Laura Crosby

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5 Questions About…

June 11, 2014 /

Do you have a nickname?  It’s not a nickname exactly, but in our family, and with my close friends, I’m known as “Idea Woman”.

I’ve shared before that husband John says the first line of the 4 Spiritual Laws should really read: God loves you and LAURA has a wonderful plan for your life!

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So, I’ll admit that there are people who see me coming with that “IDEA gleam” in my eye and are tempted to run away.

The other thing I’m accused of is grilling asking a lot of questions of people I meet.  Frankly, besides wanting to be a spy, I also want to be Katie Couric (and yes, look like her too).

All that to say, I’m really excited about an idea I had for a new blog series called “5 Questions About….”  I have so many incredibly talented friends that I thought, what if I send some of them 5 questions about different topics that they have great insights on?

So, one day weekly til l run out of friends or topics, we’ll be doing 5 Questions About… Leadership, Hospitality, Singleness, God’s plans, Mentoring, Risk, etc.  (I’ll alternate these with One Word posts.)

“An expert is someone who knows some of the worst mistakes that can be made in his subject, and how to avoid them.” Werner Heisenberg

Everyone is an expert at something.  Who is someone with a gift or a skill you’d like to learn from?  Give them a call today and set up a time for coffee.  You might say, “I really admire your understanding of ________ and I’d love to learn from you.  Could we spend an hour together?”  Everyone likes to share their knowledge and experience!

There’s so much we can learn from each other!

Proverbs 23:12 says, Give yourselves to disciplined instruction; open your ears to tested knowledge.

What’s a topic you’d like to ask 5 questions about?  

 

3 Insights from my Reader Survey and Why it Might Matter to You

June 9, 2014 /

Two and a half years ago I prayed about God’s direction for a new season, and He used the story of Elijah and the widow to prompt me to use my “flour and oil” – my tiny bit that He would make enough.

Specifically, this blog.  I said, “Ok, I’ll try to show up with my flour and oil if You’ll show up with Your Spirit.”  It is no holy-moley exaggeration to say that it’s been a stretching experience of dependence on Him for weekly words.  Any value here is Him graciously using me.  Last week, for the first time I did a survey to see how you feel it’s going.

People in “real” jobs get a pay check and a yearly review.  Students get grades and diplomas.   We all grow by evaluating – setting goals and checking to see where we’re hitting the mark and where we need to recalibrate.  Other than praying and trusting God, discerning progress and value on a blog is hard.

I know surveys can be a pain, so I want to say a HUGE “Thank you!” to the many readers who took the time to give feedback!  I sooooo appreciate it!!  It was informative and encouraging!  Often I write and post and it feels like my words are flying out into a vast cosmic void.  This survey assured me that there are actual PEOPLE reading and being encouraged by these posts God graciously gives me.  It was so great getting to KNOW you a little bit through your responses!

Three things I learned from the survey: Continue reading

4 Things to do When You’re Afraid of Snakes or Technology or…

June 6, 2014 /

Last year my One Word was Fearless.  Even if it wasn’t your “word”, it clearly struck a cord with many of you.

I’d really like to say, “Fear shmear!  Puh-lease!  We’ve dealt with you and we’re so done!  Shaking the fear dust off our feet!  Moving on!”

Unfortunately, like bad hair days and weeds, it can keep showing up.  What’s a current fear of yours?   Is it a risk in business?  A parenting decision?  A move or change? 

Recently as daughter Maggie was getting ready to head to northern Uganda she was researching snakes – a phobia we both share.

She texted me asking if I thought mace would deter a Black Mamba.  I said I thought it might just make him angrier.  Her husband, Austin did research and assured her that she’d have 20 minutes to find an antidote (in the middle of nowhere) before she died.  And then this:IMG_7102

So, she’s got that advice in her hip pocket.

But a fear of mine, not as dramatic as snakes, has been plaguing me recently – fear of technology.

Laura to technology is like the Cubs to baseball.  #Fail.  And I HATE making mistakes!

Recently it was creating and trying to figure out how to embed a survey that loomed large.  Now on the other side of it, I am trying to reflect on what I’m learning about facing fears, especially when I feel inadequate.  Here are a few of my learnings.  I’d love to hear yours!

1.  Study.  Like Maggie googling snakes in Africa, the more I can learn about something the better off I’ll be.  Frankly that’s a pain with technology because I’d prefer to have someone sit down and show me, but instead I had to google tutorials.  Still, it paid off.  Knowledge is power.  Or a tiny bit of courage.

2.  Ask, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?”  For me the worst that could happen did.  A wrong button was hit and those of you who subscribe received an empty post.  How humiliating!  (Again, I HATE appearing incompetent).  But was it as catastrophic as the apocalypse? No.  You guys are a forgiving lot and I dusted myself off and tried again.

3. Identify the benefits of failure.   Often the fear is worse than the thing itself.  There can be huge growth, relief, and pride on the other side of walking through our fears, even if temporary failure is part of the deal.

I don’t just fear technology, I basically hate it.  It’s detail-y and scienc-y and science is close to math and we all know I don’t do math, so it takes a tremendous amount of discipline to MAKE myself do any projects involving technology.  But that discipline pays off in learning new skills, and diminished fear for the future.

4.  Pray.  (You figure I had to put that one in, eh?).  Honestly my prayers regarding my fears are usually an inarticulate “Helpmehelpmehelpme!”.  I’m learning I’m better off if I pray scripture – either paying attention and praying for the character qualities of those in the Bible who face their fears – like Daniel, Joseph, and Nehemiah, or claiming God’s promises of His presence and guidance.

So, what’s a current fear of yours?  What are you learning?  

 

 

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

June 4, 2014 /

First of all, a huge “Thank you!” to all of you who took the time to fill out the survey this week!  I really appreciate it and look forward to learning more about you and how I can improve.  Today’s title implies that the post is just about marriage, but I think every living being deals with this issue…

On July 30th, husband John and I will be celebrating our 31st anniversary.  That’s a long time.  Longer than the Internet or Chicken McNuggets have been around.  A lot longer than Kim Kardashian’s three marriages put together.  A. Long. Time.photo-127

He puts up with me waking him in the middle of the night to talk about “things”, and I try to take his unusual compliments in the spirit they are given. Like when he says I look autumnal, or compares me to yogurt, or says being with me is as good as being alone.  What can I say?  Our marriage works.

However, like in any healthy relationship between two beloved riff-raffs, we still have issues.  Well, one issue.  One very specific issue. Continue reading

“I have a certain set of skills”

June 2, 2014 /

Along with Liam Neeson in Taken, I can say, “I have a certain set of skills.”  Unfortunately, anything technological is not included in that set of skills.

I am proud of myself for facing my fears and incompetency in this area and persevering in figuring out stuff, but it’s an uphill climb!  All that to say, I’ve been trying to publish a post with a survey included, and the tech gremlins have been conspiring to undermine my efforts.

I published the post yesterday, but somehow it didn’t go out to subscribers.  Soooo, let’s try this.  Please click here: Ten Questions that Will Change Your Life , take the survey, and then pray that for the love of sweet baby Jesus I don’t smash my computer.

Thanks for your patience!

Laura

10 Questions That Will Change Your Life

June 1, 2014 /

photo 2Ok, maybe that title might be a tad of an over-statement, but I really wanted to get your attention.  I started this blog 2 1/2 years ago with the goal of helping people pay attention to the relationships, experiences, and practices God uses to form us.

One of my goals this year is to improve.  To write more engaging, relevant, valuable posts that will make you smile or ponder or respond.  Well, that kind of thing is a little hard to measure!  One thing that would be SUPER helpful is if you would take a second (ok, maybe 2 minutes) to fill out this survey for me.

I asked John if I should include an incentive (like free money) to get more of you to respond, but he pointed out that I have no money, so I’m just banking on your good will and desire to help me get better. 🙂  My goal is to get over 300 responses.  Pleeeeease take 2 minutes right now and help a sister out.

Click here > 10 Questions Survey

 

Three Ways to Choose Life When You’re “Stuck”

May 30, 2014 /

This week has taken on the theme of “stuckness” so I thought I’d continue it on this One Word Friday.  

When we’re stuck, “LIFE” often seems to be a choice hiding like Waldo at a convention of clowns.  It requires determination and intention.

Again, this is not a magic formula, but here are three things I do to try to “choose life” when I’m stuck:

1.  Affirm the LIFE in others.  Write notes of encouragement and blessing, noting the value you see in others.

2.  Pray LIFE for others.  Take time to lift up others who are struggling in challenging circumstances.

3.  Practice gratitude for the LIFE around you.  I love the theory that I just read in Rhoda Janzen’s memoir, “Menonite Meets Mr. Right”.  She tells of a jar of water representing discontentment being displaced as we drop in rocks of gratitude.  The waters of discontent are forced out by the rocks of thankfulness.

What are some ways you choose life when you’re feeling stuck?  Consider posting in the comments below!

Here are just a few of the things I’m grateful for today.  I wish there was a way to waft the aroma of barbecue and lilacs and clover and to record the squeals of the kids on my block playing in their wading pool!

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What to do When You’re Stuck, part 2

May 29, 2014 /

Tuesday (yes, I’m a little off schedule with the holiday weekend) I wrote about the universal experience of feeling stuck from time to time.  For a week, or a month, or maybe you feel like you’re living a “stuck” life.

I shared some things I’ve been learning and trying to apply from Nehemiah who never acted without praying, and never prayed without acting.  Like peanut butter and jelly, prayer and action were inseparable in Nehemiah’s life as he got the Israelites unstuck and lead them in re-building the walls around Jerusalem.

But it turns out there was more.  Instead of pb & j, it was more like a BLT.  There was a third distinguishing characteristic in Nehemiah’s life – praise.

Over and over again he acknowledges dependence on God’s character – His power, His help, His care.  Nehemiah doesn’t lose sight of who’s God and who’s NOT.  He prays on behalf of the people “whom You redeemed by YOUR great strength and YOUR mighty hand.”

He reminds others “our God will fight for us” and says “Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome…”  He tells others about “the gracious hand of God” repeatedly, and acknowledges the work is done “with the help of our God.”

So…PRAY, ACT, PRAISE, REPEAT.  But what if this “magic” formula doesn’t work in 52 days like it did for Nehemiah?

Sometimes I believe we stay stuck because God is at work “unsticking” other stuff in us that we’re not aware needs unsticking.  Character stuff that may not be our priority, but is His.  Like the stubborn leftover egg in a frying pan, He scrapes away.Unknown

What if our prayers in these seasons included, “Lord, help me not just to obsess on getting unstuck, but for as long as I’m here, show me what You want to form in me.  Help me to be present to You in each moment.”

Our friend, Steve Hayner, is “stuck” in a season of scary, debilitating cancer.  He is beautifully living out a life with similar character qualities to Nehemiah.  The other day he wrote this:

 In J.B. Phillips’ translation of the New Testament, he renders Romans 5:1-5 this way: 

1-2 Since then it is by faith that we are justified, let us grasp the fact that we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through [Christ] we have confidently entered into this new relationship of grace, and here we take our stand, in happy certainty of the glorious things he has for us in the future.

3-5 This doesn’t mean, of course, that we have only a hope of future joys—we can be full of joy here and now even in our trials and troubles. Taken in the right spirit these very things will give us patient endurance; this in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces a steady hope, a hope that will never disappoint us. Already we have some experience of the love of God flooding through our hearts by the Holy Spirit given to us.

 

These were great verses to wake up to this morning.  Life is lived in the grace of Jesus through and through–whether the grace is obvious in our immediate circumstances or not. With Jesus at work in our lives, God’s “good” is always being done and we always continue to grow and to be transformed.
Have you been in a situation of feeling “stuck” over a long season?  What do you feel like God was forming in you?

What to do When You’re Stuck, part one

May 27, 2014 /

Years ago, when we were newly married and just learning to play golf, my sisters-in-law and I were on a course together while our husbands played ahead of us.

Other than sister-in-law, Rose hitting a tree and having the ball careen back over her head, farther away from the hole than where she started, the day might have been uneventful except that sister-in-law Betsy had the bright idea of driving the golf cart through a sand trap.

Golf carts, in case you were wondering, are not dune buggies.  Their wheels spin like the blades of a fan – a lot of movement, but no forward motion.

I’ve been been thinking of that spinning-wheel-spitting-sand-stuckness lately because that’s the way I’ve been feeling.  

Stuck is not a feeling unique to me.  If you’re not there now, you probably have been.

  • Maybe you’re stuck in a job you don’t like.
  • Stuck in a relationship that’s not healthy.
  • Stuck in a financial hole.
  • Stuck with a problem that seems unsolvable.
  • Maybe doors seem to be closing and you can’t find the proverbial open window.  They’re all closed too.

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In my personal “stuckness” I’ve been re-reading Nehemiah and trying to apply some principles from his life.

Nehemiah is the guy who was wrecked by the report he received in exile that the walls of Jerusalem were in ruins.  He is the leader who God uses to oversee the rebuilding of the walls.  Look at just a few verses from the book of Nehemiah:

“I prayed before the God of heaven. THEN I said…”

“I prayed to the God of heaven AND I answered the king…”

“We prayed to our God AND posted a guard…”

Here’s the thing that strikes me most deeply:

Nehemiah never acted without praying and never prayed without acting. 

For some of us, our tendency is to major on problem-solving.  Strive, fix, do, without inquiring or submitting or listening for the counsel of the Know-it-all-Guy we say we want to give control to.  So we spin our wheels often digging in deeper in the sand.

For others, the temptation is to do a lot of praying and reflecting and “put it in God’s hands” assuming that means He’ll magically do all the work and we can go sit in the lawn chair with some ice tea, thank you very much.  Abandon the golf cart for someone else to deal with, as it were.

I tend to fall into the first camp – fire, ready, aim (to use a different metaphor).  So here’s what trying to apply this Nehemiah principle is looking like these days in my life:

I pray early each morning.  And by that I mean I rant at God a little bit in my journal, telling Him about all the stuckness in my life, in case He hasn’t been paying attention.

And then I ask Him what He’s going to do about it, and what He wants me to do about it.

And then I try to pay attention to the constructive choices I can make, circling back to God to say “So what do you think about THAT?  Whatcha gonna do now?  And how close are we to getting out of this sand trap?”

Maybe as you pray, the action God will prompt you to do is to get counseling, or take a Financial Peace class, or apply for a job, or find a mentor.  

PRAY, ACT, REPEAT.

If only that was the magic formula.

But wait!  There’s more!  Next post…

In what ways have you been (or are you) stuck?  What helped?

 

 

About Ellen and Giant Space Acorns and Choosing Life

May 23, 2014 /

It’s One Word Friday!  How’s it been going for you?  Has your word changed your life or do you have a hard time remembering what it is?  Here are some of my recent thoughts on Choose Life.

Text message convo with daughter Maggie…

Me: Guess who I just ran into at the pool??!!!

Maggie: Ellen???!!

Me: Close, but no.  Not this time.

Maggie and I love Ellen (Degeneres) and are pretty sure she wants to meet us and be best friends.  We also made it to the finals auditioning for the Amazing Race as a team.

And we’ve visited the giant space acorn (which is probably on your bucket list too).

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All that to say, we set our sites pretty high.  No halfway stuff for us.

I figure, in John 10:10 Jesus didn’t say, “I have come so that your life might be kind of okay.”

Then the other day I was having a conversation with my husband (small caveat: it may have been 6 am and he may still have been half-asleep when we had this conversation).

Me: Honey, Light of my Life, what are some exciting things you’d like to do in the next 10 years?

Husband: “Road trips.  Like up the coast of Oregon and Washington State.”

Me: Road trips???!!  NOOOOOOO!  Wrong answer!  (You think you know a person!)

Husband:  What are some exciting things YOU’D like to do in the next 10 years?

Me: Hike Machu Pichu, teach with you in Africa, hang glide in Switzerland, are the first things that come to mind.

Husband:  Well, whatever you die of it won’t be boredom.

True, but as I look back over my “high expectations” I think, how many of them are eternal?  How many of them reaaaaallly matter?

When we “choose Life” we’re choosing to live into all of God’s abundance, but He also warns us about investing in what won’t last.  And then there’s that whole annoying thing about losing our life in order to gain it.  And the reminder to “live a life worthy of our calling.”

I love it when choosing life includes my passport, or chocolate, or doing anything outside, preferably with really exciting people.  But what about when choosing life means choosing inconvenience or grace, or discipline or service?

When I’m not sure, this reminder helps:

Choosing life will always be consistent with choosing love.

Choose life = Choose love.

So today I’m thinking about the “Life” I’m choosing.   What about you?  How’s it going?

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