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Why We Need Mollys

My friend Molly texted our small group what we in our family call “a scathingly brilliant idea” this week.

Her thought was to create an Instagram account called “My Real Life”.  She even sent us the first two posts. I love her and I want to give her high fives.

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There’s a healthy drive for authenticity everywhere these days.

A backlash against Martha Stewart crafty perfection, and happy clappy Christians who “have it all together”, and women who are expected to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan while simultaneously helping their kids with a science project involving earthworms and looking like Tina Fey (with her sense of humor).

This longing for “real” is good. We’re responding to fakery and stress tied to impossible standards.

But what about aspiring to our better selves? Continue reading

5 Characteristics of Healthy Community

Who are your people? Do you have a group of friends who are your tribe, or your “home team”? Those people you can tell the truth to and they won’t throw you out? They may kick you in the butt when that’s needed, but they’ll also hug you and say “It’s gonna be ok honey”.

My husband, John, has gotten a little bit sick of me raving about a community of young married couples I have the privilege of hanging out with. They are called Catalyst, and they inspire the socks off me.

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Right from the start, they have leaned into the sacrament of community. They are my heroes in this regard.

There are five vivid snapshots of our life-together that come to mind, highlighting characteristics of authentic, life-giving community. I thought they might be helpful to share: Continue reading

Soul Food When You’re Depressed With Politics (or life in general)

Hey friends, I don’t know about you, but around here it’s been quite a downer of a week. It just seems that all the news from both friends and the world at large, is H.E.A.V.Y.

Sure, sometimes the appropriate response is a sarcastic “Your problems are soooo real!”

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We need safe places to be real about our mess, but we also need to balance our pain with the discipline of genuine gratitude.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thes. 5:18

So, after a week of ugly politics, continued war, hard diagnoses, hurting marriages, and loss on many fronts, here’s some stuff I’m thankful for. Continue reading

5 Choices When You’re Feeling Rejected

I read what’s on my computer and feel like I’ve been slapped in the face as I sit at a table in Starbucks. Tears leak out, running down my cheeks and I dash to grab some napkins, turning my face to the wall, hoping no one will notice.

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I know I’m not alone. We’ve all had moments like this.

  • Someone who’s opinion you value, rejects you through words or actions.
  • You don’t get the job.
  • A friend doesn’t show up.
  • There’s a silent undercurrent of disapproval in a relationship.
  • The invite doesn’t come.
  • Someone you admire unfollows, unfriends, unsubscribes, un-whatevers

You wonder if you’ve been used and discarded, if you’re unself-aware, if you were stupid for thinking you had something to offer of value to the relationship, or the job, or the community, or anyone anywhere in the entire universe.

And you tell yourself it shouldn’t matter. Your true self is the one that is valued and cherished by God. No.Matter. What.

You tell yourself that the opinion of “that person” shouldn’t have power over you. But it does. Continue reading

The Secret I Learned From a Farmer in the Middle East

I’m still in Israel and Palestine as I write this…

where there are modern dividing walls, and an ancient wailing wall, biblical ruins,  refugee camps, olive trees, and ubiquitous tour buses, with sheep and shepherds liberally sprinkled throughout the countryside.

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It’s a place where it’s easy to see why David described God as his Shepherd.

The 23rd Psalm might be the most famous go-to Psalm, but I’m wondering how many people really experience verse 5“You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies”.

That’s the line that keeps running through my head as we meet with Daoud Nassar at his farm on a hill outside Bethlehem that is ringed by Israeli settlements.

He is a Palestinian Christian who says “We refuse to be enemies” Continue reading

The Discipline of Different

I sit and stare. Very uninspired.

I’m doing a “Read through the Bible in a Year” plan.

The good part of this is that I don’t just get to choose my favorite parts to read each day – you know the blue sky promises, and the verses that support my own biases and self-righteousness.

The bad part is that I don’t get to choose my favorite parts to read each day.

This was part of my reading recently.

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You notice there is no highlighting, no notes written in the margin, no underlining. It’s God’s instructions for the Tabernacle in Exodus 26.

Bo.Ring. Continue reading

Lessons from Hurting People

Who’s that person or group of people who hurt you deeply?  What are those words you can’t forget? That betrayal? The rejection, dismissal, even persecution you’ve endured that left a wound?

Maybe it was long, long ago. Or yesterday.

After time, you may even be able to insulate yourself and forget it for an hour, or a day, or even a week.

But then someone says something. Or does something. Or you see something out of the corner of your eye.

That wounded place gets bumped and it hurts, and you realize you need to forgive again. And again.

Because hurting people hurt people. Continue reading

Soul Food for Vacation Time

It’s March, and you all deserve a vacation! At least you do if you live in my part of the country where the winters seem like an interminable movie in gray and white. It’s like God turns off the color, scent, and sound of life for 6 months.

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But we’re a hardy people and we will persevere to Spring which arrives at the end of May and lasts 2 days.

Meanwhile, maybe you’re planning a little escape to tide you over.

If you live by a school calendar you may be preparing for Spring Break.

If you don’t, you still may be planning a warm getaway.

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So this post is about resources for vacation (or even “staycation”) refreshment. Continue reading

Choose Your Own Adventure??

Remember those Choose Your Own Adventure books maybe you read as a kid ?

In each story, you, the reader, get to make choices that determine the main character’s actions in response to the plot and its outcome.

We like Choose Your Own Adventures because we have control, right?

But real-life God capers aren’t necessarily like that.

ADVENTUROUSLY EXPECTANT is my One Word for this year.

This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” Romans 8:15

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Recently I received an invitation to participate in a trip and project with World Vision. It was totally unexpected. I was grateful for the invitation, but I wasn’t sure I was the right person for the project, and it is at a very inconvenient time when I’ll have to miss out on some meaningful events at home.

This isn’t just about me. Our two daughters recently had new job opportunities to consider. A young friend of mine is trying to discern where to go to college, and another started her own business.

When an invitation comes or a new opportunity presents itself (think new job, new project, new challenge), consider these steps:

  1. Ask friends to pray and give feedback.
  2. Ask questions:
    • What are the expectations of me before, during and after? (Every time we say “yes” to something, it means saying “no” to other things)
    • Are my gifts in line with this opportunity? Will I potentially add value by saying yes?
    • Is this opportunity or move likely to draw me closer to Jesus, or distract me from following Him?

3.  Pay attention to the promptings of the Holy Spirit (not your ego).

This recent invitation made me think of the story in the Bible of Paul and the man from Macedonia. Take a look, and try not to get bogged down in all the weird names.

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6-8 They went to Phrygia, and then on through the region of Galatia. Their plan was to turn west into Asia province, but the Holy Spirit blocked that route. So they went to Mysia and tried to go north to Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus wouldn’t let them go there either. Proceeding on through Mysia, they went down to the seaport Troas.

9-10 That night Paul had a dream: A Macedonian stood on the far shore and called across the sea, “Come over to Macedonia and help us!” The dream gave Paul his map. We went to work at once getting things ready to cross over to Macedonia. 

It’s not wrong to make plans as long as we’re paying attention to the ways the Holy Spirit may want to tweak, refine, or change them.

Like I wrote at the beginning of the year, I’m trying to learn more about my “One Word”, so I read this and I reflect…What can I learn about God and myself?

  • God’s adventures are sometimes often inconvenient. I like convenience.
  • God’s adventures require open hands. I like control.
  • God’s adventures need us to pay attention. I am spiritually ADHD.

Sometimes the adventure lies in saying “no”, sometimes in saying “yes”. After prayer and counsel, I said “yes” to this opportunity. What about you? Where are you in the process of being adventurously expectant?

How Can We “Live in the Tension” with Love?

Tomorrow I leave on another trip to Israel/Palestine with Telos, an organization that is pro-Israel, pro-Palestine, pro-peace.

The picture for me is completed when I add “Pro-Jesus”.

In case you were wondering, this is not an easy gig.

Loving people we don’t agree with is safe when it’s just a theory. Bob Goff

Some of you may already be angry with me, but one of the values of our church is a commitment to “live in the tension”. This doesn’t just apply to politics, but so many other social issues also.

Sometimes there are problems that can be solved, but often there are tensions must be managed.

Most of us love black and white, right and wrong, winners and losers, who’s in and who’s out.

We love boundary markers.

We want to major on love but not at the expense of truth, and that can be tricky.

Living in the tension is a hard one that can be misunderstood, but what it means is: Continue reading

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