Tag: encouragement (Page 4 of 5)

Cheering it Forward

I’ve been really surprised at how nice people are to me when I run.  Maybe it’s just because I have such a tragic, painful, “I-want-to-die” expression on my face that they can’t help but feel sorry and offer encouragement.

Often it’s as I slog to the top of a hill that a stranger on bike will yell “Way to go!”, or someone walking a dog will clap or give a thumbs up.  It always takes me off-guard.  It honestly gives me a tiny kick of extra energy.  Like “Oh!  Maybe I really can keep going.”

But this morning was different.  As I ran past a woman who looked a little familiar, she clearly recognized me and knew my story.  She knew my half-marathon goal that’s way too big for me.  She gave me a huge smile and a big thumbs up and yelled “You can do it, Laura!”

I was grateful and encouraged, but I was also moved to tears.

Because it hit me like Roadrunner

images-1

(not the fast part, the stopping part).

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Who’s Dancing With You?

Our daughter got married 10 days ago.  And leading up to the wedding just about everything went wrong.  They had trouble getting a license.  The seamstress made her dress too short.  We printed the wrong dates on a welcome for out-of-towners.  The guy who was going to do her hair backed out at the last minute.

Just about everything went wrong, but the wedding was perfect.  

Because of the people gathered around us.  Amazing, loving friends and family.  It made me think of this post from last year… 

really admire my husband.

He’s brilliant and wise and athletic and better than me at everything.

Except maybe one thing.

When we were dating, we never danced.                                                                                 And when we got married we didn’t have dancing at our reception.                                    And when we went to our first wedding reception as a married couple he didn’t ask me to dance and I cried and was sure he didn’t really love me.

I wrote recently that some friends and I have wrangled our husbands into taking dance lessons, and I’ve finally discovered why this has not been part of our life together up til now.  I’m not gonna sugar coat it.  I’m no Ginger Rogers, but John is truly bad.   I don’t understand it.  How can someone who’s so coordinated in so many other areas be so…not…in this area?  Sometimes we just have to stop trying because we’re laughing so hard.

It’s one thing to have a humility thrust upon you.  You make a mistake and have to apologize.  Like BP.  Or the captain of the cruise ship in Italy.  Or Lindsay Lohan.  You’re given a job to do and things don’t go well.  You’re humbled.

But to choose to step into a situation where you know you’re weak, vulnerable, open to ridicule?  That takes love.

Doing this together with some of our closest friends has led me to another conclusion.

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Three Things to Listen For

John and I “mentor” several young men and women, but I’m not crazy about that word.  Basically we’re all just travelers on a road trip trying to help each other find the exits, and the Culvers, scrape up enough money for tolls, and not crash.

All of us stumble and run and trudge along with each other.  Parent and child, friends of different generations, boss and staff, coaches, teachers, trainers…

Healthy or wounded or recovering, energized at times and weary at others, seeking sometimes, finding at others.  Discouraged or joy-filled we need each other.  

In all relationships I want to be present to God and to the other at the same time.  Kind of like when I’m in the Great Room at church after worship, talking to someone I can always discern John’s voice if he’s also in the room.  It’s distinctive and I know it.  How I long for that same ear attuned God’s voice while I’m in conversation with others!

Awhile ago I heard someone suggest that as we are present to God with others, there is often one of three things He may want us to listen for that may be needed.

1 Thessalonians 2:11,12 says “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.”

Whether it’s a child or friend or co-worker, does this person need encouragement and affirmation?  A picture of what’s possible?  Celebration of what you’ve seen in them?  Naming their gifts?

Or do they need an empathic listening ear?  Someone to sit by their side and remind them they’re not alone?

Lastly, might they need a kick in the butt?  Maybe that takes the form of correction or facing hard truth, or setting the bar higher?

This being present to God and others doesn’t come naturally for me.  It takes practice and  paying attention.  And sometimes I just ask the person, “What do need most today?”

As I reflect over my conversations from yesterday, I was responsive to God’s nudging with friends who needed comfort and encouragement, but with the boy I tutor, I think urging – more challenge – was called for, and I missed it in the moment.

What about you?

You’ve? Got This!

We’re on vacation this week.  Hope this re-post from October of ’11 is encouraging to you!  

I’m a terrible tennis player.  Seriously terrible.

This past summer I started playing tennis.  I’ve kind of dabbled before, but back issues put any play on hold til I had surgery and now I’m good to go.  Ok, “good to go” is totally relative.  I play on a tennis team, but it’s like the “Bad News Bears” of tennis teams.  We’re the worst of the worst.

In spite of being seriously bad, I have fun and as I play matches now, I’m reminded of all the hours I spent cheering for our daughters Katy, and Maggie as they played.  One of the common refrains from spectators and fellow teammates was “You’ve got this!  You’ve got this Katy!  You’ve got this Maggie!”

The implication was “You’ve got all the skill and ability necessary to win this match.  You have it in you.”

It struck me the other day that this is what God would like to remind me of each morning…not that I’ve got this, but that HE has it.  He’s got this momentthis daythis seasonmy life in His hands.

He has all the power, and understanding and patience and resources for anything we face today.  He is sufficient.

And BECAUSE He’s got this, you’ve got this!

In what area of your life do you need to hear God whisper, “I’ve got this” today? Maybe it’s something specific to today, or general for this season of life.

If you want, you can post just one word or a short phrase (or a paragraph if you want!) in the comments. Work?  Relationships?  Parenting?  Health?

Here’s mine: Laura – A couple of hard conversations I anticipate today.

We can list anything and hear God say, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor. 12:9                                                                                             He’s got this.

Happy Birthday Magpie

Today is daughter Maggie’s 25th birthday.

She is an amazing young woman – shiny and fun and creative as a toddler’s birthday party.  But also sincere and committed and serious about the sobering things of life like injustice and world poverty.

On this, as on all birthdays, I look back and remember the day she was born, stubborn from the start, refusing to come out without intense prompting even though my body had been saying it was time for over a month.

I also look back to my own 25 year old self and have been reflecting on what I would say to her and to Maggie.

I think I would say…

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Finding Community in a Dressing Room

I’ve decided that one of the strongest pieces of evidence supporting the idea that God made us for community is that I seem incapable of shopping for clothes on my own.

It takes a team of expert consultants (mostly my daughters and/or my mom who is 78, but has been known to swap clothes with the 24-year-old so she’s very cool dontchaknow).

We’re spread out, but devoted to each other and committed avoiding having a candid photo of us show up in Glamour magazine with the headline Fashion Don’ts”.

So we take pictures of ourselves in dressing rooms wherever we are shopping and text them to each other asking the others to weigh in and give advice.

I’m not kidding.

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The Other “F Words”, part 3

I once put 2 CUPS of salt into a recipe of lasagna instead of 2 teaspoons.

Ok, actually I ran out of salt after a cup and a half, but still…  Inconceivable that anyone could be such an idiot?  A failure?  I know, I know it’s hard even for me to believe.  I can only chalk it up to the fact that I was multi-tasking and my mind was elsewhere.

You’ve never made a stupid mistake?  Or failed at something serious you worked hard for?

Did you fail your driver’s test the first time?

Fail to make the varsity tennis, football, or swim team?

Been fired?

Have a failed marriage?

Failed to get a promotion you applied for?

Failure.  Another uncomfortable “F word”.

Even writing the word brings feelings of humiliation and embarrassment.  A sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Experiences, choices, words, I’d really like to forget                    (another f word) :).

I have plenty of failures to reflect on.  I’m a passionate, aim-fire-ready kind of gal.  Leap before you look.  It’s all good.  Enthusiasm wins the day.

As a result I’ve inadvertently stepped on toes, lost money, received rejections for less-than-best work submitted too quickly.

Maybe your pattern is different, but you can still think of failures that make you cringe.

As I’ve been reflecting on failure I’ve read some inspiring stuff.

“Grace means our failures don’t define who we are anymore; they just shape who we’re becoming.”Bob Goff

“If you know you are the Beloved, you can live with an enormous amount of success
and an enormous amount of failure without losing your identity.
Because your identity is that you are the Beloved…” Henri Nouwen

Somebody asked Winston Churchill one time, “What most prepared you to lead Great Britain through World War 2?

This was Churchill’s response: “It was the time I repeated a class in grade school.”

The questioner said, “You mean you flunked a grade?”

Churchill said, “I never flunked in my life.  I was given a second opportunity to get it right.”

What we would like to delete, God wants to complete (I’m sure I heard that pithy little saying somewhere, but I can’t remember where)

But how do we translate all this peppy talk into anything more?  We all are going to fail, but what’s next?  How do we “fail forward” as I think John Maxwell said?

Stop trying (or crying) for a minute and hold your “failure” (whatever it is) before God and say,

Here it is Lord.

Use it.  Redeem it.  Teach me from it.  Show me my next step.  But don’t let it define me, paralyze me, or tempt me to turn from You.  Thank you that I am Your beloved child.  No matter what.”

What have you failed at that God has redeemed?

Never. Under. Estimate my Jesus.

I’m taking a little August Sabbatical, so I thought I’d repost one of my favorites from last year.  Eric is continuing to grow and went to his first baseball game this summer.  I tell him every time I see him that he is an amazing young man.  I think he may be starting to believe it…

Every Monday evening from 5:00-6:00 I have what is both the most discouraging and most powerful hour of my week.

Three years ago I started tutoring a 9 year old girl named Erica who moved here from Togo, west Africa with her twin brother Eric, and her older brother Sylvanus.  Erica and Sylvanus have made the transition to a new city, a new culture, a 5th (yes, 5th!) language, and are catching up academically in a new school.  Amazing.  Courageous.  Inspiring.

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Three Things we Left Out

Last weekend John and I preached together on the topic of Encouragement from the book of Acts.

AARRGGHH!  When we do this he is exceedingly kind and because I’m a planner and he’s a “fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants” guy which freaks me out, he lets me study and write the sermon and then he just naturally does his thing, which is always authentic and conversational and makes everything better.

Anyway, I’ve always thought about encouragement as a good thing, a nice thing…

But as I studied it in the book of Acts I began to see it as a crucial tool that God uses to combat Satan in a spiritual battle that is continually raging.  I fear that sounds all hokey/pokey intense and mystical, but think about it…

Satan’s goal is to get us to believe the lies that

we don’t matter,

that God is powerless,

and that we’re all alone.

When we encourage, we remind others of God’s truth – that they do matter, it’s gonna be ok, and they’re not alone.

You can listen, or get more resources here, but what I’ve been thinking about is three things we didn’t say.

1.  Discouragement is personal. Not only does Satan lie to discourage, but he is also crafty liar.  He tailors his whispers to each of us uniquely.  His attacks usually center around our identity.  So if we’re tempted to find our worth in being married, he’ll whisper “You’re not lovable.  You’re not attractive to anyone.”  If we’re tempted to find our worth in accomplishment he may whisper “You’re only a mom, or a secretary, or a barista, or a whatever…  You’re not making a difference.  You’re not good enough.”

Be aware.

2.  Encouragement is personal. The most powerful encouragement is very specific.  When someone says, “Nice sermon.” I tend to discount it as just polite small talk.  It’s like the difference between “You’re terrific!” and “You have a gift of hospitality that helps people experience the welcoming heart of God.  Thank you.”

Be specific.

3.  Timing is personal.  Never underestimate the power of encouragement used in a timely way by God.  Years ago I “randomly” felt prompted to write a guy in another part of the country who had been a mentor in leadership training for me in college.  I hadn’t had contact with him in 20 years.  I wrote of the impact his modeling had made in my life, specifically how his investment had made a kingdom difference.  Little did I know that this was a divinely timed prompting from the Holy Spirit.

I received a response from him saying “Your note came at the absolute lowest point in my life.  I had lost perspective.  I was in despair, convinced that my ministry hadn’t made any difference, that I had sacrificed for years with no fruit.  Your note was the reminder from God that I needed.”  Wow.  Blew me away!

Be responsive to promptings.

In what situations are you likely to be discouraged?  What has been most encouraging to you?

Top Reason for Changing the Brag Book Rule

There are certain unspoken rules in life.

You know, like you wash your hands and brush your teeth and if you’re a good person you recycle and you show up for work on time.

And then there’s the rule that parents with babies or toddlers can tweet, post, text, blog, or whip out their iphone to show photos of their little baby noses, and little baby toes at any moment.  And it’s a BIG DEAL.

Plump drooly smiles, toothless yawns…The wonder of their new words and cute curiosity of their questions.  Every. Single. Move. An opportunity to brag, to celebrate, to marvel.  But only til they hit, say, the age of braces.  Then, all bets are off.  It’s illegal to brag publicly.

Oh, don’t get me wrong!  I think all of the baby bragging is great.  I want to be in the “ooh” and “aahhh” club, doing the veritable “wave” for babies like in the stands at a football game.

I just want to change the rule a bit.  Tweak it, if you will.

I think we should be tweeting about more wonder than just babies.

More world-wide “wow’s!”  More everyday victory dances.  Kudos and “atta girl’s!” and “you’re the best!”

For Austin coaching teens and teaching one of his inner-city football players to tie his tie for prom.

For Sarah and Erin, young women with servant hearts who work so hard behind the scenes at our church and make others look good.

For Eric, a twelve-year old amazing young man from Togo, who perseveres as he works to learn both multiplication and American baseball.

For a woman doing her fifth step in recovery…a young single saying yes to purity…a husband serving his wife by getting up in the night with a crying baby…a friend forgiving a wrong…

For all these and so many more, “Way to go!”

Here’s the reason I think we should tweak the rule about baby bragging.

I think God is a bursting with pride Papa who would whip out photos from his wallet or iphone in a nano-second wanting to crow about His children no matter where, or when, or how old.

Look!  That’s my daughter!  This is my son!  Aren’t they great??!” No matter how large or small the victory, He delights in us and I think He delights in being a braggy dad.

So today, as Anthony De Mello writes, “Behold the One beholding you and smiling.”

Who do you want to give a shout out to today?  Consider posting a line in the comment section!

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