More COLORED LIGHTS! MUSIC! PARTIES! ALL OF THE THINGS!
As an Enneagram 7 the “more” of Advent can be seductive, but ironically it is the opposite that God invites us into during this sacred waiting season.
Stillness instead of activity. Silence instead of noise. Wonder instead of worry.
The other day, God connected the dots for me in a way only He can.
My devotional reading was about Zechariah. In Luke 2:20 when he questions the angel in disbelief the angel says,
“and now you will be silent and not able to speak…”
Although this was a punishment, was silence also a gift to Zechariah in a way? What did this silence make possible?
What came to my mind was that perhaps Z experienced more of the sufficiency of God like it says in Psalm 46:10
“Be still and know that I am God.”
This thought was further impressed on me when I went to write a note and the verse on the front of the card reads:
“The Lord will fight for you. You only need to stand still”
Exodus 14:14
As these thoughts were swirling in my mind, we received a call from the choir director at our church who had been working for months on a classic Christmas concert including orchestra, soloists and choir that was scheduled for the next day.
He told us that after a 3 1/2 hour choir rehearsal one choir member had tested positive for Covid. In an abundance of caution, with great sorrow, they were canceling the choir portion of the evening.
This director was so disappointed, but he said, “God will still use this.” And He did. It was amazing.
And in the margin where the choir was to sing, we provided a time of silence. To breathe. To listen. To pay attention to the thin place between heaven and earth.
Maybe you’re reading this and you have kids and a demanding job and you can’t imagine silence. Or maybe you are alone and silence exacerbates loneliness.
Can I suggest one small act of resistance? (If your answer is “no”, stop reading :))
Early in the morning while it’s still dark, or late at night before you go to bed, bundle up, go outside and look up.
Be still.
Feel your smallness and God’s majesty.
Feel your belovedness.
Breathe in: “Jesus”
Breathe out: “You are with me in this place.”
What practices have been helpful to you this Advent? Share in the comments!
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Over the past month I coached an online workshop through National Community Church, teaching people how to share their God stories – the story of how they came to know Jesus and the stories of how God has shown up in their everyday lives – showing them more bout His character.
In our tiny group, was a committed young man who joined us online at 4:30 a.m. his time each week from India! He so inspired me as he shared his story of growing up Hindu, but coming to recognize Jesus as the healer of his mom, forgiver and savior. He has little to no support other than the online faith community and yet he has such a passion for having India know Jesus. Will you pray with me for him?
Gracious Lord, we come before You on behalf of many around the world, like Kirubakaran, who are following You under such difficult circumstances. We pray that your Holy Spirit might strengthen and encourage their hearts. Help them to know that they are known, seen, loved, and valued by You. I pray that even today they might see the fruit of their perseverance. In the strong name of Jesus, Amen.
For Parents (or mentors, aunts, etc)…
I love, love, love this list of 10 Fun Things to Do at Home with Kids and I know they are good, because I did some of them back in the day of littles! Even though my kids are grown, I’d love for us to create a family time capsule over the holidays. Won’t it be interesting to look back on this season 10 years from now? (Hopefully we WILL be looking back some day!)
If you’re like me, you can read something like this and think, “Oh, what a great idea!” but not do anything about it. Maybe choose one idea (or let your kids choose one) and commit to do it this week. Make a memory!
Those who know me, know I need no extra motivation to travel, but I was captivated by this list of 18 Movies that Inspire Traveland am putting several on my list to watch asap!
So thankful I was able to visit D.C. IRL this week!
For Hosts…
A Hosting Game-Changer from Priya Parker – assign your guests roles. People like to help!
In social gatherings, hosts can also carry too much weight (in part because we want people to relax and have fun.) But guess what? These roles can actually be fun, playful, and deeply simple. It could be, as my friend Nora Abousteit does, that you assign a “Water Minister” and a “Wine Minister” to be in charge of refilling glasses and making sure everyone has enough to drink.
Many of you know that my husband and I have been serving temporarily in a church that has experienced extreme pain and a break in trust. They are a church of Jesus-following people who are prayerfully doing their best to acknowledge mistakes, and seek healing. This week was another step in that process. I thought it might be a good time to repost this from years ago.
Dear Friends wounded by the Church,
As I write this, each of your faces come to mind and tears fill my eyes. For you.
And for me. Because I am one of you.
Maybe it’s because I am that you’ve felt safe to share your pain with me.
You’ve experienced exclusion,
poorly handled conflict,
shaming,
power struggles,
dishonesty,
truth-telling with out grace or hope of redemption
from a church you’ve loved.
From a church I’m sure would say is trying to do its best.
But I think of the particular circumstances each of you have endured at the hands of people who say they love Jesus, and mostly I just can’t believe it and I want to rail at the injustice and shake “someone” and make it right, and undo the pain. But instead, maybe I could tell you a story.
Last summer when I was on a bike ride through my neighborhood on a beautiful warm breezy day, my shoelace got tangled in the gears of my bike. I swerved and was stuck and took a wicked bad fall, gashing my knee gruesomely and dripping blood everywhere leaving quite a trail of evidence for the CSI folks should they choose to investigate. It felt scary and unexpected and I felt out-of-control.
To add to my humiliation, a bunch of my friends, men, women, and children, were out in their front yard and witnessed the whole awkward debacle. And I couldn’t even get up because my shoelace was still tightly tethering me to my gears. The whole group of them ran over to me all concerned, and one of them ran back to get a wet towel and a super-hero bandaid which was so sweet.
For days and weeks and months, that wound was tender and though it scabbed over, it got easily bumped and would start bleeding all over again. I’d experience set-backs in the healing process and I learned to not be around the people who would carelessly stumble into me and my fragile wound. Instead, for awhile, I needed to choose gentle friends and counselors who loved me and would be patient with my ugly scab and listen to the story of how it happened.
It was some of those same people who, as I began to heal, were able to help me ask about my choices in the situation, and where God was, and what He might be teaching me. In the process I realized that my fists were clenched a lot – clenched in determination to fix things quickly. And they helped me to unclench my hands and patiently trust Jesus to do His work.
I believe we get better if we want to. But today, I still have a very noticeable scar that will probably never disappear. This scar is my reminder to be careful, wear my helmet, and try to be gentle with other riders. Oh, and tie my shoes more tightly.
The other day, a friend who’s recently been hurt and disillusioned by the church said, “I don’t see how you have hope and why you keep showing up.” The church does, often, make me sad, but it’s not the church I trust in. It’s Jesus.
To my many friends who, like me, have been wounded by the church I would say don’t give up on Her. Because Jesus hasn’t given up on Her. Or you. Or me. And we are the church.
Speak the truth. Be gentle. Look for Jesus. Admit your own brokenness. Forgive. But don’t give up.
For whatever reason, Jesus has said the Church is His Plan A for loving the world.
Ahh but we’re a messed up bunch, aren’t we all? So it’s a good thing that included in Plan A is the cross and forgiveness for all of us.
Have you been wounded by the church? What has God used to help you heal?
Before 2020 the yearly average number of investigated incidents with unruly passengers on airlines was 143.
In 2021, just since January 1st, there have been 3,715 reports of unruly passengers investigated.
As a friend of ours says, “All the fuzz has worn off.”
We’re raw, easily bumped and bruised and offended.
Because we have all been dealing with so much, we are less likely to feel we have the capacity to extend grace, to expect the best, to submit to others for the greater good.
I think our angry, anxious, defensive posture may be rooted in an underlying feeling of not being safe – so much is out of our control.
I’m with you. This has been an incredibly stressful week. I find myself going back over and over to a practice that helps me. Maybe it will help you too.
First, close your eyes and breathe deeply.
Imagine that you are standing next to a wide, rushing mountain stream, filled with boulders.
You hop from rock to rock until you get to the middle of the stream where there is a huge boulder that has a shallow smooth dip in it, almost like a seat has been carved out for you.
You sit on the boulder watching the water rushing by on all sides.
The rapids represent all the circumstances that threaten to overwhelm you, carry you away, pull you under. But you are safe and secure on the rock.
As you rest there, secure, when worries come to mind, you release them into the water and let it carry them away for now.
You remind yourself of this.
Find rest my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.
Psalm 62:5-8
There is something settling, reassuring to me about the boulder I choose to sit on over and over through my day. Are there practices that are helpful to you in this stressful season?
We’re living temporarily in California, so Fall is…different, but we’re still trying to do some of our traditions, like making first-day-of-school chicken pot pie, watching Brian’s Song, and making lots of apple-y and pumpkin-y things. Here are a few fun links from this week!
I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to make these this year, but aren’t they adorable and so easy!??
From Instagram this week – book recs and hospitality how-to’s.
Yes, Covid is serious, and we have serious differences over protocols, and there’s a lot else in the world that seems more defeating than ever. We need to pay attention, to do the work of mourning and mending.
But we also need to take a break, to get outside and look up, bake something yummy, take a nap, laugh out loud, celebrate the everyday graces of God.
I hope that one of the following will make you smile or lift your spirits.
Have we ever said “pivot” more times in a year? We’re all in this together!
When you’re having a bad day, be gentle with yourself.
When you have a little bandwidth, consider blessing someone else with a care package or note of encouragement.
This arrived from daughter Katy who knows I love fall and baking. The book, “My Life in France” is just delightful, and I think of Katy every time I use the spatula – see recipes below 🙂
This soup and bread arrived when my husband had surgery recently, and the card below came on the exact date I was speaking about Moses to the staff here at church.
One of my favorite Instagram feeds to follow is Kelle Hampton (aka ETST – Enjoying the small things) From her I got the idea of creating a “You’ve Got Mail” care package. It’s been so fun to assemble!
A fall candle from The Grace Effect CALLED “Shop Around the Corner“! I ordered one and loved the scent to much I ordered two more!
A Starbucks gift card (for a Tall Decaf Cappuccino)
Every day we pray this for our kids – that they would recognize some simple or dramatic evidence of God’s character displayed in their life before they go to sleep at night.
• Strength supplied in moments of weakness • A text of encouragement • A Scripture verse coming to mind at just the right time • A sunset or seeing the power of creation • A friend asking forgiveness
We want them to see Him just as we want that for ourselves.
How are you praying for your kids, your students, your nieces and nephews?
Share what you’re doing that’s bringing you joy or what others have done in the comments! If you get this in email, just click on the title and scroll down to the bottom. If you’re commenting for the first time, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up right away…it will!
It was a gorgeous summer morning in Minneapolis and I decided to get in an early bike ride before it was too hot. If you haven’t had the privilege of visiting here, let me say that we have lakes. Lots of them. AND we have more dedicated bike trails than any other city in the U. S.
The lake I was riding around has a oneway bike trail which I had been following, but detoured along a street away from the lake. To get back to where I needed to go was complicated. The street was very narrow with no gutter so I didn’t feel comfortable there and veered up onto an empty sidewalk (not the bike trail because I was going the wrong way) thinking I could just ride a few feet to get back where I needed to be.
“IT’S ILLEGAL TO RIDE ON THE SIDEWALK!” yelled a man walking a dog (who was not on the sidewalk where I was). “IT’S ILLEGAL TO RIDE ON THE SIDEWALK!” he yelled again.
You know what I did? I started crying. (ok, I just got really teary, but still…)
“Why are you telling this ridiculous sidewalk story?” you may be asking.
That’s why. In this season when everyone seems to be offended by everything, we need more compassionate curiosity than self-righteous judgment.
Sidewalk biking is a small thing, but all of us are dealing with much bigger issues, like Covid vaccinations and masking, where we’re tempted to feel self-righteous and judgmental.
This. Is. So. Hard. When people who love Jesus come to different conclusions about the best course of action, how do we handle it?
I am unapologetically in favor of getting vaccinated for Covid and masking where called for. I am guided by the biblical mandate to love others by protecting the most vulnerable, prioritizing the common good over my individual rights or desires, and stewarding the medical resources God has graciously given us.
But I’ve been in conversations with friends and family who don’t agree with me. They have a variety of reasons for coming to different conclusions. So, unlike the stranger yelling at me on the sidewalk, how can we navigate the dynamics of these relationships in ways that honor God and others made in His image?
1. Acknowledge that we are all “Extra Grace Required” (EGR) people in this season.
We have been through a lot. We’re carrying the losses of the past year and a half, like a wounded soldier with PTSD carrying his buddy out of a combat zone. We’re wary and defensive. We need people to be gentle with us, as we need to be gentle with them. We’re all doing our best.
2. Prioritize a posture of compassionate curiosity.
When we look at Jesus, He asked questions much of the time (and He really DID know all of the right answers!). When we have the humility to be genuinely interested in what has informed someone’s decisions, we may still not come to agree with them, but we may come to a place of greater respect or understanding of a different point of view. If we want people to listen to us, we need to listen to them.
Questions open dialog and make influence possible. Consider asking:
Could you help me understand what led you to your position on this?
It’s clear you have a lot of emotion around this issue. What have you experienced that triggers this intensity?
What would you like me to know that I may misunderstand?
Are you open to hearing how I came to my position on this?
3. Look for common ground.
My brother and I disagree about getting vaccinated, and have different standards for masking. Earlier this summer I talked to him in person to try to better understand his position. Before we talked, he prayed for us, a reminder that the most important thing we have in common is a love for Jesus and each other.
We need to affirm each other’s willingness to have hard conversations, to show up, to be vulnerable.
Coming away from our conversation, I still don’t agree with his stance, but I better understand. I also better understand the relational pain he’s experienced in our family as a result of his choices and the way we’ve communicated.
4. Have good boundaries.
All this said, Covid is a life and death issue and our choices have worldwide consequences. I firmly believe that Jesus would have us pursue the qualities listed above, balancing grace and truth, but there are also times when we need to draw a line and say that it may not be healthy for us to continue to talk about this, or spend time together.
You might end up saying, “I’m sorry, but I will not spend time indoors with you because the choices you’re making feel unsafe, but I’d be happy to meet you outdoors. I love you and I want to find ways to prioritize our ongoing relationship.”
“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.”
2 Timothy 2:15-16
I am the first to say, “I really struggle with this and get it wrong so often!” I offer these thoughts as a fellow traveler, acknowledging we’re all doing our best (even mean yelling dog-walker guy who may have had sidewalk trauma in his past 🙂
I don’t think this is the best place to debate the issue of vaccines, but I would love to hear of your experience discussing hard issues and what you’ve learned in the comments.
If you receive this in email, just click on the title and scroll down to leave a comment. If this is your first or second time commenting, I have to approve it, so don’t lose heart if you don’t see it immediately.
As I sit in Starbucks writing this, the world is still rotating on its axis, but the spin feels more like an unpredictable cyclone – whirling debris that keeps changing direction and every time we think it’s going to run out of energy it amps up again.
You don’t need me to name all the things. There’s the global suffering and division we are horrified at and want to help alleviate. But you also have your own personal hard stuff that is unique to you, and….just…life. We’re tempted to say “Oh…first world problems.” and that’s true, but your hard is hard too.
How much do we camp in the pain – our own or others’? How do we pray? How do we keep perspective? Can we be thankful, but also honest about the loss we don’t understand?
On Fridays I often try to offer some resources I’ve found that have been helpful or encouraging to me. I hope you’ll find some nugget here to equip or refresh you.
As we grapple with death and destruction around the world and pray, I found these two suggestions from Danielle Macauley and Katie Racine really helpful. Prayer isn’t the only thing we can do, but it’s one thing.
I listen to podcasts at 1.5 speed, but I went back and listened a second time to this one to take notes!
Ohmygosh! This is such a great sermon, especially if you struggle with comparison (and who doesn’t?)
Are you single, or have single friends you love? You will resonate with this podcast!
I LOVE to-do lists, but yes, they can get overwhelming. If you read this simple post linked below, be sure to read the comments too because there are some great additional ideas there!
I’m always nervous when I recommend books, because everyone has such different taste. It’s great when you find someone you can trust to consistently endorse reads you will like. Holly Furtick is one of those people for me.
One Two Three is a terrific book with fascinating, quirky characters who suck you into their world.
One Two Three
Lastly, as fall approaches, a recipe for all the zucchini people will hopefully be giving you from their garden. It’s The World’s BEST Zucchini Bread Recipe! (note: I did NOT say the “healthiest” :))
I glimpse a small patch of bright fire red in the middle of still-green maple leaves as I bike through my neighborhood to Starbucks early in the morning, greeting dog-walkers and porch sitters with their first cup of coffee. Cardinals chirp and I imagine they are discussing plans to head south.
It’s not cold yet, but there’s a change in the air. The mornings are cooler and soon it will take all day for the sun to warm the earth, barely struggling up to the high, like a middle school boy trying to do chin-ups, then sliding quickly back down.
Yellow buses lumber through the neighborhood doing practice runs and we notice that dusk tiptoes in earlier. I smile at “bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils”. I want to light candles, make soup, bake muffins. Things are changing.
Whether you’re back to packing lunches and driving carpools, adjusting to a new baby in your home, or anticipating a change in employment, moving to a new city, or trying to accept a “new normal” without a loved-one, Fall marks a season of change. And even good change can be hard.
I’ve enjoyed a glorious summer at home in Minnesota. This week I need to head back to California where my husband has an interim pastoral position. I’m so thankful for home and summer, but I’m also thankful I’ll be reunited with John and our west-coast daughter and son-in-law.
I look forward, “adventurously expectant” (Romans 8:15 MSG) to what God has next, but still… It’s got me reflecting on how to “choose life”(Deuteronomy 13:19) while also in the midst of the grieving that inevitably comes with change.
Here are three practices I’m engaging in:
1. Honor Traditions
In seasons of change, traditions are comforting and reassuring. Throughout Scripture God institutes festivals and celebrations that are woven into the rhythm of the year to help us remember His faithfulness.
One of our traditions through the years as our daughters were growing up, was a “first day of school dinner” to which we invited two single friends on staff to join our family. They are like surrogate aunties for our girls. We always had homemade chicken pot pie and share “first day” highlights with laughter and thanksgiving.
What traditions can you continue to embrace (or even create) during a season of change?
2. Reflect on Relationships
Change in location or circumstances often means change in relationships. Some people you’ve seen regularly will seemingly vanish from your everyday life.
Transition is a good time to do a relational Examen. Reflect on the people in your life.
Are there any relationships where there might be unresolved issues?
Who are the friends that remain steadfast through changing seasons? How do you continue to nurture those relationships?
Are there places where God is prompting you to reach out and make new friends?
Recently, God convicted me that there was a past relationship where I hadn’t sufficiently checked in to make sure there wasn’t unspoken pain. I felt like maybe I hadn’t adequately cared for this person in her time of transition, so I set up a coffee to ask how she felt. Is there someone you’ve been too busy to see in this new season? Might they be hurt?
3. Focus on the unchanging character of God
What are the attributes of God, the glimpses of grace and goodness you can call out each day as a counter-weight to the circumstances which may feel out of control or stressful in seasons of change?
If you have kids, can you share “God-sightings” around the dinner table?
Or journal about them? Or have a texting agreement with a friend – each of you texting how you remember God’s attributes each day?
The plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.
psalm 33:11
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness
lamentations 3:22-23
So, those are my thoughts on what helps when change seems to throw me a loop. Maybe just pick one to focus on each day this week.
And what ideas would YOU share? If you receive this in email, just click on the title at the top and it will take you to the host site where you can leave a comment.
And…Just for a fun bonus, here’s the chicken pot pie recipe I use. Maybe consider making it and inviting some new friends over!
Crust
1 box Pillsbury refrigerated pie crusts, softened as directed on box
Filling
1/3 cup butter
1/3 cup chopped onion
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 3/4 cups chicken broth (from 32-oz carton)
1/2 cup whole milk
2 1/2 cups shredded cooked chicken (I splurge on rotisserie chicken already deboned)
2 cups frozen mixed vegetables, thawed
** I usually cut down on either the broth or the milk, and I add about a Tablespoon of “Better than Boullion organic chicken base” Can also add sautéed mushrooms. Steps
1 Heat oven to 425°F. Make pie crusts as directed on box for Two-Crust Pie using 9-inch glass pie pan. (I pre-cook the bottom crust for about 10 minutes so it doesn’t get soggy with the filling)
2 In 2-quart saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Add onion; cook 2 minutes, stirring frequently, until tender. Stir in flour, salt and pepper until well blended. Gradually stir in broth and milk, cooking and stirring until bubbly and thickened.
3 Stir in chicken and mixed vegetables. Remove from heat. Spoon chicken mixture into crust-lined pan. Top with second crust; seal edge and flute. Cut slits in several places in top crust.
4 Bake 30 to 40 minutes or until crust is golden brown. During last 15 to 20 minutes of baking, cover crust edge with strips of foil to prevent excessive browning. Let stand 5 minutes before serving.
Today is the 6 year anniversary of the last day we shared with my precious brother on this earth. He died too young and we miss him terribly. I share this repost in the hopes that it will encourage those of you, in particular, who have dealt with loss this year.
Dear Baby David,
It’s a lilac-blooming, cut-grass wafting, bike-riding spring season here. Life is bursting out everywhere.
Today is your birthday. It’s also Mother’s Day – a cruel irony for Mom.
A year ago you were in the midst of the fight for your earthly life. And then in two months it was over.
You’ve been gone from our sight since July 18th, but you continue to show up when I see a mischievous grin, or an arms-open-wide welcome, the painting of a fly-fisherman, a dad playing ball with his kids, a question that is asked in order to take a faith conversation beyond the surface…
It’s still hard to comprehend that you are not physically here with us. As the year progresses, we link arms as a family, stumbling together through the holidays and everydays. The thing we share is our steadfast love of you and each other. But we each grieve and process in different ways. We’re trying to listen deeply to each other.
I think when someone we crazy-love dies (husband, dad, brother, son) the biggest challenge is continuing to choose Life.
First of all, we just. don’t. WANT. to. We want to wake up and have you grilling on the patio like you should be. We don’t want to let you go – as if we could, by sheer will pull you back in like a kite that has been taken out of sight by the wind.
Also, it feels somehow that letting go and envisioning a new life without you in it is wrong…a betrayal. Like doing that somehow negates our love and devotion to you…How can we possibly continue without a vital, beloved piece of our lives?
But here’s the thing that helps me. In the everyday ordinary stuff and even as you were dying, you chose Life.
You chose Life first and foremost because you chose Jesus, affirming that He loves and forgives us, and as you always said, “He’s the good Author of our story.”
And then you chose life by seeing the image of Jesus in others, and serving those who felt like their life was over, and by laughing easily at yourself, and by your delight in His creation.
So we continue to choose Life even in the midst of death.
Susan is both devastated and courageous.
The tension between acceptance and the temptation to be stuck wallowing forever is real, but she has taken monumental steps in choosing Life.
She can be brave because you affirmed every day that she is capable of doing hard things. You would be so proud of her just as we are.
She does the hard dance of stretching herself, but knows when she needs to withdraw and rest with Jesus.
Her faith remains authentic and vibrant, but she hasn’t been able to go back to church without you and she knows that’s ok in this season.
She goes back into cancer wards with Sophia the wonder dog to bring comfort in painful situations she is all too familiar with.
She organized Team Dave Strong and Courageous to raise money for Melanoma research.
She is painting the downstairs a lighter color to lighten her mood.
She put together the Dave Johansen Memorial Leadership Lending Library at your office, so you are continuing to mentor others even in your absence.
She seeks grief support and community, but isn’t afraid to say what is helpful and what isn’t, what’s too soon, what’s uncomfortable, and what works. She recently has connected with a group of young widows started by another person YOU influenced with your life.
And she continues to seek glimpses of the Eternal. This was what she posted yesterday.
Loss hurts, but love wins when we continue to choose Life. You probably already know all this, but we’re trying down here. We’re really trying.
