Tag: Examen (Page 1 of 2)

3 Practices to Help You Not Just Survive, But Thrive in Changing Seasons

September 3, 2022 /

I glimpse a small patch of bright fire red in the middle of still-green maple leaves as I bike through my neighborhood to Starbucks early in the morning, greeting dog-walkers and porch sitters with their first cup of coffee. Cardinals chirp and I imagine they are discussing plans to head south.

It’s not cold yet, but there’s a change in the air. The mornings are cooler and soon it will take all day for the sun to warm the earth, barely struggling up to the high, like a middle school boy trying to do chin-ups, then sliding quickly back down.

Yellow buses lumber through the neighborhood doing practice runs and we notice that dusk tiptoes in earlier. I smile at “bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils”.

I want to light candles, make soup, bake muffins. Things are changing.

Whether you’re back to packing lunches and driving carpools, adjusting to a new baby in your home, or anticipating a change in employment, moving to a new city, or trying to accept a “new normal” without a loved-one, Fall marks a season of change. And even good change can be hard.

I look forward, “adventurously expectant” (Romans 8:15 MSG) to what God has next, but still… It’s got me reflecting on how to “choose life”(Deuteronomy 13:19) while also in the midst of the grieving that inevitably comes with change.

Here are three practices I’m engaging in:

1. Honor Traditions

In seasons of change, traditions are comforting and reassuring.  Throughout Scripture God institutes festivals and celebrations that are woven into the rhythm of the year to help us remember His faithfulness. (Exodus 12:14-16; Joshua 4:6-8)

One of our traditions through the years as our daughters were growing up, was a “first day of school dinner” to which we invited two single friends on staff to join our family. They are like surrogate aunties for our girls. We always had homemade chicken pot pie and share “first day” highlights with laughter and thanksgiving.

What traditions can you continue to embrace (or even create) during a season of change?

2. Reflect on Relationships

Change in location or circumstances often means change in relationships. Some people you’ve seen regularly will seemingly vanish from your everyday life.

Transition is a good time to do a relational Examen. Reflect on the people in your life.

  • Are there any relationships where there might be unresolved issues?
  • Who are the friends that remain steadfast through changing seasons? How do you continue to nurture those relationships? 
  • Are there places where God is prompting you to reach out and make new friends?

Recently, God convicted me that there was a past relationship where I hadn’t sufficiently checked in to make sure there wasn’t unspoken pain. I felt like maybe I hadn’t adequately cared for this person in her time of transition, so I set up a coffee to ask how she felt. Is there someone you’ve been too busy to see in this new season? Might they be hurt?

3. Focus on the unchanging character of God

What are the attributes of God, the glimpses of grace and goodness you can call out each day as a counter-weight to the circumstances which may feel out of control or stressful in seasons of change?

If you have kids, can you share “God-sightings” around the dinner table?

Or journal about them? Or have a texting agreement with a friend – each of you texting how you remember God’s attributes each day?

The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

psalm 33:11

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness

lamentations 3:22-23

So, those are my thoughts on what helps when change seems to throw me a loop. Maybe just pick one to focus on each day this week.

If you’re a busy mom, click here to sign up for a free week of Devotional Moments for Moms.

And what ideas would YOU share? If you receive this in email, just click on the title at the top and it will take you to the website where you can leave a comment.

Soul Food for the Dog Days of Summer

August 15, 2019 /

As I read back over this post before hitting “publish”, it seemed decidedly “ordinary” and “unspiritual”. But I was reminded of a good insight I heard, reflecting on the life of David who watched sheep, and ran errands for his brothers before killing Goliath and ruling as king. Opportunity is often disguised in the ordinary. May we be faithful in all the little things, and look for the invitations of God every day!

I’ve been astounded to hear that some kids in the south of the U.S. are already heading back to school this week!

via GIPHY

That is just. so. wrong. Let me say that if you lived in Minnesota (as you should), it would be illegal to go inside for more than 15 minutes until after Labor Day.

Not to rub it in, but most this is a picture of most Minnesotans this week.

via GIPHY

I feel like it’s taken me awhile to get into the swing of summer entertaining, but this past week I’ve upped my game, reaching out to some neighbors we want to get to know better, and friends we haven’t seen in awhile. I’ve worked for years trying to figure out the easiest go-to meals for when we gather people around our table so I can be truly present.

One of my easiest summer menus for guests is this:

  • Polly’s mother’s Crab dip
  • Flank Steak on the grill marinaded in Lowery’s Teryaki marinade
  • Corn spoon Bread
  • Suzie’s salad with peppers
  • Penny’s Ice cream dessert

The crab dip can be made ahead and heated in microwave. Ice cream dessert is made day before. Most of Corn spoon bread can be mixed ahead (just add Jiffy at last minute and pop in the oven)

Corn Spoon Bread

  • 1 stick butter melted
  • 2 eggs hand beaten in
  • 1 small can whole kernel corn
  • 1 small can creamed corn
  • 1 box Jiffy corn muffin mix (must be Jiffy to work)
  • 1 cup sour cream

Mix together in casserole and bake at 350 for about 45 min – hour. This recipe serves 6, but you can easily double it and put in 9×13 pan.

Here is Suzie’s Salad recipe:

  • Lettuce
  • Red and yellow peppers chopped
  • Green onions chopped
  • Craisins
  • Sugar snap pea cut in 1/2″ pieces

Cook 1 cup of almonds and 1/3 cup sugar in frying pan over medium heat til sugar melts and covers almonds. Cool on wax paper and break apart.

Dressing: 1/4 cup tarragon vinegar, 1/4 cup sugar, 1/4 cup oil

And Penny’s Oreo Ice Cream Dessert

Crust: 1 Pkg (35) oreos crushed (I put in Cuisenart) mixed with 4 TB melted butter. * Reserve 1 cup of crumbs for topping  

Filling: 1/2 gallon ice cream – whatever you want! I did a layer – 2 pints – of coffee ice cream and a layer of 2 pints of chocolate chip ice cream. Spread softened ice cream over crust. Freeze.  

Topping: Melt 3/4 cup butter and 3 squares unsweetened chocolate in a pan on the stove. Gradually stir in 4 well-beaten egg yolks, and 2 1/4 cups powdered sugar, and 2 ts. vanilla. Cook thoroughly and cool. Beat til smooth.   Beat 4 egg whites til stiff peaks form and fold into cooled mixture.

Spread over ice cream and sprinkle with remaining oreo crumbs. Pop back in the freezer.

In past posts, I’ve written about the spiritual practice of the Examen which I really like. This week I found an app created by Fuller Seminary . They offer guided a Examen for different focuses that uses video. You can close your eyes and just listen to the prompts if you don’t want to watch the video. You might want to check it out, or take 9 minutes and just let the audio below lead you through the practice.

Some favorites from Instagram this week:

@biancaolthoff

That’s it for now. Happy weekending!

How Paying Attention Can Transform You

April 15, 2019 /

Every once in awhile one of the tennis pros who is trying to teach me will stand behind me as I serve and take a video of me on his phone. Then (and this is the really hard part!) HE’LL MAKE ME WATCH IT!

He’ll slow it down and show frame by frame what I look like, pointing out when my feet and hands and arms are in the right position, and when they are off (which is a lot of the time!).

The other day our favorite golf pro, Sarah, did this with John.

Most of us would say we want to be more self-aware, but it can be painful when blind-spots are revealed, amIright?

Even David, known as “a man after God’s own heart” was blind to his sin and prayed,

Test me, Lord, and try me,
    examine my heart and my mind;
 for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love
    and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.

Psalm 26:2-3

Ignatius of Loyola who founded the Jesuits, created a practice called the Examen. It’s a technique of prayerful reflection, looking back over your day in order to discern times of “consolation” – when we sensed God’s pleasure, and times of “desolation”, when we turned away from Him.

The Examen is like watching a video of your day, frame by frame and noticing the presence of God.

Here are the steps.

  • RECOGNIZE (God’s presence) I want to look at my day with God’s eyes, not just my own.
  • REJOICE – The day I have lived is a gift from God. Thank Him.
  • REVIEW – Carefully review the day, guided by the Holy Spirit, looking for times when I sensed the joy of the Lord, or the absence of the life He desires for me.
  • REPENT – Face the places I ignored, or turned away from God and ask forgiveness
  • RECALIBRATE – I ask God to help me cooperate with His work in and through me in the coming day.

So here’s briefly what the Examen looked like in my life the other day.

I praised God for the amazing birdsongs I heard, for bright pink flowers and sunset, and all of His creation…Text exchanges from our daughters that brought joy and life, an encouraging verse from His Word…

I recognized God’s pleasure and presence as I wrote a note of encouragement, when I served my husband by taking out the trash, when a friend and I walked together, sharing our hearts…

I was convicted that I talked way too much with a friend, was self-centered in a relationship, and was impatient with John. I was intolerant of old, slow people who bear the image of Jesus. I asked forgiveness.

I asked God to help me be more aware of the Imago Dei in everyone I encounter. I asked Him to help me think of my own desires less, and serve others.

What do you think? Maybe try it when you get into bed tonight?

3 Crucial Commitments for a Strong Marriage, Part 1

April 22, 2018 /

Hey Friends, I originally wrote this as one post, but it got so long I decided to split it into three parts, that I’ll publish throughout this week. I’ve cut back so I usually only post once a week, so if you don’t like getting extra mail, just wait a week 🙂 My prayer is that if you’re married or thinking about getting married, you’ll spend some time reflecting on each commitment and add your own thoughts in the comments.

It was about 35 years ago when husband John and I got the news about a nationally known mentor of ours who had had an affair and was being removed from ministry. We felt like we had been in an earthquake and every picture that had been hung straight was now crooked. We were stunned. Heart-broken.

At the time, we were serving at a church in the suburbs of Chicago and spending that evening with close friends who had started an inner-city ministry. Together we wept and John said “If this can happen to ____________, it can happen to anyone.”

In a rare moment of clarity I yelled, “THIS DIDN’T JUST HAPPEN TO THEM!!! They made a series of choices!”

And choices have consequences, AMIRIGHT?

Continue reading

What’s Next Papa? part 1

December 28, 2015 /

A few weeks ago a reader posted Romans 8:15 in the blog comments:

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I love this Message rendition and it’s been playing on repeat in my brain since I read it.

It’s a good verse to reflect on in this in-between time. The now and not yet. You know what I mean.

  • You’ve now eaten your weight in Christmas cookies, but have not yet started your diet yet.
  • You’ve now stretched your credit cards, but have not yet started your new budget discipline because, HELLO! there are all the great sales going on.
  • You’ve now opened your presents, but the tree is still up and you have not yet cleaned your house.

We’ve celebrated Christmas, but it’s not New Years yet.

It’s a great time to look backward, for God-sightings, and forward with the assurance that He is with us and has good plans for our future.

We pray along with the psalmists:

Ps. 139: 23, 24 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.

Ps. 90: 12 Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

In the week between Christmas and New Years we want to ask, “What’s next, Papa?” But before we ask what’s next, we need to ask where we’ve been and where we are now.  Continue reading

Two Practices to Help you Get off the Moving Walkway

February 23, 2015 /

Returning to Real Life after a vacation (even a short one) in a Warm Place is a little like jumping onto one of those moving walkways at the airport in the “keep walking” lane. You’re concentrating on getting Somewhere and thinking about Things, while juggling luggage and trying not to run over other moving walkers.  It’s easy to be absorbed with lists and tasks rather than present to God and others.

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This was my challenge last week. Real Life kept getting in the way of a Real Relationship with God – you know, where you actually are still, and listen, and talk to Him and say “What do You have to tell me about Yourself and myself, Jesus?”  I’d be humming along, getting things done – even good things like reading the Bible – and all of a sudden realize that being with Jesus was kind of like brushing my teeth – I was going through the motions without thinking about it.

Here’s what happens when being with Jesus is like brushing my teeth – I start feeling fat and ugly and discouraged and cranky, tired, and out of sorts – kind of like a toddler who needs a nap or a time out. Continue reading

One Tool For Growth in 2015

January 2, 2015 /

I know, I know…it’s almost New Year’s Eve so it must be time for another one of my “journaling is so valuable” posts.  Some of you will delete as soon as you see the word “journal”, just like me when I read “gluten-free” or “ab crunches”.  Just not gonna go there.

But wait! Hold on just a minute (or 5 as the case may be).  There’s a new resource I want to tell you about that is NOT these: Continue reading

What to do When You Want to Flip off the Other Guy

September 19, 2014 /

I was stuck in a single lane of traffic, late for a meeting, with a car in front of me from Rhode Island and a driver who couldn’t decide which way she wanted to turn (bless her heart).  AAARRRRGGHHH!  I found myself, once again bemoaning the fact that Christians don’t seem to have acceptable hand gestures for situations like this.

My road rage was just one of the times recently that I’ve noticed an increase in irritability, and impatience.  My “one word” for this year is “choose life”, but recently I started to notice a pattern of “not life” and needed to address it.

Like my friend says, I’m more of a “jet fuel drinker” than a “candle-lighter”.  I realized that in a summer of activity I had abandoned some of the spiritual practices that feed my soul.  I naturally resist the slower more contemplative disciplines of life with Jesus, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Continue reading

How Do You Picture Choosing Life?

April 18, 2014 /

As I’ve been traveling I’ve not been able to post very consistently and I’ve really dropped the ball on our One Word Fridays.  Sorry about that.

Like I wrote the other day, it’s been a week of living back into real life.  And part of that has been letting my heart and mind catch up with the rest of me.  Doing a kind of  Examen.  Celebrating places of Life, and mourning places of Death.

The main thing that drives me to write this blog is the conviction that we don’t just drift into becoming more like Jesus.  We have to pay attention.  When we do, maybe we end up saying with Jacob, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.”

So…today I’m paying attention to the “patches of God-light” or instances from the past two months that shouted, “This is what it looks like to choose LIFE!”.  Here are 6 of them:

1.  Hospitality  We had the delightful privilege of staying at the guest cottage belonging to some friends in Charlotte NC while we met with some mentors.  We had dinner with our friends and some different topics of interest came up in our conversation.  The next morning (one when rain was predicted), here’s what our hostess left outside our door.  The books are about the topics we had discussed the night before.

Choosing life = paying attention to the way I can serve others.

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2. Relationships  A week in one of my favorite cities, reconnecting with friends in ministry at National Community Church and spending time with daughter Katy!

Choosing life = learning from everyone everywhere.

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3. Travel in Israel/Palestine, Telos Conversations and at the International Justice Mission Global Prayer Gathering

Choosing life = partnering with God in His work of bringing justice around the world.

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photo-100

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4. Creation Life emerging from death, even in Minnesota!

Choosing life = noticing the smallest gifts.

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 5. Words

Choosing life = choosing to share life-giving words that build up rather than tear down.

Bob Goff (@bobgoff)
God doesn’t look for typos in our lives; He’s a creator, not an editor. We’re all rough drafts of who we’re becoming.

6. Random Acts of Kindness Twice in the past two months – once here and once in Florida, people have surprised us, paying for our dinner!

Choosing Life = looking for opportunities to delight others.

photo-102What are some places you’ve experienced Life over the past two months?

 

Two Responses to What Lies Beneath

February 5, 2014 /

On my list of gifts, one that recurs often is “fresh snow” (Lou Malnati’s pizza is also a top runner).  Snow is as magical as fairy dust to me.  It’s a good thing I love it, because I live where there’s a lot of it.

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As I write this, here in Minnesota it’s snowing.  Again.  Like it does just about every three days for the six months we call winter.

It’s hard to believe, but a day is coming when it will start to melt.  And when it does we move from “Winter”, not to “Spring” as they do in North Carolina, for example, but to “Butt Ugly”.

While the cherry blossoms are exploding around the tidal basin in Washington D.C. and the Bluebonnets are dancing across the hills of Texas, the gorgeous white crystals that have been blanketing everything in Minnesota start to mushify (yes, that’s a thing), exposing trash from last fall, like gum wrappers and a single tennis shoe, and the mitten someone lost. I’m still hoping my keys that disappeared on a walk around Lake Harriet five years ago will turn up.

origin_3142410504photo credit: chicagopublicmedia via photopincc

I love snow when it’s new and fresh.  It’s always been a visual reminder to me of God’s grace, and grits in Louisiana.  It just comes.  Snow, like grace, is not something we work for or make happen.

But the “Butt Ugly” season is a visual reminder too. It’s a reminder that while I can receive the gift of forgiveness and mercy for the ugliness of sin in my life, I need to be careful that I don’t just bury it without dealing with it. Kind of like that email that’s going to be hard to respond to so you put it in a file to answer to later.

What do I do with the trash that lies beneath? Continue reading

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