The other day I was searching for an old email with medical information John had requested when I came across a different one, saved in my “personal” email file.
I opened it, re-reading the exact words, re-experiencing the pain, and the feeling of self-righteousness in a relationship gone bad.
A couple of days later, some thoughts from Gail MacDonald about “removing what hinders” convicted me – you know…lightening your backpack of the resentment that you may be carrying around.
Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.
Hebrews 12:1
Yeah, I have forgiven the person in the email many times. Over and over when they come to mind I have said, “Lord have mercy. Bless them. Heal them. Soften their heart. Give them wisdom.”
So why have I held onto this email – the evidence of this wounding?
Do I want to relish a sense of victimhood? Feel holier than thou? Why is it important to remember the details, rehearse my arguments?
I latched onto that email like a lawyer might clutch a piece of key evidence. Perhaps I may need it later in the high court of heaven in case Jesus forgot exactly what happened, right? 🤷♀️.
Love…keeps no record of wrongs
1 Corinthians 13:5
Yes, I’ve forgiven with words over and over again, but if I can’t delete this email, I won’t truly be free of the boulder of resentment I may not be aware I’m carrying around because it’s been in my backpack for so long.
So I hit “DELETE”.
God does not treat us as our sins deserve
Psalm 103:10-12
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Is there something you’re hoarding as evidence of your pain? Is there an added step that you need to take to be free of what may be hindering you from truly forgiving someone?
