Tag: fights

Squirrel Fights and Peace in the Ukraine

March 7, 2022 /

I was at war.  In case you’re a pacifist reading this blog, I thought it only fair I should warn you. 

I’m usually a peaceful person, but was pushed and I fought back.  My enemy?  The psycho squirrels who live in our yard and were trying to occupy new territory in our garage.

It all started when we did a little trimming on the large maple tree in our back yard.  Part of it had died, leaving a hollow branch – a branch that squirrels had found to be a cozy condo during our long Minnesota winters.  I think they had installed a fireplace and a Jacuzzi. 

Well we desperately wanted to save it so we had to cut it back.  I’m not sure, but we might have damaged their Jacuzzi.

This seemed to irritate them.  The next thing I know I’m sitting on the patio under the tree and a squirrel hurls a grenade at me!  Ok, not a grenade, but close.  I’m not kidding!  Here’s the evidence.

Before I knew it, every time I went outside there was a defiant squirrel blocking my path, basically saying “Make my day!” in that evil squirrely way they have.  Every time I went into the garage to get in the car I could feel them watching me.

So about now you may be wondering two things.  Is this woman crazy?  And what does this have to do with paying attention to God or the Ukraine?

Well, the other day my husband John and I had a little “discussion”.  We both wanted to go two different places together, but….there was some disagreement on the mode of transportation, the exact timing and the goals and objectives we wanted to accomplish at said destinations (you know, the crucial stuff you have to decide when going to the store and to a party).  

We got into this intense conversation that we agreed was RIDICULOUS, and went on for a length of time I’m embarrassed to admit.  In the middle of our fight I thought, “SQUIRREL!  This is a ‘squirrel’!  Why are we wasting time and energy trying to exert control over this?”

Later I was reflecting on this as I was walking and the song “Instruments of Peace” came on.

In my little world, whether it’s an argument with my husband, or an issue with a colleague that requires forgiveness, or a random encounter with someone very different from me it’s not World Peace,  but… maybe it’s still important.

I may not have the platform or influence of Brené Brown, but maybe for today God is calling me to pursue peace with the “squirrels” in my life.

“Make us, instruments of peace.  Where there’s hatred let love reign.”

Maybe today it means building a bridge by talking to someone I don’t think I have anything in common with.

“Make us, instruments of peace.  In dissonance bring harmony.”

Having a hard conversation and really listening to the perspective of someone I think I disagree with.

“Make us, instruments of peace.  Bringing hope to hopeless things.”

Letting go of my need for control and dying to my own agenda.

“Oh Prince of Peace your song we sing, To be sons and daughters of the king.”

Praying God’s blessing on someone who has refused to forgive me.

“Salaam.  Shalom.”

It’s not world peace, but maybe we need to start small.                                                      With squirrels.

 What does pursuing peace look like in your world today?  

The one John wanted me to title “The Love Banker”

February 15, 2012 /

Friday morning John and I had a fight. A big fight. Well, not exactly a fight.

In case you didn’t know, John’s very competitive. (I am too. I’m the one telling the story so I don’t have to mention that, but I’m trying to be fair).

We were on the golf course and I thought John acted like a jerk and hurt my feelings and I got teary and after arguing about it we didn’t speak.

Towards the end of our round he said, “Do you have any ideas about how to get on the solution side of this?”

I said “No.” and that was that.

Ok, maybe it wasn’t my finest hour.

We went our separate ways and I talked to two of my best friends, both of whom said they didn’t know what the issue was, but they were on my side.

Totally. They were sure I was completely right and justified in my feelings and John deserved the worst punishment imaginable.

They are good friends.

I told them we were supposed to speak to engaged couples about how to have a happy marriage at a marriage mentor dinner at 6:00. Ugh.

My one friend said “You guys have the best marriage of anyone I know so I’m sure you’ll get it figured out by 6:00.”

I wasn’t sure I wanted to get it figured out. What I really wanted to do was tell John he was on his own and he could go talk about marriage without me. (Again, not my finest hour)

John and I both ended up at home for lunch. I was silent. (my family’s way of dealing with conflict). He tried again. He apologized.

I said it was fine, but I still didn’t like him very much.

Later in the afternoon I was laying down on the couch in our living room staring at the ceiling and I started thinking about John, and our marriage, and a gift he got last Christmas.

 

. 

I thought of this bank that Katy and Maggie gave him. You push a coin through the slot in the top and there’s a digital counter that adds up the amount in the jar. John and the girls spent a chunk of Christmas day putting in coins and seeing the amount grow. Now it sits on a stand at our back door where John can add his change when he comes in. It’s about 3/4 full and registers $83.50

We’ve been married 34 years and John’s done a LOT to make deposits in our relationship.

I thought of all the ways he honors me, affirming me both publicly and privately. And more than that how he honors me by what he doesn’t say.

Example: He has never said “Gee, do you really think you should eat that ginormous 983 calorie dessert with 52 grams of fat?” (for which I’m eternally grateful)

Then I thought of how he serves me in so many little ways, like covering me with a blanket when we’re watching TV., or calling every day when he’s on his way home from work to see if I need anything at the store.

Over the years John has been a jerk once or twice. And I’ve been a jerk more often than that. Each time we’ve made withdrawals from our relational bank.

I’m thankful for the deposits we’ve made and the reserve that’s there. It all adds up…makes sense, and that’s the truth and it’s ok, but what about when it doesn’t?

In many relationships the withdrawals are greater than the deposits and God calls it grace.

Grace doesn’t add up. Doesn’t make sense. Grace doesn’t keep track of wrongs…or withdrawals.

God doesn’t keep track when John is thoughtless or I am selfish. His mercies are new every morning and the bank is always full.  There’s the math that counts and the math that doesn’t and in marriage, although the deposits that build trust are important, we’re dependent on the math that doesn’t count.

For that I am profoundly grateful.

So today, what mercies are you thanking God for?  How are you making deposits of loving service in the lives of those around you?

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