Tag: choice

4 Things to do When You’re Out of Control

March 23, 2020 /

I walked to my Starbucks the other day, feeling all sunshiny and full of hope for the one thing I could still count on in our time of chaos, and they are closed indefinitely. (Is God still on His throne??!!)

We were supposed to fly to Chicago last weekend to see my parents, but our flight was cancelled.

I haven’t bought toilet paper in a month and now there is none to be found. I heard a podcast the other day highlighting the different kinds of leaves to use if you run out of toilet paper!

A friend had a birthday this week and I couldn’t give her a hug.

Most of us are planners, amiright?

We plan to go to the gym while the kids are in school. We plan a vacation for Spring Break. We choose to meet friends for coffee, or play tennis, or watch the Master’s golf tournament on T.V.

We love doing what we want, when we want, with no interference.

During this season when nothing is going as we planned and all our illusions of control have been shattered, I think it’s important to pay attention to how we’re responding.

How is loss of control affecting you?

Do you notice little power struggles between you and family members becoming intensified?

Are everyday preferences a battle ground to exert control when so much has been taken away?

John likes complete darkness watching T.V. and low lighting all of the time. I like light, and when most of the other choices in my life have been taken away, this tiny little thing becomes more important.

I realize subconsciously I’m thinking, “I MAY NOT HAVE TOILET PAPER, BUT I WILL HAVE LIGHT DARNIT!”

What are some things we can do to assure that we’ll come out the other side of this better human beings than we were before?

1.Pay attention to what triggers you and be curious. Why is this bugging me? How important is it?

2.Get creative about the choices you DO have! Find ways to chose connection, service, and fun! Maggie and Austin did a virtual Happy Hour and Bingo night with friends. Folks with margin are reading books on video to give parents with restless kids a break.

3.Create a breath prayer for those times when you feel triggered by “out of control” feelings. All you do to create a breath prayer is choose a name for God that is important to you in this season. Breathe it in. Then breathe out a phrase that sums up what you need.

Lately mine has been: “Prince of Peace, settle me down.”

4.Gain perspective by reflecting on all the ways God has been faithful in the past – Guidance? Provision? Course correction? Say a prayer of praise. Look at Psalm 77 for an encouraging model of honesty and choice.

What’s been helpful to you during this time of change, loss, and uncertainty?

I’ve been posting very brief devotional thoughts on my Instagram Stories, and continuing to try to bring joy, encouragement and inspiration on my feed. I’d love to hear from you there!

Reflections on Being Thirteen in Minnesota and Uganda

September 22, 2014 /

You know this blog is about the relationships, experiences and practices God uses to form us, right?  Well, today I’m putting up a guest post from our daughter, Maggie.  Most of you remember she worked in Northern Uganda this summer, doing an internship for her Masters in Public Health.  Her experiences with the poor, and particularly with women, have formed in her, a heart for justice – the justice I believe is in God’s heart too.   I’m sharing this as a little background before I post an update on the ways you have made a difference, joining in her work there.

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When I was 13 years old and growing up in Eden Prairie Minnesota, my most pressing concerns included: getting the braces off my teeth as soon as humanly possible, convincing my mother to allow me to wear a two-piece bathing suit (or get my cartilage pierced – I varied my advocacy agenda to better my odds), and counting down the days until I would finally get my first period. I was in a big hurry to grow up and these experiences seemed like pivotal pieces of my maturation strategy. Continue reading

Three Ways to Choose Woohoo’s

January 10, 2014 /

I shared last week that my One Word for 2014 is LIFE (as in “Choose Life!”).  

I think LIFE is a really great One Word. (Woohoo for me!) I think it’s at the root of following Jesus.  I’m not saying my One Word is better than yours!  Noooooo!  That would be soooo foolish.  Like watching a Bachelorette marathon and eating a bag of Oreos foolish.

I love all the One Word’s you’ve shared here that you are prayerfully living into this year.  (If you want in on the fun look here or here and add your Word in the comments!).  But I also think that a case can be made that whatever word you’ve chosen, it’s about choosing life – the capital “L” life that God made us for.

Ok, I know some of you are reading this in California, or Bali, or Singapore.  The palm trees are swaying and you call a day of sweet warm sun and tropical flowers “Tuesday”.  Your Word may seem easy and your burden light.  You may have a hard time relating to a picture like the one below, but it exists.  Trust me.  I know it too well. Continue reading

One Word and a Challenge

January 1, 2014 /

So it’s the first day of 2014.  Fresh start.  Leftover cookies are in the trash.  Cleaning and purging excess junk is on my “to do” list today.  The year stretches before us filled with possibilities.

I read back over my journal and reflected on my “one word” for 2013 – Fearless.  There’s nothing magic about prayerfully choosing a word to live into, to pay attention to and “fearless” was not the silver bullet for me.

I wrote that actually my year was more characterized by “undaunted” than “fearless”.  I prevailed more and feared less because God was present and empowering.  Running races, raising money for clean water, pursuing peace in personal relationships and internationally.  I truly believe none of this was possible apart from God.

So on to 2014.  My One Word for this year really should be “Cheater”.  I’ve prayed and reflected and pondered in my little heart of hearts, but I can’t play by the rules this year.  I’m going to be a cheater.  Or a rebel.  Rebel sounds edgier.

My “One Word” for 2014 is two words.  Or, “ChooseLife”, if you will.

Ok, you may think this is a sneaky way to do all of the things.  Or all of the words.  Maybe, but I don’t think so.

I believe God is calling me to focus on choosing

  • Activity over passivity
  • Treasure and truth over trash
  • Laughter and tears over apathy
  • Health over gluttony
  • Adventure over safety
  • Life-giving words over words of destruction
  • Redemption over regret
  • In vs. out on the sidelines

I believe this also ties into the theme of this blog – Awakening our souls…paying attention to  LIFE – the relationships, experiences, and practices God uses to form us into His likeness.

So, Fridays will be devoted to the sharing of ways we’ve found life in all it’s fullness.  Or totally tanked.  Or struggled somewhere in the middle.

Here’s my challenge for you today:  You are awesome.  I hear from many of you via email, text, fb message, or you speak to me to respond to posts.  I want to challenge you today to opt into this community of “Awakeners” and benefit from each other’s awesomeness.

Choose one word (Or cheat and choose two). One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long.

Post a comment here – a word if you’ve chosen one, or your thoughts on this practice if not.

Commit to our Fridays of focusing on choosing life and paying attention to the work of God.

“This day I call the heavens and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses.  Now choose life, so that you and your children my live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him.  For the Lord is your life…” Deuteronomy 30:19-20

“The thief comes to steal, and kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”  John 10:10

Fear and Control

July 19, 2013 /

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“Show me a controlling person and I’ll show you a person who is secretly afraid.” Donald Miller

What do you think?  Is that all of us?

Who doesn’t want to be in control?  If pressed, most of us are sure we have a pretty good plan for the universe, right?

I see this most clearly in my relationship with my adult daughters.  When you’re the parent of little kids you exert control for their safety and training.

But, dang if they don’t grow up and start actually having their own opinions and making their own BIG life choices!  Seemingly all of a sudden you’re totally out of control and, (Gasp!), what if their choices reflect badly on you?  Or make your life more difficult?  Or take them down a path you know will be painful?

I find my fists clenched, feel a vague undercurrent of anxiety, and my mind turns to ways to manipulate coerce  gently offer wise counsel.

When we feel that emotion of fear…anxiety…sadness…maybe we need to ask ourselves some questions.

Continue reading

When You See it and When You Don’t

November 21, 2012 /

Our daughter Maggie got engaged last weekend.

We exclaim, “Oh, yes!”  We can clearly see God’s faithfulness, His provision, His plan.  And we sing, like it’s New Year’s Eve, with confetti and streamers and hugs

“Great is Thy faithfulness O God our Father.”

Two new babies were born to friends this week.  And we sing

“Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not.”

A delightful surprise package of gifts appeared on our back step.

“Blessings all mine and ten thousand besides.”

A dear friend was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer.  And it’s hard to see, but we try to sing

“Strength for today…”

The homeless guys still show up on our corner every day, and we have loved ones who are still prodigals, and others who are single, or childless and don’t want to be.  We want to sing a lovely future into their lives.

 “and bright hope for tomorrow.”

Israelis and Palestinians are killing each other.  Our voices waver a bit…

“Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth.”

Years ago we took the girls on a family vacation to Colorado.  They were little and excited.  It was the first time they would see the mountains.

But Maggie couldn’t.  She kept saying, “I.  Do.  Not.  See. Them!”

Continue reading

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