Laura Crosby

Page 82 of 99

When You See it and When You Don’t

November 21, 2012 /

Our daughter Maggie got engaged last weekend.

We exclaim, “Oh, yes!”  We can clearly see God’s faithfulness, His provision, His plan.  And we sing, like it’s New Year’s Eve, with confetti and streamers and hugs

“Great is Thy faithfulness O God our Father.”

Two new babies were born to friends this week.  And we sing

“Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not.”

A delightful surprise package of gifts appeared on our back step.

“Blessings all mine and ten thousand besides.”

A dear friend was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer.  And it’s hard to see, but we try to sing

“Strength for today…”

The homeless guys still show up on our corner every day, and we have loved ones who are still prodigals, and others who are single, or childless and don’t want to be.  We want to sing a lovely future into their lives.

 “and bright hope for tomorrow.”

Israelis and Palestinians are killing each other.  Our voices waver a bit…

“Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth.”

Years ago we took the girls on a family vacation to Colorado.  They were little and excited.  It was the first time they would see the mountains.

But Maggie couldn’t.  She kept saying, “I.  Do.  Not.  See. Them!”

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A Near Death Experience

November 19, 2012 /

There’s a prerequisite for heaven.  It’s called death.

You remember that line from the movie, Princess Bride?  “There’s dead and then there’s mostly dead.”

The other day I realized I was only mostly dead.  Or even less than that.  Maybe just a smidge dead.

But I wanted to be SEEN as totally dead.  Dead to self.  To selfishness.  To self-centeredness.

Several times in the course of two days I gave time and effort and gave up comfort to go out of my way and serve someone.

And you know what?  It didn’t seem to matter at all.  No one said “thanks”, much less threw a parade.

The kid I tutor was rude and uncooperative.  The meal I made for someone didn’t fit their dietary restrictions.  And, and, and…

And my bratty 13-year-old self, wanted a high five or at least a little “Woohoo!” from Jesus.  And by that I mean from everyone around me.

The main person I really wanted to serve was myself.

I wanted the image of serving others, and the perk of being noticed and admired.

I wanted it to look like I had a shiny outside but my inside was pretty gross…maggoty in fact.

Have you ever recognized this in yourself?  Maybe once?

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What do you Want Your Title to Be?

November 14, 2012 /

Do you have a job title?

Eight years ago I was serving on a church staff and we were having fun trying to come up with creative job titles for each of us.  This was prompted by a series of articles in Fast Company on “Job titles of the Future”.

Some of my favorites were…

Head Monster,

Crayon Evangelist,

Master of Disaster,

Project Meanie,

Princess of Persuasion,

Keeper of the Magic.

And this one really made me smile:

Raging Inexorable Thunder-Lizard Evangelist for Change

(I may actually have met this guy  in Puerto Rico this morning where we’re staying for a meeting)

Anyway, I myself was lobbying for the title, Chief Kingdom Mischief-Maker.

And I know a guy who is both a pastor and a dance instructor.  Pastor Twinkle Toes?

Our most important “title” is Beloved Child of God, but I’ve been thinking…what other titles might God want us to live into?

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Trading Places

November 12, 2012 /

Sometimes I’m just in the wrong place.

I walk into Starbucks in the dark of the very early morning before dawn and drop my books and computer in “my” place – the table the baristas say they’re going to put a plaque on with my name in case anyone should arrive before me and not know that it’s “mine”.  My guy Cory’s been known to tackle customers with their eye on my spot.

I sit for a minute and resist the urge to open my computer immediately.  I try to feel what I’m feeling…Anxiety, butterflies, stress…fear??  Yes, fear.

Fear of failure.  Of not adding value.  Not producing.  Ugh.

And then I come across this, scribbled in a notebook I keep in my purse.

Yep.  I have FPSD.  FearPrideSuccessDisorder.  You too?

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What Inspired me This Election

November 10, 2012 /

I’m no Pollyanna.

I can be as critical and cynical and passionate about my position as the next guy.

I can’t bear to watch Nancy Grace, and I’m super concerned about the financial cliff, and I yell at the t.v. when Republicans and Democrats alike seem much more concerned about re-election than cooperating with each other for the good of America.

I’m an independent voter and an equal opportunity offender.

But on election day this week I was in the Middle East, and John was in London with a board made up of people from all over the world, and very little of political pettiness mattered.

There is so much oppression and lack of freedom in Israel/Palestine that I was particularly moved being away from my home where people were exercising a right to vote that we can take for granted.  Like we take having peanut butter in our cupboard for granted.

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The Truest Thing I’m Learning about Peace, part 2

November 4, 2012 /

Some things are just tough.

Like figuring out why people are fascinated with Snooki, or how to fold fitted sheets, or what makes some people able to eat 316 Trader Joe’s dark chocolate covered almonds with sea salt and not gain a pound.

Or, you know…how to achieve peace between everyone everywhere.

When it comes to the Middle East I keep wanting to say, “Lord I’m a bear of Very Little Brain” like Winnie the Pooh.

I have a long way to go, but God is patient and often a theme gradually emerges.  Yesterday I wrote

The truest thing I’m learning about peace is that keeping people at a distance makes it easy to demonize them.

But coming close topples the walls of misunderstanding.

This morning God reinforced this as I re-read the story of when God comes close to Hagar.

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The Truest thing I’m Learning About Peace, part 1

November 2, 2012 /

Last week I was driving around running errands, preparing for our daughters to arrive for a visit and for me to leave for Israel/Palestine.  I changed into the left lane to zip ahead of an old blue-green mini station wagon.  As I accelerated past I noticed the car was significantly bashed in as if from an accident.  A man was driving the car, smoking a cigarette and talking on his cell phone.

Confession.  Here are the three thoughts that went through my head:  This guy is irresponsible, unsafe, and makes unhealthy choices.

All that from a 3 second glance in traffic!

If I had gotten close and talked to him I might have learned that he was on the phone with his pregnant wife who just went into labor.

And maybe it wasn’t a cigarette, but a tootsie pop in his mouth.

Perhaps he had been rear-ended by someone texting and driving, and he didn’t have the money to fix his car because he had lost his job in the recession.

Getting close might have given me a more compassionate posture towards this guy.

I have thought often of this 3 second drive by during my time here in Israel/Palestine.

We know from the constant stream of words on the news that there is division and violence, and passionate feelings of injustice among Israelis, Palestinians, Jews, Christians, Muslims…But it’s hard to sort out the complicated details, so if you’re like me, you often tune out.  It’s just too much.

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Connecting the Dots in Israel

October 31, 2012 /

Sometimes I imagine our crazy-loving God must decide He needs to get creative in helping us connect the dots and give us a glimpse of His heart.  That’s how I felt today.

First a little background…

I’m traveling this week with a group of women in Israel/Palestine.   I saw the Holy sites  years ago, but last March when I came, I was like a cartoon character running headlong into this wall that is a concrete (literally! :)) picture of this land and how people feel.

Divided.

Now I’m back to learn more, listen more, make more new friends.

Palestinian.  Israeli.  Muslim.  Jew.  Christian.

People divided.

We’re pro-everyone, praying to absorb all that we can of the heart of God towards His people.  Praying to bring His Spirit of peace and grace into every conversation.

So today I think God got a gleam in His eye and started connecting the dots for us by reminding us of another time He connected the dots for clueless, but well meaning disciples like us.

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Trick or Treat

October 30, 2012 /

Today I am traveling in Israel and the Palestinian territories with a group of women desiring to listen deeply and learn.  To be present to God and to each person we meet.  I’ll be posting about our time here, but today I’m trying to absorb and process.

So as we approach Halloween, I decided to edit a post from last year.  I’m grateful many new folks have found this blog over the past 12 months and I pray God uses this to encourage you today.

I think that Halloween is my husband’s favorite day of the year.  Odd, I know for a pastor.  The pc answer should be Easter,right?

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On Stopping and More Tortillas

October 24, 2012 /

I stopped and talked to the homeless guy yesterday.

Yeah, that guy I’ve written about before. Ever present.  With the sign.

I drove up the ramp off the highway and the light was green so I didn’t have to stop and sit in the car next to him and his sign that reminds me he’s hungry and homeless while I wait.

I didn’t have to stare straight ahead, pretending I didn’t notice him.

The light was green.

The light said “go”

But I sensed the Spirit saying, “Stop.”

Ugggghhh.  I had a 23 second argument with God.

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