Tag: connecting

6 Vital Practices to Fill You Up During a Draining Season

September 28, 2020 /

There’s a reason I haven’t been posting lately. It’s because I feel like there are just too many words coming at us. Too much news, too many emails, too much technology. We are feeling dehumanized and desperately long for the things that remind us we are made in God’s image.

We miss hugs, talking in person, laughing around a table…And if you’re like me, almost anything on a screen makes you feel weary.

I’m popping on today to suggest some practices that might help. But before we look at things to fill us up, what about putting boundaries on the things that drain us and make us feel dehumanized?

A few boundaries I’ve found helpful:

  • Turn off ringer and leave phone in one place in the house when you are home so it’s not nearby.
  • Tape one reliable news show instead of having news on in the background or turning it on indiscriminately.
  • Set your phone for boundaries. Go to Settings, then “Screen time” and set “Down time” (times when your apps won’t be available to you) and “App limits” (you can choose to set a time limit on certain apps you may be tempted to use too much and your phone will notify when you’re at your limit)

After limiting what drains you, commit to some practices that fill you. Here are some of my suggestions. Maybe just pick one to focus on today, or add yours in the comments!

1.Breathe

I used to think it was dumb when leaders had us pause to pay attention to our breath as a pre-cursor for prayer. I was wrong. Maybe it is the prevalence of technology and a 24/7 news cycle that has brought home the value of this practice that truly helps me be more present to God.

“God is the oxygen of your soul. Connecting body breath to God is a spiritual practice.”

Adele Calhoun

Go outside and sit on your front step (or on a park bench) and breathe in deeply. Think of the breath of God (the Holy Spirit – Ruach ) filling every inch of your body. Breathe out the care and anxiety you’re carrying.

Then use your senses. What are 5 things you see? What are 5 things you feel? Hear? Smell? Just sit, and breathe. What’s the invitation of God in this moment? Be present and human.

2.Create

Make something with your hands. Anything. Especially if your day is spent mostly using your mind. For me that looks like sewing masks, or baking, or creating environments for gathering people. Maybe for you it might be creative lettering, or photography or making a care package for someone.

3.Read

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

When we read Scripture, it reminds us that we are not alone. We are not the first to experience this mess. God is not surprised or overwhelmed, or insufficient for what we are facing. There are wonderful parallels to this season in Exodus chapters 12-18 if you want a place to start.

When we read books about people and places different from us, it helps us look beyond ourselves and our own circumstances. It’s not escapist entertainment, but I think the book, American Dirt, is one of the best books I read this summer. It took me into the world of the immigrant experience as a mother and son flee Mexico for the U.S.

What good books are you reading?

4.Smile

During this incredibly stressful season, we need to laugh. We need beautiful pictures and stories that lift our spirits, inspire us, or make us smile. Most of you know I deleted Twitter and am rarely on FB, but I love Instagram because it brings joy. I follow tons of dog and travel feeds. I’ll spare you those, but here are a just a few of my favorite feeds.

If you want adventure, follow @jimmychin .
If you want to experience life on a delightful sheep farm, follow @sweckerfarm (especially her daily stories!)
For encouragement (even if you have his book) follow @charliemackesie !
If you wish you lived in the British countryside, follow @suddenjourneys (Especially her daily stories!!).
If you’d like to live in Paris, follow @alexandrine_ar !
For awe and wonder at God’s creation, follow @usinterior !

5. Thank

Study after study has shown that the practice of gratitude has benefits both physically and emotionally. You may want to keep a gratitude journal, or practice sharing 3 things you’re thankful for at dinner each night.

What are you thankful for right now?

6. Get Out (while wearing a mask at a social distance).

I want to be careful and wise with this one because we all have unique circumstances, and some will be limited more than others. But, within reason, how can you stay connected in person with others?

When the pandemic started, we decided to invest in making our outdoor space more welcoming and conducive to gathering people with distance. We bought a few more chairs and years ago we got a white tent at Costco (which is actually advertised as a carport).

Our daughter, Katy says she’s discovered paddle-boarding to be an ideal socially distanced activity to do with friends. For me, tennis is my go-to.

Maybe “getting out” is inviting friends to outdoor spaces with you, but I also read a great article recently on the importance of “casual connections” – how they provide needed emotional support and contribute to our sense of well-being. God did not create us for isolation, right?

The article talks about “consequential strangers” (like baristas, beauticians, checkout people at the grocery store) who give us the feeling that we belong to a community – a basic human need. 

Consequential strangers “are as vital to our well-being, growth, and day-to-day existence as family and close friends. Consequential strangers anchor us in the world and give us a sense of being plugged in to something larger…They are vital social connections – people who help you get through the day and make life more interesting.” *

What is one of these practices you might try today? What would you add?

*Melinda Blau and Karen L. Fingerman “The Power of People Who Don’t Seem to Matter…But Really Do.”

Soul Food – 5 Creative Ideas for Celebrations With Covid Restrictions

August 17, 2020 /

Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!

Philippians 4:4-5

In this season of pandemic, and racial tension and what I heard someone refer to the other day as “the Great Pause”, there have appropriately been calls for reflection and repentance. It is so important that we not just get through this time, but be transformed by it.

However, there is also a place for celebration in this season. As we begin to meet outside at a distance, we are excited to experience the human connection we were created for.

Here are five ideas that I, or friends of mine have tried:

  1. Virtual Travel Potluck Dinner.

Maybe the thing I miss most about the restrictions of this season is the inability to travel internationally. I invited some couples to think about where they’d like to travel when it’s allowed and to bring a dish representative of that place. If it’s a place they’ve already been, I asked them to come also with a memory to share. If it’s someplace new to them, I asked them to share what they’re looking forward to seeing.

One couple brought ceviche in individual mason jars (Covid considerate!) because they want to go to El Salvador.

I also made the desserts in individual mason jars.

I found all different sizes and types of mason jar at Target.

2. S’moregasbord gathering around the fire pit.

@katiejacobsnashville

I LOVE the idea of all kinds of creative adaptations of s’mores! This picture from Country Living is amazing, but not very socially distance friendly, so my idea is to tie up a variety of ingredients in individual bandanas that folks can use as napkins, and tie them around their marshmallow fork. I can’t wait to do this one in September as the weather gets cooler!

3. Onesie Scavenger Shower. Our daughter, Maggie, was set to host a couples baby shower, but they couldn’t gather in person due to Covid restrictions. Instead of cancelling the whole thing, she wanted the expectant couple to have a special experience.

She asked each couple who had been invited to the shower to decorate onesies and take a picture of themselves. Then she created a Onesie Scavenger Hunt for the expectant couple, with clues sending them to different spots that were meaningful to them. At each spot they found two onesies and a picture of the the couple who created them.

4. Photo Scavenger Hunt on Bikes. The husband of a friend wanted to celebrate her well on her birthday so he invited 15 of her friends to surprise her, showing up at their house on bikes. He used the app Goose Chase to create a Photo Scavenger Hunt that sent three teams of five around our town to get pictures at different sites and text them back to my friend’s husband and kids at “command central” to get points.

5. Pizza and Podcast. This idea that I’ve posted about on Instagram, works well virtually or in person. Just send out a podcast suggestion and host a discussion (outside with distancing or on zoom) around pizza. Easy Peasy! I heard about this idea from Bailey T. Hurley and you can see more of her ideas here.

**One bonus idea that’s not a gathering: Weekly Themed Group Playlists to keep you going through Covid.

Daughter Katy has a group of friends who name a playlist master and a theme every week. Each person in the group contributes a song to go with the theme and sometimes they try to guess who’s contributed which song.

The playlist master sends out the curated list at the end of the week. Sometimes the themes are timely, like Social Distancing (Ex. “Stop, in the Name of Love!”), or Social Justice (Ex. “Blowin in the Wind” by Bob Dylan). Others are just great escapes, like Pop Divas (ALL the Lady Gaga and Adele) or Best Covers (“I Will Always Love You”)

What creative ways have you found to celebrate this season?

Why This Planner Loves Spur of the Moment Gatherings

July 6, 2020 /

Pouring over cookbooks makes my little hostess heart sing. I love making to-do lists a month in advance of a dinner party, and brainstorming creative touches around a theme that may make my guests feel special.

But I’ve discovered that last minute “come-on-over’s” can be as good or better than our thoughtfully planned out “events”. I use that word on purpose because well-intentioned plans can tempt us to create events rather than times of welcome, care and connection.

Here are some of the benefits of spontaneous “come-on-over’s“:

  1. No pressure on you, no high expectations. People know you’re flying by the seat of your pants. Present over perfect is the mantra of the day. This is a great time to use all your leftover holiday paper plates and napkins!

2. Everyone pitches in. I’m including a go-to recipe that uses ingredients you’re likely to have on hand (another plus during Covid), but last-minute gatherings are potlucks of necessity. No one is going to care if the meal is a mix of Mexican tacos, middle eastern hummus and Chinese chicken salad. Think “Stone Soup” – just bring what you have to add to the mix. Also, it doesn’t have to be a meal – drinks and chips are great!

3. You can count on the weather. We do most of our entertaining outside in the summer anyway, but this is especially key during this time of Covid. Last minute invites mean you basically know the forecast and know you’ll be able to be outside. When we have planned something outdoors far in advance, we have to be ready with Plan A (outside) and a Plan B (outside under tent), or Plan C (move inside – not really an option in our small house during Covid).

So, text a couple friends and scour your pantry. If you want some freezer meals to keep on hand, check out Thriving Home Blog. I served some of their Ham and Cheese sliders the other night. And here’s another recipe you might have ingredients for.

BLT – L Dip

  • 1 cup mayonnaise (Hellmann’s regular or light)
  • 1 cup sour cream (regular or light)
  • 3 oz bag of real bacon bits (or make your own)
  • 3-4 plum tomatoes, seeded and diced
  • Finely shredded cheddar cheese or diced red onion if you want!

Mix everything together and chill for an hour. If you want to be extra Covid conscious, you could spoon dip into individual shooter glasses and add a couple carrot and celery sticks for each person.

Here’s to sanctified spontaneity, when we seize the moment and marvel at God’s provision!

7 Ways to Thrive (or at least survive) at a Holiday Party

December 16, 2013 /

The other day I wrote about the people we’ve gathered around our table over the years.  I wrote about how we all have fascinating stories that are part of God’s larger story and part of life is getting to know each other’s stories.

“Well,” you might have said to yourself, “Stories shmories.  All fine and dandy for you, but holiday parties are about as fun to me as being chosen as a tribute in the Hunger Games.”

Unknown Ok, this post is going to change all that.  It will be a Christmas miracle and you’ll want to send me all your Christmas cookies as a thank you.

This morning there was a guy and a girl, maybe in their late 20’s sitting near me at Starbucks.  I’m thinking morning coffee date.  Match.com.

I really wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but it’s possible my natural spy skills automatically kicked in when I heard certain words like “single” and “Christian” crop up.

Here’s the thing. The girl talked about herself nonstop!  I kept wanting to stuff a Cranberry Bliss bar in her mouth and say “STOOOOOOP TALKKKKKING!  Give the poor guy a chance!”

Yep, most people love to talk about themselves.  Who could possibly be more interesting than…you?

But also in the same coffee shop is Tom, who comes in every morning and no matter how friendly I am he seems to have a hard time conversing with me.  He just always seems uncomfortable and lonely and I want to give him a big hug and say “It’s gonna be ok.”

All of this has gotten me to thinking about the ways that we connect, especially at holiday parties.  Here are a few ideas: Continue reading

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