Six months ago when we were sharing our “One Word”, a thoughtful friend sent me these. Tangible reminders of my word.
Whether this is your word for the year or not, a fear most people struggle with is the fear of failure. The other day I listened to a phenomenal message by Craig Groeschel on this topic and I wanted to pass it along to you. I hope you’ll be able to listen here because it’s great and has some delightful illustrations, but if you can’t, here are his main points:
About a year ago I received an invitation to do something new and scary that would be an adventure. Teaching pastors in rural Africa. Stretching. Hard. Solo.
I had been asking God for invitations, so my first thought was “I need to say ‘yes’. Jesus followers always say “yes” to invitations to serve those in need, right?
But several details about this ask caused me to pause and ask for time to pray about it before answering.
I prayed honestly and intensely about this offer for over six months. I felt torn. There were specific reasons God brought to mind that led me to believe I should say “no”, but along the way I kept asking, “If I say ‘no’ is it You, or is it really because I’m afraid of taking this risk?”
And “Isn’t God’s will always the hardest thing?”
It was difficult to send the final email saying “Thank you, but no”.
I was afraid of letting down people who needed help.
I was afraid of letting God down.
I was afraid of making a decision that would close all future doors.
If I turned this down maybe I’d discover how dispensable I really am.
As counter as it was to my initial reaction, and as hard as it was, I felt led to say “no” for now.
And then, last night, as I walked into our quiet house alone, out of “nowhere” as clear as everything real, God whispered, “You don’t need to go to Kitale. I love you. Period.”
You don’t need to be afraid.
What scares you most about saying “no”?
It’s Fearless Friday, so as I was running yesterday I was thinking about what the total opposite of fear would be.
I’m sure there’s more than one answer, but one thing that squeezes fear out is the exuberant filled-up to overflowing joy of the with-God life. Joy doesn’t leave room for fear.
Kind of like pushing back from the table at Thanksgiving stuffed with deliciousness so you can say “no thanks” to a piece of fear pie. You’re already full.
We fill up in different seasons in different ways, but Summer just seems made for “tasting and seeing that the Lord is good”
Yesterday morning I tried to check Jesus off my to-do list.
This happens in seasons of stress and busyness (are there any seasons of not-stress-and-busyness??). I check him off by giving Him a nod (Read: glance at a paragraph of a devotional or toss up a “bless so-and-so”). Check. Done. Moving on to important stuff.
The thing is, when I do that, it’s kind of like being in the “fun” house at the circus. Deadlines, people, circumstances become distorted like in those crazy mirrors – scarier than they really are. My perspective is skewed.
I feel the fear of failure.
I feel the pressure of performance, not the presence of Jesus.
I miss the sacred moments. I miss the small mercies to be thankful for.
But yesterday Jesus didn’t seem to want to remain as just a checkmark. He graciously kept showing up in my day, reminding me that He goes before me and behind me (Isaiah 52:12b).
I’m amazed at how fear can constantly raise its head in different guises. Like Whack-a-mole, you clonk a fear mole of rejection, and a little fear mole dressed as change pops up. You whack the fear mole of the future, and up pops the fear of conflict or provision, or significance.
Sometimes trepidation needs a little inspiration to encourage us when the moles seem persistent. So, here are a few resources on Fearless Friday:
It’s Fearless Friday and one of my favorite people in the world graciously agreed to guest post! I know you’ll be blessed by these thoughts from my talented friend Sharon Sampson. She’s the Director of Communications at our church (Christ Presbyterian Church, Edina) and this year has started her own consulting business called Open Book Communications
There’s an old Stephen Sondheim song I like called “Anyone Can Whistle” because it points to how fear tends to work its way into my life. In the song, a seemingly strong, capable woman sings this:
“Anyone can whistle,
That’s what they say — easy.
Anyone can whistle
Any old day — easy.
It’s all so simple:
Relax, let go, let fly.
So someone tell me why
Can’t I?”
My husband John is ridiculously wise and is my biggest cheerleader, praying with and for me regarding this blog. He’s also extremely gracious, so when I asked him to write this guest post while we’re on vacation, he said “Yes.” 🙂
It was a crash course in Fear, the single scariest moment in my adult life. Suspended over the Zambezi River with its crocodiles and the roar of Victoria Falls, my pudgy almost-60 year-old body connected to the bridge by a rope that seemed thinner than yarn. 1-2-3 Jump! Are you crazy?
Bungee jumping was terror for a moment, but there are other fears, fears I’ve gotten so used to that they shape my life. I believe we’re all afraid, experts in fear. While we’re afraid of different things, Fear is not only universal, it has a common impact: Fear STOPS us.
Fear Stops us from:
Instead of acting, we live with our fear, we live In fear.
I love Henri Nouwen’s image: “we live in the House of Fear, and our fears have power over us, even as we long to live in the House of Love.” I see how we are trapped in the House of Fear, and the lock is on the inside. How to leave the house of fear? Will we ever feel Safe?
But the opposite of Fear is not safety, it’s Trust, another word for Faith. Trusting something stronger than fear that paralyzes. Trust frees us to be vulnerable instead of faking, encourages us to act (even if only a baby step off the ledge). Only Trust can move us toward the House of Love, where Jesus shows that ‘love casts out fear’.
So a young couple share how they are facing their fear to trust God, and uproot their young family to follow a dream. A young man faces his fear of disappointing me, and takes a step in trust to a new future.
And, finally, I jumped (though it may have taken a little push).
If we were sitting over coffee (non-fat white mocha, lite whip) and I shared one of my fears, what would be on the tip of your tongue? What fear do you yearn to be free of, and how long has it been since you’ve cried out, asking God to free you to the House of Love? What might be your first little step?
I do not think of myself at an insecure person. So writing these next sentences feels a little like Lance Armstrong must have felt coming clean with Oprah. Except for the fact that I don’t have millions to lose and I’ve never won a bike race and I’m not a guy. Ok, it’s totally different, but here’s my confession.
I’ve been decidedly daunted this week. Perfectly paralyzed. Buffeted by the winds of self-doubt and discouragement.
This seemed to come out of nowhere, but when I stopped to pray and reflect I can trace the beginnings to a Tweet. Yep, it took just 140 insensitive characters to take me down. “Really?” you’re saying. Really?
And then there was a post by someone who made me furious and jealous at the same time.
And a word here or the lack of a word there…
Holy Buckets! Just days ago I was undaunted…bullet-proof, regardless of any spitballs that might be spat my way! And now the spiral into the comparison trap that left me in a heap of ” Not good enough. Not good enough.”
Ever end up there? Maybe by a different road, but still?
Who or What is it in your life that brings up those feelings of fear or insecurity?
Recently I read this quote by Rick Warren that made me respond “Yes!”:
“Insecurity is an internal alarm that says you’re trusting in something that could be taken from you instead of [trusting in] Christ.”
So I’ve been stewing and praying (sometimes the two look a lot alike) about how to deal with this. It’s messy and it’s a process and it’s not easy. Here are a few of the things I’ve been trying.
1. Identify the voice. When you feel angry, or fearful, or jealous, or small, do you stop and think “Where is that coming from? Just who or what is really saying that to me?” Why am I giving it such power in my life? Why does it bring up this strong emotion in me? Does it tap into a past wound that I need to address?
2. Challenge the voice with the truth. “Bring every thought captive to Christ.” What would Jesus say in response to this narrative? If the story in your head says anything other than that you are gifted by God, fearfully and wonderfully made, cherished by Him, created for good works that He has for you, it’s a lie and you need to tell it to shut up. (I know, easier said than done!)
3. Manage what or who you’re allowing to get in your head. For me this means ruthlessly putting up some boundaries. Fasting from some social media, and un-following some people who are wonderful but bring out my worst self. It may be totally different for you. It might involve the people you spend time with or the shows you watch or where you go or whatever…
Why is this so important?
Because if we listen to the voice of fear and insecurity when God calls us to go, we’ll stay.
When He calls us to stay the course, we’ll run away.
When He calls us to speak, we’ll remain silent. And I truly believe that all of our voices are valuable and needed in the kingdom.
Those are a few of my strategies. What helps you?
P.S. I wrote this and afterwards I saw this great image posted by John Acuff. Happy Friday!
It’s only been 3 weeks and I already want to change my One Word. Maybe “change” is too strong, but “refine”? Yeah.
My word is Fearless. But when I say fearless I don’t mean the opposite of timid or fearful.
I mean “resolute”, “secure-enough-in-God-to-proceed”.
I think “undaunted” may be better.
Undaunted is a “nevertheless” word. One that throws “but God…” in the face of “but what if?”
I think one of the reasons I’m so enamored with the word “undaunted” is because I recently read Christine Cain’s book by that title.
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