Tag: choices (Page 2 of 3)

What to Do on Your Thursday & Friday When You Can’t See Sunday

April 3, 2015 / Laura Crosby

It’s Thursday morning as I write this. I’m sitting at “my” table at Starbucks, greeting regulars in this coffee community between reading the account of Jesus’ last Thursday before the cross.

As I am sitting here, a friend stops by my table. A friend going through a dark, dark, time.

Her own cross. Her own death, waiting for resurrection.

She made a brave choice, but the pain on this side seems worse than ever. Betrayal from people near her, loss of community, questions of God. It’s her “good” Friday and she can’t see to Easter Sunday yet.

I think of her as I learn from Jesus walking through His Thursday and Friday before Sunday. We focus so often on how Jesus is God and perfect, and we aspire to be transformed into people who look more like Him, that we sometimes miss the ways He looked like us. He had friends who let Him down, and desires for an easier way, but in His most Thursday and Friday moments maybe we can learn from Him.

On Jesus’ darkest days He gathers with His people. He leans into community. He speaks truth and He asks for help. (Mt. 26:17-46).
He gives thanks.(Mt. 26:27, 30) Not a fakey “Praise the Lord I’m dying here!”, but a genuine gratitude for patches of God-light in the midst of darkness. A sunrise, a loaf of bread, a hug, fresh spring breeze. There is power in thanksgiving in the midst of hard circumstances.
But Jesus leans into His Father more than His community. He prays, because He knows as important as the company of friends is, the company of God is the only sure thing. (Mt.26:39)
There is a rhythm of engaging and withdrawing. Going into Jerusalem and going out to Bethany to stay with friends. Sitting with his home team around a meal, and sitting alone in the Garden of Gethsemane, a short distance away. (21:1, 10, 17, 18; 26:6, 30, 36) Time for processing, and preparation, silence and solitude.
He’s doesn’t hold back. He pours out His heart. (Mt. 26:39)

“My Father, if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?”

He submits to His Father’s will because He trusts His good plans. He trusts His Father’s ability to bring redemption and resurrection. New life out of painful death. (Mt. 26:39)

As I think of my friend right here at Starbucks, I also think of many of you who are reading this in offices and homes and dorm rooms around the world. Is it Thursday or Friday for you today? As you look at this hard time are there choices Jesus made that might be helpful to you?

We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help. Hebrews 14:15-16 MSG

**Just a quick note…I’ve changed the commenting system. The good news is it is easier to comment. The bad news is that the first couple of times you comment the system requires me to “release” or “approve” your remarks before they show up. I try to stay on top of it, but don’t worry if your comment doesn’t show up immediately! 🙂

The Prayer I Resist Praying

October 20, 2014 / lauracrosby

I was g-chatting with daughter Katy yesterday morning. This is how it went…

Katy: Thanks for sending your Zambia itinerary! Turns out I may be traveling at the same time for work.

Me: Oh! Fun! Where?

Katy: Kabul.

Me: WHATTTT????!!! As in Kabul Afghanistan?

Katy: And this is why I told you over g-chat…to preserve my ear-drums.

We’ve made a boat-load of mistakes as parents. Big ones, little ones, and ones we laugh at in retrospect, like the time John accidentally gave Maggie Ipecac instead of cough medicine in the middle of the night and wondered why she kept throwing up.

But one that looms large in my mind was when we let our then eighteen year old daughter, Maggie, graduate early from high school and go to live with a mission organization in Kibera – a terrible slum in Nairobi.

We went to visit her in the rainy season of mud which just added to the despair.

There was someone stoned outside where she was living.

She told us of coming upon a toddler sitting alone in the dirt, chewing on a used condom.

What kind of terrible parent lets their child go live in such a place???

Well, apparently this one.

It’s a parenting choice that I’ve been tempted to regret, but one that God has used.

Today I was reading Acts 4:23-31. Peter and John have just been released from the religious officials who were totally ticked off because they had healed a lame beggar and preached some crazy stuff about the power of Jesus and Him being the only way. They come back to their friends and tell them everything that has happened.

And then they pray for a hedge of protection.

NOT.

They thank God and pray for BOLDNESS! Not the go-plan I naturally gravitate towards for our family!

Note to self: This does not say they prayed to have an EQ lobotomy or to be offensive for Jesus, but Peter and John have me thinking…

Does the kingdom advance without boldness? Without taking the love of Jesus into dark places, trusting that He will be our light and our shield?

Holy buckets! What does this mean for me, for you? Boldness may not mean taking the light of Jesus half-way around the world, but just across town or into relationships that require supernatural love, or perseverance, or hard truth.

It has me praying with open hands, saying,

“We are yours. Help us to be bold and brave and humble in carrying the light of your love into dark places. Do what only You can do in us and through us.”

Is it hard for you, like Peter and John, to pray for boldness for yourself or your children? How might God ask you to take His light into a dark place today?

How to be Truly Brave

October 4, 2014 / Laura Crosby

There are many different ways to be brave, but it’s always a choice.

Yesterday I posted my friend’s thoughts on forgiving hard things and hard people. I marvel as I watch her and others in my life who have endured deep, deep emotional pain, and, with God’s help, have made the choice to be truly brave – to face it and forgive it.

And it has made me think too, of friends who are enduring tremendous physical pain that weakens them to the point where they could question if their life is really a life at all. And in the midst of it – with God’s help – they have persevered. They have been truly brave, choosing to greet each day as a gift.

Still others have chosen hard, sacrificial roads of service to those who feel hopeless or left behind. With God’s help, they’ve been truly brave, choosing to bring justice and mercy to dark places.

All of us have stuff that makes us want to give up, or give in, or yell at the top of our lungs “THIS ISN’T FAIR!!”

But instead, we can choose to be brave. And fight for life, or our marriage, or our kids, or for justice, for redemption…

There are many different ways to be brave, but it’s always a choice.

5 Questions to Ask When You’re “CRAZY Busy”

September 8, 2014 / lauracrosby

“We’ve just been so CRAZY busy!”

I have a friend whose emails contain this phrase along with profuse apologies about her perpetual stress level almost every single time she writes me.

Sometimes I want to shout at the computer “Well STOP DOING so much!”

Brene Brown says exhaustion is the new status symbol. If we don’t feel overwhelmed we must not be doing something important. Are you buying into that?

I want to tell my crazy busy friend about my sister-in-law who realized that they had had so many people visiting their lake cabin over the past few years that none of their family was actually able to enjoy it. They were always hosting someone else, so she called a moratorium for this one summer. A time out. To that I say “Bravo!” It can be done.

But I also realize how hard it must be to think of disappointing friends who don’t have lake homes and who look forward to visiting every year. Boundaries are not without their downside. They take courage and resolve.

As I’ve been thinking about my friend and my sister-in-law, 5 Questions have come to mind that might be helpful to ask ourselves when we’re “CRAZY Busy”:

1. How does this level of busyness affect the state of my soul? Really. Am I at my best at these rpm’s? How much does my busyness feed my false self – the part of me that needs to be validated by my achievements?

2. Is this just a season (temporary), or is it an on-going pattern of over-extending myself?

3. Why have I said “yes” to each of these commitments? Which have I said “yes” to out of fear or a need to prove something? Examine your commitments one by one.

4. Do I have choices where I may have been making excuses? (Ex.: I have to work on the sr. high school party because I did it when our other child was a sr.)

5. Who are the right people to disappoint?

I’d really love to just sit down and have a conversation with you about this over a DQ Blizzard because I’d like to hear your thoughts too.

What do you think? Is there one person you feel like you need to be willing to disappoint in order to have a healthier rhythm of life?

Need a little more encouragement? You are not a victim. You own your choices. Learn from Bob Goff who tries to quit something every Thursday.

Participating in a link up with…

Is God Always the Hard Choice?

June 20, 2014 / lauracrosby

It’s One Word Friday!

Ok, so I’m not sure how I got there, but after becoming a Christian in my teens, I fell into a default mode that always assumed that God’s will must be the hardest, and most painful choice I was faced with.

Broccoli or brownie? Broccoli must be more holy.

Cat or dog? God surely hates cats so He must want to refine my character by inflicting a cat on me (if this is true, I’m not committed enough to be a disciple) Continue reading

What to do When You’re Stuck, part one

May 27, 2014 / lauracrosby

Years ago, when we were newly married and just learning to play golf, my sisters-in-law and I were on a course together while our husbands played ahead of us.

Other than sister-in-law, Rose hitting a tree and having the ball careen back over her head, farther away from the hole than where she started, the day might have been uneventful except that sister-in-law Betsy had the bright idea of driving the golf cart through a sand trap.

Golf carts, in case you were wondering, are not dune buggies. Their wheels spin like the blades of a fan – a lot of movement, but no forward motion.

I’ve been been thinking of that spinning-wheel-spitting-sand-stuckness lately because that’s the way I’ve been feeling.

Stuck is not a feeling unique to me. If you’re not there now, you probably have been.

Maybe you’re stuck in a job you don’t like.
Stuck in a relationship that’s not healthy.
Stuck in a financial hole.
Stuck with a problem that seems unsolvable.
Maybe doors seem to be closing and you can’t find the proverbial open window. They’re all closed too.

In my personal “stuckness” I’ve been re-reading Nehemiah and trying to apply some principles from his life.

Nehemiah is the guy who was wrecked by the report he received in exile that the walls of Jerusalem were in ruins. He is the leader who God uses to oversee the rebuilding of the walls. Look at just a few verses from the book of Nehemiah:

“I prayed before the God of heaven. THEN I said…”

“I prayed to the God of heaven AND I answered the king…”

“We prayed to our God AND posted a guard…”

Here’s the thing that strikes me most deeply:

Nehemiah never acted without praying and never prayed without acting.

For some of us, our tendency is to major on problem-solving. Strive, fix, do, without inquiring or submitting or listening for the counsel of the Know-it-all-Guy we say we want to give control to. So we spin our wheels often digging in deeper in the sand.

For others, the temptation is to do a lot of praying and reflecting and “put it in God’s hands” assuming that means He’ll magically do all the work and we can go sit in the lawn chair with some ice tea, thank you very much. Abandon the golf cart for someone else to deal with, as it were.

I tend to fall into the first camp – fire, ready, aim (to use a different metaphor). So here’s what trying to apply this Nehemiah principle is looking like these days in my life:

I pray early each morning. And by that I mean I rant at God a little bit in my journal, telling Him about all the stuckness in my life, in case He hasn’t been paying attention.

And then I ask Him what He’s going to do about it, and what He wants me to do about it.

And then I try to pay attention to the constructive choices I can make, circling back to God to say “So what do you think about THAT? Whatcha gonna do now? And how close are we to getting out of this sand trap?”

Maybe as you pray, the action God will prompt you to do is to get counseling, or take a Financial Peace class, or apply for a job, or find a mentor.

PRAY, ACT, REPEAT.

If only that was the magic formula.

But wait! There’s more! Next post…

In what ways have you been (or are you) stuck? What helped?

Living Instead of Liking a Better Story

May 7, 2014 / lauracrosby

First, let me say loud and clear: I LOVE the ministry of Jen Hatmaker! I think she is an amazing, funny, inspiring, kingdom-loving mom and leader. If you’ve been following this blog long you’ll remember when we did our own “experimental mutiny against excess” motivated by her book, 7, so clearly she’s been influential. If you haven’t read her stuff, you should!

But the other day I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and came across this:

The rest of the update reads: “…minutes past Remy’s bedtime. Tra la la.”

So I’m looking at this and thinking, “Oh, that’s nice. Family. Beginning of summer. Building good memories.”

I’m happy she could post that, but it’s not a big deal, right? It’s not like her kids won American Idol or converted Kanye West. I would hope many of you could post some nice slice of a pre-bedtime moment if you have kids, or a nice pic of you and friends relaxing on your deck if you don’t, right?

What baffles me is what’s under the update. 4,700 people “liked” this, and 138 people commented!

I showed husband John and asked him why he thought so many people engaged with a simple picture of someone’s kids playing in their back yard. He said something which I thought was brilliant (I think most of what he says is pretty brilliant though). He said: Continue reading

Learning From Those Who are Dying and Those Who Are Living

February 14, 2014 / lauracrosby

On Tuesday some dear friends welcomed their first baby, Nel. New life, greeted with great joy.

This morning, Wednesday, we got word that a 93 year old friend had entered the kingdom of heaven overnight. He had a mind as sharp as our polar vortex wind, but the body of a helpless infant. The last time we visited him he had been in hospice at home for over a month and when we saw him he felt like he was just. done. He was ready to greet death with great joy.

Upon Dallas Willard’s death, John Ortberg wrote of him:

“He (Dallas) said that a person is a series of conscious experiences, and that for the one who trusts and follows Jesus, death itself has no power to interrupt this life, for Jesus said that the one who trusts in him will not taste death. Dallas died on May 8, 2013. I’m not sure if anyone has told him yet.” Continue reading

Two Truths and A Lie

February 7, 2014 / lauracrosby

Let me just start by admitting I can be a major cranky pants baby. I can whine about my bad hair, long lines, and limitations. Like this stupid foot injury that has kept me from running. And the whole Polar Vortex conspiracy against Minnesota which has made doing anything outside (my spiritual pathway) virtually impossible because by the time you get all the layers on that you need to survive in minus a bazillion, you have to go to the bathroom and so it takes you all day to get in a walk around the lake and you don’t get all the other stuff done you’re supposed to do.

However, with this One-Word-Choose-Life-thing I’m trying not to be (a cranky pants baby, that is). Which has led me back again and again to two truths and a lie:

1. No matter what, no matter when, no matter where, we have choices.

Where do you feel stuck in cranky pants baby mode? Right now, think…What choices of attitude, action, or reaction do you have that would mean choosing life in the situation that comes to mind?

I can’t run, for right now (limitation), but I can bike (choice). I can’t bike outside (limitation), but I can bike inside on a stationary bike (choice).

I hate being inside, so I could whine and resist, but I’m blessed to have a facility I can use to exercise so instead I’m choosing to thank God for that (granted, sometimes through gritted teeth!).

2. Everything counts. Everything. Something is always better than nothing. You can’t do all of the things, but you can do something. What is it in your situation?

Friday I pushed. I went to the gym (that I hate), and biked 12 miles hard and fast (for me, at least). I felt great. I felt proud of myself. I felt like I had triumphed over the Polar Vortex conspiracy and the foot demon conspiracy and all of the bad things in the world.

Saturday I was back. I pushed again and biked hard, but only did 6 miles. I could think, “LOSER!”, but instead I chose to say, “Everything is something.” I needed to focus on the small ways I had chosen life.

The LIE? “It’s all or nothing.” The perfect ten mile run in 70 degree weather that feels like floating on air with a hot guy holding an umbrella drink at the end… or NOTHING.

You can choose to turn something off, do something new, make a phone call, thank someone, say “no”, say “yes”, listen…And every little thing you do to choose life counts. Celebrate that!

What’s the one something you can do today to choose life that isn’t everything, but still counts? Is it words? Attitude? Actions?

The Choice Today Gives You

May 24, 2013 / lauracrosby

A departure from Fearless Friday this week… Day after tomorrow our youngest daughter, Maggie will marry the love of her life. It’s a week of celebrating God’s faithfulness. Looking back and praying forward. Our Maggie is an adventure waiting to happen. Someone for whom the world is full of friends she just hasn’t met yet. Her ability to choose life is seen clearly in this post from two years ago…

I never, EVER thought there would be a day in my life when I would accidentally end up in a nudist camp, looking for the Giant Lady’s Leg Sundial in rural Indiana. But that’s exactly what happened.

I just got back from the road trip my daughter Maggie and I took driving a U Haul, moving her to D.C. and stopping at quirky sights along the way.

Our trip included car dancing, U turns, bonding with fellow truckers, and stops like the sundial, a space acorn (we just missed the UFO convention) and a hot dog bun “museum” of sorts. It was a blast. Three days of adventure filled with laughter.

I kept thinking of Deuteronomy 30:19 that reminds us to “choose life!” The life that God has created includes everything from the inspirational, to the sacrificial, to the…FUN!

So…on this Memorial Day weekend I hope each of you find a giant orange moose, or a space acorn, or something that gives you delight!

How are you choosing life today? What are the life-giving relationships, experiences and spiritual practices that bring you joy?