Tag: boundaries (Page 2 of 2)

What to do With Stress

I love being busy.  I thrive on more, but these days we’re a little over the top.

We leave today for a board meeting in London for 9 days (two weeks before our daughter gets married).  Yesterday, in addition to 731 wedding issues, most of which ended in disaster, there were 492 emails,

and we got updates on about 17 friends with hard health issues,

and then there were church staffing changes, upcoming moves, and housing issues for our kids,

and news that felt like betrayal and a punch in the gut for one of us,

Oh, and I shattered a pyrex bowl while trying to bake ahead for out of town wedding guests.

Yeah, sometimes it’s the little things that get you.

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I can hear you yelling at the computer about now. “Stress??!!!  That’s nothing!  You should see my life!”

The past few nights I’ve woken up at 3 a.m. for good and have sent emails with the subject line “things I woke up worrying about…” John’s favorite was:

What if our house is in the flight pattern the morning we’re outside doing the bridal brunch and prayer time and no one can hear anything over the roar of the planes?

The other night when I was awake the verse came to mind, “Don’t worry about anything.  Instead pray about everything.  Tell God all your needs and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers.”  But when I started talking to Him about what was worrying me it sounded pretty ridiculous.

What do you do with stress?  Here are a few things I’ve been learning:

  1. Write about it.   I was reading yesterday about Adoniram and Ann Judson who were missionaries to Burma in the early 1800’s.  Talk about stress!  Ann had two children die, went five years without seeing any fruit in their ministry and went 6 months with her husband gone, not knowing if he was dead or alive.  She used the spiritual practice of journaling to pour her heart out and try to keep things in perspective.  But the key was that she didn’t just write about her circumstances, but also what she believed about the character of God. 

So I tried this and it was a helpful reminder.  After writing whining to God about my stuff, I wrote:  I believe in all things You work for good to those who love you.(Romans 8:28).  I believe you will never leave or forsake me.(Hebrews 13:5). I believe many are the plans of the human heart, but it is your purpose that prevails (Proverbs19:21).

  • Exercise.  One of the great things about starting to train for the half-marathon is that every day although I’m sure I’m going to die, I don’t.  And when I finish I feel great.  It’s a terrific (though a tad sadistic) stress-reducer!
  • Say the hard words: “Could you please help?” and “No, I can’t do that.”  Some of our stress is self-imposed because we don’t have adequate boundaries, and some is because we are too proud to ask for help.  I am so grateful for the many gracious people in my community who have said “Sure I can do that!” or just provided a listening ear.
  • Just.  Keep. Breathing.  I wrote about this here.

What’s keeping you up at night?  What helps you when you’re stressed?

No Phone, Part 2

For the Summer of 7 Media Week we tried to fast from the thing we’re most attached to.  For me it was my phone.

Well, it’s over.  We’ve been off the grid to one degree or another and have discovered we’re not “all that”.

We don’t need to be accessible to everyone all the time and surprisingly the world is still spinning and no one we were responsible for died!   

The biggest loss for me was my iphone and every app that goes with it (read here).  Apparently I’m not alone in my attachment.  Look at the stats I read this week:

  • There are 7 billion people on Earth. 5.1 billion own a cell phone. 4.2 billion own a toothbrush. (Mobile Marketing Association Asia, 2011)
  • It takes 90 minutes for the average person to respond to an email. It takes 90 seconds for the average person to respond to a text message. (CTIA.org, 2011)
  • 1% of all smart phone users have their phone within arm’s reach 24/7 – (Morgan Stanley, 2012)
  • It takes 26 hours for the average person to report a lost wallet. It takes 68 minutes for them to report a lost phone(Unisys, 2012)

The benefits and drawbacks to technology and media were both intensified this week, but the biggest lesson for me is that I’m Media ADD –  totally undisciplined in this area. I need BOUNDARIES like Lindsay Lohan needs a better rehab program.

Confession:  I may be more responsive to my phone than I am to God.

There are no magic beans in this experiment.  In each area it’s going to take some conscious decisions about new habits and boundaries if we are going to move the dial even a millimeter.  Sooo… Help me out…

Do you have boundaries regarding media?  What are they?

For example, do you only check email or Facebook or Twitter at certain times of the day?  Put your phone away?  Or only use your phone for “necessary” stuff like calls and map quest?  Go without internet on the weekends?  Guard times of silence in your car or other places?

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