Laura Crosby

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Soul Care for Grieving Spiritual Travelers at Advent

December 13, 2019 /

Next Thursday we are going to have a quiet, candlelit worship service here in Lucerne, specifically for people who are grieving this Christmas.

Is that you? You may have had a miscarriage, or lost a parent, spouse, or friend, and there is an empty place at the table and in your heart. You are sad and weary.

As John and I were preparing last night, we were trying to choose a couple of hymns that give voice to feelings of loss, wilderness, and promises of hope in the darkness.

I was transported back to my childhood when every year we had the tradition of gathering at my aunt and uncle’s house with relatives young and old.

After dinner at the looooong table stretched with many leaves and augmented with card tables attached, we’d move to the piano.

FullSizeRender-57

It was a loud and joyful time, but today, at least four people are missing from this picture including my brother. Maybe your pictures are missing loved ones this year too.

Now here’s the thing. I come from a musical family. We had cousins and uncles playing french horn, trumpet, trombone. My grandfather played the violin. Aunts and cousins played the piano. I think for a few years there was a flute thrown in. Maybe an oboe.

I had nothing to contribute but my barely adequate voice added to those who were able to actually, you know… harmonize. (That’s me in the middle back in holiday pigtails 🙂 )

I’m holding music for my cousin who is playing an instrument, but I didn’t need it for the lyrics. I know virtually every word of every carol in the book. (Yes, even Angels From the Realms of Glory). The Christmas lyrics are part of my faith vocabulary, because my family sang them over me, and into me, and with me.

This year there may be lyrics of celebration that are hard for you to sing. Impossible even. It’s ok. Be gentle with yourself.

A friend of mine says sometimes we sing faith words with joy and confidence.

Sometimes we sing them as a declaration of the truth we believe in spite of how we may feel.

And sometimes we just can’t sing “Joy to the World”. We’re too sad, and we let the community carry the words for us, blanketing us with hope that God is still with us. He is still good. That’s ok. Let the community carry hope for you.

Is it hard for you to sing this advent? Share in the comments.

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

One Breath Away From a Peace-filled Advent

December 9, 2019 /

I’m re-reading this post from Switzerland this morning. I edit and share it every year because every year I need it. I need to slow down and pay attention. I pray it will be helpful to you today too.

I really wish I liked Holy Yoga more. It’s healthy, and the few times I’ve gone it’s helped me reflect on Scripture.  And it’s so in.  But I’m just not good at it.

Here are the only things I like about Yoga:

  • the comfy pants that are like legal pajamas,
  • the fact that you do it in a group with great people, and not, for example on a stationary bike in your basement (like a crazy introvert),
  • the corpse pose (where you lay still with soft music playing)…

And one more thing…

They remind you to breathe.  In fact, I think that’s the only part I consistently get right when I go.  I mess up all the poses.  And I can’t make myself pretzely like my friend Brooke.

But then they say, “Don’t forget to breathe.” and I think “Yes!  I’ve got that down!  Score!” (Can you tell I’m better at competitive sports than contemplative ones?)

Sometimes the best I can do at Yoga is to just keep breathing.  Sometimes in the Christmas season it seems that way also.  You too?

Our to-to lists are too long.  We drop balls and forget to follow through with details.  And our regular spiritual practices and rhythm of time with Jesus may suffer.

But no matter what happens in the next few weeks, most (hopefully all) of us will still be breathing when we get to the New Year.

So what if breathing became a spiritual practice?  It’s one many of you are probably familiar with.  Breath prayer.

Think for a minute…What is a name for God that is especially meaningful to you this season?  

  • Abba Father
  • Gentle Shepherd
  • Wonderful Counselor
  • Prince of Peace
  • Emmanuel
  • Light of the World
  • King of Kings…

As you breathe in, silently say this name.

Then… What sums up your need or desire of your heart this season?

Peace?  Healing? Guidance? Provision? Wisdom?

Construct a short phrase that expresses this.  As you breathe out, pray this phrase.

For a long time, I felt out of control in many areas of my life, so my breath prayer was, “Abba Father” (as I breathe in).  “Do what only You can do.” (as I breathe out).

You might pray something like Mary did “Holy One, be magnified in my life.”  (Luke 2:46-55).

Or, “Prince of Peace, calm my anxious heart.”

Or, “Light of the World, illuminate my darkness.”

In heavy traffic.  Breathe.  

In crowded stores.  Breathe.

In tense family situations.  Breathe.

Sitting in front of your Christmas tree. Breathe.

On a walk alone.  Breathe.

Breathe in.  Breathe out.

Breathe deep. Lean hard. God’s love holds.

Just.  Keep.  Breathing.

Share your breath prayer in the comments?

Soul Food for Advent

December 5, 2019 /

Monday morning I sat in my Starbucks in Minneapolis one last time, and today (Wednesday) this is where I’m sitting with my coffee in Luzern.

John and I are serving as short-term interim co-pastors at the international church here. A pastor had to leave suddenly (thankfully everything is ok) and we were able to put some stuff on hold and jump in quickly . We are loving this new adventure in a beautiful city with a wonderful church community! If you want to follow along, I’m posting on Instagram and Instagram stories. There is no snow yet and probably won’t be until maybe January. The climate is more like London, but we are surrounded by mountains.

We’re fighting jet-lag and trying to remember what day it is. We are so so grateful for new friends from this faith community who have greeted us with such incredible grace and hospitality!

When our luggage didn’t arrive, they delivered jammies and underwear! Candles were lit when we walked in the door, and our apartment is stocked with everything we could possibly need!

One of the passages that God has spoken to me about this season in Switzerland that also ties into my post last week on being where your feet are, is this from Jeremiah to the Israelites when they were in exile:

Build houses and make yourselves at home.

Put in gardens and eat what grows in that country.

Make yourselves at home there and work for the country’s welfare.

Jeremiah 29:5,7

In other words, invest and seek God where you are!

Advent has already started, so I’m going to post this gathering of resources early instead of waiting til Friday. Enjoy! And let me know in the comments what you’re doing to make the season meaningful!

For a delightful Advent podcast, check out Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership.

I had the privilege of participating in two years of retreats with The Transforming Community. If you have a ministry leader on your gift list I highly recommend Ruth Hayley Barton’s book, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry. Ruth uses the life of Moses to draw out principles that guard your soul.

For many, the holidays are very difficult. Here are a couple of really good articles and a good reminder that might make you smile:

When Grief Looms Heavy over the Holidays

Facing the Darkness

Also, check out The Best Holiday Music Playlist Ever . This is so great – has categories for every mood or occasion!

And some inspiration from Instagram…

Ann Voskamp
Bob Goff

That’s it for now! Have a great weekend and let me know what’s going on with you in the comments!

When Sacred Rituals Become Empty Routines

December 2, 2019 /

It was a quintessential November morning – steely skies hanging over bare branched trees and brown fields resting for the winter. John and I started out driving east towards Wisconsin on 494, heading to my hometown in the suburbs of Chicago for Thanksgiving.

I was happily zipping along when suddenly I had to swerve to keep the car on the correct route. I had automatically prepared to get off on Rt. 5 – the road that leads to the airport because I drive there so much.

I was on auto-pilot. Not paying attention.

Think of all the things you do mindlessly out of habit. Maybe some of those routines have to do with your relationship with Jesus.

For thirty years John and I knew exactly what to expect at church.

We knew the words to the songs. The way to do communion. The rhythm of the service. It was comfortable. Familiar as my favorite tattered sweatshirt.

But there has been an advantage to not being committed to ministry at one specific church for the past year.

As we’ve attended over 20 churches, often we haven’t known the words or how to do communion, or if people raise their hands, or kneel or audibly say “Amen!” during the sermon.

There have been different styles of worship, and different environments for gathering – stained glass windows and schools and office buildings. It’s often been uncomfortable, but stretching in a healthy way.

I show up expectantly. Listen more intently to God’s Word. See with fresh eyes. Have my assumptions challenged.

A study has been done that says we stop thinking about the lyrics of songs after singing them thirty times. The familiar can be the enemy of spiritual growth.

John and I used to remind each other: “There is nothing so dangerous as the habitual handling of holy things.”

Mark Batterson writes,

“If we aren’t careful, we aren’t really worshiping God; we’re just lip-synching.”

Being shaken up in our expressions of worship, has made me think about how shaking up other spiritual routines might be a good thing.

  • If you don’t usually kneel when you pray, try it.
  • Listen to a new worship song.
  • If you read a set devotional, try just reading and reflecting on God’s character in a passage of Scripture instead.
  • Or try walking and listening to Pray as You Go app.
  • Experiment with bullet journalling.
  • Maybe you do the same thing every Advent and it’s time to try something new to open your eyes to the wonder of Jesus in a fresh way.

What would you add? Share in the comments!

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

Being Where Your Feet Are

November 26, 2019 /

Recently I was shopping in my favorite store, looking for a cozy top for Minnesota where it’s currently 18 degrees. The young sales girl who was helping me had heard that I’m in ministry, and shared that she and her pastor husband moved to the Twin Cities about 6 months ago from L.A.

She said that although they trust God’s plan, they are anxious to move back to L.A. next year (or as soon as possible). They don’t like it here! Can you even???

I just listened and empathized with how hard change and moving to a new community is, but after I left, I got to wondering if maybe I should have said more.

I remember when we moved cross country, away from home – me 8 months pregnant with our second child. We moved from the kindly homegrown midwest we had always known, to fast-paced, status-driven, political, transient Washington D.C. It was hard and lonely but honestly the most spiritually formative time of our life.

In the thick of things, I cried a LOT and every day I got on my knees and prayed that God would help me to be fully there (until He saw fit to graciously spring us from that purgatory :))

I think of Moses when he ran away after killing the Egyptian. He tried to take charge of a situation, but messed up, ran to the desert and tended sheep. Got married. Spent time in silence and solitude. Did he long to get out of there? Did he feel like he was waiting but didn’t know for what? Did he ever feel like “This is NOT where I belong!”?

The 40 years he was in the desert waiting, maybe he was learning humility, perseverance, faithfulness. How much was Moses totally present, with God, daily in order to learn these things?

https://www.instagram.com/thepracticeco/

It’s tempting to lean forward, to focus on

  • when the kids start school
  • when I get the job
  • when I get married
  • when we’ll “get there”, wherever “there” is that we long for.

But I don’t want to be so focused on the future, that I miss what God has to show me today.

We love a coffee shop in Naples, Florida, called Kunjani. They have a t-shirt that has been a great reminder to me. It says, “Be where your feet are.”

Did Moses have to work hard to be where his feet were in the desert? I do! Even when I’m not in a desert!

Maybe start with a prayer, “Lord, what do You have to teach me about Yourself and myself today? Here and now. Help me to be present and pay attention.”

Would you share where your feet are today in the comments please?

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

Soul Food, Thanksgiving, and Black Friday

November 21, 2019 /

Most Fridays I try to post some images, resources, and thoughts around a relevant topic. I call it “Soul food”, but it may include things that feed our heart, mind, and body, as well as soul. Whatever is beautiful, funny, true, helpful…I try to make it all things life-giving.

This week in the U.S. we’re looking forward to Thanksgiving, and either looking forward to, or dreading Black Friday, so here are a few resources.

via GIPHY

Even the healthiest families can encounter challenges when everyone is thrown together. If you want a little help, check out this post on 5 Questions to Save Your Holidays from Family Drama

I saw this idea at a Starbucks in California, and had been meaning to copy it. Then Tsh Oxenreider posted it beautifully on Instagram!

She bought an extra pumpkin for November and every day her family tries to write something they’re thankful for on it. Fun Thanksgiving centerpiece too!

There are some great suggestions here for winning at Thanksgiving (except the suggestion to rent stuff – I can’t see doing that, but maybe it’s just me).

In past years I’ve made the commitment to not go into malls after Thanksgiving, but these days that’s not a challenge. Online shopping makes for a kinder, gentler holiday season and God bless us, everyone. Still, there is the random Target and grocery run, so I thought some of the following might help us to laugh at ourselves a little.

Can you find yourself? (I’m a 7)
This is just so true I can’t even stand it!

via GIPHY

I’m grateful for each of you! Happy Thanksgiving!

Your turn! What are some fun Thanksgiving hacks, meaningful practices, or soulful insights you can share with us in the comments?

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

2 Things to Control When You Feel Out of Control

November 18, 2019 /

He [Abraham] did not know where he was going.

hebrews 11:8

I don’t know about you, but I ALWAYS want to know where I’m going! I want to know the PLAN, and (if I’m honest) I want CONTROL over the plan!

But often I’m dealing with “out of control”.

Recently I was with a group of friends sharing prayer concerns that felt out of control.

  • One has a husband in a toxic job and financial stress.
  • Another is struggling with a young child’s behavior.
  • A third has in-law tensions.
  • One is dealing with health issues, and another has a college student struggling with anxiety.
  • Me? I continue to feel like I’m being tossed around by a leaf-blower with no place to land for any length of time.

These are all situations where we feel out of control – praying and waiting and wanting to DO SOMETHING TO FIX IT! Can you relate? What’s your “out of control”?

If it’s any comfort, we’re not alone. The Bible is filled with out-of-control people who can’t fix their stuff on their own (think Sarah who’s barren, Moses chased by Egyptians, Hagar outcast, Mary a pregnant virgin…), and maybe out of control is the best place to be.

Maybe it’s good to know we will fail without divine intervention! Maybe we’re always there to a degree, but we just don’t realize it. And when we do, it’s an opportunity to lean in and experience God’s sufficiency.

You do your part. You pray. You wait expectantly. But what can you control while you’re waiting?

  1. Your tongue. By this I mean, now is the time to be ruthlessly honest. Show up authentically with God and pour out your heart. (check out Psalm 6)

Tell Him how hard this is, but also recite what you are counting on to be true about Him. Remind Him and yourself that He will never leave you, He is able to do immeasurably more than you ask or imagine, He is all powerful, His timing is perfect…

When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you…

psalm42:6 Msg

Just this morning I received an email that hit me hard and brought me to tears. A door that I thought was clearly open, was shut. I journaled about it, saying it felt like a game of cat and mouse. I was honest about my disappointment, but then I went back to the verses that the Lord gave me in a similar time of disappointment.

This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? … [No!] So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?

matthew 7:9-11

I’ve combined a couple of thoughts from Lysa TerKeurst and Craig Groeschel and made them a mantra:

God is good.

God is good to me.

God is good at being God.

I don’t sit where He sits.

I don’t see what He sees.

I don’t know what He knows.

God loves me beyond what I can understand.

2. Your ears. Who and what are you listening to? Sarah Bessey uses the phrase “Guard your gates”. Imagine there is a gate protecting your mind. You get to decide what you open it to. If you guard your gates, then nothing will come into your mind and heart that you don’t want in there.

Consider turning off any t.v. show, radio station, podcast, or social media that draws your heart away from God and weakens your faith.

We can also share with friends who will help bear our burdens, and listen to wise godly counselors who will encourage us in our waiting. Might you share the “out of control” you’re trusting God for in the comments so we can pray for each other?

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

Soul Food and Church

November 14, 2019 /

This is a little bit different type of “Soul Food” post today with some questions I’d REALLY love to hear your feedback on, so be sure to scroll to the bottom.

One of the best and worst things about leaving the church where we served for 30 years is that we attend a new and different church almost every week.

We’ve been to tiny church plants that meet in schools, and inner city worship spaces where we were the only couple with light skin. We’ve been to hipster gatherings in retrofitted industrial space, and liturgical worship in cathedrals.

We’ve seen that there is tons of room for many solid, biblical expressions of faith. The Body of Christ is amazing and there’s lots to celebrate about His work around the world! We are inspired by different creative practices we love. But we’ve also had the truth reinforced that there is no perfect church!

There is so much controversy and constructive conversation about church these days.

We read…

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:24-25

But how many of you have heard (or spoken!) statements like these:

  • “I’ve been hurt by the church and I won’t go back.”
  • “With 24/7 online worship, podcasts with world-class speakers, and small groups, is traditional church necessary?”
  • “People in the church are hypocrites.”
  • “My kids are grown. I don’t need the church to be spiritual.”

Some friends of ours have left the church they were attending and aren’t going anywhere now. When we asked them why they said, “We worked our tails off to engage and make friends, but just didn’t seem to get any response so we gave up. We couldn’t make community happen.”

So, two questions I’m thinking about today…

  1. Is it important to attend a brick and mortar church regularly?
  2. What are legitimate reasons to seek out a different church?

Recently, I’ve had several different people ask me about changing churches. It might be theological concerns, or a vague sense that the Spirit is absent, or lack of programs that meet their needs. I passed along the article I’m linking below, and also offered these thoughts:

You need to discern what you believe the biblical “non-negotiables” are, and what falls into the category of “disputable matters” (Romans 14:1) – places where you may disagree, but you understand there is room for people to land on either side of the theological spectrum. There is no perfect church where you’ll agree with everything, but if you go to church and feel like you are leaving mad, or arguing in your head with what is said each week, another faith community may be a better fit for you.

If you’re considering changing churches, this is a good read: Three Things to Consider Before Leaving Your Church

I’ve written a bunch about this in the past. You might want to check out Missing Church.

Scott Sauls makes his case for attending/being part of a church here.

And we see convicting posts about being the church, like these on Instagram.

I’m really interested in your feedback on this!

  • Do you attend a brick and mortar church? If so, how regularly?
  • What are your reasons for going to church or not on a given Sunday, honestly??

If you receive this in an email, just click on the title and then scroll down on the post to leave a comment. If it’s your first time, it will not appear right away, but don’t worry! It will soon!

As always, I’d love to have you join me over on Instagram! It’s my favorite place for small doses of joy and inspiration!

Showing up With Lunch

November 11, 2019 /

I look around the practically empty German airport terminal at zero dark thirty and pray. Due to a storm, I’ve missed my connection to Zurich, on my way to study at L’Abri in Switzerland. I have no local currency and no good options. It’s in the years before Venmo, before ubiquitous credit card acceptance, and before cash machines. Yes, I’m old. Get over it.

Anyway, I know one person in the entire country. He’s a young pastor, studying for his doctorate. He and his wife live about an hour from Frankfurt. Nervously, I call him collect and without missing a beat, he says, “Stay put. I’m coming to get you.”

When we arrive at his tiny, one bedroom apartment, they already have another young guest bunking with them. They make room for me where there is no room.

The next morning, my friend takes the little he has and shares it with me. He makes me two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on thick, soft slices of homemade bread, puts them in a brown paper bag and drives me to the train station to continue my journey. That brown paper lunch bag has stayed with me as a powerful image of hospitality. God takes our not enough and makes it more than enough.

In the Bible, we see the widow of Zarephath (the least and left behind) with only a handful of flour and a little oil – not enough. But God makes it more than enough to feed both her and the prophet Elijah lunch for days. (1 Kings 17)

There is David, overlooked shepherd boy, told by his dad to be a gofer and take lunch to his brothers – the “important ones” on the battlefield, which positions him to be used by God to show His more than enough power to defeat Goliath. (1 Samuel 17:17ff)

There is the little boy (not even counted as one of the 5,000) who shows up with his lunch, offered as a gift that Jesus doesn’t reject as inadequate, but instead makes more than enough to feed everyone with leftovers! (John 6:1-14)

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have today, what can you offer God that He will lovingly accept and make more than enough to bless others?

My 91 year old aunt shows up with a heart to faithfully pray for others.

My friend Cathy showed up with a car to transport a homeless teen to work.

A kingdom-minded couple we know show up and offer their lake home to be used for ministry retreats.

My friend Heather, shows up with her magical talent for growing and arranging flowers and blesses others through the “Growing Kindness Project”, leaving bouquets to brighten someone’s day.

So often we focus on our “not enough”, when God wants to take what we offer Him and make it “more than enough”. We may not see the results right away, but I believe God will receive our offering with joy.

What “lunch” do you have to offer that feels inadequate? Share in comments and then look for opportunities to let God make it more than enough.

Soul Food with a Helping of Gratitude

October 31, 2019 /

It’s November! And with it comes Thanksgiving – the holiday many people say is their favorite because it’s simple. Family, football, a festive feast day, and no frenetic search for the perfect gifts.

No, it’s not great for everyone, I know. I don’t want to diminish the pain of those who are going through this holiday for the first time with someone missing from their table, or are in the midst of circumstances that are very difficult. Be gentle with yourself. Tell your people what you need. Maybe go back and read this post on a “sacrifice of praise” from a few years ago.

Some of us might need a little perspective shift. You may want to check out this post on what Thanksgiving looks like from where someone else is sitting.

If you want some prompts to help you keep a focus on gratitude this month, here you go!

  1. Write a note to someone you’re grateful for.
  2. Host a Friendsgiving gathering.
  3. Post a picture of one place you’re grateful for.
  4. Post a verse or quote on gratitude that is meaningful to you.
  5. Bake goodies and deliver as a thank you to people who don’t usually get recognized – like the janitor at your kids’ school.
  6. Give a shout out to a favorite Instagram feed and why you appreciate it. Share one of their pictures.
  7. What’s a favorite comfort food you’re thankful for? Make and invite someone to share.
  8. Share a Thanksgiving story with pictures.
  9. What helps create a comforting atmosphere that you’re grateful for?
  10. Post a picture of family members you’re grateful for.

I’ll be posting my responses to these on Instagram and I’d LOVE to see you do it too! Just use the hashtag #everydaygraces (Did you know you can follow hashtags? You can, and I will be following!)

You guys who know me, know that one of the things I LOVE is meaningful questions around the table! Here’s a fun resource I like that you might consider for Thanksgiving dinner! It’s called “Untie Your Story” – questions on cloth you cut apart and tie around the napkins at your table.

Some fun Instagram posts for the day after Halloween…

Gotta love Letterfolk!

Happy Weekending friends!

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