of “us” that might distract.

We spoke on Mary and finding joy in the midst of any circumstances.  That was all fine, but then God totally messed with me.

In our sermon I shared about an experience I had had the night before.  I went to a dinner celebrating the birthday and an anniversary of sorts for a dear friend of mine.  Each of us gathered there brought a word or words to share that communicated some of the incredible value our friend has brought into our lives.  As we shared, our words were written in gold marker on a glass hurricane with a candle inside to be a reminder to her when she lights it, that words like beautiful, effervescent, intentional, and wise advisor describe how God is using her in the world.  It was a privilege to speak these words of truth to my friend.

In our sermon I said that most people don’t get to hear words of value and affirmation spoken over them by friends like that, but God desires to whisper His words of love to us every minute.  Mary’s joy and peace came from the fact that she knew who she was and whose she was.

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Who’s at Your Table? Really

December 9, 2013 /

Last week we gathered some couples in our home for a casual dinner of chicken chili and ice cream with homemade chocolate sauce.  We lit candles, and a fire in the fireplace and it snowed outside.  The house was almost all decorated for Christmas except our tree wasn’t up yet.  It felt cozy and I loved getting to know these folks better, connecting them to each other.

One thing we often do when we have new friends over is to ask each person to write down a little known fact or hobby, or experience, or accomplishment.  We fold the papers, put them in a bowl and draw them out one at a time.  As we read them, we try to guess who wrote each one.

Afterwards, here’s a picture I posted on Instagram.

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Voices

November 29, 2013 /

It’s the day after Thanksgiving and if you are reading this, chances are you’ve resisted the urge to rise before dawn and scrape and claw through Walmart for the “best deals of the season”. (#walmartfights is trending on Twitter.)

You’ve said “no” to Black Friday, or perhaps you’re still just in a turkey coma and are calling it “contemplation”.  You’re reflecting on yesterday, or you still may be with family navigating dysfunctional dynamics feeling as tense as Jack Bauer defusing a bomb with 3 seconds left.

You may be with family members whose voices can strengthen you, reminding you of your inestimable value (like my mom, and basically everyone I’m related to does), or stab you in the back like the Red Wedding on Game of Thrones.

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Last week I wrote about the power of words and the Word as we move into the holidays when there’s more emotion, more stress, more people, more…family.  So today, on Fearless Friday I thought I’d just post this video that’s a reminder of Whose voice is the most important to hear from.

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Do You See This Woman?

November 13, 2013 /

There’s a rooster crowing over and over in the distance, and the trill of another bird I don’t know. Giant storks roam in the field. The smoky aroma of cook fires and bright tropical flowers in a brighter hot sun surprise my senses.  Mt. Kilamanjaro wreathed in clouds is in the distance.  Dark, friendly faces greet me.

“Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore.” (or Minnesota).

Tanzania.  The surroundings are unfamiliar.  Different. But God is here and remains the same.

And His Word remains the same too, but I don’t.  He seems to show up as a tour guide, pointing out unseen treasures especially in new places.

There is a passage I’ve been reading every day while I’ve been traveling, praying, “Lord what do You have to say to me?” (and yes, that’s a smudge of coffee and chocolate in the picture :))

Luke 7:37-47. The Message translation.  The story of the “harlot” who comes to a “Pharisee’s” house where Jesus is visiting, anointing Him with expensive perfume and her tears.  The indignant Pharisee is schooled by Jesus who calls her “impressive” and points out that those who have a lot to be forgiven, will have a lot to be thankful for.

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When God Calls You to Stop Doing Stuff and Let go of Your Balloons

October 30, 2013 /

Anyone who knows me knows I don’t sit still well.  I love a high goal and lots of action.  Lots of people and passion.  “Not somehow, but triumphantly!” is a refrain in our family.

But with some of the people closest to me, lately I find myself saying, “I think you need to be gentle with yourself.  Give yourself grace.  Stop. Rest.”  Easier advice to give than to take.

There’s a friend who experienced an adoption nightmare while trying to be faithful to God’s leading is left reeling, confused, wounded.

A friend battling pancreatic cancer, wondering “What can I do?”

And another who’s been through a season of conflict and unfair criticism at work.

We all go through different spiritual seasons.  Some where we’re growing, others where we’re re-orienting, but often the most neglected are those seasons of rest, when God says, “Sit awhile with Me.  The world will keep spinning without you.” Continue reading

One Quality That Sets a Leader Apart

October 21, 2013 /

I look around the conference room in a San Francisco church.

The round tables are filled with high capacity young leaders.  Some have brought with them the early career fatigue of balancing family and ministry and finances, and communities resistant to innovation.  There are too few minorities in the room.  And too few women.  We all know more than we do.  We all wrestle to be authentic and not just tell our “success stories”.  Instead, to talk about our doubts and hopes and fears.

As I sit with these leaders for the day there’s something I notice that sets them apart.  They come with the posture of learners.  They have strength and resolve, but also humility. They ask good questions.  They listen.

They live into the belief that anyone anywhere is a potential mentor, whether younger or older, blue collar or white collar, mom or migrant worker.

We often hear the refrain, “Leaders are learners.” and it’s true.  But it’s important to say more than that.   Continue reading

Baggy Overalls, Hot Mamas, and Your True Self

September 16, 2013 /

Think of your most comfy, go-to-on-bad-days piece of clothing.

You know what I mean…the super soft snuggly sweatshirt with paint stains from when you were fixing up your first house.  Or the holey pair of jeans from 1998 that make you think of friends.  And watching Friends.

You like to call it “classic”.

For me that piece of clothing is a tad more embarrassing than classic.  A little more obviously out of style.  It’s a pair of baggy, khaki capri overalls that are just sooooo comfortable.  I usually reserve them for wearing at the lake, or on days when I’m not going to see anyone (or at least anyone I know).

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But a few Wednesdays ago was a bit of a bad day.  I did a six mile run which started off with a bite in the butt by a dog who chased me (I know!  How embarrassing is that?!), and ended with me positive I was going to die and will never be able to finish this race or get water to thirsty kids in Zambia.  Total fail.

So I took a shower and put on my baggy Khaki overall capris.  The only other thing I had the rest of the day where I would see people I knew was a missions meeting at the home of my friends, Mike and Megan.  I debated changing, but I thought, “No, it’s safe.  Although they always look totally hip and cool and pulled together even in their exercise clothes, I think they’re ok with my come-as-I-am self. Not my fancy-pants, polished, achieving clean water with a half-marathon, trying-to-be-good-self. Continue reading

On Being Found

August 5, 2013 /

We’re celebrating our 30th anniversary today which brought to mind this post from last year.  For those of you newer to this blog, my hope is that it is encouraging to you today.

This is a story about me.  But it’s also about you.  Whether you’re married or single, read on.

Today is our 29th wedding anniversary.  And 28 years ago today was a bad day.

Our one year anniversary.

We were with family and friends at a cabin, high on a pine-filled shore overlooking a pristine lake in northern Wisconsin.

Cannon balls into the icy cold crystal blue.  Double tubing wars bumping  over the waves and plumpy only-in-the-summertime-at-the-cabin clouds overhead.  It seemed like a good day.

And it was.

Until husband John took his wedding ring off to ski and put it on the pier, asking our friend to watch it.

You know what’s coming next, don’t you?  (And by the way, WHO takes their wedding ring off to ski???)

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A Birthday, a Wedding, and Who You Really Are

June 10, 2013 /

May 18th my mom turned 80.  May 26th our daughter Maggie got married.

Two milestones for two amazing women within eight days.

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You would never know my mom is 80.  It’s a little demoralizing when we’re out together and people think we’re friends instead of mother and daughter.  She classy and spunky and fun and fashionable.  In short, she is remarkable.  And she has a remarkable relationship with both our daughters.

She just finished making 407 cake pops for Maggie’s wedding, ordering flowers,  overseeing a team creating 60 flower arrangements, and creating centerpieces.

That, and Maggie’s been known to borrow her shoes.  Yeah, she’s got game.

But the two things that are most inspiring about her are that she’s always available and she loves me unconditionally.  I know, I know, she’s my mom, and it’s part of her job, but wow, she does it better than anyone I know.

We were disciplined as kids, but I don’t ever remember her criticizing us. Her trust in us and her belief that we would choose well was powerful.

She always believes the best.  I don’t mean she is blind to our faults.  But if I was convicted of bank robbery I’m sure she’d visit me every day with her famous brownies.

She wouldn’t talk about how wrong I was to rob the bank.  Instead she’d talk about how great I looked in my orange jump suit, and how she was sure I would be the friendliest person in the clink.  She would be confident that I’d be the next Chuck Colson, turning it all around for good.

You would think with all this good lovin’ I’d be super secure in my identity as a beloved child of God – the truest thing about me and you.  The one thing that can never change.  In spite of this, a million people and circumstances every day try to tell me and you differently.

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The One that Jesus Loves (More than Me)

April 29, 2013 /

Confession:  Every once in awhile (read: way too often), I look at ______, or _______, or _______  and I compare myself and come up short and decide I’m going to throw in the towel.

No, nothing drastic, but just I’m just going to quit “showing up”.

Jesus clearly has gifted “them” more, is using “them” more powerfully, loves “them” more.

I decide, yep, I’m going to give up writing or parenting, or setting goals, or mentoring or exercising or speaking or being available, or risking…

This has prompted me to question, “What is it that inhibits and what is it that inspires us to live our unique story?”

What motivates you to become a better version of yourself?  To celebrate the work God wants to do uniquely through you?

And conversely, What is destructive to your true self – the self that finds meaning in being a beloved child of God?

This is not a new struggle and I know I’m not alone. Can I get an “Amen!”?

As I’ve been talking with God about this yelling “Lord help me figure this out! Now!”  He brought to mind this little exchange in John 21 (remember John is writing):

Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them…When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”  Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.”

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You know how John has that irritating way of referring to himself as “the disciple Jesus loved”?  I wonder how that made Peter feel.  Was he tempted to buy into the lie that John was the ONE (the only one) Jesus loved?  More than anyone else?  Was he tempted to compare and be blinded to the ways that Jesus loved him and wanted to use his unique gifts, temperament and experience?

Jesus basically says, “Quit looking at his his life, his “likes”, invitations, followers, hits, gifts, retweets, his family, his successes or failures and look at Me.

Because I have a story I want to write through you that I can’t write through him.”

I believe Jesus says that to us too.

And so we can say: “I’m the one that Jesus loves.  And so is he.  Or she.

God has given me a unique voice and a valuable story.

And God has given them a different voice and different valuable story.”

You have gifts and relationships and experiences and a platform that I don’t have.  That no one else has in the exact same combination.

I pray you’ll move into this Monday celebrating that you’re the one Jesus loves and is using in a way that He can use no one else.

What’s one thing you can celebrate about your unique voice today?

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