Tag: Examen (Page 2 of 2)

Sitting with Dirty Hands

November 3, 2013 /

As I write this it’s 10 p.m.  I’m in Lusaka, Zambia, sitting outside with John at our hotel trying to take in the day.  There’s a small alligator in the hotel pond next to us and a gigantic cock roach who keeps coming around our feet, but we’re trying to ignore them and pay attention to other things.

Paying attention is a big deal any day of the week for me, but even more so on these trips.  And so, as a group we’re trying to do a version of the Examen each evening, looking for the places we’ve failed to cooperate with God in His goodness, and the places we’ve been present to Him, partnering with Him in His work.

Frankly, it’s darn easy to be present to…me.  My comfort, my will, my convenience, my agenda…But pay attention to Jesus?  Not so much.

And then you add in a team of folks you’re just getting to know and visits everyday with desperately poor but faithful people in another culture?  It’s kind of like playing one of those video games where you’re a race car driver and on the screen you see all these lights and images rushing at you as you try to steer the vehicle. Continue reading

What Do You Do New Year’s Eve Morning?

December 31, 2012 /

New Year’s Eve morning is a quiet one at Starbucks.  We’re reading backwards.

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Every year, during the week between Christmas and New Year’s day, my husband John and I make a practice of reading back over our journals from the past year.  As we do we try to pay attention to themes that God might be impressing on us.  We look for holy moments of His faithfulness to be thankful for, and answered prayer.  We try to read between the lines for blind spots we may be missing.

This is kind of like doing a yearly Examen.  Looking for the activity of God.  I’ve shared before that I’m spiritually ADD.  If I don’t make a discipline of paying attention, I’m like the spacey traveler who perpetually makes a wrong turn and all of a sudden looks around wondering how they got where they are.

A couple of weeks ago I heard about a study that was done on 300 of history’s greatest minds from a wide variety of disciplines.  The researcher, Catherine Cox, found one common theme among them.  They all kept a journal of one kind or another!

Yeah, I know, I’ve written before about how journaling isn’t for everyone, but today, at this dividing line between old and new, maybe consider looking back over 2012 and…

Identify three experiences or choices that have been life-giving this past year…where you have seen the activity of God.

And three places where perhaps you’ve neglected to seek God’s direction, forgiveness, or the power to reconcile.

Sharing these with someone else may make it more meaningful.  For me, I’m noticing the “with God” life this past year most clearly in places where I’ve stepped out, responding to invitations in new areas I would never would have dreamed up on my own (like in the areas of advocacy and reconciliation – so outside my comfort zone!).   I’d love to hear what you see as you look back over the year!

Squashed

December 24, 2012 /

I’m really am a Christmas girl.  I love it all.  Well, almost all.  The snow and twinkle lights and candles and cookie-baking.

But Christmas also means more people.  Family and guests visiting, more traffic in parking lots, more people at parties.  And I’m an extrovert, so that’s ok except that when people are extra busy they’re stressed and not the best version of themselves so it’s easy to get squashed in the crush of “me” and “my” and “this is what I want”.

Basically we’re all a pretty opinionated and selfish lot.

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Looking for Life and Death and Maybe Jesus

August 24, 2012 /

I’m taking a little August sabbatical.  I pray you’ll be blessed by a repost from last year on a Spirit Stretch Friday…

A few weeks ago I wrote about the Communion Debacle our daughters experienced at church.  It made me think about how hard it can be to truly enter into this sacrament and be present to God in the moment…reflecting on His grace and our sin.

Frankly, it’s darn easy to be present to…me.  My comfort, my will, my convenience, my agenda…But Jesus?  Not so much.  Are you with me?

Continue reading

One thing Jesus never did?

March 2, 2012 /
Last year we had a fantastic guest speaker at our church.
According to an informal survey he took, most people don’t like journaling.  And they are relieved when they are assured that Jesus never journalled.

We want to be like Jesus, and Jesus didn’t journal so that’s one less thing we need to feel guilty about.

But as someone who likes to journal, I want to say “Hey!  Wait a minute!  How do we KNOW He didn’t journal?  After all, the Bible never says “Jesus sang.”  Or danced.  But maybe He did!

Maybe He was a CLOSET JOURNALLER !!  Maybe He LOVED journaling!

Honestly, does it really matter if He did or He didn’t?                                                               I think what matters is the value beneath it.

Journaling is just a tool like other things that help us lead an examined life…help us pay attention the work of God in our lives…Help us ask “Lord what do you want to show me about Yourself and myself?”

Journaling may not be necessary for an examined life, but what is?                              Space?  Attention?

Maybe Jesus never journalled, but I look at the time He had walking or boating with the disciples from one town to another…

the time for reflection,

conversations,

questions,

the time carved out to be alone and pray…

That makes me think that even IF He didn’t journal, making time to process life with His Father and others was still a priority.

Maybe some days I need to put away my journal in order to be less self- absorbed, and maybe some days I need to force myself to pick up a pen and examine some of the not-so-lovely truths God wants me to see.

Do you like to journal or hate it?  Or are there other practices you use to pay attention to the work of God in your life?

Psalm 26:2,3.  Test me Lord and try me, examine my heart and my mind.  For I have been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.

Life and Death on Spirit Stretch Friday

November 5, 2011 /

A few weeks ago I wrote about the Communion Debacle our daughters experienced at church.  It made me think about how hard it can be to truly enter into this sacrament and be present to God in the moment…reflecting on His grace and our sin.  Sometimes we can feel so conspicuous and self-conscious, but not Jesus-conscious.  It made me think about a spiritual practice tied to confession and forgiveness that I find really meaningful, but have let slide recently.  It’s an ancient practice called the Examen you may be familiar with.

It simply means you look back over your day and identify where you sensed being most alive to God’s presence and pleasure most (the “spiritual” word is “consolation”) and where He felt most absent (“desolation”)…Where you experienced death or separation from God.

Life or Death,

Beauty or Ugliness.

It’s helpful for me to practice it with a regular activity like brushing my teeth, but if you’re more spiritual you might actually light a candle, get down on your knees and do it big time.

Last week I did it while I was riding my bike to Starbucks, asking God to help me look back over my yesterday.  The times that came to mind when I felt most alive and experiencing a sense of God’s pleasure were in the midst of a couple of hard conversations I had.  There was a sense of obedience, God’s grace, keeping short accounts… I thanked God for His equipping in those moments and the encouragement I felt at the end of these.  The time when I felt “desolation” was when I neglected to follow through and serve in a way that I could have.  I just pushed it out of my mind in favor of comfort.  As I thought of that I asked forgiveness and committed to follow through at the next opportunity.

Kind of like when you’ve painted a room and the next day go back to see if there are streaks or drips you need to take care of.

Have you tried this?  Want to try this?  

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