Tag: Henri Nouwen

The Opposite of Fear on Fearless Friday

March 8, 2013 /

My husband John is ridiculously wise and is my biggest cheerleader, praying with and for me regarding this blog.  He’s also extremely gracious, so when I asked him to write this guest post while we’re on vacation, he said “Yes.” 🙂  

It was a crash course in Fear, the single scariest moment in my adult life.  Suspended over the Zambezi River with its crocodiles and the roar of Victoria Falls, my pudgy almost-60 year-old body connected to the bridge by a rope that seemed thinner than yarn. 1-2-3 Jump!  Are you crazy?

IMG_2305

Bungee jumping was terror for a moment, but there are other fears, fears I’ve gotten so used to that they shape my life.  I believe we’re all afraid, experts in fear. While we’re afraid of different things, Fear is not only universal, it has a common impact: Fear STOPS us.

Fear Stops us from:

  • Seeking help for a relationship, instead of running away or living in denial or blame
  • Sharing our dreams, because then someone else would know of our dissatisfaction AND the insecurity that paralyzes us
  • Reaching out to forgive, or asking forgiveness instead of avoiding
  • Crying out to God for help, because our fear of change is even bigger than the status quo, and God might actually DO something

Instead of acting, we live with our fear, we live In fear.

I love Henri Nouwen’s image: “we live in  the House of Fear, and our fears have power over us, even as we long to live in the House of Love.”  I see how we are trapped in the House of Fear, and the lock is on the inside.  How to leave the house of fear?  Will we ever feel Safe?

But the opposite of Fear is not safety, it’s Trust, another word for Faith. Trusting something stronger than fear that paralyzes.  Trust frees us to be vulnerable instead of faking, encourages us to act (even if only a baby step off the ledge).  Only Trust can move us toward the House of Love, where Jesus shows that ‘love casts out fear’.

So a young couple share how they are facing their fear to trust God, and uproot their young family to follow a dream.  A young man faces his fear of disappointing me, and takes a step in trust to a new future.

And, finally, I jumped (though it may have taken a little push).

IMG_0759

If we were sitting over coffee (non-fat white mocha, lite whip) and I shared one of my fears, what would be on the tip of your tongue?  What fear do you yearn to be free of, and how long has it been since you’ve cried out, asking God to free you to the House of Love?  What might be your first little step?

OneWord2013_Fearless150

The Other “F Words”, part 3

September 21, 2012 /

I once put 2 CUPS of salt into a recipe of lasagna instead of 2 teaspoons.

Ok, actually I ran out of salt after a cup and a half, but still…  Inconceivable that anyone could be such an idiot?  A failure?  I know, I know it’s hard even for me to believe.  I can only chalk it up to the fact that I was multi-tasking and my mind was elsewhere.

You’ve never made a stupid mistake?  Or failed at something serious you worked hard for?

Did you fail your driver’s test the first time?

Fail to make the varsity tennis, football, or swim team?

Been fired?

Have a failed marriage?

Failed to get a promotion you applied for?

Failure.  Another uncomfortable “F word”.

Even writing the word brings feelings of humiliation and embarrassment.  A sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Experiences, choices, words, I’d really like to forget                    (another f word) :).

I have plenty of failures to reflect on.  I’m a passionate, aim-fire-ready kind of gal.  Leap before you look.  It’s all good.  Enthusiasm wins the day.

As a result I’ve inadvertently stepped on toes, lost money, received rejections for less-than-best work submitted too quickly.

Maybe your pattern is different, but you can still think of failures that make you cringe.

As I’ve been reflecting on failure I’ve read some inspiring stuff.

“Grace means our failures don’t define who we are anymore; they just shape who we’re becoming.”Bob Goff

“If you know you are the Beloved, you can live with an enormous amount of success
and an enormous amount of failure without losing your identity.
Because your identity is that you are the Beloved…” Henri Nouwen

Somebody asked Winston Churchill one time, “What most prepared you to lead Great Britain through World War 2?

This was Churchill’s response: “It was the time I repeated a class in grade school.”

The questioner said, “You mean you flunked a grade?”

Churchill said, “I never flunked in my life.  I was given a second opportunity to get it right.”

What we would like to delete, God wants to complete (I’m sure I heard that pithy little saying somewhere, but I can’t remember where)

But how do we translate all this peppy talk into anything more?  We all are going to fail, but what’s next?  How do we “fail forward” as I think John Maxwell said?

Stop trying (or crying) for a minute and hold your “failure” (whatever it is) before God and say,

“Here it is Lord.

Use it.  Redeem it.  Teach me from it.  Show me my next step.  But don’t let it define me, paralyze me, or tempt me to turn from You.  Thank you that I am Your beloved child.  No matter what.”

What have you failed at that God has redeemed?

© 2024 Laura Crosby

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑