Tag: fear (Page 4 of 4)

When You’re Afraid God Won’t Show Up on Fearless Friday

February 22, 2013 /

It’s Fearless Friday which made me think of this post from last summer that I’ve edited for today…

What if God just doesn’t “show up”? Ever have that fear?

Me too.

I think our daughters Katy and Maggie may have felt that way last weekend also.

They are basically being evicted from their apartment.  No one understands exactly why (especially since they’re model tenants and the ONLY tenants in a 4-plex row house), but Maggie’s theory is that the owner wants to convert it to a meth lab.

There have been two “perfect” apartments that have come on the market this past week, but this is D.C. where there are approximately 4,569 type-A lawyers and lobbyists kicking, clawing and back-biting their way through the quaint 19th century row house front doors, and closing a deal is a long-shot for two “Minnesota-nice” girls

However, as consummate Crosby competitors, the girls have scoured Craigslist, ready to spring into action.  They’ve jumped through every hoop, filling out long applications, giving financial records and references, showing up early for the open houses, going through an interview in one case, and enlisting a lot of people to pray.

No go.  And no reason why.  And we were praying for Pete’s sake!

After their loss this weekend, the girls have visions of being modern day Israelites wandering in the wilderness, wondering if they’ll ever close in on the promised land.

Big deal you say?  The Jews and the Palestinians are still looking for a home while people pray.  Yeah.  I know.

No real comparison.  But as I’ve walked in the sadness and frustration with Katy and Maggie, praying from afar, my temptation has been to think, “What if God doesn’t DO something?  What if He doesn’t ‘show up’?”

In situations like this I tend to:

1.  FRANTICALLY DO SOMETHING MYSELF (desperate)!   Sign a petition.  Tell K&M to bake cookies in order to bribe a prospective landlord. Get a lawyer involved.  Write a letter to SOMEONE IMPORTANT (like President Obama) asking him to intervene.  Anything!

2.  Spiritualize.  This is not our “home”.  Our true home is in heaven and we’re just pilgrims passing through.  “In this world you’ll experience trouble…” Blah, blah, blah.  Maybe true, but not always helpful.

3. Let go (when I start settling down).  Again.  And pray “Abba Father, I’m doing what I can do, but I need You to do what only You can do.  I really don’t understand this, but I’m not You and I trust You have a better plan…a plan to form something in them, or in me, or in all of us through this experience, or provide something better, or draw us to Yourself.”

4.  And eventually, to hold on.  Hold on to the same God who took care of Hagar when Sarai kicked her out – “the God who sees me”.

The same God who took care of Elijah on the run.  The God who seems much like a gentle mother, giving his toddler a snack and a nap.  

The “but God” God.*

There was a flood, but God remembered Noah and sent a breeze.

There was injustice, but God used it for good in the life of Joseph and the Israelites.

Jesus was crucified for our sins, but God raised Him from the dead.

This may sound similar to spiritualizing, but it’s not.  Because when I hold on to the character of God I can’t clutch my what if’s.

The size of my God puts the size of my problem in perspective.

What helps you when you when you’re afraid God won’t “show up”?

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*Thanks to Mark Batterson for this reminder!

Sprinkles and Naming Stuff

February 15, 2013 /

It’s Fearless Friday!  I hope you’ll join us on our One Word adventure this year.

Recently I was with two different friends, at different times, in different places who, with hesitation and eyes cast down, admitted their dreams to me.

You know,the big dreams of what they’d really like to do and be. They were afraid to say them out loud.  Afraid they’d seem too…big.  Too crazy.

But they were brave and told the truth.  And it made me think of this video I saw recently.

I watch this and I think, aren’t we all just like this little guy with evidence smeared all over, afraid of admitting to God what He already knows?

Afraid to name either the smelly garbage or the shiny brilliant hopes that seem crazy, but that are as clear to Him as the sprinkles on our face.

What is it that you’re afraid to name?

It’s not like God doesn’t know, but still He graciously asks us the same the questions He’s been asking for centuries.

“What do you want me to do for you?” (Mark 10:51)

“Why are you here?” (1 Kings 19:9)

And maybe most importantly, “Why are you so afraid?” (Mark 4:40)

You know what terrible thing happened when my friends shared what was in their hearts with me?

Absolutely nothing.  They didn’t implode and disintegrate.  Bob Costas didn’t come on T.V. and broadcast the ridiculous news that two idiots had said some wacko stuff.

When they told me I was delighted!  I was excited for them and I wanted to enter in and roll up my sleeves and help.  And with my response, there was, on their faces this look of relief…and almost wonder that they had named this big thing and were still there and it was ok and not so scary after all.

Could it be that even though God sees all of our sprinkles – the evidence of every hope and fear, every dream and sin and wound – He invites us with His questions to come to Him and name it all so that we see that it’s not so powerful or scary after all.

And then He brushes the sprinkles off our face and says, “Let’s roll up our sleeves and get to it!”

And so begins His work of refining and redeeming, equipping, and guiding.

What is something you’ve been afraid to talk to God about – a crazy dream, a deep wound, a secret sin, a profound desire – and what’s happened when you’ve named it with Him?

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The Voice of Fear on Fearless Friday

February 1, 2013 /

I do not think of myself at an insecure person.  So writing these next sentences feels a little like Lance Armstrong must have felt coming clean with Oprah.  Except for the fact that I don’t have millions to lose and I’ve never won a bike race and I’m not a guy. Ok, it’s totally different, but here’s my confession.

I’ve been decidedly daunted this week.  Perfectly paralyzed. Buffeted by the winds of self-doubt and discouragement.

This seemed to come out of nowhere, but when I stopped to pray and reflect I can trace the beginnings to a Tweet.  Yep, it took just 140 insensitive characters to take me down.  “Really?”  you’re saying.  Really?

And then there was a post by someone who made me furious and jealous at the same time.

And a word here or the lack of a word there…

Holy Buckets!  Just days ago I was undaunted…bullet-proof, regardless of any spitballs that might be spat my way!  And now the spiral into the comparison trap that left me in a heap of ” Not good enough.  Not good enough.”

Ever end up there?  Maybe by a different road, but still?

Who or What is it in your life that brings up those feelings of fear or insecurity?

Recently I read this quote by Rick Warren that made me respond “Yes!”:

“Insecurity is an internal alarm that says you’re trusting in something that could be taken from you instead of [trusting in] Christ.”  

So I’ve been stewing and praying (sometimes the two look a lot alike) about how to deal with this.  It’s messy and it’s a process and it’s not easy.  Here are a few of the things I’ve been trying.

1.  Identify the voice. When you feel angry, or fearful, or jealous, or small, do you stop and think “Where is that coming from? Just who or what is really saying that to me?”  Why am I giving it such power in my life?  Why does it bring up this strong emotion in me?  Does it tap into a past wound that I need to address?

2.  Challenge the voice with the truth.  “Bring every thought captive to Christ.”  What would Jesus say in response to this narrative?   If the story in your head says anything other than that you are gifted by God, fearfully and wonderfully made, cherished by Him, created for good works that He has for you, it’s a lie and you need to tell it to shut up. (I know, easier said than done!)

3.  Manage what or who you’re allowing to get in your head.  For me this means ruthlessly putting up some boundaries.  Fasting from some social media, and un-following some people who are wonderful but bring out my worst self.  It may be totally different for you.  It might involve the people you spend time with or the shows you watch or where you go or whatever…

Why is this so important?

Because if we listen to the voice of fear and insecurity when God calls us to go, we’ll stay.

When He calls us to stay the course, we’ll run away.

When He calls us to speak, we’ll remain silent.  And I truly believe that all of our voices are valuable and needed in the kingdom.

Those are a few of my strategies.  What helps you?

P.S.  I wrote this and afterwards I saw this great image posted by John Acuff.  Happy Friday!

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Fearless Fridays

January 11, 2013 /

Last week, with fear and trembling, I shared my One Word for 2013 – Fearless.

Ironic, I know.  But there are so many important, relevant, good words!  What if I got it wrong?  I really prayed about strong, brave, secure, equipped, enough… What if it feels to God like I’ve thrown down the gauntlet (where did that phrase come from?) and says “It’s on!” leading me into situations to stretch me uncomfortably?  What if this year just shows how fearless I’m not?

And then I remembered the two words fear always asks: “What if…” And I said “So what.”

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I hope you’ll enter into this year-long adventure too.

I’ve loved hearing from you through email, text, and FB and I hope more of you will share your words here.  Some of your OneWords I’ve heard so far are Margin, Relinquish, Trust, Live, Content, Enjoy…

So here’s what I’m thinking…We’re going to rename “Spirit Stretch Fridays” (You may not have even known that was a thing.  I’ve kind of dropped the ball).

From now on it’s gonna be Fearless Fridays.  I’ll be posting on different aspects of Fear because I think it’s a pretty universal challenge and is related to so many other challenges.  AND, I’m going to be asking some of you to send me guest posts about your experiences with your One Word.

Here’s my thought for the day around “Fearless”.

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s just deciding that fear isn’t calling the shots anymore” Bob Goff

Soooo…here we go!

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Have a great Friday and consider sharing your word here if you haven’t!

Trading Places

November 12, 2012 /

Sometimes I’m just in the wrong place.

I walk into Starbucks in the dark of the very early morning before dawn and drop my books and computer in “my” place – the table the baristas say they’re going to put a plaque on with my name in case anyone should arrive before me and not know that it’s “mine”.  My guy Cory’s been known to tackle customers with their eye on my spot.

I sit for a minute and resist the urge to open my computer immediately.  I try to feel what I’m feeling…Anxiety, butterflies, stress…fear??  Yes, fear.

Fear of failure.  Of not adding value.  Not producing.  Ugh.

And then I come across this, scribbled in a notebook I keep in my purse.

Yep.  I have FPSD.  FearPrideSuccessDisorder.  You too?

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What Fear Can Learn from Liam Neeson

October 17, 2012 /

Can we all just agree?  Liam Neeson’s got serious game.  He’s not afraid of anyone as long as he’s got a cell phone.

In the absence of similar skills, approximately 47 million parents of high school and college students have made their kids watch at least the first half hour of the movie, Taken, in which “Liam’s” teenage daughter is snatched by bad guys who have (really) bad plans for her.  For the past few years parents have been sending daughters out into a dangerous world with the battle cry, “Remember TAKENNNNN!!”

And now, with a Part Two coming out, this was a tweet I read the other day.

All this Liam Neeson tough guy stuff has been on my mind because in almost every conversation I’ve had lately there has been an unwanted intruder.  His name is Fear, and he seems to be lurking, wanting to take me, my friends and family to places we don’t want to go.

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The Question that Fear Asks

September 19, 2012 /

Monday I wrote about fear (and btw have you seen those scary Orkin commercials about bed bugs??!!) and (more seriously) following a God who doesn’t fit our formulas.

As I’ve been facing my own fear at following Jesus I keep thinking about this story I heard a million years ago about a little boy trapped in the bedroom of his home which was on fire.

He was at the window, the home swallowed up in flames, no way out.  Smoke everywhere.

Below, a fireman called up to him, “Jump son!  I’ll catch you!  I’m here!”

The little boy screamed “No!  I can’t SEE you!!!”

“I know,” yelled the fireman, “but I can see YOU!  Jump!”

Cheesy story?  Maybe.  But it makes me think about the question fear asks of God.

The underlying question in the little boy’s heart was the question that fear asks:

What if…?

What if you don’t see me?

What if you miss?

What if you’re not strong enough?

What if I get hurt?

What if I look silly?

What if You catch me but it’s not a soft fall, or it isn’t the exact scenario I would like?

Sometimes I can’t see God.  And I’m afraid to jump.

Lord are You there?  Do You see me?  Are you big enough, strong enough…and do You love me enough to catch me?

(again, John, not me, bungee jumping at Victoria Falls, Zambia)

What does Love ask of you today that’s scary?

To go someplace uncomfortable?  Talk to someone uncomfortable?  Serve in way that’s uncomfortable?

Quit a job, or stay in a job that’s hard?  Give something away?  Build a bridge, or shake the dust off your feet?

Are you afraid to jump?  I am.  And I’m thinking about the lyrics from this Nicole Nordeman song:

But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He’s more than enough?
What if it’s love?

What are you afraid of?

The Other “F Word”, Part 2

September 17, 2012 /

Friday I posted about the other “F word” in our family.

On reflection I think there’s more than one “other”.  There may be a whole slew of other “f words” that lurk around like stealth ninjas ready to take us down.

So here’s number 2.  Fear.

I don’t think I’m a particularly fearful person.  But I might have slept in the car instead of with the bats in a mountain cabin once upon a time.  And Maggie and I might have told the producers of the Amazing Race that snakes were a no-go for us when we were auditioning.

I’ll admit I AM afraid of heights, failure, suffering, looking foolish in public, and dying in an airplane crash to name a few.  But so is everyone, right?

(John, not me, bungee jumping at Victoria Falls, Zambia)

If I’m honest, what I’m really afraid of is losing control.  At least the illusion of control.

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