Tag: busyness (Page 1 of 2)

The Only Thing You Need to Put on Your Holiday To-Do List

November 27, 2022 /

I really wish I liked Yoga more. It’s healthy.  And it’s so in.  But I’m not crazy about it.

Here are the only things I like about Yoga:

  • the comfy pants that are like legal pajamas,
  • the fact that you do it in a group, and not, for example on a stationary bike in your basement (like a crazy introvert),
  • the corpse pose (where you lay still with soft music playing and the instructor sometimes massages your shoulders).

And one more thing…

They remind you to breathe.  In fact, I think that’s the only part I consistently get right when I go.  I mess up all the poses.  And I can’t make myself pretzelize (is that a word?) like my friend Brooke.

But then they say, “Don’t forget to breathe.” and I think “Yes!  I’ve got that down!  Score!” (Can you tell I’m better at competitive sports than contemplative ones?)

Sometimes the best I can do at Yoga is to just keep breathing.  Sometimes the best I can do in the Christmas season is just keep breathing too.

Our to-to lists are too long.  We drop balls and forget to follow through with details.  And our regular spiritual practices and rhythm of time with Jesus may suffer.  But no matter what happens in the next few weeks, most (hopefully all) of us will still be breathing when we get to the New Year.  So what if breathing became a spiritual practice?  

It’s one many of you are probably familiar with: breath prayer.

Think for a minute…What is a name for God that is especially meaningful to you this season?  Abba Father, Gentle Shepherd, Wonderful Counselor, Prince of Peace, Emmanuel, Light of the World, King of Kings…

As you breathe in, silently say this name for God.

Then… What sums up your need or desire of your heart this season?

Peace?  Healing? Guidance?

Construct a short phrase that expresses this.  As you breathe out, pray this phrase.

For a long time, I’ve felt out of control in many areas of my life, so my breath prayer has been, “Abba Father” (as I breathe in).  “Do what only You can do.” (as I breathe out).

Or maybe you might pray something like Mary did “Holy One, be magnified in my life.”  (Luke 2:46-55).

Or, “Prince of Peace, calm my anxious heart.”

In heavy traffic.  Breathe.  In crowded stores.  Breathe.  In tense family situations.  Breathe.  Sitting in front of your Christmas tree. Breathe.  On a walk alone.  Breathe.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.

Just.  Keep.  Breathing.

Edward* and Jesus

November 12, 2022 /

A grande skim mocha, extra hot, no whip, is one of my love languages and a luxury I indulge in every morning instead of breakfast. I know, I know. Let me live.

Some mornings very early I bike with my coffee to a beautiful spot nearby, but when my extroverted self needs the hum and hubbub of other humans around, I stay for a couple hours at Starbucks – spend time with Jesus and writing or prepping to speak.

There is a socially awkward man, Edward*, who is also there very early every morning. He looks like he should be a clerk at a rare bookshop in London, but his actual job is working at a grocery store nearby here in Minneapolis. I’m guessing he’s on the Autism spectrum. He’s single, bald, with glasses, and always alone. Sometimes he brings a paper bag with a boiled egg from home for his breakfast. He just sits, staring out the window, but his face lights up when I come in.

He seems lonely so I try to be friendly for a reasonable amount of time (60 seconds?). Remember that time I posted on Instagram about seeing something and saying something?

I say “Hi” and comment on the weather and ask him if he’s working today and if he prefers his newspaper to online. Then I make a point of putting my earbuds in and moving on with my day. He returns to staring out the window.

Here’s the thing. On the days Edward doesn’t work, I wonder if I’m the only person who speaks to him. This morning as I put my earbuds in, the Holy Spirit whispered, “As you did it to the least of these, you did it to Me.”

I think about Jesus and Edward. Would Jesus spend unlimited time talking to him? How much time is enough to love Edward well? I mean Jesus had other people to meet and heal too, right? Which of the things on my “to do list” would Jesus think was more important than talking to Edward?

We can’t love people in a hurry.

I thought of Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4 – another person, who although she had several husbands, seemed to be isolated, outcast and lonely. Or Matthew the tax collector, or Zacchaeus. Jesus was a first class noticer and an inviter.

Jesus’ life was full of holy interruptions He made time for.

I heard someone say we need to “Walk through life at the speed of love.”

Even when I was super stressed with a long to-do list and two active toddlers to care for, my mentor said, “If you’re too busy to take a pot of soup to someone, you’re too busy.”

Or maybe today she’d say “If you’re too busy to talk to Edward, you’re too busy.”

Yes, I know there are seasons when you’re caring for too many others, or your health is compromised in some way, or your husband is MIA and you’re the one in need of soup. Be gentle with yourself and accept the help or the companionship of Jesus who shows up in the guise of a stranger at Starbucks or a pot of soup on your doorstep.

But if you can, take time for holy interruptions like Edward.

*Not his real name.

The Busy Burden and Badge

September 9, 2016 /

When you ask a friend, “How you doing?” I bet I can guess the answer you hear 99% of the time. It’s a version of the same response I get.

“I’m too busy!”

Busy has become both a burden and a badge of honor. We are stressed, but we are secretly kind of relieved that we are soooo in demand. We are soooo important to the world. We’re kind of a big deal.

An acquaintance of mine who’s also one of my favorite authors has a new book out that’s been getting a lot of traction. The gist of it is basically:

I was too busy. I learned to say “no”. It helps to have a lake cabin to retreat to.

You’re too busy. Learn to say “no”. It helps to have a lake cabin to retreat to.

Many, especially young women around me, find this simple message tremendously freeing and validating. I’m all for it and I’m thrilled for any resource that helps us become more grounded and Jesus-centered, but what are we actually doing about it? We don’t have to live by default or as cosmic victims. We all have choices. As Craig Groeschel says,

“We all have time for what we choose to have time for.”

What about if we asked some of these questions about our choices:

  • What am I filling my life with? How much of it is vital to who I want to become and who is most important to me?
  • How attached am I to my phone, to social media? What is it replacing?
  • Am I spending more time invested in relationships with the characters on Homeland than the people in my own home?
  • What is the most important thing I’ve been distracted from doing?

Adele Calhoun, in her chapter on Rest in Invitations from God, writes about soft addictions. These are behaviors that sap time, money, and energy just like work. She sites the statistic that 91% of us have soft addictions. They are the ways we overuse good things: food, caffeine, exercise TV, Internet, texting, Facebook, work, and shopping.

My friend James preached recently and talked about this as the stuff that pollutes the springs of Living Water Jesus promises us, clogging our lives like milfoil.

“Filling our blank spaces with every addiction, reduces our capacity to give and receive love.” he says. At risk are family dinners, face-to-face date nights, devotions, prayer walks…

Some of the things that keep us from lives that are peace and joy-filled are comparison, perfectionism, fear, and shame. Ironically, these are things that are reinforced more and more through social media, 24/7 news cycles, t.v. and ads.

Evidence of too-busy-too-preocupied-to-be-present-disease is present everywhere. Phones are just one distracting urgent-over-important choice among many.

When I see parents with kids in tow, absorbed on their smartphones, oblivious to their children. I want to snatch the phone and say “DON’T DO IT!! I know it doesn’t seem like it, but your time with them is so fleeting! God has entrusted them to you. You have stewardship of these precious ones for 18 years. Make the most of it! Talk to them! Listen to them!”

But it’s not just parents. It’s 20-something singles (and 50-somethings…ahem), gripped by FOMO, who hold their smartphone through a meal like a security blanket.

I’m not in a stressful busy season of life. I have margin. But I’ve lived to experience the truth a mentor of mine shared with me when I was in my twenties. She said:

“Yes, it’s especially hard to prioritize in seasons when you have little kids, or high stress jobs with long hours. However, in some ways it doesn’t get easier no matter what season you’re in. You will ALWAYS be tempted by distractions, and the Evil One knows exactly what is most tempting to derail you. How you spend your time is always a choice, so work hard RIGHT NOW to put good practices in place.”

When we listen more to the Lover of our souls than the Liar, we find grace and acceptance just as we are.

Then we’ll hear:

“I’m cheering you on as you serve Hamburger Helper and leave the carpet un-vacuumed because I love it when you choose people over ‘perfection'”

“The world won’t end if a few emails go unanswered for 12 hours. I’m delighted that you chose to walk with Me and talk to Me tonight.”

“It’s ok if you don’t know what Donald Trump said today, you listened fully to your 2 year old’s excited rambling about something crucially important to him.”

“Way to go. A phone-free walk outside with a friend who shares your heart is better for your soul than scrolling FB feeds for a virtual community buzz.”

We’re in this together! Let’s encourage each other today as we try to choose what’s most important to our souls.

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After I finished writing this, I happened to listen to a great podcast by Craig Groeschel called “I choose Important over Urgent”. I highly recommend it if you want more on this subject!

 

Four Names to Change Your Day

December 5, 2014 /

As I write this it is still dark out.  I woke up like I was walking into an action movie in the middle – my mind spinning like a kick boxer doing a roundhouse (not sure how I know that!). As I drove first to Starbucks and then to my little “office” I thought how preoccupied my mind is with “to do’s” and how much I long to be preoccupied with Jesus.

This is one reason why I love being outside in the morning when it’s still dark, the stars quiet, and sure. It reminds me of the bigger story – the one that shrinks the to-do list in my pocket.  The expansive night sky helps me right-size. God keeps the world spinning while we sleep – amazing.  It reminds me of my smallness in a good way.

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Part of the process every Advent of creating space for Jesus to be formed in me is focusing on His names from Isaiah 9:6.  It’s another way of trying to “right-size”.

Which of these names do you need to be reminded of most this Advent season? Continue reading

Self-awareness and the Busy

September 11, 2014 /

Monday I wrote about “crazy busy” and questions we might ask ourselves.

I’m fortunate.  I happen to be in a season of life where I have plenty of margin and discretionary time because my kids are grown and I don’t have the financial pressures some people have. However, I do see how I need to pay attention to busyness in two areas. Continue reading

5 Questions to Ask When You’re “CRAZY Busy”

September 8, 2014 /

“We’ve just been so CRAZY busy!”

I have a friend whose emails contain this phrase along with profuse apologies about her perpetual stress level almost every single time she writes me.

Sometimes I want to shout at the computer “Well STOP DOING so much!”

Brene Brown says exhaustion is the new status symbol. If we don’t feel overwhelmed we must not be doing something important.  Are you buying into that?

I want to tell my crazy busy friend about my sister-in-law who realized that they had had so many people visiting their lake cabin over the past few years that none of their family was actually able to enjoy it.  They were always hosting someone else, so she called a moratorium for this one summer.  A time out.  To that I say “Bravo!”  It can be done.

But I also realize how hard it must be to think of disappointing friends who don’t have lake homes and who look forward to visiting every year.  Boundaries are not without their downside.  They take courage and resolve.

As I’ve been thinking about my friend and my sister-in-law, 5 Questions have come to mind that might be helpful to ask ourselves when we’re “CRAZY Busy”:

1.  How does this level of busyness affect the state of my soul? Really.  Am I at my best at these rpm’s?  How much does my busyness feed my false self – the part of me that needs to be validated by my achievements?

2.  Is this just a season (temporary), or is it an on-going pattern of over-extending myself?

3.  Why have I said “yes” to each of these commitments?  Which have I said “yes” to out of fear or a need to prove something?  Examine your commitments one by one.

4.  Do I have choices where I may have been making excuses? (Ex.: I have to work on the sr. high school party because I did it when our other child was a sr.)

5.  Who are the right people to disappoint?

I’d really love to just sit down and have a conversation with you about this over a DQ Blizzard because I’d like to hear your thoughts too.

What do you think?  Is there one person you feel like you need to be willing to disappoint in order to have a healthier rhythm of life?

Need a little more encouragement?  You are not a victim.  You own your choices. Learn from Bob Goff who tries to quit something every Thursday.photo-157

Participating in a link up with…

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Two Questions When You’re “Off”

May 20, 2013 /

Last week is was sunny and cool with big, fluffy white clouds pushing each other around in the blue sky where we were staying near Windsor in Great Britain.  (The weather was a tad different the day I took this picture).

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I had just gotten back from a run during which I asked for directions about 492 times in tiny boroughs, at pubs, hoping to find a park. I kept getting pointed different directions.  I felt a little like I was on a perpetual rural British roundabout.

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Finally a woman said, “Well, there’s a moor down that way, but I’m afraid you’d get lost on it.”  Good bet.

I turned around and shuffle/jogged back to the hotel where I jumped into the shower and realized I’d been using body lotion instead of conditioner on my hair for the past few days. That could explain a lot.  (Don’t laugh – it could happen to you.)

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All that to say, I’ve been a little …“off”.

Eating too much, sleeping too little, not paying attention, and getting lost.  A little out of my regular rhythm, both physically and spiritually.

When you travel (or when you have anything “extra”going on, or a sick kid, or out-of-town guests, or a project due…) it’s so easy to get knocked off-stride and out of your spiritual rhythm.

In these times I tend to get to the end of the day and think,

“Where am I?  Who am I?  And how did I get to the end of this day totally missing God?”

Two questions can make all the difference as to whether my day is purposeful and life-giving, or a blur of empty activity.

1.  Have I filled my mind with anything of the Spirit?  Have I sought the mind of God to orient myself?  Especially when I’m busy or in a new environment.

Ok, let’s be honest here.  I don’t mean reading and taking notes on a chapter of Ezekiel every day.  I mean anything.  Truly, I’ve found God can use even the tiniest morsel to feed me if I give Him a chance.  If I’m clueless, any part of Psalm 25 is a great “go to” at the beginning of the day.  Anything is something.

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If I listen to God in the morning, there’s a much better chance my ear will be attuned to Him during the ordinary stuff and relationships of my day.  I also have a different grid through which I experience life.

2.  Have I made Space to process with God what He’s been showing me about Himself and myself throughout the day?  Where have I seen God and where have I missed Him?

Space, margin, silence…whatever you want to call it, it’s become rare in our 24/7 world of more news, more activity, more noise (especially for extroverts like me who can easily be sucked into the “more”.

Like Mary, I need to say “no” to the good in order to  choose “what is better”.  Whether it’s journalling or taking a prayer walk, I may need to limit accessibility to the world in order to be accessible to Jesus, prioritizing time to reflect on His activity.

What about you?  What helps you to reorient and pay attention when you’re “off”?

Invitations and the Three Things You Need

February 25, 2013 /

I’m not that person.  I’m not the sell-everything-move-to-the-slums-of-Calcutta-like-Mother-Theresa person.  That’s not the invitation I’ve sensed from God.  Yet.

I’m an ordinary girl trying to follow Jesus where He’s put me and getting it wrong a lot.

But if there’s one passion I have, it’s responding to the invitations God extends, as crazy as they might seem in my ordinary world.

The thing is these invitations rarely arrive in a giant Oscar-like envelope with a red seal screaming “THIS IS IMPORTANT!  PAY ATTENTION!”

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We long for invitation, but sometimes we have to lean close because the invitation is a whisper not a shout.

Recently, Bob Goff wrote,

“Jesus won’t try to speak over the noise in our lives; love whispers so we won’t be confused about who’s doing the talking.”

Sometimes it’s a whispered invitation to stop.  And do something you’ve never done before.  Something a tiny bit scary, or uncomfortable, or potentially embarrassing.

The whispered invitation may come right in your cramped apartment, or in your dysfunctional family, or on the road to work.

The invitation might look like a Jamaican cleaning woman stranded on the side of the road needing a ride,

or an injustice that begs for a note to your congressperson,

or a kid who could use a mentor or a meal.

The other day I saw a friend of mine who responded to the quiet invitation from God to take her aging parent for a delightful afternoon tea out, giving her mom loving attention and a listening ear no matter how confused she got.

Here’s the thing though.  I believe three ingredients are needed if you’re going to respond to these gentle, holy invitations.

An eye, an ear, an hour.

An eye for those in need, an ear attuned to the whispered prompts of God, and the time to respond.

I guess maybe the fourth thing that is needed is a willingness to actually do the work of responding, but the element that I think is most often missing in our lives, the thing that prevents us from responding to God’s invitations, is lack of margin.

A mentor of mine always said, “If you’re too busy to take a pot of soup to someone in need, you’re too busy.”

I know, I know…in some seasons margin is beyond our control.  And maybe the person in need is you.  You’re the perpetual care-giver who, like Elijah after an intense season, needs to respond to the whispered invitation for a snack and a nap.*

Then do that.  Pray. Rest.  Replenish.

But whether God whispers an invitation to be part of some kingdom work, or kingdom rest today, which element is most likely to get in the way of you responding?  An eye to see the needs, an ear to heaven, the guts to respond, or the time to do it?

God, show me where You want to work today, and invite me to be a part of it.  I’m trying to pay attention.

*1st Kings 19

Pregnant, part 2

December 12, 2012 /

This week I’m thinking about Mary and three spiritual practices that may help us prepare for Christmas.  You can read the first in the series here if you want.

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As I write this I’m in a lovely setting, looking out over our snowy Minnesota – an outward picture of peace and calm that is definitely not what I’m feeling inside.  In my fingers and toes and stomach is… fear – that indefinable tingly, insufficient, I can’t get it done emotion.  I need to do, to create, to produce and I don’t have it in me.  I’m not enough.

Is that feeling more common at Christmas than at other times of the year?

Continue reading

On Being Full and Being Empty

November 26, 2012 /

I feel full.  Stuffed, in fact.

As I write this it’s the day after Thanksgiving in the U.S. and I’m in a Starbucks in a suburb of Chicago where all my extended family live.  Christmas music is on in the background and Katy and John are heading over to join me so all is right in my world.

I am full of of turkey and laughter, and hugs and stories retold again and again around the long dinner table.  And prayers.

In our family we are blessed.

Thanksgiving is about fullness…reflecting on the fullness of the past year and filling up with more of God’s goodness echoing from the voices and reflected in the eyes of ones who love us and love Jesus.

But life seems to be a process of both filling and emptying.

We are emptied.

Depleted from discouragement, draining relationships, and days that seem to require the patience and strength of a super-hero.  Fatigued with fear of failure or future or just busyness.

And we are filled.

With whispers of His Word, and glimpses of His beauty and love and faithfulness in the ordinary moments of life.

The “Jesusy answer” may seem pat and tired, and hard to understand…mysterious in a way that makes us resist it.  And incomplete this side of heaven.  Our cups get bumped and jostled and tipped over and the only One who can do a real filling is Jesus.

This year, there was a change in our Thanksgiving traditions.  We needed a time of filling.  For the first time ever, there were no games on “the” day.  Instead of Charades or Pictionary or Nertz, there was a time of anointing and prayer and scripture shower for our dear friend Lee who is fighting for her life with Pancreatic cancer.

I heard someone this week use the phrase

“the place where our theology intersects with our biography.”

And I thought, “That’s it!  That’s what we’re experiencing.”

And it is really hard.

As this disease depletes her body, God provides His Body to refill.

The church is Christ’s body, in which he speaks and acts, by which he fills everything with his presence. Eph. 1:23

We don’t understand, and we’d much rather “do” something that feels more problem-solving, but God says anoint.  God says pray.  Wait.  Trust.  Bow.

He emptied Himself to that we might be filled.  Again and again.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s people,  to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Eph. 3:16-21

What about you?  Are you full or empty today?

What relationships, experiences, or practices does God use to fill you?

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