Tag: hospitality (Page 4 of 4)

How Do You Picture Choosing Life?

April 18, 2014 /

As I’ve been traveling I’ve not been able to post very consistently and I’ve really dropped the ball on our One Word Fridays.  Sorry about that.

Like I wrote the other day, it’s been a week of living back into real life.  And part of that has been letting my heart and mind catch up with the rest of me.  Doing a kind of  Examen.  Celebrating places of Life, and mourning places of Death.

The main thing that drives me to write this blog is the conviction that we don’t just drift into becoming more like Jesus.  We have to pay attention.  When we do, maybe we end up saying with Jacob, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.”

So…today I’m paying attention to the “patches of God-light” or instances from the past two months that shouted, “This is what it looks like to choose LIFE!”.  Here are 6 of them:

1.  Hospitality  We had the delightful privilege of staying at the guest cottage belonging to some friends in Charlotte NC while we met with some mentors.  We had dinner with our friends and some different topics of interest came up in our conversation.  The next morning (one when rain was predicted), here’s what our hostess left outside our door.  The books are about the topics we had discussed the night before.

Choosing life = paying attention to the way I can serve others.

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2. Relationships  A week in one of my favorite cities, reconnecting with friends in ministry at National Community Church and spending time with daughter Katy!

Choosing life = learning from everyone everywhere.

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3. Travel in Israel/Palestine, Telos Conversations and at the International Justice Mission Global Prayer Gathering

Choosing life = partnering with God in His work of bringing justice around the world.

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4. Creation Life emerging from death, even in Minnesota!

Choosing life = noticing the smallest gifts.

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 5. Words

Choosing life = choosing to share life-giving words that build up rather than tear down.

Bob Goff (@bobgoff)
God doesn’t look for typos in our lives; He’s a creator, not an editor. We’re all rough drafts of who we’re becoming.

6. Random Acts of Kindness Twice in the past two months – once here and once in Florida, people have surprised us, paying for our dinner!

Choosing Life = looking for opportunities to delight others.

photo-102What are some places you’ve experienced Life over the past two months?

 

Easter and a Lunch in Jerusalem

April 16, 2014 /

It’s Easter week and I do NOT have the gift of evangelism.  Easter delights me.  Evangelism…well, not so much.

Can you relate?

I was part of a Christian organization in college that taught us to “share our faith” (read: tell people how messed up they are and scare the Hell out of them.  Literally).  We had to go out and practice “sharing” the 4 Spiritual Laws with people (read: random, confused strangers).

It may have scarred me for life – not the tract, the way of “sharing”.

Or maybe I’m just using that as an excuse.  I have nothing against the 4 Spiritual Laws as a resource.  Ironically it is how I came to faith in Jesus.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I was sitting around a table in Jerusalem eating lunch with a very diverse group of people.

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There were other Jesus-followers like me (you know, kind, sensitive, careful to not offend).

And there was our host, who pastors a church of mostly Messianic Jews.  He is passionate about bringing Jews into a relationship with Jesus – accepting Him as their Messiah.

Lastly there was a Jewish couple at the table who do not buy the Jesus as Messiah line.

I sat in the middle of the table with the “Burdened pastor guy” at one end, and the Jewish couple at the other.

What if the Jewish couple felt offended, uncomfortable, or judged?

What if the pastor “preached” at them (or served pork?).

What if my friend Matt Moberg asked a question that stepped on someone’s toes somewhere at the table and they slammed down their fork and stormed out?

I know that the Gospel can be offensive even if we don’t make it offensive with our delivery. (1 Cor. 1:23, Romans 9:33)

But it didn’t happen.  What also didn’t happen was an honest conversation where real questions were asked respectfully from both ends of the table.

The pastor shared his prayer – that the Jews would come to know Jesus as their savior.

The Jews at the table did not fall to their knees and “pray the prayer of salvation”.  Everyone was respectful and no blood was shed.

Afterwards it prompted several conversations in our group about our posture towards non-believers in Jesus, or explorers, or people of other faiths.

Augustine said “Preach the gospel everywhere. If necessary use words.”  Most of us, I think, have decided that words are really never necessary.

Are we actually denying our faith by our uber-sensitive silence?

I’ve been thinking…What if we, as Christians, saw ourselves as hosts at a luncheon, around a table with guests of varying experiences, just like the one I attended in Jerusalem?  Maybe we’d prioritize

  • People over projects.  If you’re getting to know someone, you want to KNOW about them and have them know about you…authentically.  Build on what you have in common, but be honest about where you have different perspectives or experience.
  • Love language over foreign language.  Genuinely care for the other.  Ask yourself  if you’re speaking a “language” they’ll relate to.
  • Conversation over conversion (which means more asking than telling)
  • Appetizers over All-you-can-eat Old Country Buffet. Offer tiny bites (like those mini desserts in shot glasses they have now).  Don’t try to cram a whole meal down someone’s throat.

Like I said, I’m really not good at this, so I’m trying to learn.  Are there experiences or thoughts you can share?

“But in your hears revere Christ as Lord.  Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.  But do this with gentleness and respect…”  1 Peter 3:15

 

 

7 Ways to Thrive (or at least survive) at a Holiday Party

December 16, 2013 /

The other day I wrote about the people we’ve gathered around our table over the years.  I wrote about how we all have fascinating stories that are part of God’s larger story and part of life is getting to know each other’s stories.

“Well,” you might have said to yourself, “Stories shmories.  All fine and dandy for you, but holiday parties are about as fun to me as being chosen as a tribute in the Hunger Games.”

Unknown Ok, this post is going to change all that.  It will be a Christmas miracle and you’ll want to send me all your Christmas cookies as a thank you.

This morning there was a guy and a girl, maybe in their late 20’s sitting near me at Starbucks.  I’m thinking morning coffee date.  Match.com.

I really wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but it’s possible my natural spy skills automatically kicked in when I heard certain words like “single” and “Christian” crop up.

Here’s the thing. The girl talked about herself nonstop!  I kept wanting to stuff a Cranberry Bliss bar in her mouth and say “STOOOOOOP TALKKKKKING!  Give the poor guy a chance!”

Yep, most people love to talk about themselves.  Who could possibly be more interesting than…you?

But also in the same coffee shop is Tom, who comes in every morning and no matter how friendly I am he seems to have a hard time conversing with me.  He just always seems uncomfortable and lonely and I want to give him a big hug and say “It’s gonna be ok.”

All of this has gotten me to thinking about the ways that we connect, especially at holiday parties.  Here are a few ideas: Continue reading

Who’s at Your Table? Really

December 9, 2013 /

Last week we gathered some couples in our home for a casual dinner of chicken chili and ice cream with homemade chocolate sauce.  We lit candles, and a fire in the fireplace and it snowed outside.  The house was almost all decorated for Christmas except our tree wasn’t up yet.  It felt cozy and I loved getting to know these folks better, connecting them to each other.

One thing we often do when we have new friends over is to ask each person to write down a little known fact or hobby, or experience, or accomplishment.  We fold the papers, put them in a bowl and draw them out one at a time.  As we read them, we try to guess who wrote each one.

Afterwards, here’s a picture I posted on Instagram.

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What I’ve Learned About God at Halloween

October 31, 2013 /

This is a re-post from two years ago.  I hope it’s an encouraging reminder this Halloween.


I think that Halloween is my husband’s favorite day of the year.  Odd, I know for a pastor.  The pc answer should be Easter,right?  But honestly, I think he likes Halloween best because there’s not much that brings him as much joy as handing out candy and oohing and ahhing over every single kid’s costume.  He looks forward all year to parking his chair by the front door and waiting for kids to come.  Even though he’s terrible at figuring out what the costumes are, he greets each kid as if they were THE most amazing, creative, delightful goblin of the night.

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5 Things I’m Learning Around my Scarred Table

July 29, 2013 /

Tuesday we had a large group of people over for a BBQ in our backyard.  It was truly the perfect Minnesota summer evening.  Dry, 78 degrees, miraculously mosquito-free.  (for a minute I looked around thinking Jesus must be coming back).

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It was a delightful evening of good conversation and laughter, but it’s not like everything was perfect.  John burned most of the brats and 7 (yes 7!) people cancelled within an hour and a half of our start time.

It’s not like everything is always coordinated.  I’ve been known to use a hodgepodge of leftover holiday paper napkins.  Other times we’ve planned for outside but at the last minute rain has blown in or it’s been so hot and muggy we’ve had to frantically un-set and re-set for Plan B, everyone preferring to crowd in our small, but dryer, cooler house.  And I don’t always  usually handle this well.  Often I’m just a stressed out hot mess about change and flexibility.

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What Does “Witnessing” Look Like?

July 24, 2013 /

Monday I was out mowing the lawn on the steep hill in front of our house.  Back and forth under and around the trees, sweating.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw two pairs of women with young girls, Bibles in hand, making their way down our street, stopping at each house.  Jehovah’s Witnesses.  With invitations.

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I thought, “Ugh!  They have no relationship with me and they’re going to try to convert me.  I’m a challenge to them.  A project.  A name to add to their list.” (Christians would never do that! :))

My first inclination was to keep my head down and keep mowing, hoping that they’d take the hint and pass me by.  But then that pesky Holy Spirit reminded me of what I had been reading.  How I had been impressed by Phillip’s example of just asking a question of the Ethiopian who didn’t know Jesus (Acts 8) and how Jesus had modeled asking the question “What do you want me to do for you?” (Mark 10)

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What are You Longing For? Bread and Wine, part 2

March 20, 2013 /

There’s a fire in the kitchen fireplace and candles are still flickering, empty wine glasses wait to be washed and crumbs are on the wooden countertop – evidence of hastily bagged leftovers I urged friends to take as they wrestled into coats and boots to head home after our dinner together.

It’s 9:15 and John’s not home yet, and the snow is piled high outside my window.  The serving platters are empty, but I am full.

Here’s what I did.  Remember my little group of women than God totally orchestrated and drew together around what we thought would be a book study and then it ended up being about so, so much more?  A young single, a personal trainer/professional cheerleader, a stay-at-home mom, a social worker, a pre-school teacher…But “titles” are deceiving! Well, that’s the group that came over for dinner on a Wednesday night recently.  Shauna’s new book, Bread and Wine was our excuse for gathering.

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Heather, who’s newly engaged and also a fan of Shauna’s writing, made the Bacon Wrapped Dates and the Dark Chocolate Sea Salted Butter Toffee, and I made the the Green Well Salad, and Risotto because I never had and we have one gluten-free gal and I knew everyone would forgive me if it didn’t turn out.

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Before the evening arrived I asked my friends to think about a question from Shauna’s chapter, “Enough” – Have you ever longed for something?  What helped you through that season of longing?  What are things that prompt discontent in you?”

We all (except maybe Heather) loved the bacon wrapped dates, and those who are Risotto vets kindly said I did it “right”.  We over-dressed the salad, and never got around to talking about the specific question I had thrown out, but none of that really matters, like what you watched on T.V. last night doesn’t really matter.

What matters is how we hugged and laughed and said what’s important.  We oohed and ahhed over Heather’s new engagement details.  We celebrated with Molly who was leaving the next day to visit her daughter who’s studying in Italy, and we looked into the eyes of another asking about the Hard Thing.

What do you long for?

We never asked that question, but we answered it with our hearts and eyes and ears all night.

Isn’t “community” one of the answers we’d all give?  I love the way Shauna writes of this:

“We don’t come to the table to fight or to defend.  We don’t come to prove or to conquer, to draw lines in the sand or to stir up trouble.  We come to the table because our hunger brings us there.  We come with a need, with fragility, with an admission of our humanity…The table is the place where the doing stops, the trying stops, the masks are removed, and we allow ourselves to be nourished, like children…Come to the table.”

This coming to the table takes courage, but like our little band of intrepid women and our couples’ covenant group, and the families we’ve done life with over the past 25 years have discovered, it is the place where God serves up true soul food and your longings are met in Him and through His people.

Come to the table indeed.

Kingdom Come Small

February 20, 2013 /

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is “Who has despised the day of small things?” (Zechariah 4:10)

It’s comforting.

It feels like a personal p.s. after all the flashy miraculous fire-and-rain-prophets-of-baal-showdowns.  Like God’s saying “That’s not the whole story.  And you, even you – person of small things – have a part to play in my kingdom capers.”

I feel reassured by this.  This reminder that in the economy of God there really are no small things.

It makes me think of Bill. Bill with two artificial knees, one artificial hip, and steel in his spine and in a worldly sense, a person of small things.

Bill is a fixture at our church.  A remarkable man with a remarkable gift of hospitality and a servant’s heart.  Rain, sleet, or snow he is out in the parking lot in his orange vest, directing traffic, or holding the door for someone or helping someone out of a car.

Don’t despise the day of small things.

For the past 5-6 weeks there has been an older gentleman coming to the early Sunday service at our church in a cab. He uses a walker and his name is Vic.

This past Sunday he was waiting for the cab sitting on the heat register in the entryway after church.

As the cab pulled up, Bill opened the car door for Vic.  He started to get in and cab driver came and took his walker to put in trunk.

Ollie, (another greeter on Spirit steroids and person of small things) said “Hi” to the driver, asked him his name. And then, “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

Don’t despise the day of small things.

The driver, Ali, a Muslim gentleman, helped get Vic strapped in back seat, and Ollie came back with a cup of hot coffee, saying “Be careful, it doesn’t have a lid.”

The driver said “thanks” and drove away.

Don’t despise the day of small things.

Such small things!  No big deal.

But what if…

What if this was the first gesture of kindness this Muslim man experienced at a Christian church?

What if Ali told his friends about this faith community and it was the beginning of a bridge?

What if the care Vic received was the only gracious encounter of his day?

What if a cup of coffee, or an open door, or a welcoming smile was part of a much bigger thing God was at work doing?

What small opportunities has God given you to be part of His work in the world?

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What Dentures and Buses may have to do with Hospitality

March 5, 2012 /

People say I have the gift of hospitality, but I once put a cup of salt, instead of teaspoon of salt, into a batch of boiling noodles for lasagna so clearly it can’t be about gourmet cooking.  I also once totally forgot that we had invited six people for dinner, so hospitality apparently doesn’t hinge on attention to details.  Instead, I would agree with someone I heard recently who said, “Hospitality is inviting heaven into the house”.

Actually I’d expand that to say, “Hospitality is inviting heaven into the house…the bus, the office…the coffee shop…the airplane…the parking lot.”  And I know many people who do that much better than I do.

Awhile back, John told a story in a sermon about a mentor of ours.  For a season, Gordon and Gail MacDonald were pastoring in New York City.  They befriended some city bus drivers who were Christ-followers, but felt they didn’t have an environment for ministry.  Gordon pushed back and suggested:

“Why don’t you start up your buses each morning and, while the engine is warming, walk down the aisle of the bus and shout, ‘In the name of Jesus of Nazareth, I declare this bus to be a sanctuary where passengers will experience something of the love of Christ through me.’ You can be a pastor in your own sanctuary.”

The bus drivers took his suggestion and experienced a transformation of perspective on their everyday life.  Suddenly their buses were a safe place where they were aware God was present and welcoming.

The next morning, Monday, when John and I walked into Starbucks, Libby, our friend and barista smiled big and said “Welcome to my sanctuary!!”  And it IS, because Libby welcomes people with the eyes of Jesus.

A few weeks ago I was on a flight, sitting next to a man with Dementia who lost his upper dentures during the flight and insisted that they were in one of the seat pockets.  I believe the flight attendant who patiently, calmly searched each seat pocket for this confused guy’s dentures had the gift of hospitality.  Jesus would have done that.  She brought a bit of heaven into a long flight.  This elderly gentleman felt welcomed and cared for, teeth or no teeth.

A friend of ours for years has directed traffic at our church.  Rain, snow, sun.  He’s the most welcoming guy I know.  Smiling, gracious, the first face people see when they enter our parking lot.  A slice of heaven in the parking lot.

Then there’s my friend who recently gutted her condo and remodeled.  When the walls were stripped, before new paneling and paint she took colored markers and wrote scripture and prayers all over the walls along with encouraging notes to the workmen.  She was saying, “Welcome to my sanctuary.”

Right now, we are traveling in the Middle East – a place known for both hospitality and violence.  What if Arab and Israeli, Muslim and Jew alike could look each other in the eye and, with open arms, say “Welcome to my sanctuary”?

Welcome, Jesus.  May each place we set our feet today be a sanctuary, a piece of heaven on earth.

Where is your sanctuary today?

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