Tag: differences

Two Important Questions to Ask of People Different From Us

Some things are just tough.

Like figuring out why people are fascinated with the Kardashians, or how to fold fitted sheets, or what makes some people able to eat a kabillion Trader Joe’s dark chocolate covered almonds with sea salt and not gain a pound.

Or, you know…how to achieve peace between all the people in all the places.

When it comes to the Middle East I keep wanting to say, “Lord I’m a bear of Very Little Brain” like Winnie the Pooh.

I have a long way to go, but God is patient and often a theme gradually emerges.

The truest thing I’m learning about peace is that keeping people at a distance makes it easy to demonize them.

But coming close topples the walls of misunderstanding.

This morning God reinforced this as I re-read the story of when God comes close to Hagar.

Sarah, wife of Abraham, mistreated Hagar, the surrogate “wife” who runs away into the desert, (Sounds like “Real Wives of the Middle East”, right?)

Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar each have a story.  Each are seen and loved by God. But they have trouble seeing and loving each other.

In the desert and in her pain, God meets Hagar and models something I’m thinking I can learn from (even with my little bear brain).

Even though Abraham and Sarah only call Hagar “servant”, God calls her by name.

He sees her!  (16:13)

And He asks her two questions:

Where have you come from?

and

Where are you going?

Traveling in the Middle East I’ve learned that everyone has a story of injustices that have happened in the past, and everyone is trying to hold on to their hopes for a future.

As we try to draw close and understand those who are different from us, whether it’s Israeli’s and Palestinians or Republicans and Democrats, gay and straight, I wonder if learning someone’s name, looking them in the eye and asking them questions like these is a place to start…

Who might you ask today:  Where have you come from?  Where do you want to go?

 

“No People”

Today I had lunch with a dear friend. We sat at a table outside on an upper terrace, eating in the toasty sun. Yes, you read that right. Outside. In MN. In March. Clearly evidence of a benevolent God.

One of the reasons I like my friend is we agree on pretty much everything. Religion, politics, Kim Kardashian… Who doesn’t like spending time with “yes people” who support all your opinions?

But as I was driving home, I thought… one of the many things I admire about my husband is that he actively seeks out “no people”.  He engages and asks questions of people he knows have different opinions or perspectives than he does.  You know…people who see a blue dress when you know it’s white.

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Now, don’t get me wrong; John’s no push-over.  He’s grounded in an informed worldview, but he’s also humble enough to know he may have missed considering some things. He knows there is wisdom to be gained in listening to those who disagree with him. I am in awe of how secure he is in Christ in a way that makes him not defensive.

It is hard, but I’m trying to be more open to entering into conversations with folks who differ from me without getting anxious, fearful, or defensive. I try to listen well. And I try to remember to breathe and say to myself “You have nothing to prove and nothing to lose.” 

Maybe think of someone who sees a different color dress and ask them more about what they think today.

And if you haven’t taken the 2015 Survey, I’d love to hear from you – click on this link.

5 Questions About…Marriage

This summer we did a little “5 Questions about…” series.  Fortunately for me I have so many awesome friends with wisdom to share that it’s gonna spill over a little into the fall!  Today my friend Cara Tregembo, one of the fun “7 girls” is sharing on marriage.  I asked her for a picture to post and this is what she sent:

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However, here’s the real Cara (in front)!

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That’s our Cara – fun-loving, creative, and (in real life) completely authentic! Continue reading

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

First of all, a huge “Thank you!” to all of you who took the time to fill out the survey this week!  I really appreciate it and look forward to learning more about you and how I can improve.  Today’s title implies that the post is just about marriage, but I think every living being deals with this issue…

On July 30th, husband John and I will be celebrating our 31st anniversary.  That’s a long time.  Longer than the Internet or Chicken McNuggets have been around.  A lot longer than Kim Kardashian’s three marriages put together.  A. Long. Time.photo-127

He puts up with me waking him in the middle of the night to talk about “things”, and I try to take his unusual compliments in the spirit they are given. Like when he says I look autumnal, or compares me to yogurt, or says being with me is as good as being alone.  What can I say?  Our marriage works.

However, like in any healthy relationship between two beloved riff-raffs, we still have issues.  Well, one issue.  One very specific issue. Continue reading

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