The other day I wrote about “good” fights. The times when somehow, against all odds, and all our emotion, and in spite of our bent towards holding grudges, with God’s help, we address conflict and come out on the other side…Maybe more whole. More compassionate. With a better understanding of grace. With a little clearer picture of redemption.
I outlined some steps that have been helpful to me, but…”1,2,3 steps” are always dangerous. I really wish we lived in a “1,2,3 voila!” world, but we don’t.
What about when a “good fight” goes bad?
Many years ago when I was first learning about what Jesus would ask of me regarding conflict I had a situation with a neighbor friend involving our kids. I really, truly felt I had gone through each of the steps to handle our disagreement in a healthy way.
I prayed like crazy! I examined my heart and thought I owned my part! I was calm for Pete’s sake!! I was warmly assertive and humble, darn it!
We sat at my kitchen table and you know how she responded? Continue reading
