Tag: affirmation (Page 1 of 2)

A Game to Stretch Spiritual Muscles

August 12, 2019 /

Ok, I’ll admit it…I’m not sure how many people are reading blog posts in August. I feel like I may be throwing words out into a void. So today I’ve edited and am reposting some thoughts from years ago. You can prove me wrong if you actually read this by posting a thought in the comments!

Spiritual practices are usually kind of like workouts at the gym, right?

They’re supposed to stretch the spiritual muscles that need stretching…to practice what you hope will one day come naturally.

Like you run a mile on the treadmill so that if one day you’re being chased by a bear you won’t collapse in a heap after 15 yards.

But that can sound a little…intense, so a couple weeks ago I decided to make a little game for myself.  

In our family we LOVE games, especially games with points.  (In case you’re worried about my theology, I know discipleship isn’t a game and it is about grace and cooperating with God’s work in our lives.  Just give this a chance! :))

I decided to see how many times I could genuinely affirm different people during the day.  I chose to give myself extra credit points for specific compliments that weren’t appearance related and for words of affirmation directed at strangers.

Maggie’s response when I told her about my game?  “Mom, you’re weird. Kind. But weird.”

I told her I didn’t think she was being very affirming.

I continued this practice over the week and it has been a rich discipline that has helped me notice things with gratitude…notice God’s gifts to me.

Some of the most fun moments of affirmation:

▪ Asking to speak to a customer service rep’s supervisor on the phone because she had been so helpful and I wanted to be sure she was recognized. (She was so shocked I wondered if anyone EVER says anything positive to Customer Service folks)

▪ Texting a young man with a reminder that I see God in him and he is a man of integrity in hard situations.

▪ Writing a note to a man who had been let go from his job, affirming the value he had brought to the organization

▪ Introducing myself and thanking a mentally challenged young man for the great job he was doing cleaning the health club.

Anyway, it’s been so much fun and has stretched my “gratitude muscles”

We’re bombarded with so much information that sometimes we need to just try ONE THING and see how it goes.  Maybe give this one a go and see what you think!

OR suggest a different spiritual experiment!  I’d love to hear your ideas!

Let me know what happens!

3 Characteristics of a Small Thing With Big Impact

February 21, 2018 /

Imagine going to your mailbox on a bright, chilly, winter day and as you pull out the impersonal ads and the dreaded bills, among the mess, you find (gasp!) a real, live, hand-addressed note! As rare as a unicorn! To YOU!

One of my favorite verses is Zechariah 4:10 that tells us not to despise the day of small things. A note is a “small thing” that can have a huge impact.

What if whenever you notice anything positive you were to write a note of affirmation to the person who comes to mind? Many times when I’ve done this, the recipient of a note has remarked on the perfect timing of its arrival. That’s God at work through a “small thing”.

John and I both have a drawer where we save special notes that have been meaningful and encouraging to us. As I think about them, there are several characteristics they have in common.

Continue reading

5 Practices to Combat Yard-sticking, Part 2

February 13, 2018 /

We all want to feel significant. Am I right??  We want to be -ER or -EST.

But when the only way we get our validation is through “yard-sticking” (being better or best), rather through God’s unconditional delight in us we’re sunk.

I compare, and I think “Ahhhh! I’m better than that!” and pride sneaks in. Or I compare and I think, “Oh, I’ll never be as good as ______” and I forget my worth in Jesus. Pride or Insecurity are the dangers of focusing on -er and -est.

This is an on-going struggle, kind of like whack-a-mole, needing constant attention because the yardstick will pop up over and over.

The other day I wrote about the first 3 practices that I’ve tried in combatting the tendency to yardstick. Here are the final 2. What would you add?

4. Practice gratitude.

Everything God created is good, and to be received with thanks. 1Timothy 4:4 MSG

Stop and make a list of the gifts, talents, and opportunities God has given you, thanking Him for the “good works He planned for you long ago”. Even things that seem like limitations may be used for God’s glory. Think of Peter and Paul in jail and their witness.

5. Embrace the discipline of genuine affirmation that comes from a place of abundance not scarcity.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Sometimes, especially when someone else is getting a boatload of attention, it’s hard to be affirming. We can choke on our words because we think “It’s not FAIR!” But when we can be authentic and specific I believe it will strengthen our confidence in God as a God of abundance and not scarcity.

 

One caveat…I do believe that there are times when we’re called to protect our soul from people who somehow Satan seems to consistently use to reinforce the lie of “not good enough”.  This doesn’t mean they are bad people at all, but I unfollow and unsubscribe those who bring out shame or anxiety in me. Boundaries can be a blessing.

None of this is easy. What thoughts would you add?

 

 

5 Practices to Combat Yard-sticking, Part 1

February 12, 2018 /

99% of the time I love being a cheerleader! It’s easy for me to get excited about the contributions others are making to the kingdom.

I marvel at those who have gifts that I don’t.

Like anything having to do with math. Or spreadsheets. Or budgets. A poker face. Technology. Patience. The ability to not speak every word that comes to mind.

But then there are other moments.

Especially with folks who have similar gifts and talents to mine, I find myself doing what psychologists call “yard-sticking” – the act of comparing yourself to others, particularly people in your own peer group, in a manner that results in feelings of inadequacy or jealousy.

And let me just say, I know you. I’m not alone. There are certain people who, when you hear someone rave about them, or see them on social media being all shiny and successful with “perfect kids” or a “perfect job”, it triggers something sad and hurtful inside you.  You feel diminished. Discounted. And that is not from Jesus.

Clearly, this is not something I’ve mastered, but there are 5 practices that have been helpful to me. I’ll share the first 3 today:

Continue reading

Use Your Words

April 27, 2017 /

We make a lot of runs to our Twin Cities airport, so I’m used to passing the sign that says:

This is a caution…a warning we’re all familiar with since 9/11.

If you see something suspicious, say something and keep us all safe, right? Speak up!

“Use your words.” as we say to toddlers.

But I thought of that sign yesterday as I was leaving Starbucks. The barista paid me a compliment and I was beaming.

He didn’t need to say anything, and it cost him nothing. It made my day.

I thought of all the times I see someone wearing a top I think is cute, or I observe a teen being kind and polite, or a mom being uber patient with her littles… I want to be the person who always speaks up.  The one who says something positive to a stranger or a friend.

I heard a wonderful story the other day about Mohamed Sanu, an Atlanta Falcons football player who received this note from someone who took the time to speak up –  a family sitting behind him on a flight:

This family used their words to affirm someone they would never see again.

Life is hard. There is so much to discourage us out there, right? Let’s use our words to be each other’s best cheerleaders!

If you see something (positive), say something today.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thes. 5:11

One Prompt and Three Ways to Become More Like Jesus

May 10, 2016 /

I really hate the term “spiritual discipline”.

To me it sounds legalistic and rigid and joy-less and not very Jesus-y. Which is ironic, because “spiritual discipline” is about becoming more like Jesus.

Though I don’t like the term, I love the reality that there are little experiments and experiences, prayers and practices and prompts that we can use to help us become more loving. I’m grateful that God is at work transforming us in our everydayness when we pay attention.

Since 9/11 this is a common sign to see around airports or subways.

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I’ve been thinking…What if we use this as a prompt to help us become more like Jesus?

Jesus was a noticer. He looked people in the eye. He saw, He affirmed, He named what was wrong, He questioned.

So how about… 

  1. If you see something positive, you say something positive  When you observe someone (yes even a stranger) doing ANYTHING you admire, if you hear them affirmed in a conversation when they’re not around, use that as a prompt to say something or write a note telling them specifically what is awesome about them. Don’t let affirmation go unsaid.

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2. If you see someone overlooked, say something. A friend was sharing the other day, how she is trying to “see” the unseen – the grubby guy at the car wash, the old lady with a walker – and say something. Engage them in conversation. She sat down on a bench with an old scruffy guy and just asked him a question, so he felt seen and valued.

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3. If you see something wrong, say something is wrong. I was walking with a young woman recently who shared the pain of being shamed loudly in front friends and no one named it. No one checked in to say, “You know that thing that so-and-so said? How are you feeling?”  If you see injustice or unkindness, say something. Don’t let the elephant in the room hang around. 

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If you see something, say something. Write a note, ask a question, say “Way to go!” or “That was wrong.”

 

 

Stay Woke

November 20, 2015 /

“Stay woke” is a phrase I wasn’t familiar with until recently. Now it seems I see it everywhere I turn. It’s a phrase used by much of the African American community.  And it’s a spiritual practice I’m passionate about – that is, “Pay attention to the world around you!”

I think that “staying woke” often comes when God’s Word collides with our everyday lives. We see the Gospel being lived out and are inspired, or we are prompted by the Holy Spirit to do something unnatural to us, but common to Jesus.

This morning I thought of it as I was reading James 3:17 which is describing a Holy life.

It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings...treating each other with dignity and honor.

This was timely as God’s Word often is, since you know…He’s God and all.

Anyway, it brought to mind two recent “snapshots”.  In each instance I observe friends who “stay woke” and treat those who are often “invisible” with the dignity and honor of men and women made in God’s image. Continue reading

How to Make a Difference Today

September 3, 2014 /

I’ve been a little “off” lately.  A bit of a cranky pants.  And as I examined why, the thing that I noticed was that I’ve really been neglecting the soul rhythm of time in God’s Word.  So this morning I started on a new Bible reading plan, breathing in Genesis 1.

And two things clicked together – God’s words for me, and words for others

First, when I read… I read, pray, & meditate (RPM).  Actually it’s not usually in that order, but RPM is catchy :).

I read the passage and meditate on it.  And what I mean by meditate is that I try to pay attention to verses God quickens my spirit to, and specifically I ask “What does this passage teach me about God and about myself?”

Then I pray the passage into my life. Continue reading

Three Ways to Choose Life When You’re “Stuck”

May 30, 2014 /

This week has taken on the theme of “stuckness” so I thought I’d continue it on this One Word Friday.  

When we’re stuck, “LIFE” often seems to be a choice hiding like Waldo at a convention of clowns.  It requires determination and intention.

Again, this is not a magic formula, but here are three things I do to try to “choose life” when I’m stuck:

1.  Affirm the LIFE in others.  Write notes of encouragement and blessing, noting the value you see in others.

2.  Pray LIFE for others.  Take time to lift up others who are struggling in challenging circumstances.

3.  Practice gratitude for the LIFE around you.  I love the theory that I just read in Rhoda Janzen’s memoir, “Menonite Meets Mr. Right”.  She tells of a jar of water representing discontentment being displaced as we drop in rocks of gratitude.  The waters of discontent are forced out by the rocks of thankfulness.

What are some ways you choose life when you’re feeling stuck?  Consider posting in the comments below!

Here are just a few of the things I’m grateful for today.  I wish there was a way to waft the aroma of barbecue and lilacs and clover and to record the squeals of the kids on my block playing in their wading pool!

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Three Ways to Choose Woohoo’s

January 10, 2014 /

I shared last week that my One Word for 2014 is LIFE (as in “Choose Life!”).  

I think LIFE is a really great One Word. (Woohoo for me!) I think it’s at the root of following Jesus.  I’m not saying my One Word is better than yours!  Noooooo!  That would be soooo foolish.  Like watching a Bachelorette marathon and eating a bag of Oreos foolish.

I love all the One Word’s you’ve shared here that you are prayerfully living into this year.  (If you want in on the fun look here or here and add your Word in the comments!).  But I also think that a case can be made that whatever word you’ve chosen, it’s about choosing life – the capital “L” life that God made us for.

Ok, I know some of you are reading this in California, or Bali, or Singapore.  The palm trees are swaying and you call a day of sweet warm sun and tropical flowers “Tuesday”.  Your Word may seem easy and your burden light.  You may have a hard time relating to a picture like the one below, but it exists.  Trust me.  I know it too well. Continue reading

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