Tag: heaven

When God Sets Eternity in Our Hearts

November 16, 2015 /

Dear Baby David,

As I write this, John and I are in Malawi, but I’m thinking of you.

It’s been four months since you left us.

Thanksgiving is next week and you won’t be here to play football with the family, or cook the turkey on the grill, or sit at the head of the table. You and John won’t be cleaning up in the kitchen after the feast.

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And soon we will enter a new season. Snow will softly cover the ground like a Mama quietly tucking her baby in with a comforter.

I want to stop the days and the snow and the Christmas season from coming.

It feels wrong to go on without you and I keep thinking of things I wish I had talked to you about before you died.

Faith is a gift, but it’s also a choice. We choose to continue to trust that God is good in spite of this very bad thing that has happened. Very bad for us, but you not so much.

People like to say “He’s in a better place…He’s with Jesus…He’s free from pain now” and I believe it’s true, but often they’re words we say without really understanding, because, well, we’re still here – alive, but not with you.

Here’s the thing…It felt like if we talked about “IT”, we didn’t have enough faith. Like we were giving up on OUR specific preferred prayer outcome.

If we discussed the possibility of death we were opening a scary door we didn’t want to crack. Because as wonderful as life in heaven might be, we’re basically a very selfish lot who want you here.

Yes, we fully knew as we prayed for healing, not only that God COULD easily heal you in this life, but also that He MIGHT not.

His healing might come on the other side. We believe that because we trust in Jesus, Life with Him forever in heaven is ours. But we really didn’t want you to go ahead without us.

So when I heard John Ortberg preach on death and heaven in the spring, I wanted to share it with you, and talk about it, but also… I didn’t.

Ortberg quotes Ecclesiastes: “[God] has also set eternity in the human heart…” And then he says:

Everybody dies. Every creature ceases to exist, but God has set eternity in the human heart.

I think about it like this sometimes. One of the most amazing aspects of nature to me is how God has placed in animals…a kind of built-in homing instinct of incredible accuracy….

Homing pigeons, I understand, can find their way home from places they have never been on the planet so accurately they were actually used by the ancient Romans and Genghis Kahn.

Dung beetles actually navigate home by the Milky Way.

Salmon leave the ocean and travel to the exact spot on the exact river where they were born.

And then my favorite part: Continue reading

Your Biggest Cheerleader

October 17, 2015 /

Last Thanksgiving my brother David and I ran a race together – a 5 mile Turkey Trot.

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On his birthday I gave him a turkey costume – a goal to work towards…We would run again, and he would wear the costume this Thanksgiving when he was stronger. I promised him if he couldn’t wear it I would.

This morning I set out driving to my home town where tomorrow there will be another run.

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This one is to raise money for Melanoma research.  And I’ll wear the turkey costume. Because David isn’t here to run.

David died on July 18th. In my Bible I found this, dated July 16th. Continue reading

Just Wanted to Know if You Were Awake

July 24, 2015 /

This is not a blog meant to be about me, or my family. It contains a lot of personal stories, but my prayer is that by the end of each post you feel that it’s about all of us and God and His everyday grace. I’ve written a lot lately about my brother’s fight with cancer in the hopes that some will gain encouragement or insight from our experience. I won’t write much more about this, but thought I’d share with you what I said at David’s memorial service. We are so grateful for the love, support, and prayers from family and friends.

Until I was 11 years old and David was 9, Cris 7, we lived in a house on Highland in Glen Ellyn. I had my own room, but David and Cris shared a room next to mine. Every night we would all be put to bed at the same time and after the lights were out, I’d hear the voices of my brothers coming from David and Cris’ room.

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David would say: Hey Cris?

Cris would respond: Yeah?

David would say: Just wanted to know if you were awake.

Then silence for a minute and Cris would say: Hey David?

David would reply: Yeah?

Cris would say: Just wanted to know if you were awake.

This would go back and forth until one of them was too tired and fell asleep.

Today, in one sense David has been the one to fall asleep, but in another he is more awake and alive than he has ever been. 

And this is what he wanted us to know.

The chapter of his life with cancer was filled with pain and prayer and hope and questions, but mostly, the refrain, “God is the Author of my story and He is good. I trust Him no matter what.”

As wonderful as my brother was, he was far from perfect (after all, I told  you before that he pulled out my Mousey Moo’s tail when I was 8, and for that I think he should have to pay), but he was forgiven for that and everything else, and lived a vibrant life seeking to honor God.

He would want me to tell you, that if you don’t know it yet, this same Life can be yours if you just turn to Jesus and say “I’m sorry for the many ways I’ve messed up. Please forgive me and be the Author of my story. I just want to be a supporting character and let you be the Writer.”

You may think, “Why would I want an Author who let such a great supporting character like David die?” and I’m with you. Continue reading

A Near Death Experience

November 19, 2012 /

There’s a prerequisite for heaven.  It’s called death.

You remember that line from the movie, Princess Bride?  “There’s dead and then there’s mostly dead.”

The other day I realized I was only mostly dead.  Or even less than that.  Maybe just a smidge dead.

But I wanted to be SEEN as totally dead.  Dead to self.  To selfishness.  To self-centeredness.

Several times in the course of two days I gave time and effort and gave up comfort to go out of my way and serve someone.

And you know what?  It didn’t seem to matter at all.  No one said “thanks”, much less threw a parade.

The kid I tutor was rude and uncooperative.  The meal I made for someone didn’t fit their dietary restrictions.  And, and, and…

And my bratty 13-year-old self, wanted a high five or at least a little “Woohoo!” from Jesus.  And by that I mean from everyone around me.

The main person I really wanted to serve was myself.

I wanted the image of serving others, and the perk of being noticed and admired.

I wanted it to look like I had a shiny outside but my inside was pretty gross…maggoty in fact.

Have you ever recognized this in yourself?  Maybe once?

Continue reading

Gold Cards, Security Lines, and Jesus

August 13, 2012 /

Do you know what your airline status is?

You know…the color that tells everyone how special (or not) you are?

I’m Silver in the eyes of Delta…just about to cross that magic threshold to Gold, but not quite there yet.  And I can’t even see the Promised Land of Platinum from where I sit in coach.

Yes, I’m Silver.  But John?  John is Gold.  All this usually means is that he gets bumped up to 1st class if it’s a 45 minute flight to Dubuque in non-rush-hour.

The other day, however, it meant more.

Continue reading

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