This is a little bit different type of “Soul Food” post today with some questions I’d REALLY love to hear your feedback on, so be sure to scroll to the bottom.
One of the best and worst things about leaving the church where we served for 30 years is that we attend a new and different church almost every week.
We’ve been to tiny church plants that meet in schools, and inner city worship spaces where we were the only couple with light skin. We’ve been to hipster gatherings in retrofitted industrial space, and liturgical worship in cathedrals.
We’ve seen that there is tons of room for many solid, biblical expressions of faith. The Body of Christ is amazing and there’s lots to celebrate about His work around the world! We are inspired by different creative practices we love. But we’ve also had the truth reinforced that there is no perfect church!
There is so much controversy and constructive conversation about church these days.
We read…
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:24-25
But how many of you have heard (or spoken!) statements like these:
- “I’ve been hurt by the church and I won’t go back.”
- “With 24/7 online worship, podcasts with world-class speakers, and small groups, is traditional church necessary?”
- “People in the church are hypocrites.”
- “My kids are grown. I don’t need the church to be spiritual.”
Some friends of ours have left the church they were attending and aren’t going anywhere now. When we asked them why they said, “We worked our tails off to engage and make friends, but just didn’t seem to get any response so we gave up. We couldn’t make community happen.”
So, two questions I’m thinking about today…
- Is it important to attend a brick and mortar church regularly?
- What are legitimate reasons to seek out a different church?
Recently, I’ve had several different people ask me about changing churches. It might be theological concerns, or a vague sense that the Spirit is absent, or lack of programs that meet their needs. I passed along the article I’m linking below, and also offered these thoughts:
You need to discern what you believe the biblical “non-negotiables” are, and what falls into the category of “disputable matters” (Romans 14:1) – places where you may disagree, but you understand there is room for people to land on either side of the theological spectrum. There is no perfect church where you’ll agree with everything, but if you go to church and feel like you are leaving mad, or arguing in your head with what is said each week, another faith community may be a better fit for you.
If you’re considering changing churches, this is a good read: Three Things to Consider Before Leaving Your Church
I’ve written a bunch about this in the past. You might want to check out Missing Church.
Scott Sauls makes his case for attending/being part of a church here.
And we see convicting posts about being the church, like these on Instagram.
I’m really interested in your feedback on this!
- Do you attend a brick and mortar church? If so, how regularly?
- What are your reasons for going to church or not on a given Sunday, honestly??
If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!
As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!
We recently left a church where we attended for three decades. My husband and I raised our kids there and tried to “work our tails off” as your other reader described. There wasn’t any dramatic “break up”. It just didn’t seem to be any community for us if we weren’t serving on committees and/or teaching a class. Like you and your husband we visited a wide variety of churches for about a year and have now found a group of believers to grow with. Transitional times can definitely be challenging and lonely. My heart and prayers are with you.
Thanks for sharing your experience, Laura! I’m so glad you’ve found a new faith community where you can connect and grow.
I still believe in the brick and mortar church. See and being with people living out their faith in different ways is helpful to exercise my own faith. Being in community with these people strengthens and opens my eyes of the glory of God and helps me be that to others. You cannot get that from a podcast or streamed service or message. I listen and watch them mediums as well but it supplementary to weekly worship.
My heart does go out for people, as your Insta shows for Churches hurting people, and it is so true for many people why they stop going. Without the weekly filling up the cup and my dose of cleansing and worship on Sunday, I would not be the same person in my day to day life.
Thanks for continuing to write these blogs. I know a lot of people read them but may not respond.
Thank you so much for your compassionate thoughts and encouragement Patrick! I pray your words will encourage others too.