Tag: character of God (Page 2 of 2)

On Being Found

August 5, 2013 /

We’re celebrating our 30th anniversary today which brought to mind this post from last year.  For those of you newer to this blog, my hope is that it is encouraging to you today.

This is a story about me.  But it’s also about you.  Whether you’re married or single, read on.

Today is our 29th wedding anniversary.  And 28 years ago today was a bad day.

Our one year anniversary.

We were with family and friends at a cabin, high on a pine-filled shore overlooking a pristine lake in northern Wisconsin.

Cannon balls into the icy cold crystal blue.  Double tubing wars bumping  over the waves and plumpy only-in-the-summertime-at-the-cabin clouds overhead.  It seemed like a good day.

And it was.

Until husband John took his wedding ring off to ski and put it on the pier, asking our friend to watch it.

You know what’s coming next, don’t you?  (And by the way, WHO takes their wedding ring off to ski???)

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When You Feel Like You’re Losing Yourself

April 10, 2013 /

“We are all so ruined, so loved, and in charge of so little.” Anne Lamott

Our daughter Maggie is getting married in 46 days.

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When she got engaged in November many people asked with concern in their voices “How are you doing?”

“Great!” I responded.  “Austin (her fiancé) is terrific and I’m excited for them!”

And then, last week, driving down highway 100 at 4:00 in the afternoon, thinking of the possibility that Maggie and Austin may move to California (you know, like, at the opposite end of the world, and a continent away from daughter Katy), I found myself sobbing and thinking “I’m NOT ok!  I’m losing my baby!  I’m losing my family!  I’m losing my identity! I hate change!”

I. Am. Out. Of. Control.

Yes, I was a tad over-dramatic, but give me my moment.

Everything feels like it’s slipping, slipping, slipping out of my hands, out of my control, like the gooey “gak” I used to make with the kids when they were little.

Change.  Loss.  New beginnings.

I’m not the only one.  I have young friends who are graduating, some going back to school, and others who are moving, some taking big new risks.  My sister-in-law after much prayer, just resigned from a job she’s loved for years.

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Pregnant, part 1

December 10, 2012 /

Good morning!

As we move closer to Christmas it’s easy to let the busyness of preparation hijack my attention and ability to be present to God, so I thought I’d share posts this week that will each focus on a different spiritual practice that might be helpful.  It’s important for me as a spiritual ADD girl for sure, and I hope helpful for you too.

peace,                                                                                                                            Laura

I love Mary (as in mother of Jesus Mary).  Which is a little weird cuz I really bristle at some of what sometimes feels like the overboard Catholic put-her-on-a-pedestal-next-to-Jesus stuff.

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She’s no shiny white above-the-fray-bullet-proof other-worldly woman.

But still.  I think she’s amazing and I’m fascinated with her.

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Olympic Parents and God

August 3, 2012 /

Watching the Olympics this week I’ve been struck by the parents of the athletes.  Invested, hopeful, prayerful, committed, passionate are just a few of the words that come to mind.

What a contrast to the image of God I think many of us carry around – the distant, more concerned-with-global-chaos or, out-of-touch-with-what-it’s-really-like “Being” who kind of nods or frowns or raises His eyebrows from afar.

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What Formed You in 2011?

December 30, 2011 /

Tuesday night was daughter Maggie’s last night at home and I asked the family what they felt had been the most formative relationship, experience or spiritual practice for each of them this past year.  Like, what has God used to mold us into people who are hopefully more like Him?

I’m thankful they’re a patient, gracious bunch and they humor me when I pose these questions from time to time (As a side note however, we have totally bombed at the Crosby family Scripture memory challenge, but that’s another story).  In answer to the formation question, what the two girls shared was related to a spiritual practice.  For my husband, John it was an experience.  How would you answer that question?

Mine was an experience too.  For me, processing loss  that I’ve experienced on a bunch of different fronts over the past few years, was what I felt God used to form a deeper understanding of His character resulting in greater peace.

As I processed the losses I struggled to trust that God was still at work on my behalf for His glory.  At one point this year I was riding my bike and in my spirit I ranted, “God I keep showing up, but it sure doesn’t feel like You are!”

And quietly, gently, I sensed the Holy Spirit respond, “Oh yes I am.”

And in that moment I realized that I was equating “showing up” with ACTION.  My way.  My time! (like immediately).

After that little interaction, God kept bringing to mind example after example to correct my misperception.

“You may have experienced loss, but…

I am at work in unseen ways like with Elisha, surrounding him with horses and chariots (2 Kings 6:15-17)

I am never late.  I have a plan like with Lazarus (John 11)

I hear and respond whether you see it right away or not like with Daniel (Daniel 10:12-13).”

“God is a God who sometimes hides Himself but never a God who absents Himself; sometimes in the dark, but never at a distance.”  Matthew Henry

We’re all works in process, right?  We’ve never arrived.  But I think my answer to “What has formed you?” would be wrestling with God in loss.  And what He seems to be forming is trust and peace.  Slowly but surely.  What about you?

As you look back on 2011 what has been the most formative relationship, experience, or spiritual practice in your life?  What do you think God desires to form in you through it?

Come Holy Spirit

December 16, 2011 /

I was maneuvering laboriously, with stops and starts, through the parking lot at Costco yesterday, thinking for the millionth time that the Costco parking lot is either an outer ring of hell or a brilliant opportunity for spiritual formation.  

As I dodged runaway giant shopping carts,

and waited for pedestrians absorbed in studying their shopping lists wandering blindly in the middle of the row,

and backed up for cars in front of me that slammed on their brakes upon spying the tell-tale white reverse lights of a car vacating a parking place they could nab…

I thought of a spiritual practice a friend of mine has been advocating.  The simple practice of saying “Come Holy Spirit” throughout the day in situations like this that require patience, understanding, and discipline beyond me.

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Hormones and Ham, Messes and Mis-understanding

December 12, 2011 /

One of us in our family had a meltdown Friday night.  It might have included an ugly cry and talk about budgets, Christmas cards, ham, and insensitive comments.

My husband and I both worked really hard to understand each other, but OK, honestly John worked at it a lot harder than I did because, well, not to be sexist, but I’m a girl.  And he feels really bad when I cry.

On this night our discussion was kind of like a Christmas movie marathon that seems to go on forever and eventually the stories seem to start blurring together and you get really tired.  But John persisted and kept asking questions and listening until he finally said something and I grabbed him and yelled with great joy, “YOU SAID IT RIGHT THAT TIME!”

I felt like he finally got it.  He understood.  And he felt like he had vanquished the Abominable Snow Monster, guided Santa’s sleigh through the blizzard, and saved Christmas in that moment.  He was my hero again.

It made me think of what Joseph must have gone through with Mary.  I mean really.  Jesus was fully human AND fully God, but Mary was just human!  She was hormonal, and still in her teens, and unmarried and poor.  And an angel had beamed down to have a chat with and her fiance.

Think of the conversations Mary and Joseph must have had as they navigated this crazy journey of morning sickness, and gossipy friends, and a long “road” trip without McDonald’s bathrooms!  There must have been tears and confusion.  Trying to understand what each other was feeling.  Trying to support each other.

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